Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Positive reinforcement and reward


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 8:42:31 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
Also, for things like housework, it's nice getting the occasional smack or grab while I'm doing it, not as a reward, just "random acts of sadism" that let me know he's thinking of me.


This I can totally dig.

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 8:43:06 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		"I'm proud of you."
"You have pleased me greatly."



_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 8:46:19 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

SM, actually, there are studies that intermittent reward *does* tend to shape a desired behaviour more effectively than giving a reward every time.


You are quite right, that is why gambling is so addictive...and why I wrote the following two pages back

quote:

rewarding positive behavior, especially if the rewards are not constant is a very strong inducement to good behavior.

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 8:55:15 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc


Depends what you mean by 'purpose'.



Ya think?

quote:

If I make Master happy, reinforcement is an ongoing thing within our relationship anyway, not some random 'well done' pat on the head to make me realise or feel he's noticed. He notices anyway and I know that and trust that, I don't need to be reassured every single time.


This is like that old joke about the lady and the whore...ask the lady if she would sleep with you for a million and when she says yes...ask if she would for $20 and she gets all pissy and ask "what kind of woman do you think I am" the punchline is "we have already established you are a whore, we are just negotiating price" You are with someone who notices when you have done good and does things that show you that, even if it isn't every single time. Pretty much what I have been saying all along but if I post it, you have to piss on it.

quote:

Good, clear communication rocks as an effective way of getting something done that he wants done, his way.


And we all know how much I despise good, clear communication!

quote:

If Master has to make me feel groovy by formulating some little sentance or reward, then to me, that's manipulating.


Which goes back to your rather obvious point about purpose, if the goal is positive and uplifting, the purpose is good and well I don't think I even have to bother saying more about that.

quote:

When we 'reinforce' whatever emotion we are feeling to each other, he expects done spontaneously and because of love. Not just for a feelgood factor.

the.dark


Oh, now I understand...well one day perhaps the rest of us pathetic mortals will stop doing it just for the feel good factor and learn how to do that love stuff that so escapes me and others here.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 9:11:44 AM   
Falkenstein


Posts: 187
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tayr

So, I'm curious... what kinds of things do you D-types do that seem to work as really good positive reinforcement for the behavior that you want from your sub? What kinds of things do you do in order to reward your sub?

And a question for you s-types... what things work for re-enforcing expected and desired behavior out of you? What kinds of rewards really make you feel special and rewarded?

Obviously, the answers to these questions are largely dependent upon what is trying to be accomplished. But does anybody have any really original, interesting, or highly effective ideas they'd like to share?



I prefer subs born in the year of the dog. They are so easy to please. I just buy a tennis ball and when they do good I break out the ball and say "You want the ball? You want the ball?" then throw it. They come back with the ball just waggen their asses.



It is OK, but not if you live in a high rise, then the tennis ball may go through a window and your sub jump after....

It is true, I saw it in a German advertisment for an alcohol-free beer!

_____________________________

Henry,

Part of that power which still
Produceth good, whilst ever scheming ill.

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 9:17:33 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
This is like that old joke about the lady and the whore...ask the lady if she would sleep with you for a million and when she says yes...ask if she would for $20 and she gets all pissy and ask "what kind of woman do you think I am" the punchline is "we have already established you are a whore, we are just negotiating price" You are with someone who notices when you have done good and does things that show you that, even if it isn't every single time. Pretty much what I have been saying all along but if I post it, you have to piss on it.

Where have I pissed on anything you have said on this? *confused here.

quote:

Which goes back to your rather obvious point about purpose, if the goal is positive and uplifting, the purpose is good and well I don't think I even have to bother saying more about that.


I'd expand that not all things done purposefully rocks.  I don't dig insincere 'good girls' (using the easiest example) just for the sake of reinforcing.  Now it might seem that it's coming from a good place, but for me, it's not.  That's the equivalent to buy flowers on valentines day.  But like I said, that's just me. 

quote:


Oh, now I understand...well one day perhaps the rest of us pathetic mortals will stop doing it just for the feel good factor and learn how to do that love stuff that so escapes me and others here.


OK then!
In all seriousness though Michael, I am under the impression you are more focused that it's us/me responding, than what's being said.  It's all cool... but just who is attempting to piss on who here?

the.dark.

< Message edited by RCdc -- 3/9/2010 9:18:59 AM >

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 9:20:47 AM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		Far out-you finally got it right-you can go pee now.

_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to Tayr)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 9:32:55 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		"Good girl." ...."What's that girl? What? There's a fire at the old mill?....Oh no!"

I say something like that was cool or nice. Or I continue to hang out with them.

My company is enough of a reward for any woman. I don't tend to hang around people that "displease" me.

Life is way too fucking short.

I don't make a big deal out of when people do exactly what they are supposed to or what is anticipated.


But no, this is the big and wonderful world of bdsm!!!....Where all laws of human interaction cease to exist once you step into this world.


"Goddammit!!! subsusie, come down here this minute!!!"...As she floats off ignoring all laws of gravity.

_____________________________



(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 9:43:29 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
Also, for things like housework, it's nice getting the occasional smack or grab while I'm doing it, not as a reward, just "random acts of sadism" that let me know he's thinking of me.


The second most important disclosure I made to beth was that I was (am) a 'random gratuitous groper'. I grab whatever strikes my fancy, under any circumstance, in any venue. Fortunately being the person she is, beth enjoys it. (I guess that points to a dilemma for some dominants. If she enjoys it should I continue to do it, or withhold it and only grope as a 'reward'? Discuss...)

