Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Eating Rituals


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Eating Rituals Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 4:59:05 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u
Nope... not tonight... If ya took what I said personally... then you're the one with the issue on it.. not me..


This argument has a lot of merit if it is just one or two incidences or just one or two people who misunderstand.  However, each time it happens, this position loses more and more credibility.  It has been months of many different people reaching the same conclusion over many different posts in many different threads.  At some point it stops being an issue with the reader and becomes the writer's issue.  I think at this point, people are not misunderstanding what is written at all.

Knight's kyra   

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 7:03:51 AM   
BrutalAntipathy


Posts: 412
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline 		So I gather that if a partner wishes to be hit or spanked, then this is fine. But should a partner wish to be made to eat out of a dog dish, they cannot respect theirself, nor can you have any respect for them. Strange reasoning here, since both are fulfilling the desires of the partner.
 
Oh, I get it! I hate Canadian bacon, so Canadian bacon is bad. But since I like pepperoni, pepperoni is good, Duh! How simple it is now that I have been enlightened to this revolutionary form of logic. Silly Socrates had it wrong after all!
 
 

(in reply to champagnewishes)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 7:32:36 AM   
genna


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/10/2006
Status: offline 		its a delicate subject obviously touched many nerves,when i was with Master and Mistress there was great discusions and exploration,with regard to new things.They supported my limits,,my fears my needs,,and i in turn did the same,,if each or any of us was unsure there was discussion and a lot of listening.
For example,,i loved my leash,,,and at time they wished me to drink from the bowl,,but it wasnt always,,and food wasnt served that way,but it was discussed and i was blessed(from them) with true patience and teaching,,so that even my fears,,were taken out and turned over and examined very carefully,,,stretched yes,,,encouraged to reach and grow,,but always listened to when i reached my limit.Openness,,discusion and respect nurtured my adoration and commitment,,made me a better sub,,communication was the key.Each ,,,has to find their own and lucky if it works that way,,as far as i can see, no one way is the right way.
genna

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 7:45:42 AM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

So I gather that if a partner wishes to be hit or spanked, then this is fine. But should a partner wish to be made to eat out of a dog dish, they cannot respect theirself, nor can you have any respect for them. Strange reasoning here, since both are fulfilling the desires of the partner.
 
Oh, I get it! I hate Canadian bacon, so Canadian bacon is bad. But since I like pepperoni, pepperoni is good, Duh! How simple it is now that I have been enlightened to this revolutionary form of logic. Silly Socrates had it wrong after all! 
 



I guess you missed the part about it being a hard limit for *ME*...and if you didn't, then i have no respect for anyone that does not respect MY hard limits.

I fail to see what point you were trying to make over Canadian bacon...other than an attempt to throw Socrates into the conversation.  Socrates would cringe at your miss interpretation of what i said.  Let's hope Plato, Aristotle, Aristophanes etc. have done a better job with recounting what Socrates had to say. 

I would not find myself with a Dom who did not respect my hard limits, therefore, my eating from a dog dish OR being hit just for the hell of it are not in question. And that was simply all I was saying.  Sorry to have stuck a nerve with my intent.  



_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 8:37:17 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: champagnewishes

II would not find myself with a Dom who did not respect my hard limits, therefore, my eating from a dog dish OR being hit just for the hell of it are not in question. And that was simply all I was saying.  Sorry to have stuck a nerve with my intent.  


