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Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 11:25:11 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		This, paraphrased, is what I got today...

first mail

Hi

I like your profile

I want to get to know you
------------------------------------
If you've even looked at my profile, its about as far as I want in terms of an approach.  I look at it
for a bit.. not picture of course and really no profile from him to speak of.  Dominant
male profile... I decide to write back.

------------------------------------

Why?
------------------------------------

and I get:

I am sub now
let's talk on the phone
------------------------------------

so I just wrote back and said.. I appreciate your interest, but no thanks.

------------------------------------

Why do men think that will work?  I don't quite get it.  I also find the immediate "I am sub now" .. as if I should be interested in that to immediately pick up the phone... argh...



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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 11:28:13 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Presumably, they only need it to work once-less effort to message fifty people crappily than to message one properly, or something?

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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 11:46:14 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		First off. a lot of men who self-identify as Dominant - do so because they figure that submissive women are easy.  Tell 'em that you're a Dom, and they hop right into bed with you.  These men's profiles are either blank - being a Dom means he doesn't need to put out any effort - or a swagger of poorly presented machismo.  I suspect that your suitor was one of those who had a few rude awakenings, and then figured that since Dommes in porn looked hot, available, and not very fussy, he'd try you.

However, I do have to say that your profile uses a LOT of words and that many people would just skim over and get a wrong impression.  I had to read it several times and I got the feeling that a lot of the qualities you want are not easily put to paper.




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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 11:59:37 AM   
Jack131313


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/5/2010
Status: offline 		I only know this...

When I'm single, I don't like having to waste my time messaging every profile of every woman I think is a catch. I also don't like having to waste my time on a lengthy introduction to every profile of every woman I think is a catch.

And here's why...

Most of the profiles are fraudulent or outdated. Even getting a response to a proper introduction is a shot in the dark at best.

Even then, a simple introduction should be a sufficient icebreaker to get conversation rolling.

I'm one that doesn't like giving out my number to just anyone, but there are people that don't mind doing just that.

Maybe these people are people that don't mind doing just that?


< Message edited by Jack131313 -- 3/5/2010 12:02:32 PM >

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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 12:24:33 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Presumably, they only need it to work once-less effort to message fifty people crappily than to message one properly, or something?


Hi

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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 12:38:33 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jack131313

I only know this...

When I'm single, I don't like having to waste my time messaging every profile of every woman I think is a catch. I also don't like having to waste my time on a lengthy introduction to every profile of every woman I think is a catch.

And here's why...

Most of the profiles are fraudulent or outdated. Even getting a response to a proper introduction is a shot in the dark at best.

Even then, a simple introduction should be a sufficient icebreaker to get conversation rolling.

I'm one that doesn't like giving out my number to just anyone, but there are people that don't mind doing just that.

Maybe these people are people that don't mind doing just that?



Reading your post, what jumps out at me is that you say that some of the women you consider 'catches' are fake.

If you don't have the capacity to distinguish the 'fake' ones before you write, I'm not that surprised that you don't get too many responses...


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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 12:41:26 PM   
Jack131313


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/5/2010
Status: offline 		It isn't always easy to tell. Many "real" profiles are merely individuals with a multiple identities, none of which are real. I've been on other sites and collarme.com seems to be plagued with fake profiles. Many of which look very real.

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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 2:16:23 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jack131313

I only know this...

When I'm single, I don't like having to waste my time messaging every profile of every woman I think is a catch. I also don't like having to waste my time on a lengthy introduction to every profile of every woman I think is a catch.

And here's why...

Most of the profiles are fraudulent or outdated. Even getting a response to a proper introduction is a shot in the dark at best.

Even then, a simple introduction should be a sufficient icebreaker to get conversation rolling.

I'm one that doesn't like giving out my number to just anyone, but there are people that don't mind doing just that.

Maybe these people are people that don't mind doing just that?


In other words, there are some males out there who just don't want to make a decent effort.  When you think about it, this kind of works in our favor, Madame4a.  It means we don't have to waste our time on someone who thinks BDSM is a shortcut.


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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 3:24:48 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not sure it has anything with being male. I get one liners like "tell me about yourself" and "what could you do for me" from females, but I generally just ignore them. Maybe they are sending out so many they don't have time to type a lot. Or they think because they are on the top, everyone else should automatically answer to them. Who knows. 

