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Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 12:59:29 PM   
laura2161


Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline 		Hiya,

Something I've run across lately and it has me wondering of other's dynamics. I've seen quite a few profiles of men lately who identify as a Master and in their profile they state (I'm paraphrasing) I am a Master. I will not be your friend. You will be my sub OR you will be my slave (I've seen it both ways) but we will not be friends.

Now, I state in my profile that I am looking for a dominant Man who I also wish to be a friend,lover, confidante etc so obviously I am not compatible with these men but it does have me curious.

For those of you who either identify as a Master or are the s-type to a Master, are you also friends with him/her? Or does friendship not even enter into your dynamic?

Just curious. :-)

Thanks-
Laura


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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 1:07:28 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		i've talked with plenty of potential Owners who also want to be lover, partner, and best friend - which is what i seek as well.

It's all about compatibility.    Obviously the ones who say "I don't want to be your friend" are probably not compatible for you.

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 1:19:31 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I wouldn't hang out with someone if they weren't my friend first. If I didn't like him/her enough to be friends, why would I want to serve them?

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 1:34:03 PM   
blueeyedbbwsub


Posts: 435
Joined: 12/9/2009
Status: offline 		I was in contact with a Dom recently who basically had that thought. "O hun, I never said I looked after my subs". Well then, thanks but no thanks. Even more of a nowaynohownuhhuh when I was told that he wouldn't respect limits.

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 2:02:30 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Slave-lover-daughter-mother-sister-friend...etc. I expect the whole ball of wax in a partner. I think maybe the stuffyou have been reading is from people that see "friends" as "equals" and that upsets the power dynamics. I can't imgaine their reaction to a mother role?

For me, well . . . hell, even the king had a mother and friends. He was still the king.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 4/19/2010 2:03:06 PM >

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 2:06:06 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Carol and I are lots of things to each other all at once... friends, lovers, husband/wife, confidantes, shoulders-to-cry-on, you name it. In amongst all that is also master and slave. For us, this works out very well. All these different roles mesh seamlessly. They do not conflict with each other. Together, they all weave together to form the rich tapestry that is "us".

It should go without saying that other people seek different sorts of relationships and whatever works for them is, by definition, right for them.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 2:39:48 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		I'd wonder about the r/l experience of the majority of those "Masters" because it sounds like the wording of such statements is about the inexperienced donning a preconceived, stereotyped mask to play a role.

As far as I'm concerned, if you're gonna live up close and personal with someone then it can't be adversarial in any way - you have to like each other! And I'm multi-faceted; I enjoy unwinding and sharing as equal, mature adults, too. One girl (the right girl) can easily fulfill all those roles and it takes but the blink of an eye for my best friend to lose the grin and do as she's told.

I think a Master who doesn't wanna be friends is afraid to be themself. They have an ignorant vanilla's knowledge of the lifestyle; it isn't entirely about objectification...!

Focus.

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 2:40:22 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		He's my best friend.

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 2:41:14 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		And I just had to wipe the vomit off my shirt.

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 2:42:55 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Mmmmm. Can I lick it off?



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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 2:48:33 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		As your protector I can't let you do that.

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 2:52:38 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Better he's my friend than my enemy.  Or enema.

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 4:29:15 PM   
astartefinch


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

I'd wonder about the r/l experience of the majority of those "Masters" because it sounds like the wording of such statements is about the inexperienced donning a preconceived, stereotyped mask to play a role.

As far as I'm concerned, if you're gonna live up close and personal with someone then it can't be adversarial in any way - you have to like each other! And I'm multi-faceted; I enjoy unwinding and sharing as equal, mature adults, too. One girl (the right girl) can easily fulfill all those roles and it takes but the blink of an eye for my best friend to lose the grin and do as she's told.

I think a Master who doesn't wanna be friends is afraid to be themself. They have an ignorant vanilla's knowledge of the lifestyle; it isn't entirely about objectification...!

Focus.


Those were my thoughts too on reading the OP, although perhaps not as well worded! I cannot imagine submission without friendship, caring, nurturing, trust..if those things are missing then you only get my body...(well actually you don't get anything) ...when I submit..I give my heart and mind too, I cannot imagine giving that to someone who is not also my friend and my soulmate.

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 4:44:38 PM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline 		He is my best friend and I am his.

It sounds like the masters you are seeing want "friends with benefits without friendship."

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 4:48:52 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		ill run with focus on this and everyone else.

my general feeling on such statements is that people who cannot comprehend a rounded relationship are either in it for transient kicks and want none of the emotional baggage  - usage only or they do not possess the necessary fundamentals that someone with a naturally dominant personality can maintain.

from my experience i have realised that there are plenty of D types who can dominate a situation but they are not necessarily dominant in personality. to give a sub some level of emotional standing in their life means that it would quickly become more egalitarian because their ability to control and maintain authority is more an affectation of the moment rather than an established personality trait that ticks along and ebbs and flows naturally and responds ordinarily (for them) without much effort required.

in other words they can only dominate subjectively or is that objectively - i always get those two confused.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 4/19/2010 4:50:07 PM >

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 4:48:57 PM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I'm on the same page as the rest of you...I can't imagine sharing such intimacy with someone who didn't like me enough to be a friend.

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 4:50:31 PM   
laura2161


Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Slave-lover-daughter-mother-sister-friend...etc. I expect the whole ball of wax in a partner. I think maybe the stuffyou have been reading is from people that see "friends" as "equals" and that upsets the power dynamics. I can't imgaine their reaction to a mother role?

For me, well . . . hell, even the king had a mother and friends. He was still the king.


Very well stated, Thank you.


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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 4:51:10 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

He's my best friend.


Well, that's just tacky.

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 4:54:40 PM   
laura2161


Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

I'd wonder about the r/l experience of the majority of those "Masters" because it sounds like the wording of such statements is about the inexperienced donning a preconceived, stereotyped mask to play a role.

As far as I'm concerned, if you're gonna live up close and personal with someone then it can't be adversarial in any way - you have to like each other! And I'm multi-faceted; I enjoy unwinding and sharing as equal, mature adults, too. One girl (the right girl) can easily fulfill all those roles and it takes but the blink of an eye for my best friend to lose the grin and do as she's told.

I think a Master who doesn't wanna be friends is afraid to be themself. They have an ignorant vanilla's knowledge of the lifestyle; it isn't entirely about objectification...!

Focus.


Those are my feelings as well. Just becasue we are friends doesn't mean I do not submit to the Man I am with- In fact it is because we are friends (and much more) that I am able to submit. ....for me anyway :-)




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'I am not infantile, You StinkyButt Poophead!'

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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 4/19/2010 4:55:48 PM   
laura2161


Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

He's my best friend.


I think that's as great as it can get. Thanks Aileen :-)



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