I think you expressed yourself very clearly.  Nothing wrong with a person having a hard limit for themselves and expecting other to respect that personal limit.  I am sure many share your limits and then some may not.  This doesn't make either better than the other just different!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to champagnewishes)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 8:43:09 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

* i kneel beside his chair and feed him while he works, allowed to feed myself in the process
* i serve as table on all fours with his food on my back, and when he is finished i may eat...on the floor
* we eat together - Him seated at the table, me on the floor at his feet.
* i wait at his feet while he eats, and he hand feeds me a bite now and then
* i wait at his feet and he lowers his plate (or bowl) to the floor for me to eat what he did not finish



I would image many do these sorts of things and enjoy it very much.  It is rather cool what every does as their own idea of enjoyment.  I must say that I am curious how you get the food on your back in the first place without it spilling etc.  That must take alittle skill and practice.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 11:34:37 AM   
MzPam


Posts: 59
Joined: 7/21/2004
Status: offline 		As a ritual   well boy usually cooks, but with his work hours right now I do cook alot more so W/we don't eat at midnight,  a normal day he would cook, serve Me making sure I have everything I need or want,unless there is company then depending on who it is he will serve them at times before Me or carry two plates, for instance if My mother is visiting he will make her plate with Mine unless she says not to, mom has that right to tell him no :) but only mom lol, if it is a M/s or D/s  then usually their slave/sub waits on them, then makes his plate, he never starts to eat before I say,  in public it is of course different, sometimes I will order for him  and he knows this will happen as soon as I take the menu from him :) otherwise I allow him to choose, again he will not start eatting untill I do, and if for some reason I would have to sent My plate back he will stop, and wait for Me to tell him to eat while it is warm.  I hope I kept that all straight lol
 
Pam

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 3:44:31 PM   
tears4him


Posts: 30
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

There is a big difference between expressing what's right and what wrong for oneself.  As compared to stating what's right or what's wrong for everyone.  Some people are effective more times than not at communicating what they feel is right for themself without implied judgments on others.  Some or not.  Some learn over time to improve their communication and are able to express their thoughts with much less judgmental references.  Admittedly some just choose not to improve themselves and continue to have the same miscommunications over and over again.


I gotta say this... I choose to improve myself... for me.. and mine.. not for all. If my wording isn't to your liking... ummm... no ones making you read it. But by now... if you have not figured out my flaws... and can't deal with them... that's not my fault. It is easier to express how much I do not improve my ways to please you on these boards... got news for you... I'm not here to please you.. or anyone.. not even a possible partner. I'm not on here searching for anyone. So i'm not worried about the.. Oh you'll never find anyone on here with that attitude..hell others have come to accept me and understand my postings to not be offended or feel they have to express their dislikes for my wording..... they over look me, laugh with me, or ask me what I ment...

It's obvious you know my flaws in posting.. as you stated miscommunication over and over...  only with the ones who do not know me... or want someone to rare on and try to humilate...... I'm happy with me just the way I am... and really.. that's all that count...

Have a Great weekend again all... I've got a long drive tomorrow to go meet Misstress...



True, i've been thinking of this post here. And I have to say. It's nice to see that you will not let no one get you down. I've been reading the forum here for past few weeks. And have always enjoyed the way you have fun on here. You seem to have found your joy in life and that joy is within yourself. No need to tell you to never let anyone change you, I don't think you're changeable. I think you're happy with yourself, and as you stated, that's all that really is important to you.
In response to the OP. when I am with a Dom, and we're out to dinner. I always wait for his cue on how things will go. I have prepared dinners for Dominant friends a time or two. Male and female alike. The one thing we all agree on is, I am there to serve them. I am neither into the humilation and will not dine with any that are into it. I am there to serve and please, not be made to look a fool. There are plenty of others out there that enjoy that treatment. So I always tell them to look elsewhere for that game of submission.
I do have 3 Dominant friends that like to come over and hang out and enjoy working in the kitchen, making different types of meals. Working on their chef  abilities that do get pretty funny at times. Specially when smoke alarm goes off. And we end up ordering in or going out.
<Tears>


_____________________________

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah blah blah

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 4:03:01 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tears4him
I've been reading the forum here for past few weeks. <Tears>



Welcome to the boards with your new nick.... I see that this nick was just created today.  You might want to connect with true as her profile states she lives in NC like you.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to tears4him)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 4:15:02 PM   
tears4him


Posts: 30
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: tears4him
I've been reading the forum here for past few weeks. <Tears>



Welcome to the boards with your new nick.... I see that this nick was just created today.  You might want to connect with true as her profile states she lives in NC like you.

