Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Offered money??


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Offered money?? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 7:53:25 PM   
BigEyes


Posts: 155
Joined: 6/13/2005
Status: offline 		I have been offered money recently for humiliation, and although the cash is tempting, that is just not why I am here or infact who I am. If I was a pro domme I would advertise as one. Has anyone else had this, and if so what was your reaction?

Big Eyes

_____________________________

Never anger insomniacs. We can do things to you while you sleep.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 8:02:51 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigEyes

I have been offered money recently for humiliation, and although the cash is tempting, that is just not why I am here or infact who I am. If I was a pro domme I would advertise as one. Has anyone else had this, and if so what was your reaction?

Big Eyes


My reaction is general annoyance. I've been offered cash, trips, shopping excursions, finders fees for an introduction service to somebody else after I've refused somebody... It's either inadequate socialization, as far as I'm concerned, or sheer laziness, cash=shortcut and no emotional investment.





_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to BigEyes)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 8:05:38 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		Yes, this has happened to Me on a few occasions..  I have had subs mail Me for My "rates," or ask what "tribute" I require, etc.  I attribute this to their not reading profiles thoroughly. 

Each time, I politely mailed back and told them I was not a pro-Domme, but if they were looking for one, there are several in the area.  With the exception of one sub, they were all polite about it and did not pursue it further.  The one persistent sub had a brown showers fetish.  At the time, I did not know of any pro-Dommes in the area who did that and told him so.  He kept upping the ante, trying to get Me interested, so I just ended up blocking him.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to BigEyes)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 8:05:44 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Damn, Baby.......
I thought you was kinky.......
Taking money for something is kinky, ain't it?

Life threatening confusion,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 8:11:30 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Life threatening confusion,



Damn close! lol Hugs, Ron. You always make me smile.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 8:14:18 PM   
BigEyes


Posts: 155
Joined: 6/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Damn, Baby.......
I thought you was kinky.......
Taking money for something is kinky, ain't it?

Life threatening confusion,
Ron


Is it though? Kink is all in the mind, and money isn't a turn on for me. I have to admit it IS very tempting, but only in a greedy, shallow way. Sorry to all the pro dommes out there, but it's just not for me..

_____________________________

Never anger insomniacs. We can do things to you while you sleep.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 8:16:53 PM   
MsDominiquenz


Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline 		Well..jumping in here feet first as a newbie to these boards, but not a newbie to all of this.
Hi Big Eyes.
Why oh why is money always an issue ?..the label ProDom describes many different individuals, and a stereotype suggests someone doing the activity for profit not pleasure, and I saw a thread here on the usual ProDomme bashing..*Yawn*
Imagine the chap wishing to be humiliated has money as a hangup ? what if he is using money on offer as a way for you to humiliate him ..understand often that Women see money as security and men see it as power.. perhaps its not about being a Pro anything, maybe its his way of relinquishing something to you?
I have done fully tributed sessions/scenes, and I have played all day for a box of chocolates !! yummy. I have a gift list, and its lovely when something turns up..very special.
Tributing the Domina is not all about the rip off, its not real, hookers with whips, princess 'i breathe so pay me now' attitudes.
Its a sign of respect, so I would say let him tribute you, think on the power/money angle for yourself, and perhaps think on something other than money he may show respect with.

If this person is thinking of buying your time, or hoping that money will sway your mind, or will allow him to offer a blueprint for activity..then yes, I see your thoughts there, mind you, even in a ProDomme situation, money will/should not guarantee anything this way.

Thanks for a chance to post on an interesting point, I hope it works out for you !

(in reply to BigEyes)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 8:17:35 PM   
BigEyes


Posts: 155
Joined: 6/13/2005
Status: offline 		Although I do need some new jeans, and then there are those irritating debts, and I've always wanted a dog...

I jest - mostly!

_____________________________

Never anger insomniacs. We can do things to you while you sleep.

