RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed

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RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed - 4/6/2010 2:33:12 PM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium
meaningless? No. and I do appreciate your input. thank you.

Thank you.

the.dark.

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RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed - 4/6/2010 2:34:14 PM

Jeffff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

Hey now, I bought a couple rounds of sangrias last time, not so different!

Yes, but then she started talking and you let her!

Not only that, she didn't really want her problem solved, she just wanted to you "listen"

The onus is on you to say. "Listen you silly twat, how many times have you done this!"
"Shut the fuck up and drink your wine!"

The you fly to Chicago and Bang DG and I. That is the proper response.

I hope this helps you in the future

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RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed - 4/6/2010 2:37:21 PM

HisSweetElysium

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hmm you think that would help? I do keep getting these people wanting me to come to Chicago....

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RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed - 4/6/2010 2:41:45 PM

Jeffff

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It would help someone.

This isn't all about YOU ya know

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RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed - 4/6/2010 2:53:47 PM

HisSweetElysium

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LOL it's not!?!?

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RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed - 4/6/2010 2:54:13 PM

RedMagic1

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A pattern I've noticed in ivory tower weirdness -- take it or leave it as you see fit:

Those with two PhD's tend to be less intelligent, and less emotionally capable, than those with one. People who continue after the first PhD like school more than the real world. Well, who does that? Those who aren't strong at dealing with confrontation, bills, responsibilities beyond getting an A. Remember, the "student lifestyle" isn't exactly known for hard work, grit, and determination against all odds.

No comments about anything else.

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RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed - 4/6/2010 2:58:17 PM

Jeffff

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I'd buy you a beer Red, but if you start getting all morose and maudlin I am out of there!

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RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed - 4/6/2010 3:49:09 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

What did she expect would happen when a 16 year old boy was summarily pulled away from his father and his friends and support system in order to watch his mother chase after some asshole? Of course he made bad decisions. The boy ought to be allowed to return home to live with his father.

As far as her agreeing to risk her child being motherless by choosing to drive one of the 'toys' to the airport in bad weather? Another sign of her not thinking with her head, but with her clit.

She's made bad decisions from the beginning. No problem as long as it just involved her. But she's causing a child at a difficult age huge amounts of angst and that's unforgivable.

I think you missed the part where the son was doing poorly where they were and BEGGED the mother to take him.

As for the accident.... Umm at 16 I had a drivers license and begged to take the car whenever something needs driving to get done. Rain or shine. Learned to drive in the Snow and Mud when I had a permit. So I think what you are saying here is highly judgemental because I doubt the clit had as much to do with the son driving as the freedom of driving is for a kid.

In the end you seem to have strong emotions on this, did something like this happen to you? I am curious because it would seem you have already made up in your mind what really happened and so far that story has yet to have been told.

QSM

I read it as the friend was driving, not the 16 year old boy. If it was the child, then the mother was incorrect to allow him to drive in the storm.

If she missed a job interview to drive the other woman, that was a poor decision on her part. She should have given the other woman the number of a taxi company.

I have a son of this age. And it's rough. I didn't uproot him, his father moved to the other side of the country. And sometimes he misses his father, and sometimes he resents him, sometimes he resents me, and sometimes he resents The Man for being here even when his own father can't be bothered to visit. Rational? Hell no. Common emotions on the part of a 16 year old boy? Damn right!

Honestly if this woman really thought this man was the best thing since sliced bread, she could just as easily have stayed where she was, for her son's sake, and had a ldr for two whole years till he went off to college. Lots of us make ldr's work for years for our children's sake. I'm not the only one.

As far as him asking to come with her? She gave him two untenable choices, to choose between his parents. He didn't want her to abandon him, understandable. But what isn't understandable is why she didn't put him first for two years? A PhD in Psychology and zero knowledge of adolescent psychology? Sorry, college level courses in adolescent psychology would have predicted this. Denials not just a river in Egypt.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 4/6/2010 3:52:01 PM >

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RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed - 4/6/2010 4:24:01 PM

January

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Hey Des,

I agree with you... see my posts above.

Maybe it's because we both have sixteen year old sons that we see the son's POV in the OP's story--and are especially alarmed by the mothers recklessness.

The fact that the boy was having prior trouble with his father and "begged" to come with his mother makes everything all right, according to the OP. Huh? I don't see it that way at all.

So we find out the boy was troubled even before the move. Mom, instead of staying put and helping the troubled boy with all that Psych knowledge, or even motherly concern, takes him along in her search for some perfect Dom-man. And now that things haven't worked out with Dom-man, the mother imagines herself a victim. Maybe she is a victim. But duty to offspring overrides feeling sorry for yourself.

According to the OP, victim Mom has lots of things to keep her happy and diverted. Dinner parties, the gym, munches, training for a tri-athilon. And the boy? Where's the son in all this? He having any fun? Or is he left alone to fend for himself? Who cares about him?

Who is the real victim?

January

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RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed - 4/7/2010 1:34:24 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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Unpopular or not, I'm holding the DOM responsible for being the untruthful dirty bag tool that he is (Clearly he was not honest). Sure she could have took things at a slower pace, but would that really had changed anything? (People often use the nature of LD to hide their hide secrets and agendas) She could have waited another 6 monthes or longer then moved and the same damn events would have unfolded. She carried through on her end of things, was honest about it. She moved there to be with him. She was not wrong for doing it. Hell, if he had been honest in what he was telling her, it would have been a sucess story and nobody would be saying she was stupid for it.

Life is full of Risk taking and chances and Odds. Anyways, stuff can be debated about her. However, it's pretty straight up and clear he was Douche Bag untruthful bastard. Given the backstory of things, he was not a complete stranger to her.

I don't know about all you other people but, when you make an agreement with somebody, uphold your end of things and the other person screws you the fuck over, it's shame on them and not you. Sure, you can sit there and kick yourself in the ass for what? I mean seriously, she had no control over this dude telling lies or not. We all like to try to assume blame for things other people do at times, thinking we were the ones at fault for having trusted too much or taken a risk.

What I'm stressing is that she held up her end of things, with a certain understanding and expectation to the terms and conditions. He was not so upfront. He's a Douch Bag, he knew she was uprooting herself and her son and moving there to be with him... He knew what the Hell the Deal was.

Fuckers like this piss me off... Being a DOM and Being in charge of shit, means thinking how your own choices and decision effect things. Illresponsible Jerkoff.. He should have cut to the chase while she was in the process of making moving plans. I'm pretty certain it crossed his mind and that these thoughts about him not being honest crossed his brain. Come on, like this Dude totally was throughtless and thought free in the shit he was saying, and even more when she was in the middle of packing? She was holding up her end of things. Again, people can hide behind their bullshit and lies Long Distance. She went and did what a lot of people do, that is to get on with the show. She took action and did things to be with him. He knew what the score was...

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RE: Being a good friend-Rant enclosed - 4/7/2010 4:35:02 AM

Firebirdseeking

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Thank you, Whip, this is very well said and I like your style, you cut to the chase. He behaved badly. Everyone is responsible for his or her own behavior, and that includes bad behavior, which his certainly was. She was naive, perhaps, but being naive is not in the same category as being dishonest, and as you say, not holding up his end of the bargain, and being duplicitious. And definitely not "Dom" material, this guy was just in it for the kink, and was evidently not even an honest "Top".

It's sad for her that it went the way it went. I think that criticizing her for HIS bad behavior is unfair, misplaced and gives poster a "holier than thou" attitude. As I said, we have all made errors in sizing up others. The important thing is that we learn from those errors and not repeat them.

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