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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/14/2010 6:29:32 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I'd describe myself as a masochist, but that doesn't mean I love pain for the sake of it...if that makes sense!

For me, it's the sexual response to pain that works for me. Pain just hurts - no way around it. But it also gets me wet. And I go off to subspace, which is lovely. In fact, I can't orgasm without some pain being involved.

So when I'm with a sadist, my reactions should be pretty much what he's looking for. I'll beg him to stop, I'll cry, moan, whimper and all that good stuff and I will absolutely mean it at that moment, but I'll also be massively sexually aroused. And later on I will touch the welts and bruises, and feel the ache, and be aroused all over again


This sounds like me.  I don't ask or beg for anything to stop usually, mostly due to being incredibly incoherent pretty quickly.  It is all I can do to process the pain and get through what is happening to me.  I don't have space in my brain to realize I am enjoying it.  I don't have the presence of mind to know that I am wet or subspacing or anything else.  The times I seem to have gone to subspace, I had  no clue I was there until time gaps got filled in later with things I still don't recall.  I am just surviving the experience.  I don't want him to stop partly because I know what each strike means to him and how much it is pleasing him, but inside I am just doing all kinds of mental gymnastics to cope.

I have told him before that I don't like pain and he laughs.  To my subjective experience, I don't.  To his, he is getting to play heavy and dark and also getting the nasty need of hearing me suffer all at the same time.  He gets to see me in a state that I am not even able to access exists for me (ie: arousal from the pain).  He loves it.  He says it's like getting to torture someone against their will and and have them love it too.  It's a win/win.  I don't get my own reaction, so if this makes no sense then I apologize.  I will just say that my lack of enjoyment on at least some level heats him up, but he wouldn't want to play with someone who couldn't get into those depths with him either.  He needs some balance of both.

lovingpet 

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/14/2010 6:30:41 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedbyPF

How funny... My Master and I were just talking about something similar the other night. I'm not a maso. I don't enjoy pain. I think I have found my way into subspace twice. My Master is a sadist. Nothing gets him hotter than making me scream in agony and cry hysterically. There isn't a thought really of "what I can take." He goes until he's decided he is done.

As I said, not a maso, no sub space. I feel every bit of aganozing torment. Yet, I need it. I desperately need him to take me, use me, and beat me without any regard for my "enjoyment", or for me. THAT makes me wet and hot! However, honestly, when it's happening, I don't even realize I'm wet. I don't realize it until he stops for a few minutes and fingers me or some such thing and suddenly I'm like... omg... I'm crazy wet!

When he starts I'm scared, when he's in the midst I'm desperate for it stop, when it stops I can't wait for him to do it again. I need it, and crave it, and love it, and hate it all at the same time. I need to be that stripped down. I need to suffer that torment for him. I need to scream until I'm hoarse because he revels in it.

So when I read about masochists, and subspace etc I sometimes wonder how I fit into all of this since I don't come across very many people like me who hate it with all they are and yet couldn't bear anything else.

I guess that doesn't answer much of your question, but it's what I've got, and I can tell you that my Master, who is all frickin sadist, finds it entirely to his liking.
~s




Wanted to quote this because this so well describes my interaction with the Sadist/Dominant that i used to play with. Absolutely petrified when He and i started, wanting him to finish, but dripping wet although i hated the pain, never subspaced, etc.

heartfelt

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/14/2010 6:41:32 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		I have a very deep core understanding of my sadistic component.

It's a Domination impulse. I am totally controlling the reactions and much of the feelings of someone I top to torment. When I top to pleasure-it's more of a service top mindset. But I do that more because I care more about a relationship than I do for myself.

Heck,I don't even care if I get off a lot of the time-I'm like a kid playing with an interesting toy-seeing what I can do and not break it beyond functionality. I have a strange relationship with romance. I believe it should be a well rounded thing-so a person I associate with in meangful ways should be as comfortable and passionate about the chaos side as she is about order.

There must be a match of minds, creating a delightful conspiracy. Devils dance with angels in perfect harmony-duality suffers a whimpering death. There is always a third side.




