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Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 7:36:59 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
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Thought...yes, they do happen, observations even...sometimes awareness but don't tell anyone but I digress...
lotus has 2 Hard Limits I would never cross as two are moral/ethical for Me also and one, well, I just don't see anything erotic about it...but two of them had never actually been discussed and she perceived them as Hard Limits...hated them, never allowed them to be crossed and well...I took her flying past them at an intense rate...and didn't find out that she didn't go there until after the fact...I recognize that the primary reason they were Hard Limits were because of past emotional circumstances...yet when I asked her if she would prefer observing them as limits, she got quiet and said 'no'.
How Hard are your limits? Would you ever consider being taken past them, as long as you didn't find them ethically wrong (no, I'm not speaking of other's 'ethics' here...)?

See, I can be serious at times...
C

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AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

Post #: 1

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 7:42:14 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

My hard limts are HARD. I only have 4 but they are staying right where they are until long after Hell freezes over and jessy is queen of the universe.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 2

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 7:43:21 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

My limits are limits (I don't distinguish between "soft" and "hard"). And that's why there are very few of them.

Now, just because something isn't a limit doesn't mean I'm going to do it with YOU on some random night. I still have preferences.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 3

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 7:47:31 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Now, just because something isn't a limit doesn't mean I'm going to do it with YOU on some random night. I still have preferences.

In no way was this meant as an invite...laughing. I suppose I was wondering if a generic audience type of you, had been taken beyond where they thought they would ever go...limit-wise.
...also, re-read My own post, yes, that should be three hard limits, not two...I can add, really...
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 7:49:52 PM

ivorylace

Posts: 56
Joined: 3/26/2006
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I have four hard limits, and they are hard. I would never even consider wearig the collar of Any who wished to 'explore' them so I have no worries.

~ lace

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 5

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 7:50:11 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

[My hard limts are HARD. I only have 4 but they are staying right where they are until long after Hell freezes over and jessy is queen of the universe.

_____________________________

-Tress /quote]

...as intriguing as I have found You over the past few weeks of reading Your posts, I would probably be scared of what Your hard limits might be...especially after your 'nailing' post...
Speaking of, wish I was down there, would be intrigued to observe...from a far distance.
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Post #: 6

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 7:59:41 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Joined: 10/1/2005
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To the OP..I have to say YES..hard limits are exactly that! Hard...A person comes up with Hard limits simply due to the fact that who else knows you and your experiences as well as YOU.Now personally unlike LA I do have soft limits as well..these limits to me mean that at this time and place for ME it is a limit but could be explored at a later time dependant on my choice of a Dominant and his limits,and the relationship we may or may not have....be well...tempting

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 7

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 7:59:59 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

How Hard are your limits? Would you ever consider being taken past them, as long as you didn't find them ethically wrong

Personally, I perfer to be pushed past limits just to see how far I actually can go.

/shrug

but that's just me

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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Post #: 8

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 8:04:49 PM

CERCKL

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Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

To the OP..I have to say YES..hard limits are exactly that! Hard...A person comes up with Hard limits simply due to the fact that who else knows you and your experiences as well as YOU.Now personally unlike LA I do have soft limits as well..these limits to me mean that at this time and place for ME it is a limit but could be explored at a later time dependant on my choice of a Dominant and his limits,and the relationship we may or may not have....be well...tempting

...so, in actuality, I would expect the two 'hard' limits I took her beyond (and as stated in My original post, I didn't know of them...though I did of the other three and wouldn't want to explore them) they were actually 'soft' limits...or maybe 'medium' (smile) limits for her...because she didn't bring them up til a couple of days later...
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 9

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 8:07:23 PM

thetammyjo

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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What do you mean by "hard limit"?

When I use the term it means "those things/situations/physical conditions" that cannot be done/changed.

I think some limits can change, I know that Fox's have, with time and growing trust and self-knowledge. Others might change because we work on changing them.

I also think that new limits can develop over time as we have more experiences -- if you didn't know about something or never tried something it might be very difficult to realize its a limit ahead of time.

I think that limits reflect the individual and each relationship -- new relationship will probably have different limits.

We as human being constantly change so obviously wouldn't our limits change?

I don't think there is anything wrong with any limit -- hard or soft -- nor do I think having more or less limits are a sign of anything but a person's uniqueness.

I do think that when a limit is pushed (on purpose or not) that the person pushing has a huge responsibility. You never know what might happen when you push that line -- could be good, could be bad, could be neutral.

