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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 3:43:07 PM   
DWCskitten


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Personal Responsibility = Not Passing the Buck. We ALL have responsibilities and need to step up to the plate and deal with things, and someone who shirks theirs is NOT someone i want to be around.

~kitten~

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New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 4:28:03 PM   
catize


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quote:

I see some s-types actually minimize their responsibilities and put it on the d-type more often than not


If I accept his authority, I believe that I should be held accountable for my part of the agreement, but then, so should he.
It is, I think, a matter of a clear and mutual understanding of the expectations within any given relationship.
If I recall correctly, one of the responsibilities you take on as a dominant is “Do no harm.” The dominants in my life share that philosophy. That creates an equal responsibility on my part to “Allow no harm.”

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Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 4:43:19 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

If I recall correctly, one of the responsibilities you take on as a dominant is “Do no harm.” The dominants in my life share that philosophy. That creates an equal responsibility on my part to “Allow no harm.”



I could kiss you!!!!! and well maybe a few other things too ;)

I wouldn't particular use the word 'equal'... but in essense... to me a commitment between two individuals creates that reciprocal responsibility to fulfill that commitment between them. A commitment of to adhere to a authority transfer creates reciprocating responsibilities that must be fulfilled in order for the commitmen to be fulfilled and maintained. Of course the specific nature of the responsibilities will be varired for each dyanmic.. but they will be complimentary to each other in order for there to be success.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 4/11/2010 4:44:07 PM >


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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 4:47:34 PM   
lally2


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taking responsibility for my choices, decisions and directions is what makes it all possible, it makes making mistakes OK, because they were my choice to start with and when i get it right then i can be proud of that.

i dont ask anyone to be responsible for me, but i do ask that they be responsible in their own actions, thoughts and words towards me.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 4:58:26 PM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

a silly woman spills hot coffee on herself and is awarded millions

Apologies for the hijack, OP, but it annoys the crap out of me when people bring this up.
Since the topic of the thread is responsibility, the fact of the matter is that McDonalds was responsible in the above mentioned case*. In fact, the reason the whole thing went to trial is that the company refused acknowledge that responsibility and settle when the woman requested $20,000, an amount that might have just about covered her medical bills. They got bitchslapped in court when it came out that the company knew full well that keeping their coffee at 30+ degrees over industry standards had already caused hundreds of people to be burned, some severely.

By the by, it wasn't a matter of minor burns getting millions. The plaintiff received full thickness burns to her inner thighs, buttocks, perenium, and genitals, requiring skin grafts and extensive medical care. She was in the hospital for 8 days. Also, the woman did not receive "millions". The original award was reduced significantly by the court, then settled in secret for an undisclosed amount.

*http://www.lectlaw.com/files/cur78.htm


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 5:38:05 PM   
PrimalConsonance


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

a silly woman spills hot coffee on herself and is awarded millions

Apologies for the hijack, OP, but it annoys the crap out of me when people bring this up.
Since the topic of the thread is responsibility, the fact of the matter is that McDonalds was responsible in the above mentioned case*. In fact, the reason the whole thing went to trial is that the company refused acknowledge that responsibility and settle when the woman requested $20,000, an amount that might have just about covered her medical bills. They got bitchslapped in court when it came out that the company knew full well that keeping their coffee at 30+ degrees over industry standards had already caused hundreds of people to be burned, some severely.

By the by, it wasn't a matter of minor burns getting millions. The plaintiff received full thickness burns to her inner thighs, buttocks, perenium, and genitals, requiring skin grafts and extensive medical care. She was in the hospital for 8 days. Also, the woman did not receive "millions". The original award was reduced significantly by the court, then settled in secret for an undisclosed amount.

*http://www.lectlaw.com/files/cur78.htm




I love you, WyldHrt.  You are definitely a Smart Kewkie.

As to the issue of responsibility, my Master has a higher degree of responsibility in our relationship, because he has taken them for himself.  I am responsible, as are all of us, for not being a total fuckwad, and for those areas of my life and our relationship which he has given me responsibility.