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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/14/2010 6:41:47 PM   
alhamdullilah


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

2)  QUESTIONS: 

a)  If, as a masso, one's goal is "misery", then finding the most super-duper, evil, bastard of a Sadist that ever walked the earth would only result in the masso's HAPPINESS and contradicting their goal of "misery", yes/no? 

b)  As a masso, wouldn't your pairing with said super-duper, evil, bastard of a Sadist that ever walked the earth  still result in the Sadist being unfulfilled and left to playing the role of Sadist, because YOU (as a masso) would ENJOY every bit of torment and torture?

Seems like a "no win" scenario for either of you, as the Sadist can't legally torture the unwilling/non-consenting, and the masso (if truly desiring misery) is best left to NEVER FINDING a truly evil Sadist; ensuring a life of unfulfilled misery for the masso... yes/no???






I'm not a Sadist, of course, except when forcing my kids to clean up their mess, which I usually end up doing myself so I suck at it. But I think the distinction has to be made between being a Sadist or masochist in terms of causing or receiving physical pain versus causing or enduring general dissatisfaction. Does the Sadist really become disappointed if the masochist is getting what he or she ultimately desires? Is the masochist actually less fulfilled because he or she is getting the physical sensation he or she desires? Perhaps I misunderstood but that's what I understood and I think these seem to me very separate matters. There is, to begin with, a distinction between masochist and submissive. I don't presume that one who identifies as a masochist also identifies as a submissive with a need to be pleasing. Likewise, a Sadist may not require - as I think has been addressed already - anything beyond the momentary sensory discomfort that he or she creates.

I do agree that it's an interesting conundrum. I loathe to think of a masochist as one who seeks to experience generalized misery, rather than physical suffering, but I might fall into the category of one who is attracted to the experience of suffering that goes beyond the physical... fear, for example. So, I think if we are talking about psychological Sadism, psychological masochism, the problem is a more likely possibility. But even then, I would suggest, this isn't generalized suffering. In fact, I believe that if you have a Sadist who desires to create a general state of unhappiness and a masochist who desires to live in a general state of unhappiness, you have two people who wouldn't be fulfilled under ANY circumstance, in any coupling!

Thank you for posting a thoughtful topic to chime in on. When I read the title of the thread, I thought, "Damn, why didn't I think to put that on my profile!" Is it too late??

-llilah

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/14/2010 6:49:50 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

quote:

The challenges, as I'd see them, would be as follows:

a) Under the guise of this dynamic (and in a LEGAL sense), if one is "unwilling", then consent has NOT been given.


Simple semantics here. Change "unwilling" to "reluctant" and not only do you have a better definition of the situation in many fetish dynamics but it all fits together. One can easily consent to something that they are reluctant to do or to have done to them.



Now THAT is an interesting twist!  Hmmm... "reluctant".




I would agree with this.

I've discussed this a few times, specifically in two threads which you might enjoy reading:




- LA


Off for some reading, then...

Edited to add the FIRST link isn't working?



< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 3/14/2010 6:51:43 PM >

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/14/2010 7:07:51 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Off for some reading, then...

Edited to add the FIRST link isn't working?




Adjusting to Google Chrome ;-)



- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 3/14/2010 7:08:07 PM >

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/14/2010 8:07:07 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
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Status: offline 		~~~Fsst reply~~~
I am definitely a masochist. But sadism doesn't have to be “just” physical pain. S. understands that I like pain----and he gives me enough to tease. But his style of sadism is more of the mental kind when he is dealing with me. He knows I hate a certain thing, and he makes me love it when it is happening. It is after that I get twisted up about t, and he laughs..................the fucker tells me how he gives physical pain to other subs---but I am only given the mind fuck. He is good at it!

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/14/2010 8:35:58 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		I'm a sadist and I LOVE my masochist! Having her to play with is my lifelong fantasy fulfilled.

I'm too happy having fun and enjoying myself to worry about fitting in to someone else's analysis.

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/14/2010 10:08:15 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		It is NOT HAPPINESS that defines sadomasochism, suffering does. And therein lies your answer. Your questions do not apply to sadism and masochism. They apply to mental health and happiness not S&M. They are invalid questions posed incorrectly against sadomasochism so there is no answer... it is like asking "does 2+2 = red or does 2+2 = hamburger?".