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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 3:27:28 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Presumably, they only need it to work once-less effort to message fifty people crappily than to message one properly, or something?


Got my letter huh?


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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 3:36:07 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Got my letter huh?



Not your letter, but I have got your number...
lol
:-P


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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 3:38:51 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I'm not sure it has anything with being male. I get one liners like "tell me about yourself" and "what could you do for me" from females, but I generally just ignore them. Maybe they are sending out so many they don't have time to type a lot. Or they think because they are on the top, everyone else should automatically answer to them. Who knows. 


I get a lot of those, too. I think they do it because they DO get a lot of positive responses and feel they don't have to put forth any effort because it works for them.

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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 3:40:42 PM   
thepillowdreamer


Posts: 114
Joined: 2/26/2010
Status: offline 		whenever i get a message that has "i liked what i read in your profile," or "tell me about yourself," i delete it.

the former because 9/10 times that i read the sender's profile, it just screams that they wouldn't like what i say in my profile. the latter because i totally wear my heart on my sleeve in my profile.

if somebody can't pick a topic out of that, or my interests, then they're either going by the "if i send this out fifty times it's gotta work at least once" theory vaguelycurious brought up or are operating the computer with the aid of a helmet and state-appointed helper.

damn spammers! get off my lawn! *shakes fist*


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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 3:49:57 PM   
thepillowdreamer


Posts: 114
Joined: 2/26/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jack131313
When I'm single, I don't like having to waste my time messaging every profile of every woman I think is a catch.


how in the fuck is messaging supposed "catches" a waste of your time?

quote:

I also don't like having to waste my time on a lengthy introduction to every profile of every woman I think is a catch.


oh, you're a douchebag. that's why. thanks for disambiguating that for me; it was a real noggin scratcher.

quote:

Most of the profiles are fraudulent or outdated.


then leave.

quote:

Even getting a response to a proper introduction is a shot in the dark at best.


yeah, because when you're dating (rl or online), you're taking the risk of getting shot down. cripes, most of that learned that shit in middle school.

quote:

Even then, a simple introduction should be a sufficient icebreaker to get conversation rolling.


considering how many "simple introductions" any given female on this site gets daily? no, you need to up your game if you wanna separate yourself from the herd. and don't give me any "but i'm different" bullshit: if you can say that most girls here are fake, then i can say that you're like the rest of the lazy shits who don't understand why they're not getting any positive attention.

ooh, i totally went there.


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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 4:11:18 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		I get these types of letters all the time. My opinion? Men come here thinking we are all about sex and think they can get laid. So, they write to as many femals profiles as they can, usualy sending a form letter. They rarely look at profiles. When I get a letter and do not see they looked at my profile that's an automatic delete. If they do not show up on my 15 mile search that's also a delete. If they have a blank profile or are out of state or the country the filter sends them to bulk and I never have to bother with them. I don't like lies or BS so I'm pretty aggresive about keeping it out of my inbox.

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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 4:15:02 PM   
blmtrsne


Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline 		I always wonder how men detect all these fake Doms? 
By not reading their profile and sending a message like "Hi there" ?
And if the lady in question doesn't answer she must be fake?

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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 7:52:26 PM   
theGuideGoddess


Posts: 135
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

Why do men think that will work?  I don't quite get it.  I also find the immediate "I am sub now" .. as if I should be interested in that to immediately pick up the phone... argh...



The problem with the question is in the assumption that they actually DO think.  They don't.  They are so focused on the object between their legs that there just isn’t enough blood for the head on thier shoulders to actually function.

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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/5/2010 8:09:28 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hi.

How about telling the guy he'll get back what he puts in. More effort = more outcome. Some men understand if you get straight to the point.

Hope this helps.

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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/6/2010 1:53:12 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

How about telling the guy he'll get back what he puts in. More effort = more outcome. Some men understand if you get straight to the point.


But what if he then puts in the effort and comes back with a feeling of entitlement? Could be equally annoying...


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RE: Why do men think this will work? - 3/6/2010 3:33:09 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

How about telling the guy he'll get back what he puts in. More effort = more outcome. Some men understand if you get straight to the point.


But what if he then puts in the effort and comes back with a feeling of entitlement? Could be equally annoying...



Indeed, I said "Hi" earlier and felt entitled to get a "Hi" back. Silly me for having such high expectations.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
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