(in reply to BigEyes)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 8:22:31 PM   
BigEyes


Posts: 155
Joined: 6/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDominiquenz
If this person is thinking of buying your time, or hoping that money will sway your mind, or will allow him to offer a blueprint for activity..then yes, I see your thoughts there


This is exactly the situation. If it was different as you describe there wouldn't be such an issue, but when some horny sub wants to give me money so I will do what he wants... I think not. I can see your point generally though, and thank you for the thought that went into your reply!

Big Eyes

_____________________________

Never anger insomniacs. We can do things to you while you sleep.

(in reply to MsDominiquenz)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 8:49:21 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I mentioned in a chat room once that I've been to Europe and I've been really wanting to go back for years now - but no $ for the trip ... I was almost immediately deluged with private messages offering to pay my way if I (and Holly, of course) would dominate them "for awhile" or something along those lines.  We've been offered free trips, tons of cash, and told by multiple guys in various parts of the world that we could live quite well and get to travel wherever we want if we would let boys pay for it all.

Personally, I'm with you - it appeals to me, but not as a part of D/s ... the pure greed "I want" side loves the idea, but the other side of me, the side that knows who and what I really am is appalled with the greedy side and regularly smacks her around for even thinking about it (that side of me is apparently a brutal sadist LOL).  If I ever did it, it would not be a D/s thing for me - it would be a business transaction; sterile, unemotional, and most likely, personally unfullfilling.  It would be like me trying to be happy working on an OB floor in a hospital - while I know plenty of people that love it, it's just not me. 

(in reply to BigEyes)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 8:59:04 PM   
MsDominiquenz


Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline 		Ah ha..BigEyes..you are welcome, and you get it !! good to stay with those morals and ethics I say, they are important to me too.
Never, never, never should it be ok to take money for doing what the sub wants..ever. Control.. what, who ?
I am really comfortable with my stance on this in my experience, and I have turned away more than I have seen, but thats why they call me the Bitch...and thats ok too, Beauty_In_Total_Control_of_Herself.
Love it.
More power to you Lady !

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 8:59:04 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		I've had quite a few occasions where someone will contact me out of the blue offering money for play, or to be my "financial slave" or similar nonsense.  

Now, the real question is - how sincere are such offers?  I'm going to hazard - not particularly.  It's kinda like someone offering to sell you a bridge...well maybe they DO have one, but really - what are the chances?  A couple specific incidents come to mind - one last fall where the individual offered me a amount of money, and I said it would most please me if he donated it to the Red Cross.   I didn't hear back from him.   Shocking.   The other one is someone who wanted me to postal discipline him - he wanted to confess his misdeeds, and have me fine him for them and send me the money.  Further discussion revealed his idea of fines were $5 to maybe $20 for something REALLY bad.  Well it was good for a laugh anyway.

Only one exception to this is a sub I've only ever spoken to online who has bought me (and quite a few other dommes) numerous toys over the years.  His kick is the whole shopping frenzy, and he's at about 50/50 on following through and actually buying things.  His is a highly unusual case in following through at all, I believe.

The bottom line is what I think you can expect from such offers is prolonged online and phone discussions about what you'd do to him, blah blah blah, and see very little in return. 

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to BigEyes)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Offered money?? - 4/2/2006 10:35:57 PM   
WorshippingYou1


Posts: 23
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline 		Any dommes here who'd like to "buy" me to be their boy? Wink.

(in reply to BigEyes)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Offered money?? - 4/3/2006 2:19:33 AM   
GoddessAlexia


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/1/2004
Status: offline 		Just tell him you are not a pro and he will understand.

_____________________________

Goddess Alexia
www.mistressalexia.com
www.theplatinumcage.com

(in reply to WorshippingYou1)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Offered money?? - 4/3/2006 6:02:16 AM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		I believe it was already mentioned earlier, but some levels of humilation can involve paying out  somes of cash. To some it coan reenforce the fact that their so pathetic in life , no one would  want to be with them without money being involved.. Saying that, you still have to be confortable with the realtionship. If your not don't do it

But you can also look at it as a way to expeand the relationship in the form of gifts. Instead of direct money comming to you , have him bring you a new pair of jeans that you liked . Or if he wants to explore  play , but you don't have the right toys yet, have him invest in them with the ida that it will be only for the both of you to play with. Maybe even start a new toy box or bag that is only for you two. If he does want to pay out , choose a non profit orgainzation for him to give to . Make him show you the receipt..