The questions have NOTING to do with sexual sadism, be it arbitrarily ethical or otherwise. There are several kinds of sadism and masochism, including personality disorders. Someone who *is* submissive because of a personality trait may not be *a* submissive in a BDSD relationship role. Someone with a Sadistic Personality disorder is a “sadist” and he may enjoy torturing non-consenting partners until they are “miserable”. However, he is not a "sexual sadist” who enjoys practicing consensual sadomasochism which usually makes both partners quite happy and satisfied.

The proposition that a “masso's, goal is "misery"” is false. Suffering is not misery. Suffering may lead to misery but suffering does not always lead to misery. Little or none of what a sexual masochist endures (suffers) leads to unhappiness or distress (misery).

I think the “super-duper, evil, bastard” portrait of a sexual sadist is incorrect and does not allow for the true motives and passions that drive the dynamics in sadomasochism as it applies to BDSM. I am a “super-duper, evil, bastard” and I have imposed humiliation and suffering on non-consenting strangers that were assholes... and I have done it at great risk in public and private. While I was forcing a stranger to their knees in public to shout his apology and beg forgiveness or while I was engaged in face slapping an errant biker or while tying the burglar we caught to a pick-nick table in the front yard so all our neighbors could torture him for answers . . . I did not feel sexual arousal or sadomasochistic pleasures and I am pretty sure any observer would have thought those to be sadistic acts.

Sadism and sexual sadism are two different dynamics with different triggers even though both qualify the practitioner as a "Sadist". This is where so many get confused and questions like these exploit the semantics. Serial killers who torture their “miserable” victims before murdering them are “sadists”. I am a “sadist” and I want my partner to live and suffer in delicious agony because it makes us both happy.

In my experience, I have been paired with non masochist and masochist. I have learned that being paired with a masochist is a win/win and our passions and pleasures reach heights unobtainable otherwise. I built this web site in tribute to the story of one such masochist in my life. slavechic.com

quote:


QUESTIONS:
a) If, as a masso, one's goal is "misery", then finding the most super-duper, evil, bastard of a Sadist that ever walked the earth would only result in the masso's HAPPINESS and contradicting their goal of "misery", yes/no?
Yes, the maso would someone who enjoyed their suffering as much as they did.

b) As a masso, wouldn't your pairing with said super-duper, evil, bastard of a Sadist that ever walked the earth still result in the Sadist being unfulfilled and left to playing the role of Sadist, because YOU (as a masso) would ENJOY every bit of torment and torture?

Seems like a "no win" scenario for either of you, as the Sadist can't legally torture the unwilling/non-consenting, and the masso (if truly desiring misery) is best left to NEVER FINDING a truly evil Sadist; ensuring a life of unfulfilled misery for the masso... yes/no???



References

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/suffer
v. suf·fered, suf·fer·ing, suf·fers

1.To feel pain or distress; sustain loss, injury, harm, or punishment.
2.To tolerate or endure evil, injury, pain, or death.
3.To appear at a disadvantage:
4.To undergo or sustain
5.To experience; undergo:
6.To endure or bear;
7.To permit; allow:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/misery
mis·er·y (mĭz'ə-rē)
n. pl. mis·er·ies

1.The state of suffering and want as a result of physical circumstances or extreme poverty.
2.Mental or emotional unhappiness or distress:
3.A cause or source of suffering.
4.Informal - A physical ache or ailment.

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/15/2010 1:07:07 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedbyPF

How funny... My Master and I were just talking about something similar the other night. I'm not a maso. I don't enjoy pain. I think I have found my way into subspace twice. My Master is a sadist. Nothing gets him hotter than making me scream in agony and cry hysterically. There isn't a thought really of "what I can take." He goes until he's decided he is done.

As I said, not a maso, no sub space. I feel every bit of aganozing torment. Yet, I need it. I desperately need him to take me, use me, and beat me without any regard for my "enjoyment", or for me. THAT makes me wet and hot! However, honestly, when it's happening, I don't even realize I'm wet. I don't realize it until he stops for a few minutes and fingers me or some such thing and suddenly I'm like... omg... I'm crazy wet!

