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Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 7:16:23 AM   
Tayr


Posts: 23
Joined: 6/29/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		So, I'm curious... what kinds of things do you D-types do that seem to work as really good positive reinforcement for the behavior that you want from your sub? What kinds of things do you do in order to reward your sub?

And a question for you s-types... what things work for re-enforcing expected and desired behavior out of you? What kinds of rewards really make you feel special and rewarded?

Obviously, the answers to these questions are largely dependent upon what is trying to be accomplished. But does anybody have any really original, interesting, or highly effective ideas they'd like to share?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 7:18:25 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		"Good girl". 

Sometimes a dinner out.  Frequently a short talk explaining what she did and why/how I liked it.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Tayr)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 7:29:25 AM   
onlyfreelycaged


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		what Steven said... but skip the dinner out... just tie me to a chair.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 7:29:53 AM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
"Good girl". 

Oh, that's the best . . . definitely works for me.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 7:33:00 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		A nice "thank you" never hurts.  

(in reply to Tayr)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 7:37:00 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

what things work for re-enforcing expected and desired behavior out of you?


In the beginning, we went over what His expectations would be, in general terms. As our time together has continued, He has communicated any changes or new expectations, desires, pleasure or displeasure very clearly. if this slave has questions or issues regarding His expectations/desired behavior, she communicates that with Him, asap.

quote:

What kinds of rewards really make you feel special and rewarded?


His smile...THAT look in His eyes..."good girl" and the ever-popular "you may hump Master's leg".

(in reply to Tayr)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 7:39:08 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tayr

So, I'm curious... what kinds of things do you D-types do that seem to work as really good positive reinforcement for the behavior that you want from your sub? What kinds of things do you do in order to reward your sub?

And a question for you s-types... what things work for re-enforcing expected and desired behavior out of you? What kinds of rewards really make you feel special and rewarded?

Obviously, the answers to these questions are largely dependent upon what is trying to be accomplished. But does anybody have any really original, interesting, or highly effective ideas they'd like to share?



All in for the stereotypical cliche "Good girl" (All the cool cats are doing it)

or "You did good..Now close your hole".  Affectionately spoken of course!


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Tayr)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 7:40:11 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

"you may hump Master's leg".


That's a winner lol


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 8:09:02 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Sorry nothing particularly original or interesting.
'Good girl' always warms my heart, and if it's something bigger like conquering a goal he wanted me to attempt, he gives a little 'I'm proud of you' speech and outlines why he's especially happy and proud. I just love hearing praise from him and the thought that I may get it fires me up to do well more than any punishment ever could.

Oh wait...I did think of something more interesting. We're working on motivating me to lose some weight and he told me if I did, then he could physically lift my (still pudgy) ass up while we're in the shower and have sex up against the shower wall. I've been pretty motivated by that as a reward. I try to picture it when i reach for a cookie

< Message edited by lizi -- 3/8/2010 8:15:02 AM >

(in reply to Tayr)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 8:14:15 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tayr

So, I'm curious... what kinds of things do you D-types do that seem to work as really good positive reinforcement for the behavior that you want from your sub? What kinds of things do you do in order to reward your sub?

And a question for you s-types... what things work for re-enforcing expected and desired behavior out of you? What kinds of rewards really make you feel special and rewarded?

Obviously, the answers to these questions are largely dependent upon what is trying to be accomplished. But does anybody have any really original, interesting, or highly effective ideas they'd like to share?



All in for the stereotypical cliche "Good girl" (All the cool cats are doing it)

or "You did good..Now close your hole".  Affectionately spoken of course!



this is absolutely absurd, it should say:
"You did good..Now open your blow hole". (affection optional)


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 8:16:43 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail


quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tayr

So, I'm curious... what kinds of things do you D-types do that seem to work as really good positive reinforcement for the behavior that you want from your sub? What kinds of things do you do in order to reward your sub?

And a question for you s-types... what things work for re-enforcing expected and desired behavior out of you? What kinds of rewards really make you feel special and rewarded?

Obviously, the answers to these questions are largely dependent upon what is trying to be accomplished. But does anybody have any really original, interesting, or highly effective ideas they'd like to share?



All in for the stereotypical cliche "Good girl" (All the cool cats are doing it)

or "You did good..Now close your hole".  Affectionately spoken of course!



this is absolutely absurd, it should say:
"You did good..Now open your blow hole". (affection optional)



What was I thinking...?


