LadyPact
Posts: 32566
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ORIGINAL: jbcurious
When I first came on this site I started out by asking "Am I looking for a BDSM relationship?" I have a very good idea of who I am and what I'm looking for...and supplied that information. The responses were all very positive, I was assured that what I was looking for was within the realm of a BDSM relationship, that there were many different dynamics and choices and that the most important thing was to find someone who had similar ideas and wanted the same things out of a relationship...that there are no hard and fast rules.
That is true. There is no one true way. However, there is My way which does work for Me. Now, if I thought something was a better option, I'd either adopt it or change it. I can tell you that there are folks who have a successful BDSM dynamic or different type of relationship that works for them, but it wouldn't work for Me.
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Yet thread after thread...I see new people that aren't "Dom" enough or "subbie" enough or knowledgable enough... get shredded, ridiculed or ignored. Some have just faded away not to be heard from again and some have tried to take it in good humour and some have tried to fight back.
Are there people out there who I wouldn't feel are submissive enough for Me in particular? Yes, I do. That's called incompatibility. Are there people out there who aren't Dom enough? Yes, and I wouldn't put them in control of My cat. Not every Dominant is a good Dominant. That's just the truth of the matter.
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Many of you have been involved with this lifestyle for years, have read sll the books, know the right attitudes and answers. Some of us are trying to find those answers, trying to find our own possibilites. Many respond to posts in a detached analytical manner based on knowledge... Some of us post with personal thoughts, feeling and experiences bexause it's all we have.
No, it's all you're willing or able to do at the moment.
Every single one of the books on My shelf about BDSM is still in print. Each can be ordered by simply going to Amazon.com. (Though I will say that is not the method that I used in acquiring Mine.)
When folks drop in on this site and go on about how they want to be in control and responsible for another human being, but can't be bothered to do anymore research about authority dynamics or topping skills than what they can access if they don't have to leave their computer screen, priorities and effort are lacking.
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Many have access to clubs, organizations, friends, munches ect as a way to meet people who are into the lifestyle, as a way to meet potential partners. Some have only CM as a means to learn and meet others.
Now, I know this isn't your case due to your location. I don't find that to be true in most cases. When looking at the location most folks give, they are within hours of being able to get to those clubs and munches. It really boils down to they want to do it so bad, but again, lack effort. To Me, that's a half assed approach. See, I've made the drive from Colorado Springs to Denver to go to My first major event. I've gone from Augusta to Atlanta so that I could go to the public club. Even now, I drive two hours one way to go to the munch I attend in Bakersfield, three hours to San Jose if I want to go to a public club, and four hours so that I can experience something like the Folsom Street fair. I'm very much a 'if I want something bad enough, I'll go out and get it' type.
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I'm not asking anyone to stop being who they are, or to stop having a laugh and enjoying the sarcastic humor... I am asking that you be a little more tolerant to those of us still trying to find our way.
I'm not always tolerant and I'll be the first to admit that. At the same time, I'm much more willing to go the distance for someone who is also willing to help themselves. I've got a lot more patience for someone who may have extenuating circumstances that doesn't allow for them to do everything in their power to become more educated on BDSM or those things related. When I see it as just someone who lives in a major city (meaning they have access to clubs, munches, events, and even bookstores) but they aren't investing themselves in their own education, I'm not going to put more into it than they are.
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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: What is your vision & philosophy as Master? - 
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