RE: Giving up (Full Version)

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sblady -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:44:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: warmwoman29

Seriously ... why are you people being so mean to me? I'm not a bad woman. I'm not...

There is an advantage to not being face to face -- you can't see how much you hurt people with your words.



You know, actually they're being pretty nice. You are receiving great advice, along with a bit of a kick in the pants. Trust me, you have not seen mean. Just relax and try to understand that we're only trying to help. Welcome to the forums!!




warmwoman29 -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:44:53 AM)

icarys ... how long ago? and under another name? your profile does not exist so I cannot read you




barelynangel -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:44:57 AM)

quote:

talk with all men on equal footing, not as lovers


Maybe that's the problem. Men aren't equal, yo aren't equal with all Men. Just walk into a mall and look at men i mean really look at them. See how you react, what your initial reactions are.

Then talk to some of them in general, you will see you have different reactions to each.

There will be men who turn you off, Men who make you wanna melt, men who make you want to lick their hand (don't ask lol) Men who can just irritate you for no reason -- and that's simply LOOKING at them honestly and openly.

Perhaps you need to stop seeing men as equal footing and start seeing them as well -- MEN. I know this sounds weird, but really go back and read what you have written here -- you may understand what i am saying.

Perhaps instead of seeing men as potential friends, you see them as potential lovers. You may be surprised at their response to same and get farther in the get to know you concept to decipher where you guys can go together.

angel




VaguelyCurious -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:45:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: warmwoman29

vaguely curious, you're not getting me ...

I talk with all men on equal footing, not as lovers but to see if we even LIKE each other to have a conversation. If we don't, no harm no foul. But the fact that they will not even talk to me, not even to say thanks! if I pay them a small compliment --- hell I even write and say thanks to men who take the time to read my profile. And it is genuine thanks. Out of all the men I have thanked, only one responded back and said he appreciated the thanks. It made me think that's the first time anyo woman ever did.



Ok, so lets go back to what I said originally, in that case.

You may say that you're talking to all men on equal footing, but your profile genuinely does scream 'desperate for a relationship'. The only reference to friendship in the whole thing is when you say that you have to  be friends before you can have a relationship.

Nothing there makes it look like you are capable of viewing men as anything other than potential lovers, and that seems kinda unattractively dishonest when you are someone who says they just want to be friends in their mails.

I'm not trying to be nasty here-I really do mean what I've just said.




Rule -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:45:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel
Seriously, if you are that desperate to have the friendship first then don't be surprised when you don't get men biting -- Men are capable of making their own friends, while i am sure the will form a friendship with you in a relationship, they want a relationship. If you keep expressing friendship to them and not relationship -- i am not surprised they don't stick around.

Indeed: "let's be friends" = "I do not want to make love to you, I do not want a relationship"

Afraid of men, most certainly.




warmwoman29 -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:46:31 AM)

sblady ... if  this is being nice? I don't need mean ... I think this was the reception I got in the past which made me not return to the forums. And believe! I wasn't nearly as sad back then! I was positive and full of hope back then...




KatyLied -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:47:09 AM)

quote:

After you've developed love over an extended courtship, lived off the land for a winter in remote Saskatchewan, cleaned up after 9 wild dogs and 6 feral cats; how do you feel about collaring ceremony that includes nails through your tits?


You are killin me!    [:D]

Where is that bobcajun?  Did he go and get hisself moderated?  I think the OP is a perfect match.  Is she cool with erectile dysfunction?




Rule -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:47:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: warmwoman29
RULE! You are a trip! Thanks for making me laugh! You seem to think there is a "shop for a man" store outside my door?

Yes.




myotherself -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:48:37 AM)

OP - I'm older than you, and certainly no supermodel, and yet I have made online friends on here and met some lovely men. Yes, you'll meet the marrieds and the 'nilla shagmonsters, but if you persevere you get to strike gold every now and then. I've met 2 men I've had relationships with (and who remain friends) and another who...well...let's wait and see [:)]

If you quit now you guarantee failure. Keep on going and you still have a chance. Only you can choose.





KatyLied -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:48:49 AM)

OP you are such a downer that I would not want to be friends with you.  Yes, friends can help each other during down times, but on the whole they have fun and laughs together, not sit around talking about what a bunch of liars and users and pussy chasers most men are.




FukinTroll -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:49:26 AM)

I'm kinda feeling an E-harmony moment here. 




Musicmystery -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:50:05 AM)

Being a victim is great. It absolves the victim from any responsibility.

Or any solution, but with no ability to respond, a free pass to the pity party.

Unfortunately, not attractive either. But yet another reason one's a victim!

It's a great cycle, and a popular game.




Icarys -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:50:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: warmwoman29

icarys ... how long ago? and under another name? your profile does not exist so I cannot read you


It's been awhile..About a year..I do think I still have your number. Looking.




KatyLied -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:50:19 AM)

<--- needs slurp




FukinTroll -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:51:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

<--- needs slurp


Slurp Slurp lick munch... WOW YUMMY>> Slurp slurp slurp!




Icarys -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:53:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

OP - I'm older than you, and certainly no supermodel, and yet I have made online friends on here and met some lovely men. Yes, you'll meet the marrieds and the 'nilla shagmonsters, but if you persevere you get to strike gold every now and then. I've met 2 men I've had relationships with (and who remain friends) and another who...well...let's wait and see [:)]

If you quit now you guarantee failure. Keep on going and you still have a chance. Only you can choose.



You mean your not the cutest little bunny ever?




KatyLied -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:53:55 AM)

quote:

It's been awhile..About a year..I do think I still have your number. Looking.


[sm=jerry.gif]




zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:54:25 AM)

OP a couple of things. First of all, judging by your profile, your priority is love, with kink second, right? Have you thought about looking on a vanilla site for someone who is looking for the same things you are?

Secondly, I also read your journal entries and every post without exception is negative, negative, negative. It's not hard to see why men (or women for that matter) who have read those entries wouldn't want even so much as friendship. Who is going to want to be friends with someone who in all likelihood will be just as negative offline?

zeph
who met the Master of her dreams here, even though she isn't thin and is actually almost 10 years older than you are [;)]




warmwoman29 -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:55:03 AM)

see now I'm getting condemned from both sides. Some say I'm a fool to want to be friends first and others say I'm being needy and demanding a relationship right away. What gives? Where is the happy medium?






Rule -> RE: Giving up (3/6/2010 9:55:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: warmwoman29
Seriously ... why are you people being so mean to me? I'm not a bad woman. I'm not...

You are all twisted up inside. These people who have responded to you in this thread are well respected contributors to these message boards and have obviously a warm heart for you and given you honest and good advice.

You hang around a bit and see how people are treated who truly because of their behavior are not liked.




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