Nslavu
Posts: 342
Joined: 2/1/2010
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quote:
ORIGINAL: chiara OP
scenario.........
Master @ work , ex wife calls Him daily ! calls usually begining and ending with oh i am So lonely .
Master returns home to slave .........
slave is 'blindfolded' in a manner of speaking
Master is not going to comunicate to me that He has had another call
from her,
How do you know he has had these calls? Blindfolded in a manner of speaking.? How are you monitoring his calls?, if you know he had calls and you know he won't tell you about them? I think you've been dead set on finding the 'proof' you need to affirm your subconscious motivations to get out.
Just a thought. Have you been emotionally pushing him away? Does he come home everyday in a bad mood because you have this bone in your mouth everyday and he knows before gets there that you're going to bring it up again and again and again. Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results?
I think you know in your heart of hearts, and certainly your subconscious knows that there is something seriously wrong, whether real or imagined. The situation is untenable because you know, and it's certainly proven, it's not something you can 'win' in any external arena.
quote:
because as this ultimatium has become 'clear'
He has changed the wording...........
and says , he will Not be told who to have as friends.
and i as His slave told him that there was something
jeapordising our relationship, and i believed it was her.
his wording to this is .....
He will not be told who to be friends with !
When someone outside your relationship holds any sway over the relationship you have with him, then the relationship is fundamentally unstable. Again , I think you know subconsciously that this is true. Nothing can come between love, unless of course one of the lovers is driving their own perceived wedge into it or one is 'letting' a wedge exist and remain. So, want to figure this out.
quote:
life within my slavery to Him
was all it could have been........
we have never had a cross word.......
with the expecption of the 'ex wife'
Then who is really fixated on her presence? Why aren't you 'on him' about his job and changing that, since you emphatically suggest that his job is stressful. Why isn't this more of a concern or at least as much of a concern, than the ex, if your real issue is his happiness and stress levels. He spends, what 8-9 hours a day in this stressful job and what maybe 20 minutes dealing with the ex, yet you focus on the least stressful part of his life as the 'cause' of his unhappiness?
quote:
This has not been easy for Him , by any means.
and i hear , the results of the ultimatum , loud and clear.
I think there's hope, if you sincerely want to stay. I doubt that's in your real desire though, your subconscious reactions have been to blow things up, so why you'd want to stay is unclear to me. Your path though, your business.
Frankly I'd be gone if I were you. Most of your actions are to blow it up. Most of your words are emotional cries for help and support with feeling alone in this. I think you know it's over and or should be for you. Your OP even says "don't tell me to be a slave again." ... Monitoring his calls, says you need proof and a reason to vacate this relationship. The ultimatum says you found enough proof.
You created the gap now, a huge nuclear gap. Take it and run.... want to stay .... that means being the slave (which you don't want to hear) and more of the same old same old. He is happy to tell you to shut up about her. You say you want him to be happy. It isn't going to change....so- Two choices- You shut up (sweet misery bs) or you bolt for the nearest freedom train.
I suggest you get on that train. Good luck. Hopefully you have friends and a support system to rely on.
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RE: Help...........Please - 
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