Thank you for the welcome Knight. No, not a new nick, but one that fits me from other forums. And yes, I seen that True too is from NC as well. I also have seen a few others on here from NC as well. <Tears>


_____________________________

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah blah blah

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 5:43:37 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

Smilezz.... i'm not judging... it was just simply my own opinion on the subject of eating out of a dog bowl.... i did not say ... hey (name here).. you're screwed up for doing that...  just i'm not going to do it.. and in my own opinion(which I get tired of typing everytime I post an opinion) is that it's disrespectful.... no matter how it's hid. But no... not juding no one on their likes and dislikes.


True, I could have picked any of your last 30 posts to respond to, but this one works too...I just wanted to say....I really think you are wonderful.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 6:08:48 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

I suppose this is where i'm suppose to either get pist.. or say how sorry I am...

Nope... not tonight... If ya took what I said personally... then you're the one with the issue on it.. not me.. I may not type... talk the way you want so you can know what I mean.. but i'm not going to change me.. to please all... if you want to possible question me on what I said.. or correct me on what I say.. there's the e-mail system... or better ways... than trying to humilate me on the board... as you can probally tell.. i'm not into the humilation thing... so there for I'll smile.. and continue on... reading the board... posting on the board... and let you go on about your way as well....

Have a great weekend.


Hey you.  Somethings up with you.  Your attitude is way out of charator for you.  i've read alot of your posts on the board and this isnt something that i would expect from you.  Of course i could be wrong.  What it seems like to me, is there is something bothering you, in your life, and you're not venting, but its coming out here.  No one asked you to be sorry and if you read what Knight said - he made some very valid points.  He put that so well i was amazed.  You either need to chill out or re read his post.  What he said was very intelligently, logically, and completely flame free to the point where he was understanding.  It was very well written.  Then Perverse comes back and tries to clear up the "misunderstanding" between you too and no offense but you acted like a bitch and she was trying to smooth things over.  Didnt need to say sorry, didnt need to get pissed.  A simple agreement would of sufficed.  Honestly to say, they way you came off to everyone else, is the EXCAT way you came off to me and pretty much everyone knows i dont mince words and i'm pretty blunt.. and i STILL believe its how you wrote it.  You were judging.  Not that i care, because its not up to me to worry about what you judge or even take offense.  If you want to judge, go ahead and judge. 

But this just seems abnormal behavior for you and then again i could be wrong.  i havent been around much lately.  If FOR you judging is wrong, then you need to back and re read what others have said and make your apologies.  But if this behavior is acceptable to you then continue on as you are.  i'm just saying.. it seems abnormal for you and i'm wondering whats up?  Why are you so harsh? 

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 7:15:45 PM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I think you expressed yourself very clearly.  Nothing wrong with a person having a hard limit for themselves and expecting other to respect that personal limit.  I am sure many share your limits and then some may not.  This doesn't make either better than the other just different!


Thank you Knight for your kind words.  I agree, different knows no superiority.  And thank goodness we are all different...or there would be a surplus of Canadian bacon on the shelves.

BrutalAntipathy...after careful consideration of what you said, I think I know what point you were trying to make.  From the standpoint of a Dom, if both activities are pleasurable to him, it is the pleasure that provides the common denominator.  I think we are drawing the same conclusion from different angles.  Your saying pleasure in the two circumstances i was refering to was the intent.  I was simply saying that the intent of the action can justify the means as long as both parties are ok with the action.

And after having said that, i have confused myself so i am simply going to shut up now.