Me - I'm going to keep groping and enjoy it, 'submitting' to serving beth in this regard. However, my groping tic is compatible with beth's 'gratuitous flashing' predilection. Again - I am indulgent, suffer through, and don't punish her for not asking permission before she exposes herself to me. I'm a doormat in that regard.

A normal day around our place is full of random flashing and groping, sometimes leading to random gratuitous spankings and pinching, frequently leading to random gratuitous sex. If anything, it's gotten worse over time. It's disgusting - just ask Simply Michael or WyldHrt, they have to put up with it every time they visit.

Oh - the first and most important disclosure? I'm a sadist.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 9:49:35 AM   
littlegirlangel


Posts: 31
Joined: 9/17/2009
Status: offline 		well I had a hard time calling Daddy "Daddy" and he knew he couldn't push the issue because of past stuff but he would come up and tell me, "it would make me happy if you used Daddy more often" and he kind of fed that whole, "need to please" in me and I worked on it and now it's easier to do. He does that for a lot of things, tells me how it would please him, make him happy if I would attempt.
I also get lots of hugs and good girls too when I do well and I get lots of thank yous. Those go a long way.

(in reply to Tayr)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 10:37:40 AM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy


My company is enough of a reward for any woman. I don't tend to hang around people that "displease" me.

Life is way too fucking short.

I don't make a big deal out of when people do exactly what they are supposed to or what is anticipated.



Sometimes all it takes to displease someone is to exist. There is a best by date and it is going to go off with some people because that is what they are into a sort conveyor belt, like those sushi places where the dishes go round and you pick what you want as it rolls by.

Being displeased is often enough grounds for dismissal isnt it? Sometimes the displeasure actually has very little to do with the other but will get the blame for it and pay the cost at times as well.

The person being kicked to the side is better off without someone like that anyway. Way too much egg shell walking that is not going to get pulled off for more than a few days likely.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 11:05:14 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy


My company is enough of a reward for any woman. I don't tend to hang around people that "displease" me.

Life is way too fucking short.

I don't make a big deal out of when people do exactly what they are supposed to or what is anticipated.



Sometimes all it takes to displease someone is to exist. There is a best by date and it is going to go off with some people because that is what they are into a sort conveyor belt, like those sushi places where the dishes go round and you pick what you want as it rolls by.

Being displeased is often enough grounds for dismissal isnt it? Sometimes the displeasure actually has very little to do with the other but will get the blame for it and pay the cost at times as well.

The person being kicked to the side is better off without someone like that anyway. Way too much egg shell walking that is not going to get pulled off for more than a few days likely.


So many people love to praise the conveyor belt. Why thank you great conveyor belt, provider of uncooked fish for doing exactly what you do. All of the praise or chastising won't stop the conveyor belt from doing it's thing.

But if one is wise they will look beyond the conveyor belt and actually dig the person that is responsible for the making of the sushi....Too many out here praise the conveyor belt and disregard the chef.

http://www.sushischool.net/

_____________________________



(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 11:11:02 AM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		~FR~

Isn't holding on to her hair good and tight while she is smoking chod positive reinforcement enough?


_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 11:11:17 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

A normal day around our place is full of random flashing and groping, sometimes leading to random gratuitous spankings and pinching, frequently leading to random gratuitous sex. If anything, it's gotten worse over time. It's disgusting - just ask Simply Michael or WyldHrt, they have to put up with it every time they visit.

Oh - the first and most important disclosure? I'm a sadist.


Trust me, he isn't kidding!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 11:21:35 AM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

So many people love to praise the conveyor belt. Why thank you great conveyor belt, provider of uncooked fish for doing exactly what you do. All of the praise or chastising won't stop the conveyor belt from doing it's thing.

But if one is wise they will look beyond the conveyor belt and actually dig the person that is responsible for the making of the sushi....Too many out here praise the conveyor belt and disregard the chef.

http://www.sushischool.net/


Perhaps one day the chef would be enough and the urge for the conveyor belts of the world will be superseded by an unending desire for the chef


_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 11:51:39 AM   
Nslavu


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/1/2010
Status: offline 		One growing thread full of self affirming style reinforcement. You needy freaks.







(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 12:07:21 PM   
Frankseas


Posts: 61
Joined: 1/16/2010
Status: offline 		I think we all need the feel for rewards Masters and slaves. Like when my slave would call me Master in public with out thinking about it. "Thank you my dear slave!"

And of course her rewards other than praises or doing things in public that she likes to do was doing the unexpected at the right times. Such as when she was cooking our meal for us and being a bit "grumpy" about it. Well grabbing her hair in a good grip and giving her soft backside several strong smacks led to another type of cooking!

Damn "slave" your in need of more discipline come with me to the bedroom. Sorry but its going to be long and hard for you but you will get the point! Several times over and over!! Spontaneous rewards are great too!

(in reply to Nslavu)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 12:43:53 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		when I was dating vanilla we never did anything spontaneous and she never did anything to please me.

It only happens in the wonderful world of bdsm.

_____________________________



(in reply to Frankseas)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 12:44:34 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		If orgasms are denied/controlled, the chance to come is a great motivator.  

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to Tayr)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Positive reinforcement and reward - 3/9/2010 12:45:28 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		My rewards come when my Sir tells me he wouldn't swope me for a goat - or a herd of goats, depending on how pleasing i have been at that particular time.


I have to add that i'm not sure what he would do with a herd of goats, but that's another topic all together.

(in reply to Frankseas)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094