When he starts I'm scared, when he's in the midst I'm desperate for it stop, when it stops I can't wait for him to do it again. I need it, and crave it, and love it, and hate it all at the same time. I need to be that stripped down. I need to suffer that torment for him. I need to scream until I'm hoarse because he revels in it.

So when I read about masochists, and subspace etc I sometimes wonder how I fit into all of this since I don't come across very many people like me who hate it with all they are and yet couldn't bear anything else.

I guess that doesn't answer much of your question, but it's what I've got, and I can tell you that my Master, who is all frickin sadist, finds it entirely to his liking.
~s




This entire thing you've written is me exactly. You've worded it better than I ever could. Thank you.

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/15/2010 1:22:15 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet


This sounds like me.  I don't ask or beg for anything to stop usually, mostly due to being incredibly incoherent pretty quickly.  It is all I can do to process the pain and get through what is happening to me.  I don't have space in my brain to realize I am enjoying it.  I don't have the presence of mind to know that I am wet or subspacing or anything else.  The times I seem to have gone to subspace, I had  no clue I was there until time gaps got filled in later with things I still don't recall.  I am just surviving the experience.  I don't want him to stop partly because I know what each strike means to him and how much it is pleasing him, but inside I am just doing all kinds of mental gymnastics to cope.

I have told him before that I don't like pain and he laughs.  To my subjective experience, I don't.  To his, he is getting to play heavy and dark and also getting the nasty need of hearing me suffer all at the same time.  He gets to see me in a state that I am not even able to access exists for me (ie: arousal from the pain).  He loves it.  He says it's like getting to torture someone against their will and and have them love it too.  It's a win/win.  I don't get my own reaction, so if this makes no sense then I apologize.  I will just say that my lack of enjoyment on at least some level heats him up, but he wouldn't want to play with someone who couldn't get into those depths with him either.  He needs some balance of both.

lovingpet 


omg lovingpet - you been peeking in my brain?!

I totally understand what you say because that's how I feel too! I spend so much of my time during play trying to deal with the pain, and just when I think I've got it sussed, he does something different so I have to start all over again. It's exhausting, exhilirating and bloody painful!

Gotta love those sadists

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/15/2010 6:27:08 AM   
ownedbyPF


Posts: 126
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline 		hi heartfelt, thanks for letting me know you understood and had experienced this type of thing!

aileen... I read what you posted on the other thread in regards to this and thought.. oh! She said it so much more succinctly!
~s

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/15/2010 8:31:48 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet


This sounds like me.  I don't ask or beg for anything to stop usually, mostly due to being incredibly incoherent pretty quickly.  It is all I can do to process the pain and get through what is happening to me.  I don't have space in my brain to realize I am enjoying it.  I don't have the presence of mind to know that I am wet or subspacing or anything else.  The times I seem to have gone to subspace, I had  no clue I was there until time gaps got filled in later with things I still don't recall.  I am just surviving the experience.  I don't want him to stop partly because I know what each strike means to him and how much it is pleasing him, but inside I am just doing all kinds of mental gymnastics to cope.

I have told him before that I don't like pain and he laughs.  To my subjective experience, I don't.  To his, he is getting to play heavy and dark and also getting the nasty need of hearing me suffer all at the same time.  He gets to see me in a state that I am not even able to access exists for me (ie: arousal from the pain).  He loves it.  He says it's like getting to torture someone against their will and and have them love it too.  It's a win/win.  I don't get my own reaction, so if this makes no sense then I apologize.  I will just say that my lack of enjoyment on at least some level heats him up, but he wouldn't want to play with someone who couldn't get into those depths with him either.  He needs some balance of both.

lovingpet 


omg lovingpet - you been peeking in my brain?!

I totally understand what you say because that's how I feel too! I spend so much of my time during play trying to deal with the pain, and just when I think I've got it sussed, he does something different so I have to start all over again. It's exhausting, exhilirating and bloody painful!

Gotta love those sadists


Maybe it's because I'm part fluffy bunny myself

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/15/2010 8:43:29 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

go far enough and even a maso will cry

i love it when i hear a maso say they can take anything

i have a thick leather work belt that says they can't


Then you haven't met some of the masochists I have!
I know one sparrow of a girl that would laugh at your belt no matter how hard you hit her with it.
Its true that many people think they can take more than they actually can but when you meet an out and out masochist you can end up exhausted and knowing you can't go on or you will break them physically.