(in reply to GoddessAlexia)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Offered money?? - 4/3/2006 6:27:45 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
I often run into men who dangle money as a carrot. Few of them have any intention of coming through with said gift. They've just found that a certain type of "domme" can be put through her paces by offering a hope of money or gifts. Sigh.  I'm contacted by multiple "subs" a week, wanting to pay for humiliation. Especially if he is talking about online, it is probably a scam. You could say I'm a cynical bitch, or you could say I'm a realist who has been dealing with wankers-who-want-to-use-women-rather-than-submit-to-them for too long.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to BigEyes)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Offered money?? - 4/3/2006 7:10:42 AM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigEyes

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDominiquenz
If this person is thinking of buying your time, or hoping that money will sway your mind, or will allow him to offer a blueprint for activity..then yes, I see your thoughts there


This is exactly the situation. If it was different as you describe there wouldn't be such an issue, but when some horny sub wants to give me money so I will do what he wants... I think not. I can see your point generally though, and thank you for the thought that went into your reply!

Big Eyes


I would never perform for a male because he gave me gifts or money. Some guys are just into that. Does it make them hot and excited? Maybe or maybe they feel they need to do that.  

Call me what you want but I would never turn it down. Why? Does it affect my moral disposition? Maybe in your eyes but certainly not in mine. In fact I love it and it turns me on. I realize this is a hard dynamic to understand and there are threads about this. It seems to create some heated debates.  

I look around my house and its smack full of things purchased by my slaves. Does this make me a hooker? Ok, whatever. Does it make me less dominant? Now that would be truly funny to anyone who really knows me. Do I have attitude? Damn right I do & I won’t apologize for it nor will I ever return a gift.  

Let him by you those jeans if he wants and you need them. DON’T allow it to come with conditions & expectations. If he does it because he adores you fine. I could go on and say some other things but I already know I’m going to hear a lot of shit for this. I don’t do this on purpose, mind you, but I also know there are other women here who feel as I do. There isn’t a damn thing wrong with being a Goddess who expects this type of adoration. If two people of like interest gets together and you consensually create this dynamic, more power to you.

< Message edited by DiannaVesta -- 4/3/2006 7:31:07 AM >

_____________________________



(in reply to BigEyes)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Offered money?? - 4/3/2006 7:26:24 AM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		Reread  DiannaVesta last line and it pretty much sums it up...

(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Offered money?? - 4/3/2006 7:35:22 AM   
Angeni


Posts: 88
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings :)
I was once offered $100 to do nothing more than pee on someone. And I am not even a Domme/Mistress. I found it to be quite humorous at the time.

(in reply to BigEyes)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Offered money?? - 4/3/2006 8:47:41 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigEyes

I have been offered money recently for humiliation, and although the cash is tempting, that is just not why I am here or infact who I am. If I was a pro domme I would advertise as one. Has anyone else had this, and if so what was your reaction?

Big Eyes


I've never had this experience.

I have had someone show up at a munch with flowers for me before saying it was to show his "devotation to me" -- this actually indicated how little he did know about me.

I've had people I've trained give me gifts after the training or several weeks into it as a "thank you".

I had a bottom once whom I did only knife play with (his fetish and I wanted to get practice in) who took me out for a milk shake afterwards while we talked and came down. I had a sub once come to visit and then before his train back to his home would take me out to breakfast so we could have a relaxing "goodbye".

Of course I've received gifts for holidays and my birthday.

The closest I've had to what you've experienced, Big Eyes, is before Fox started training he asked if I required tribute because his previous dominant did this and he'd seen discussion of tributes online so much. I explained that I did not and that what I expected was his hard work and focus on training, honesty and growth.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to BigEyes)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Offered money?? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078