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AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss


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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 5:40:56 PM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

I love you, WyldHrt.  You are definitely a Smart Kewkie.

*smooches roselaure*


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 6:35:53 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

a silly woman spills hot coffee on herself and is awarded millions

Apologies for the hijack, OP, but it annoys the crap out of me when people bring this up.
Since the topic of the thread is responsibility, the fact of the matter is that McDonalds was responsible in the above mentioned case*. In fact, the reason the whole thing went to trial is that the company refused acknowledge that responsibility and settle when the woman requested $20,000, an amount that might have just about covered her medical bills. They got bitchslapped in court when it came out that the company knew full well that keeping their coffee at 30+ degrees over industry standards had already caused hundreds of people to be burned, some severely.

By the by, it wasn't a matter of minor burns getting millions. The plaintiff received full thickness burns to her inner thighs, buttocks, perenium, and genitals, requiring skin grafts and extensive medical care. She was in the hospital for 8 days. Also, the woman did not receive "millions". The original award was reduced significantly by the court, then settled in secret for an undisclosed amount.

*http://www.lectlaw.com/files/cur78.htm




got to love those urban myths don't you!!!!....

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 6:43:46 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:


I could kiss you!!!!! and well maybe a few other things too ;)

I wouldn't particular use the word 'equal'... but in essense... to me a commitment between two individuals creates that reciprocal responsibility to fulfill that commitment between them. A commitment of to adhere to a authority transfer creates reciprocating responsibilities that must be fulfilled in order for the commitmen to be fulfilled and maintained. Of course the specific nature of the responsibilities will be varired for each dyanmic.. but they will be complimentary to each other in order for there to be success.




That would be reciprocal! (you made me blush---sheesh!)
I take your point about the use of the word equal. My thoughts had to do with what I originally quoted from your OP, the part about the submissive 'putting it all on the dominant'. Your phrasing brought to my mind the concept of misplaced blame. The dominants in my life have charged me to assist them to keep the relationship(s) on course. If I am silent when they need more information, that is on my shoulders, not theirs.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 6:54:08 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

a silly woman spills hot coffee on herself and is awarded millions

Apologies for the hijack, OP, but it annoys the crap out of me when people bring this up.
Since the topic of the thread is responsibility, the fact of the matter is that McDonalds was responsible in the above mentioned case*. In fact, the reason the whole thing went to trial is that the company refused acknowledge that responsibility and settle when the woman requested $20,000, an amount that might have just about covered her medical bills. They got bitchslapped in court when it came out that the company knew full well that keeping their coffee at 30+ degrees over industry standards had already caused hundreds of people to be burned, some severely.

By the by, it wasn't a matter of minor burns getting millions. The plaintiff received full thickness burns to her inner thighs, buttocks, perenium, and genitals, requiring skin grafts and extensive medical care. She was in the hospital for 8 days. Also, the woman did not receive "millions". The original award was reduced significantly by the court, then settled in secret for an undisclosed amount.

*http://www.lectlaw.com/filehttp://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/help/end-support-windows-xp-sp2-windows-vista-without-service-packs?os=vistas/cur78.htm




got to love those urban myths don't you!!!!....


Not an urban myth at all  http://www.caoc.com/CA/index.cfm?event=showPage&pg=facts

< Message edited by zephyroftheNorth -- 4/11/2010 6:57:58 PM >


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(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 7:02:41 PM   
WyldHrt


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ETA- just saw your edit.
I think KOM meant that the woman getting millions for something that was her own fault was an urban myth, Zephy.


< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 4/11/2010 7:09:52 PM >


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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
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Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 7:03:36 PM   
BeingChewsie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I see some s-types actually minimize their responsibilities and put it on the d-type more often than not. All that seems like low self-esteem to me.


I'd wager for some people it is low self esteem, but perhaps for them being in a collar and under the authority of another can help improve that over the long term. I won't pretend to know though. I think the responsibilities are certainly different, my primary(overrides all others) responsibility is to obey. He determines the course and sequence of our life and for over 10 years now, I just simply have to do either what I'm told in the moment or follow previously laid out directives. There really isn't a whole lot to *take* responsibility for besides doing what pleases him and what pleases him is obedience. For me, that is enough.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 7:06:42 PM   
MonPetitChaton


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A slight tangent from the "special ed" sector of the readership.....could some stout soul please post a link or PM me about personality "types".