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/15/2010 8:57:47 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		I am only a sadist under certain conditions. If I am beating someone who is just laying there and not responding, I start to wonder what I'm doing. I derive no pleasure from someone grunting 'thank you Ma'am' I put my hand up and say I prefer those that don't really like pain but enjoy pain for me. Writhing, struggling, begging and pleading just turns something on in my head. Its not a selfish feeling but a connection with the person I am beating.
I did some medical play on Saturday night with my favorite needle bunny. Her eyes dilate, her skin breaks out in a cool sweat and the mixture of pain sends her into a very wonderful sub space/head space. This space is reactive and teams up with my sadism. She's not gone, she has joined me and together its like a pleasurable dance.

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/15/2010 9:27:58 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am a maso sub.. but I am also a sadist. I CAN be the nice fluffy consensual kind that enjoys it when my partner wants some maso play. For me this is just another form of giving people what they want. But, I am also the not so fluffy, beat the shit out of you because you pissed me off sort of sadist. I keep that one in check. In my past I might have put myself into situations where I got to vent that inner sadist. And yeah.. if they did not enjoy it YAY! It made me joyous to hurt someone.
The fluffy sadist in me loves hurting people to make them happy. The evil sadist in me was not more satisfying because that rush was short-lived. Ultimately I prefer the the feelings of combined sadism and care because it lasts longer.

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/15/2010 10:55:38 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

go far enough and even a maso will cry

i love it when i hear a maso say they can take anything

i have a thick leather work belt that says they can't


Then you haven't met some of the masochists I have!
I know one sparrow of a girl that would laugh at your belt no matter how hard you hit her with it.
Its true that many people think they can take more than they actually can but when you meet an out and out masochist you can end up exhausted and knowing you can't go on or you will break them physically.



eventually everyone has a breaking point

you assume a scene like setting where she is strung up and beat but i could take a break and leave her hanging there and apply other forms of discomfort

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/15/2010 12:40:31 PM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

go far enough and even a maso will cry

i love it when i hear a maso say they can take anything

i have a thick leather work belt that says they can't


Then you haven't met some of the masochists I have!
I know one sparrow of a girl that would laugh at your belt no matter how hard you hit her with it.
Its true that many people think they can take more than they actually can but when you meet an out and out masochist you can end up exhausted and knowing you can't go on or you will break them physically.



eventually everyone has a breaking point

you assume a scene like setting where she is strung up and beat but i could take a break and leave her hanging there and apply other forms of discomfort

Your the one that mentioned the belt and I said nothing about stringing up.
I have known masochists that will try and push you beyond your safe limits. I'm not talking submissive masochist here, Im talking about the masochists that see pain as a challenge and their resistance to feeling pain can go weigh beyond what any reasonable sadist is willing to give.
I have also known of one particular masochist on the scene that suffers from dysautonomia (a condition where the person feels no physical pain), an accident waiting to happen with an over zealous sadist.

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RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/15/2010 12:48:05 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I gotta agree with heartfeltsub, wish I had seen this thread before I posted elsewhere, kinda similarly.

heartfeltsub
quote:

i am remembering what Lucky Albatross used to say on threads like this, that a service submissive who is not a masochist, but gets pleasure from serving his/her Master/Dominant is an excellent match for a Sadist. They don't enjoy the pain, but do get some of their needs to serve met in submitting to pain that they don't like in service to another.


quote:

The sadist, a true one (not play) would not fully enjoy the masochist in this case.


Therefore, to call me the sicko for prefering this type of sadist, is wrong. In that case, I would call those who do enjoy pain (masochists) just as sick--but I won't. But, I am sicko, lol who cares.

quote:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/misery
mis·er·y (mĭz'ə-rē)
n. pl. mis·er·ies

1.The state of suffering and want as a result of physical circumstances or extreme poverty.
2.Mental or emotional unhappiness or distress:
3.A cause or source of suffering.
4.Informal - A physical ache or ailment.


and what is wrong with that? lol If I get off on emotional distress, suffering (some even do it to themselves). Very hard to explain anyways.

quote:

I have also known of one particular masochist on the scene that suffers from dysautonomia (a condition where the person feels no physical pain), an accident waiting to happen with an over zealous sadist.
In that case, the sadist is never truly satiated, the end result is never given. Yes, dangerous.

