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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/17/2010 7:56:25 AM

blueeyedbbwsub

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I have to be responsible for *me*. I have to own my own feelings, I try not to project, I have made mistakes and have learned from them. I will inevitably make new mistakes, but I have to own up to that. I haven't had much luck with the Doms I've been involved with so far. One even led to having to involve the police. My self-esteem went down the tank and to this day I'm very leery. I realize that I wear my heart on my sleeve, that I tend to go where I shouldn't. But I am responsible for doing so. I have made a promise to myself that I will be much more careful. Hopefully, I'll be able to follow through.

It wasn't until i was introduced to BDSM that I realized I was submissive. It was my nature to be so from a very early age but when it was explained to me and after doing research for my own benefit I finally came to the WOW that's me to a T. My past behavior finally made some sense and I knew this was it for me. I had a "place" where I belonged and it wasn't wrong to be who I was. If this is some sort of hijack to the thread, I apologize. This isn't my intent. But then I'm responsible

for posting this.

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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/17/2010 6:42:53 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

It's a big word and has bigger consequences!!!

But.. like so many words it's thrown around that I wonder what it's meaning is on occassion.

I see some d-types throw it out as a huge importance and in effect minimizing the s-types responsbilities. All that seems like Ego inflating to me!

I see some s-types actually minimize their responsibilities and put it on the d-type more often than not. All that seems like low self-esteem to me.

I personally see that responsibilities exist for both d-types and s-types. I am not worried about how has more or less... since to me that is more about one's ego than actual upholding one's responsibilties. I believe that there are responsibilities for everyone in a relationship and no one relationship is going to be particularly the same in who those responsibilities will be laid upon.

I am not so sure I have a question here. But I am concerned by seeming disregard and misuse of responsibilties for the sake of one's eqo.

so... what is your take on responsibilities!

(Was there an actual question here?)

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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/20/2010 4:45:59 PM

patina

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I my humble opinion responsibility is for both parties involved, depending on the situation it can be more on the Master side one time then on the slave another time. i hope whom ever is the one who is the most responsible when something goes wrong that person rises up to their potential and fixes the issue. If you can not handle things when all goes bad then you need to state up front so others can take charge.

good luck to all

patina

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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/20/2010 4:51:26 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

so... what is your take on responsibilities!

yup here it is

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RE: Responsibility!!!!! - 4/20/2010 5:37:27 PM

rideemwet

Posts: 93
Joined: 6/12/2009
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My firm rules are that I take responsibility for what I do/or "command" (even if that is a softly put politely phrased command). That includes things that were pre-empted by my commnds.

The sub takes responsibility for anything that happens due to information not provide to me by her (can you say communication), and certainly for anything that happens for failure to do as told (including punishment therefore). Of course that assumes some basics, like timeliness of communication, physical limitations, laws of gravity, etc, etc.

Finally, as the Dominant partner, I need to be willing to assume responsibility for things she communicates (verbally or through actions) that she cannot handle. Thats a supportive role thats part of the dynamic ...

Beyond that, responsibilities are part of the agreements and power exchanges, but at least in my mind these general rules (guidelines) provide a good sliding scale that matches a broad level of interaction/power exchange. I'm looking at it from a Dom/sub perspective not a Master/slave perspective as that is the dynamic that works for me. Ultimately neither party can make the other happy if they're set on being unhappy, and a relationship (vanilla or bdsm) takes effort from both parties. I expect a sub to use her own intelligence and motivation to fulfill her role, and that corresponds to taking some responsibility for the well-being of the relationship. It'll work best if broadly at least, the levels and area of responsiblity I seek are levels and areas of responsiblity that she prefers to relenquish.

Ok, would've preferred to make this shorter but when you start thinking about it, there's always details, exceptions, and things to work out as you go ...

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I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Huh?

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