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 8:20:43 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		He tells me he loves me. That's the biggest reinforcement. And the fact that he hasn't run screaming from me seeing as I'm at the lowest point in my life financially and I look like Medusa in the morning when I wake up.
Plus he says "good girl". Icarys downplays those words. But he really has no clue what it does to the brain of a sub who craves to please...

_____________________________



(in reply to Tayr)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 8:29:11 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		"Good girl."

Especially kneeling with my head in his lap as he pets my hair.

And all's right with the world.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 8:41:21 AM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		Nothing to add at the moment.  Just posting to Thank the OP for starting this thread. It's refreshing as a topic.

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.


(in reply to Tayr)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 8:48:43 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tayr

So, I'm curious... what kinds of things do you D-types do that seem to work as really good positive reinforcement for the behavior that you want from your sub? What kinds of things do you do in order to reward your sub?

I do nothing. Who wants a sub that cannot self-fulfill her own self-esteem!?

You see, by rewarding a hypothetical sub, the D-type may covertly be implying that s/he is unable to validate her/his own self-worth independently, causing the disintegration of the sub's identity as an autonomous human being and, consequently, spawning a rift in the space-time continuum which would open the floodgates for the Borg to invade our universe...an event which would result in none of us being pretty unique snowflakes anymore.

The consequences are much too painful to bear...even hypothetically.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Tayr)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 9:13:25 AM   
Tayr


Posts: 23
Joined: 6/29/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petmonkey

Nothing to add at the moment.  Just posting to Thank the OP for starting this thread. It's refreshing as a topic.

You're very welcome. I'm looking forward to seeing the ideas that people contribute.

(in reply to petmonkey)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 9:32:35 AM   
Dominasola


Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

I do nothing. Who wants a sub that cannot self-fulfill her own self-esteem!?

You see, by rewarding a hypothetical sub, the D-type may covertly be implying that s/he is unable to validate her/his own self-worth independently, causing the disintegration of the sub's identity as an autonomous human being and, consequently, spawning a rift in the space-time continuum which would open the floodgates for the Borg to invade our universe...an event which would result in none of us being pretty unique snowflakes anymore.

The consequences are much too painful to bear...even hypothetically.



What he's trying to say is that the s-type's desire to please should be in itself reward enough for behaving according to his or her d-type's wishes since he or she should be a completely independent person. Rewarding makes the s-type rely too strongly on his or her d-type for support, which seems to be a no-no these days in the land of authority transfer.

That being said....

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

"Good girl."

Especially kneeling with my head in his lap as he pets my hair.

And all's right with the world.



Although I don't know if I would go so far as to say that this is a *reward* for proper behaviour (to me, the concept of a reward implies an isolated action has occurred, not a constant state of being that is in tune with what my Master wants), this lets me know that he is happy with me and encourages me to be even more in tune with his desires.


< Message edited by Dominasola -- 3/8/2010 9:38:02 AM >

_____________________________

I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.

—Baruch Spinoza

The measure of a man is what he does with power.

—Pittacus

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 9:47:08 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola


quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

"Good girl."

Especially kneeling with my head in his lap as he pets my hair.

And all's right with the world.



Although I don't know if I would go so far as to say that this is a *reward* for proper behaviour (to me, the concept of a reward implies an isolated action has occurred, not a constant state of being that is in tune with what my Master wants), this lets me know that he is happy with me and encourages me to be even more in tune with his desires.



i would say that being my Owner's "Good girl" is my state of being. When he pets me and tells me "Good girl" he is just reinforcing that state of being - that that is what i am, for him, as pleases him.

i don't see that i do anything in particular to earn this reinforcement from my Owner - as much as it i love it - it is, in actuality, that i simply exist for his pleasure.



_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to Dominasola)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 9:49:50 AM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

"Good girl."

Especially kneeling with my head in his lap as he pets my hair.

And all's right with the world.


I like this answer followed by a "Now, let's go shopping!" lol

It could happen!

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/8/2010 9:53:55 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Well for one, I don't want rewards. Rewards would give me excess guilt. no no notta on the rewards factor. bla My reward is YOUR time and energy--dats it. So fucking simple.

Punishment is just plain neglect. Do that and I will a) cry like a baby b) have fits on the floor or c) run away on some rainy night d) punish myself.

endless vicious yummy psychotic circle.

(in reply to DarlingSavage)
Profile   Post #: 20
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