Thank you from my little corner of the room.

Mon petit chaton.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 7:17:10 PM   
Smutmonger


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Responsibility is a selfish act of keeping things you want in your life.

Things shirked are things lost.

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I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 8:55:22 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

It's a big word and has bigger consequences!!!

But.. like so many words it's thrown around that I wonder what it's meaning is on occassion.

I see some d-types throw it out as a huge importance and in effect minimizing the s-types responsbilities. All that seems like Ego inflating to me!

I see some s-types actually minimize their responsibilities and put it on the d-type more often than not. All that seems like low self-esteem to me.


I personally see that responsibilities exist for both d-types and s-types. I am not worried about how has more or less... since to me that is more about one's ego than actual upholding one's responsibilties. I believe that there are responsibilities for everyone in a relationship and no one relationship is going to be particularly the same in who those responsibilities will be laid upon.

I am not so sure I have a question here. But I am concerned by seeming disregard and misuse of responsibilties for the sake of one's eqo.

so... what is your take on responsibilities!


I am sure there are some dominants who do get puffed up having the ability to control, there are others who simply desire to do it because it makes the submissives life more carefree, less stressful and this ultimately is a benefit to the dominant. I do know there are subs that allow dominants this type of control. Yes, some do have self esteem issues, but there are also just as many that see this as a simple benefit of the relationship and consent to this type of control and it has nothing to do with their self esteem.
I am quite capable of taking one any responsibility I feel is warranted, however I have no desire to have a sub who requires to be micro managed nor someone who is neglectful of the responsibilities we have mutually decided she will be accountable for


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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 9:32:26 PM   
jbcurious


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...and it annoys me when someone chooses one small part of a statment and makes an issue of it, while ignoring the rest of the statement.

While you may not like the example... It is something that most people are familiar with making it an easy reference. I don't believe it changes the fact that our society is one in which people don't accept responsibility for their actions... and this effects every aspect of our lives.

This opens up the possibility of people coming into a BDSM dynamic where neither side is familiar with personal responsibility and expect each other to bare the weight of responsibility within the relationship.

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I have an explosive personality...


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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/11/2010 9:35:55 PM   
Smutmonger


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What gets to me the most is the failure of so many people to see the karmic outcomes of failing to be acountable.

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I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/12/2010 1:09:53 AM   
WyldHrt


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Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

...and it annoys me when someone chooses one small part of a statment and makes an issue of it, while ignoring the rest of the statement.

I had no intention of offending you personally, jb. Sorry you seem to have taken it that way. As I indicated, my reply was specific and off topic, hence my decision not to address the rest of your on topic post.
quote:

While you may not like the example... It is something that most people are familiar with making it an easy reference

That is my problem with it, actually. While it might be 'easy', it is completely wrong when one knows the truth. Stella, the plaintiff in that case, became a worldwide joke for bringing a lawsuit that was completely justified, and was publicly mocked for the rest of her days (she was 79 at the time of the incident, and died in 2004 at the age of 91). To me, that just isn't right. Sorry if you don't like it, but there is nothing responsible about perpetuating untruths about a person for the sake of an 'easy reference', IMO.

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 4/12/2010 1:11:09 AM >


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/12/2010 2:07:12 AM   
dovie


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Sir,

I like the filters of "responsibility TO and/or responsible FOR."  Works well for me.

Regards,
Olivia

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gentle dove with 38's *the kind you shoot with*


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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/12/2010 2:25:58 AM   
ranja


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Well WyldHrt it seems ok for you to hijack when it suits you but you wag your finger when others do it,
why do you feel responsible for telling people the truth about the McDonald's coffee case? but are ok with people smoking themselves to death?

And should jbcurious perhaps take responsibility instead of making escuses for mentioning the coffee case without having proper knowledge of the issue?

i personally take full responsibility for this post

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 40
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