beej
Posts: 145
Joined: 1/24/2010
Status: offline
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as LPslittleclip and some others said, draw your age line as a guide based on life experience, but if you keep it as a hard and fast rule, you could be cheating yourself. you know what you want in a man and what will satisfy you in a relationship. you know what you have to offer. don't put different cards on the table because he's younger; play your usual hand with the same gusto. if he wins, he will have gotten you on the same merits as any other man that you considered, and then why should you hesitate?
i was in a long term relationship (vanilla) with a much younger man for three years, and 30s vs 20s is a particularly sensitive gap when you're talking about experience, expectations, and combining family and friends. but it was lovely and loving while it lasted, i think because i knew myself so well that his age wasn't a threat or a hinderance to my program. i've known for years now that i'm not moving, i'm not getting married, i'm not breeding, and i'm not playing parent to someone else's child. i like a man with a quick smile, clever comebacks, a sense of adventure, and a talent for ransacking me and a bedroom simultaneously. in my real life, i advertise for that kind of man while i'm out and about in the places that i like to go and while i'm doing what i like to do, and more often than not, it's a younger man who picks up what i'm putting down. i would rather not date a 25 year old (that's my lower limit), but i'm not going to say no off hand if the approach feels good and the experience tastes right. so especially online where chemistry is much more difficult to judge, if a man can come across to you well in email or whatever, it's worth seriously investigating at least. my first dude that i met from here that turned me on to kink? 26. i felt every bit of the seven year difference between us, and it was effin' delicious. my sub that i'm considering is 27, and he also got me on the strength of his approach. i understand that you're dealing with bigger gaps for you, but if in your profile you knew what you wanted, asked for it, and then got it in these younger men, i think it would be ill-advised to turn up your nose only because they're younger.
another thing i'll say is this, whether the dude is younger or skinnier or geekier or whatever than you expected: a man can be good for you in a lot of ways, if you weigh what he's offering against what would satisfy you and not against what you might ideally want in Mr. Be All & End All. i've had a string of good luck with men in my dating life, and i don't think it's because i'm so lucky or so smart. i think it's because i'm very rooted in a "we'll see what happens" approach to trying a man on for size. kind of like with movies, if the previews look good, i'll check it out. could be a sleeper hit. as long as its not costing you too much and its not going to hurt you, why not wade in the water a little bit and see how it feels?
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RE: Where do you draw the line? - 
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