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My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 1:49:58 PM

Daddysmira

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline

I'm rather new to this and Daddy and I keep in touch on craigslist daily. I recently clicked on His handle and the following post popped up. I don't want to piss Him off by asking about this but how would some of you either deal with it or ignore it?

"Are there many relationships where the guy is gay but in a relationship with a straight woman? Besides hiding the desire to be gay, how else would you deal with it? Come clean and risk losing her?"

I don't know if He's referencing Himself or someone else. And I really don't want to screw up the relationship we have. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Post #: 1

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 1:57:33 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysmira

I'm rather new to this and Daddy and I keep in touch on craigslist daily. I recently clicked on His handle and the following post popped up. I don't want to piss Him off by asking about this but how would some of you either deal with it or ignore it?

"Are there many relationships where the guy is gay but in a relationship with a straight woman? Besides hiding the desire to be gay, how else would you deal with it? Come clean and risk losing her?"

I don't know if He's referencing Himself or someone else. And I really don't want to screw up the relationship we have. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

I don't think you have a lot of options here. Communication is imperative in any healthy relationship. I wouldn't make any assumptions, but I would certainly bring it to his attention and go from there. You have the right to know where you stand.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 2

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 1:57:46 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Ask him about it. You never know, he may have posted it with an underlying thought that you would see it. Lets be honest here... if he is referring to himself, wouldn't it be best to be out in the open with it.. particularly with you? How happy do you think either of you can be with this hanging over your heads? Communication.. open and honest. That's the best advice I can give you.

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 3

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 1:57:52 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysmira

I'm rather new to this and Daddy and I keep in touch on craigslist daily. I recently clicked on His handle and the following post popped up. I don't want to piss Him off by asking about this but how would some of you either deal with it or ignore it?

"Are there many relationships where the guy is gay but in a relationship with a straight woman? Besides hiding the desire to be gay, how else would you deal with it? Come clean and risk losing her?"

I don't know if He's referencing Himself or someone else. And I really don't want to screw up the relationship we have. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

I'd definitely just ask him. Tell him you saw his post on Craigs list and ask him who he was talking about. I would try to make the question as non-threatening/accusatory as possible.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 4

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 1:58:30 PM

BEOURPET

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

If it were me, I would definately discuss it with Him and explore any feeling either of Us may have about it. I tend to believe that communication can solve most issues

Sir J's Lady Patrice

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 5

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 1:59:26 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Don't be sneeky...just ask him. If finding out he's gay won't be a problem, tell him that upfront. Once you ask, LISTEN. Don't interrupt, if you can do that (it's hard sometimes) and let him tell you how he feels.

Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 6

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 2:02:07 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

All I know.. is if it were me... I would just simply ask... are you bi?.... then let the conversation begin when he answers... LOL

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 7

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 2:06:24 PM

LittleKitten1986

Posts: 48
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: New York
Status: offline

Daddysmira
Honestly, if you have suspicion you should try and talk to him about it, but in a manner as to where you’re not coming off as improper. Maybe something like.
"Daddy'
i clicked on Your handle. While doing this i saw a post that said the following... (Insert the post).... i was simply curious as to if this was pertaining to You, or someone You know. "
Also in there, let him know how you would feel if he replied that it was meant towards him. you should never be scared to speak to your Dom mira, that's what part of the relationship is, is a basis of communication as well as trust. i hope this has helped you. i do feel you should be honest and ask.

_____________________________

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
kitten
-i only curl around THE Lady's ankles-
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 8

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 2:08:44 PM

brsugar

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline

I would just ask him. Then discuss the matter. Then go from there. Communication is very important in every relationship.
Keeping it kinky
brsugar

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 9

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 2:12:57 PM

Daddysmira

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline

I sent Him an email. I'm waiting to hear His response. I should I say I'm braced for it?

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 10

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 2:23:46 PM

LittleKitten1986

Posts: 48
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: New York
Status: offline

always be braced for it... but always have an open mind as well mira

_____________________________

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
kitten
-i only curl around THE Lady's ankles-
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 11

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 2:27:24 PM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

I agree. I would ask him about it.

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 12

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 2:29:36 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

but always have an open mind as well mira

I think that's some good advice. Also, take a few minutes and consider that if it's true, and he's been walking around with this secret, he's probably been torn about it.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LittleKitten1986)

Post #: 13

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 2:46:27 PM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysmira
And I really don't want to screw up the relationship we have.

I think you did the right thing by asking him straight out without playing games or assuming things that you are not sure of. A relationship is based on being open and honest...

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 14

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 2:53:46 PM

CanadianGuy

Posts: 219
Status: offline

You did the right thing by asking. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

(in reply to champagnewishes)

Post #: 15

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 3:44:09 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysmira
And I really don't want to screw up the relationship we have. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

As DG has told me, if a question is going to be a deal breaker, better to ask it sooner than later.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 16

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 4:18:31 PM

Daddysmira

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline

He got back to me about 15 minutes later. Asked me if I thought he was and I said no. He said he was joking around on the craigslist and trying to get a rise out of people. I told him if he was I would still be fine with him being my Dom and I would not respect him any less than I do now.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 17

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 5:40:44 PM

Chaingang

Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline

Did I miss the part where where all the red flags sprang up and were waved around, wildly flapping and making those cracking noises?

From the outside of it, I don't believe his reply. And a pretty lady like yourself shouldn't waste time with a person who is that conflicted unless you think you really have something to gain from it. If you are long distance, I'd bail on him now. There is most definitely an odor to his story.

Amusing anecdote: I have a friend that was leading a sad and desperate life and who did not come out even to himself until he was around 35. For years we (i.e. my friends and I) thought he was straight and simply wasn't finding anyone to his liking. In a way we thought he was sort of asexual and antisocial. This went on for 7-10 years. Then he finally came out to himself and to everyone else and we were all so relieved and happy for him because you could at last see a dancing sparkle in his eye. Everyone deserves that happiness.

Question: Given that sad tale of romantic woe, what oppressive part of the world do imagine my friend was living all those years stuck in the closet?

Answer: San Francisco!

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 18

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 5:50:39 PM

NeedToUseYou

Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysmira

He got back to me about 15 minutes later. Asked me if I thought he was and I said no. He said he was joking around on the craigslist and trying to get a rise out of people. I told him if he was I would still be fine with him being my Dom and I would not respect him any less than I do now.

Doh!!!! One less sub on the market. hehe just kidding, sorta.

(in reply to Daddysmira)

Post #: 19

RE: My Daddy posted this. What should I do? - 4/6/2006 5:51:21 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

From the outside of it, I don't believe his reply.

Yes, I have to agree, that reply sounds weak and hollow. I guess it might be true but I'd definitely not consider the subject closed.

If he is gay/bi and he's been hiding it, he may be so used to hiding it, that even when he wants to let the truth out, his defence mechanisms may not let that happen right away. If it were me, I'd keep my eyes and ears open and not let this drop until I was satisfied that I had the truth.

Good luck, this must be a bit nerve-wracking for you. {{{hug}}}

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 20

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