_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 8:00:09 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Grin....Seeking Dom who has this eating ritual for his submissive..His sub MUST! test his food before he takes a bite,(to make sure not too hot..not too cold..no varmints accidentally occupying his plate..to make sure perfection has been achieved)If said submissive needs to eat majority of Doms meal to ensure such is achieved then said submissive is only doing what needs must be done for her Master...once submissives job is done then submissive may partake of her/his own meal....*wink*...any takers.?..(grin)...Tempting

(in reply to MontaukDaisies)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 8:29:12 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

* i kneel beside his chair and feed him while he works, allowed to feed myself in the process
* i serve as table on all fours with his food on my back, and when he is finished i may eat...on the floor
* we eat together - Him seated at the table, me on the floor at his feet.
* i wait at his feet while he eats, and he hand feeds me a bite now and then
* i wait at his feet and he lowers his plate (or bowl) to the floor for me to eat what he did not finish



I would image many do these sorts of things and enjoy it very much.  It is rather cool what every does as their own idea of enjoyment.  I must say that I am curious how you get the food on your back in the first place without it spilling etc.  That must take alittle skill and practice.


It is a matter of maintaining balance.  He has been known to help just a bit at first, as he would prefer his dinner not spill on the floor...heh.  Practice helps.  When i last did this, it was flawless, and he commented on a job well done, which of course made me beam inside.  Now, if he chose to place his drink on my back also....that would require additional effort.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 8:36:56 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline 		These days we have a plastic tray that he puts on my back to keep the food level.  So its more a challenge to keep my back straight.  Before we had the tray it was more a function of trying to hold somewhat still and my back straight.  I found doing rhythmic breathing like you do in yoga (when you have to hold difficult poses), extremely helpful.

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/7/2006 8:47:21 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		The real challenge for me has been placing the food on my back in the first place.  And stiff joints.  Focused breathing, and a point of focus to look at also helps.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/8/2006 5:34:13 AM   
scratchingpost


Posts: 231
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		There is this one dom I know whose ritual to me seems rather intimate and sweet. Before everyone eats He must place the first bite of food into the submissives mouth and serves it to her. I like that ritual soley because of the intimacy and sweetness involved in it.

_____________________________

be safe and smile
purrrs kitty
(=^.^=)
www.misskittys-scratchingpost.com

(in reply to MontaukDaisies)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/8/2006 6:14:50 AM   
MontaukDaisies


Posts: 130
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		I'm glad to see that people here decided to share their ideas and experiences regarding food and the rituals and norms that some couples have.

I would submit that those that are a tad judgmental (and have NOT experienced this first hand) should consider their lack of experience as a hinderance to understanding the feelings that can occur for both submissive and Dominant when an activity like eating is shared in this way.

I can remember being a submissive with very little experience and SWEARING that I would NEVER wear a collar ("how humiliating!"), NEVER eat from a dog bowl ("how disgusting!"), NEVER pee in public under the Triboro Bridge at 3am in 5 inch heels and a PVC mini skirt ("how classless!") etc etc.. you get the idea.

People evolve. Well, most people do. Those that don't? Well, I'll skip the judgmental comment here and let them all be.

I'm sitting here this morning, typing this post, with my Dominant here beside me (yup yup.. I'm enjoying the company of Someone special!).. this posting has gotten us talking, sharing ideas and expressing opinions and possible scenarios for our future.

So basically.... it's gotten people (including us!) talking! This is a good thing, right?

_____________________________

~The true measure of a Man is to notice what He does when no one else is looking, when He is guided by His own sense of right and wrong.~

(in reply to champagnewishes)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Eating Rituals - 4/8/2006 7:12:29 AM   
LadyWolfdreams


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Wyoming
Status: offline 		My slave and I don't have many set rules or rituals around eating. I cook because I like to, and because he's hopeless unless it can go in the microwave. I do require that he finish whatever he's doing when dinner is ready so that he can eat with me - I don't like to cook for myself, and he's already figured out that if I've got to eat alone, there won't be any dinner (at least not for him).

Lady Wolfdreams

(in reply to MontaukDaisies)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Eating Rituals Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094