< Message edited by came4U -- 3/15/2010 1:02:13 PM >

_____________________________

It hurts.....that you call me a masochist


(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Calling All SADISTS ! ! ! - 3/15/2010 1:47:15 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

It is NOT HAPPINESS that defines sadomasochism, suffering does. And therein lies your answer. Your questions do not apply to sadism and masochism. They apply to mental health and happiness not S&M. They are invalid questions posed incorrectly against sadomasochism so there is no answer... it is like asking "does 2+2 = red or does 2+2 = hamburger?".

The questions have NOTING to do with sexual sadism, be it arbitrarily ethical or otherwise. There are several kinds of sadism and masochism, including personality disorders. Someone who *is* submissive because of a personality trait may not be *a* submissive in a BDSD relationship role. Someone with a Sadistic Personality disorder is a “sadist” and he may enjoy torturing non-consenting partners until they are “miserable”. However, he is not a "sexual sadist” who enjoys practicing consensual sadomasochism which usually makes both partners quite happy and satisfied.

The proposition that a “masso's, goal is "misery"” is false. Suffering is not misery. Suffering may lead to misery but suffering does not always lead to misery. Little or none of what a sexual masochist endures (suffers) leads to unhappiness or distress (misery).

I think the “super-duper, evil, bastard” portrait of a sexual sadist is incorrect and does not allow for the true motives and passions that drive the dynamics in sadomasochism as it applies to BDSM. I am a “super-duper, evil, bastard” and I have imposed humiliation and suffering on non-consenting strangers that were assholes... and I have done it at great risk in public and private. While I was forcing a stranger to their knees in public to shout his apology and beg forgiveness or while I was engaged in face slapping an errant biker or while tying the burglar we caught to a pick-nick table in the front yard so all our neighbors could torture him for answers . . . I did not feel sexual arousal or sadomasochistic pleasures and I am pretty sure any observer would have thought those to be sadistic acts.

Sadism and sexual sadism are two different dynamics with different triggers even though both qualify the practitioner as a "Sadist". This is where so many get confused and questions like these exploit the semantics. Serial killers who torture their “miserable” victims before murdering them are “sadists”. I am a “sadist” and I want my partner to live and suffer in delicious agony because it makes us both happy.

In my experience, I have been paired with non masochist and masochist. I have learned that being paired with a masochist is a win/win and our passions and pleasures reach heights unobtainable otherwise. I built this web site in tribute to the story of one such masochist in my life. slavechic.com

quote:


QUESTIONS:
a) If, as a masso, one's goal is "misery", then finding the most super-duper, evil, bastard of a Sadist that ever walked the earth would only result in the masso's HAPPINESS and contradicting their goal of "misery", yes/no?
Yes, the maso would someone who enjoyed their suffering as much as they did.

b) As a masso, wouldn't your pairing with said super-duper, evil, bastard of a Sadist that ever walked the earth still result in the Sadist being unfulfilled and left to playing the role of Sadist, because YOU (as a masso) would ENJOY every bit of torment and torture?

Seems like a "no win" scenario for either of you, as the Sadist can't legally torture the unwilling/non-consenting, and the masso (if truly desiring misery) is best left to NEVER FINDING a truly evil Sadist; ensuring a life of unfulfilled misery for the masso... yes/no???





References

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/suffer
v. suf·fered, suf·fer·ing, suf·fers

1.To feel pain or distress; sustain loss, injury, harm, or punishment.
2.To tolerate or endure evil, injury, pain, or death.
3.To appear at a disadvantage:
4.To undergo or sustain
5.To experience; undergo:
6.To endure or bear;
7.To permit; allow:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/misery
mis·er·y (mĭz'ə-rē)
n. pl. mis·er·ies

1.The state of suffering and want as a result of physical circumstances or extreme poverty.
2.Mental or emotional unhappiness or distress:
3.A cause or source of suffering.
4.Informal - A physical ache or ailment.


Hmmm... a whole LOT to chew on there... processing... processing... processing...



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 40
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