PrimalConsonance
Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: laura2161
Hiya,
Something I've run across lately and it has me wondering of other's dynamics. I've seen quite a few profiles of men lately who identify as a Master and in their profile they state (I'm paraphrasing) I am a Master. I will not be your friend. You will be my sub OR you will be my slave (I've seen it both ways) but we will not be friends.
Now, I state in my profile that I am looking for a dominant Man who I also wish to be a friend,lover, confidante etc so obviously I am not compatible with these men but it does have me curious.
For those of you who either identify as a Master or are the s-type to a Master, are you also friends with him/her? Or does friendship not even enter into your dynamic?
Just curious. :-)
Thanks-
Laura
Relationships are based on many things, and when I hear about some dominant who takes the "heap big bad" approach towards engaging with submissives; it reminds me of someone putting on aires and is afraid to really invest in what it takes to make a truly strong bond between two people. Perhaps it's good to get that out in the open so you don't have to question where this person is at from the get-go. If you are looking for a real relationship, then pass this uber-Dom/me on by. You would be the better for it in doing so.
As for all relationships, one has to take a look at what is the basis of that relationship to fully appreciate it and act accordingly. In some BDSM pairings, it is and has been a strictly imposed contractual agreement. Not very personal there. Goodness no, not hardly human. You have a set of rules agreed by both parties, and a time limit in which this contract is active and valid. You also have conditions to which either party may dissolve this "partnership" by the criteria set forth. Yikes! Could it be anymore colder and uncaring, I ask you?
Some relationships are forged by a purely physical bond. Not really any emotions than at a friend or acquaintance (that FWB thing so popular, and probably has been for centuries in some form or another) level. BDSM has this too, casual partners and it works for some really well. They may have SOs that are not into BDSM, and find that quench satisfied with someone else that IS into BDSM, and still keep their SO and/or family happy as they are. Nothing wrong with that and this is a modified form of inclusion of BDSM into one's life without the complications of conflict between someone that they truly love, and even perhaps supports them on their needs as well to have BDSM as a part of their partner's happiness. This is a good and strong bond loaded with trust if that is the case...a truly beautiful thing.
Other and more massive majority of relationships are based on friendship. My girl and I are more than just friends. We are friends, lovers, and feel like kindred souls. The fact that we have BDSM in our lives intertwined not unlike spaghetti on a plate, and our M/s or D/s dynamic reflects this completely, is what makes it complete. If you took away the BDSM dynamic, I feel our bond would be as strong because of our basis...we feel so compatible in our natures to each other. We compliment each other in how we are the same and how we are different. Love, respect and communication is the cement for that foundation. We have a credo between us: "Love comes first" is at the front of that.
If you want the relationship to be strong and meaningful, then coming in contact with someone that states something like "I will be your Master but not your friend..." is going to miss out on what you're looking for. I would never get into a BDSM scene with someone I didn't care about...let's see: "I'm holding and wielding something with the potential to kill or maim, and using it someone I really do not care about..." don't sound too good does it? How about: "Hey, I have this person who is using something that could scar me for life, kill all the nerve-endings below my neck, and doesn't care?" MMMMM no thank you. If that sounds alright with you or you get off on that, then there are professionals to help you with this. It may make for a great fantasy, but reality can really suck if something goes wrong.
_____________________________
AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
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RE: Master- Friend or no? - 
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