quote:

, y'all really aren't Gods.

heartfelt

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
I had no intention of offending you personally, jb. Sorry you seem to have taken it that way. As I indicated, my reply was specific and off topic, hence my decision not to address the rest of your on topic post

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
I had no intention of offending you personally, jb. Sorry you seem to have taken it that way. As I indicated, my reply was specific and off topic, hence my decision not to address the rest of your on topic post

I'm sorry I took it so personally...feeling defensive and frustrated, imagining slights where non were intended is not a good place to be, I should have taken myself off the forums.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
I had no intention of offending you personally, jb. Sorry you seem to have taken it that way. As I indicated, my reply was specific and off topic, hence my decision not to address the rest of your on topic post

I'm sorry I took it so personally...feeling defensive and frustrated, imagining slights where non were intended is not a good place to be, I should have taken myself off the forums.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
I had no intention of offending you personally, jb. Sorry you seem to have taken it that way. As I indicated, my reply was specific and off topic, hence my decision not to address the rest of your on topic post

I'm sorry I took it so personally...feeling defensive and frustrated, imagining slights where non were intended is not a good place to be, I should have taken myself off the forums.

No, you shouldn't.  Quite frankly, if you belonged to Me, I wouldn't have permitted it.

I would want you exploring your feelings.  I would want you digging deeper and seeing what's really in there.  I would want you to see each other's point of view in a different light, even if the road getting there would be a little bumpy.  That's how we learn and how we grow.

I have a wonderful feeling that the two of you are going to make very good friends.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

so... what is your take on responsibilities!

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I'm sorry I took it so personally...feeling defensive and frustrated, imagining slights where non were intended is not a good place to be, I should have taken myself off the forums.

quote:

Although this may end up being an unpopular comment, i do believe that there seems to be an attitude of the "big bad Dominant" is always "at fault" (responsible) if something goes wrong and the poor s-type is never "at fault" for choosing unwisely, (please hear dripping sarcasm here) because she was so swept away by either her sub frenzy or his Dominant wiles that she didn't see the huge waving red flags that any other person might see.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
No, you shouldn't. Quite frankly, if you belonged to Me, I wouldn't have permitted it.

I would want you exploring your feelings. I would want you digging deeper and seeing what's really in there. I would want you to see each other's point of view in a different light, even if the road getting there would be a little bumpy. That's how we learn and how we grow.

I have a wonderful feeling that the two of you are going to make very good friends.
[/color]

quote:

No, you shouldn't. Quite frankly, if you belonged to Me, I wouldn't have permitted it.

I would want you exploring your feelings. I would want you digging deeper and seeing what's really in there. I would want you to see each other's point of view in a different light, even if the road getting there would be a little bumpy. That's how we learn and how we grow.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level


But are they going to wrestle in jello? Priorities...

Good post, LP, well stated.

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ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

Although this may end up being an unpopular comment, i do believe that there seems to be an attitude of the "big bad Dominant" is always "at fault" (responsible) if something goes wrong and the poor s-type is never "at fault" for choosing unwisely, (please hear dripping sarcasm here) because she was so swept away by either her sub frenzy or his Dominant wiles that she didn't see the huge waving red flags that any other person might see.

Perception is everything, I guess. I have actually seen more threads where a very inexperienced sub was verbally shredded for posting here when things went tits up with hir first "Dom(me)", and has also gotten the crap beat out of hir with said red flags. "You should have known better", and "Just because you are submissive doesn't mean that your brain leaked out your left ear" tend to figure prominently in the remarks on such threads.

That said, as a complete newb to this lifestyle (not that long ago), I fell for the wrong dom, and leaped before I looked. The result was a fairly serious physical injury by a supposedly experienced dom who was just plain careless of my safety.
You can bet that I didn't even consider posting about it here, though. I was in enough pain already, thanks.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

, y'all really aren't Gods.

heartfelt

bitch! ;)

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ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

lmao. Well maybe some of you are.

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Leave it to you Level... to bring it down to jello...  Lady P was correct and I´ve done my thinking, realized my problem and have made nice with Wyldhrt... she is cool and surprisingly a lot like me.   So there will be no jello.... unless we think it might be fun.

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i'm sorry that you had such an experience Wyld, the comments that i made were not directed at you and i hope that they did not cause offense, none was meant. i can also see where it would be a matter of perception and personal experiences.

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Maybe i "see" the other kinds of comments more often because they offend me, i feel very strongly about personal responsibility regardless of what side of the kneel one in on and i find the idea that because one is submissive that makes one incapable of making a good decision (Not that you are saying that, that is just the impression that i get from some comments i have seen from others) also very offensive to me.

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What i am now wondering is on the gender of those who make the different comments, are they harder on women if they come from a woman and vice versa if coming from a man. There may not be a corrolary, but it was an interesting thought.

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Again Wyld, i am sorry that you had such an experience and i hope that my words didn't add to it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

I get where you are coming from, but as someone not long in the lifestyle, my perspective is a bit different. When one first 'discovers' this lifestyle and starts to research, the things that turn up are, TBH, hella confusing. There are sites where online 'doms' direct their online 'subs' to do things in the workplace (the first of those nearly sent me screaming back to nillaville), sites which list 'slave rules', sites which advocate stuff that is a no-no here, sites that make the whole thing seem like a bodice ripper in real life... and everything in between. REAL advice/ experience is rare, and I'll happily thank anyone 'up there' for Collarme.

As for the old "common sense" deelio, I'll step right the hell up and say that my first exposure to BDSM, see above, knocked my needle way the hell off magnetic north for awhile. I was born submissive, something my parents did not approve of, and therefore raised to be in control at all times. Learning to let that go is a tricky thing in any case, and even moreso when one is very inexperienced and struggling against their upbringing to be who they are. "Common sense" sounds great until you realize that many, if not most, new submissives are going against it from the get-go when they get involved in WIITWD.

No worries, heartfelt. It happened, I learned from it, and moved on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious
I understand that a Dom is human and will make mistakes, but it´s going to be the sub that suffers for those mistakes.  Sometimes it seems like the attitude is a little bit glib on the part of the Doms regarding this.  If you mess up we´re the ones with the burn scar from wax to hot, or nerve damage from a crop wielded incorrectly.  It´s a hell of a lot of trust we put in you... a little less glibness would be appreciated.