In my opinion, discussion of limits, especially after one is pushed, shouldn't happen until some time has passed and the reality of what has happened can be processed. I personaly prefer to discuss such matters in as neutral and authority-free way as possible. In my experience how a person reacts to a pushed limit can change from minute to minute, hour to hour and day to day. One needs time to process and just become I'm told one thing right afterwards doesn't mean I'll heard the same thing the next day nor that I will observe positive signs a few days later.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 10

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 8:13:58 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

My limitations are medical in nature. Until medical science comes up with a cure for that which ails me, those are set, can't be pushed and there's no point in even discussing them with Himself. My issues were made known to him before he collared me and he wanted and took me anyway, flaws and all.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 11

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 8:14:01 PM

justjill

Posts: 28
Joined: 3/19/2006
Status: offline

To me a limit is a limit. Now when in the stage of getting to know each other I impose limits until mutual trust established but those are communicated seperately and I do not mind if my Master brings up my limits sometimes just as long as he is respectful and does not try to push me.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 12

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 8:19:24 PM

wardenswillow

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/24/2005
Status: offline

Two of the four(that I can think of) hard limits are ethical. The other two are hard limits because one of them I find disgusting in my opinion(that's scat) the other is a limit placed on me by my Dom because of safety/health reasons and he has a point and that's blood. Those two I would not ever want to push past....no desire to whatsoever. I've had quite few soft limits and quite a few have been pushed past. One hard limit I had has now become a soft limit or as someone else said in another post maybe it's a medium limit cause I'm still not sure if I could push past it or not but I might would consider it. So my hard limits are truly hard limts.

Edited by ModOne - Removed inappropriate content.

< Message edited by ModeratorOne -- 3/29/2006 8:26:47 PM >

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 13

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 8:20:15 PM

dorsaisgirl1

Posts: 156
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

from my expereince a hard limit for me is one that can not be crossed becouse crossing it would damage me ither emotionaly or physicaly. other people may have diferent cut of points.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 14

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 8:20:31 PM

catize

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Joined: 3/7/2006
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My limits are those activities which I know will cause me emotional or physical damage. These are immutable.
There are other activities which may make me feel squirmy or I have never tried but as no harm will be incurred I am willing to be 'pushed' past them.
I defined what I consider "harm" and discussed it thoroughly with DG before hand.

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
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Post #: 15

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 8:25:44 PM

ravn

Posts: 328
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline

my personal hard limits are merely things that are physically impossible for me. I personally, cannot be hung by my toes from a rafter, as my breasts would suffocate me. That is a hard limit. but hey, i'll try anything twice!

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 16

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 8:28:47 PM

ModeratorOne

Posts: 935
Status: offline

Before this thread goes too far please remember that posting limits that discuss illegal activities are still violations of the guidelines. We have had similar threads pulled due to this. Please try and keep it clean.

ModOne

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Post #: 17

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 8:32:42 PM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline

My hard limits might as well be called Fort Knox. They are not up for discussion, consideration, testing or pushing...period. I am up front about them from day one.  I have found that anyone on the same page as i consider these hard limits as well so it never has been an issue.

Everything else i have rated as to my level of current comfort with in a journal. (sounds anal i know)  I initially started it at the request of my mentor to keep me focused on what areas i needed to work on, what areas i needed to be pushed etc.  At times when i felt frustrated by my shortcomings, he would make me read it as a reminder of just how far i had come.

Call it my "owner's manual"...LOL...any use other than it's intended purpose voids all warrenties.

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.

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Post #: 18

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 8:33:59 PM

Naryina

Posts: 8
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline

My hard limits are in place because of :health & saftey. Not only physically but emotionally. One of my hardest limits is Face slapping. ITs in place because of the abuse i went through. I tried working it through with my former Master, but it only ended up with me on the floor in the fetal position for hours because i wouldnt beable to bring myself back till i had ....... come out of the memories. the others are there also for ethical/moral reasons.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 19

RE: Your Hard limits are HOW Hard??? - 3/29/2006 9:18:43 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Before this thread goes too far please remember that posting limits that discuss illegal activities are still violations of the guidelines. We have had similar threads pulled due to this. Please try and keep it clean.

ModOne

I would appreciate that also, I am interested in perspectives, experiences not details that would cause legal firestorms...and don't want to annoy our big brother(s)...

Namaste,
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to ModeratorOne)

Post #: 20

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