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Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 11:00:30 AM   
slaveladyj


Posts: 161
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship? Sir, Master, Mistress, Ma'am, or by their first names. I'm speaking with a dominate male, and I address him as sir, a sign of respect in my mind. He tells me to call him by his first name. To me, I don't know him that well, so that's disrespectful. I'm just wondering how others on the bottom feel about this.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 11:04:24 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Call him what he asks to be called.

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 11:05:20 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		From a Master's point of view...if he's asked for it, he might see it as disrespectful that you DON'T. Just my thought.

Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 11:11:54 AM   
missmary52061


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/28/2004
Status: offline 		i too address Dominants i don't know as sir, but if He asks me to address him by his first name, i do so because it is what He wishes...
 
missmary

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 11:12:50 AM   
Jane2376


Posts: 23
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		As far as ettiquette is concerned, if he is calling you by your first name I see no reason why you shouldn't call him by his.  Obviously when you mix in respect and emotions, things change.  My personal belief is that if you are a sub you should do what your dom asks of you, sometimes it might not make sense to you, but it's what he wants.  

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 11:17:26 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship?


With my first dom it was always Master because that's what he wanted. Hubby doesn't like that so it's just his first name.  Occassionally i call Him Sir when playing but He doesn't require it.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 11:23:04 AM   
slaveladyj


Posts: 161
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		Its not that I won't call him what he wants to be called. It's just that in my mind, using first names, or at least me calling him by name, puts us on more of an equal footing. It could just be my own mind, but you call friends by name, co-workers, children acquaintances by first names. To me, it is more respectful to address him as sir, no matter how well you know him or don't know him.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 11:32:18 AM   
Jane2376


Posts: 23
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		I guess it depends how involved you are with this person. If he is actually someone you are currently, or are considerign playing with then I think you hit the nail on the head in your last post, you said "in my mind", I think being a sub isn't necesarily about how things work in your mind, not to say he shouldn't take your opinion into consideration.  Along that line if it is something that you cringe at everytime you do and really breaks your head space, then I'd talk to him about it.

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 11:44:25 AM   
Cristalin


Posts: 84
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		in the begining He was my mentor...He told me i can call Him as i wish...but His name is hard to pronunciate for me...so very soon i started to call Him Master...he was so pleased that it wasn`t something He required, but a natural need of mine, to adress Him with respect....it`s been a while ago but remembering those times still brings a warm smile on my face

(in reply to Jane2376)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 11:44:34 AM   
KreativeKontrol


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline 		There are as many tastes that a Dom has, as Doms - the same goes for subs thus I can only speak for myself. I personally do not need a "Sir" or a "Master" from my sub. she may call me by my first name. As I am secure in my position as Dom I don't need titles. - but that's me - the next could just as well say He/She wants all of it. The best thing I could recomend - if you really respect a Dom - is address Him/Her as They wish.

_____________________________

Kreative Kontrol
Nothing is more American than a Cowboy and Country Music.

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 11:46:03 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveladyj
Its not that I won't call him what he wants to be called. It's just that in my mind, using first names, or at least me calling him by name, puts us on more of an equal footing. It could just be my own mind, but you call friends by name, co-workers, children acquaintances by first names. To me, it is more respectful to address him as sir, no matter how well you know him or don't know him.

Let's put it in this perspective- you're calling him what he wants to be called.  You're giving authority over that to him and obeying that authority.

It's also just plain courteous in general to call someone what they prefer to be called by- as long as what they prefer does NOT assume a relationship that is not there.  If you refuse his express preferences, you're disrespecting him and saying that how you feel is more important than his own feelings about his own name.

To me dominance is a personal relationship orientation, not a social status.  Don't presume a relationship that doesn't exist just because it doesn't give you that yummy sub fuzzy feeling.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 12:11:17 PM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		i'ld have a hard time with that.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 12:49:42 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveladyj

What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship?


In whatever way that pleases Him.  It doesn't matter if this slave is comfortable with it or not~if He says "Bark!", this slave says "WOOF!", loud and proud! 

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 1:46:42 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Well i call my Master, Master because it is what is natural for me to do so. if we are in a place where i cannot call him Master i call him by his given name.  I would not call him sir he got enough of that in the service.  Other Dom's i call by first name unless Master tells me otherwise.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 2:08:18 PM   
SirCumsSlut


Posts: 433
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline 		For Sir and i, whether we are out in vanilla public or the privacy of our home, i always have and always will call him Sir.  Have done so since Sir collared me 9 years ago....
In the beginning (before collar) i addressed him by his given name as he did with me.......It was a way to put us on equal ground, but a more relaxed way for He and i to get to know one another....
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveladyj

What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship? Sir, Master, Mistress, Ma'am, or by their first names. I'm speaking with a dominate male, and I address him as sir, a sign of respect in my mind. He tells me to call him by his first name. To me, I don't know him that well, so that's disrespectful. I'm just wondering how others on the bottom feel about this.

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 3:27:08 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveladyj

What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship?


In whatever way that pleases Him.  It doesn't matter if this slave is comfortable with it or not~if He says "Bark!", this slave says "WOOF!", loud and proud! 


Ha!  i relate to that!! 

To the OP - i agree with what others have said - if he wants to be called by name, then call him by name.  If it makes you uncomfortable, tell him so you can talk through it.  This will help him understand your mind, and will help you understand his directive.

. 


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 3:41:56 PM   
fullofgrace


Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline 		He and i have names we address each other by, but He (as someone else mentioned) got enough of the 'sir' stuff in the military and has never really shown a proclivity towards "master." i would call Him whatever He wanted to be called, however.


_____________________________

i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 4:34:15 PM   
Wolfspet


Posts: 143
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline 		Wolf is just that..Wolf.  Sometimes in a S&M play session it is Master, others it is "LordHigh Fuzzybutt" (Yes, I do call him that, lol)

It is between the two of you.

(in reply to fullofgrace)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 5:04:17 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I usually start off the relationship with "Yo baby, Yo baby!"




After I regain consciousness, I usually ask her what she'd RATHER prefer.

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question for subs/slaves - 3/31/2006 6:27:43 PM   
ivorylace


Posts: 56
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveladyj

What do you feel is the proper way to address the dominate person in your relationship? Sir, Master, Mistress, Ma'am, or by their first names. I'm speaking with a dominate male, and I address him as sir, a sign of respect in my mind. He tells me to call him by his first name. To me, I don't know him that well, so that's disrespectful. I'm just wondering how others on the bottom feel about this.


Address Him/Her in the form they ask you to do so, not doing so is what will be disrespectful.

~ lace

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 20
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