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ORIGINAL: AspX

I know I am probably gonna get crushed for asking these questions because so many people are so defensive about body issues, specifically involving weight. However, this is a set of questions I've had in my mind and I think it will make for an interesting topic as long as people don't get too upset or defensive. This post will only ask the questions and I will provide me own comment and opinion as a response. I am also specifically using the generic terms top and bottom rather than master, domme, sub or slave because each one of these distinctions may have a completely different viewpoint as to this type of service.
 

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As part of a long-term M/s relationship, does anyone here require the bottom to transform their body so that it is more pleasing to their top?

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Do tops view their bottom's physical appearance as a reflection of themselves when they take the bottom out in public (whether it be an actual BDSM activity or just to the grocery store)?

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Does requiring the bottom to journal what they eat, or limit caloric/carb/fat intake, or exercise for a certain amount of time (or in a certain way) in order to make themselves more physically attractive increase the bond of service by having the bottom serve in little ways throughout the entire day?

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Does the top's physical appearance play into the bottom's willingness or attitude towards this type of control (i.e., is the top being a hypocrite because they are severely overweight vs. the top being in good physical shape and wanting the same from their partner)?

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Does it make a difference if a sub is overweight to the point of possible long-term health concerns such as diabetes, high cholesterol, joint issues (ankle, knee and hip problems), etc... by changing the equation from being an issue of "pleasing the top" to one of "taking care of the bottom"?

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Would going the opposite way, the top having a fet fetish and wanting the bottom to increase rather than decrease their size, change your answers to the previous questions?

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As part of a long-term M/s relationship, does anyone here require the bottom to transform their body so that it is more pleasing to their top?

I wouldn't from either side of the equation.


Do tops view their bottom's physical appearance as a reflection of themselves when they take the bottom out in public (whether it be an actual BDSM activity or just to the grocery store)?

No, if someone is going to judge my partner on her weight, then I probably don't care about their opinion.


Does requiring the bottom to journal what they eat, or limit caloric/carb/fat intake, or exercise for a certain amount of time (or in a certain way) in order to make themselves more physically attractive increase the bond of service by having the bottom serve in little ways throughout the entire day?

From the bottom view...No, I would have to wonder why she wanted to micromanage me like that and probably suggest she get a hobby

From the top...Naw, then she would expect me to read the journal and comment on it and I can think of too many things I would rather be doing. I have heard that you can burn a lot of calories with a good sling.

Does the top's physical appearance play into the bottom's willingness or attitude towards this type of control (i.e., is the top being a hypocrite because they are severely overweight vs. the top being in good physical shape and wanting the same from their partner)?

I haven't met any over weight tops who were concerned with their partners weight, but if I did, yes I would consider them to be hypocrites.

Does it make a difference if a sub is overweight to the point of possible long-term health concerns such as diabetes, high cholesterol, joint issues (ankle, knee and hip problems), etc... by changing the equation from being an issue of "pleasing the top" to one of "taking care of the bottom"?

If my partner, top or bottom, is being unhealthy, then yes I would try to get them to address the issue. But that would go for any aspect of their lives, not just their weight. I also know many people who would be considered overweight, who are very healthy.

Would going the opposite way, the top having a fet fetish and wanting the bottom to increase rather than decrease their size, change your answers to the previous questions?

This would need more info, such as the beginning and ending weights. If it is unhealthy, then I would consider it bad. Not sure why it would change any of the questions above though.

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As part of a long-term M/s relationship, does anyone here require the bottom to transform their body so that it is more pleasing to their top?

No. If he didn't enjoy my body to begin with, he wouldn't have bothered with me.

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Does requiring the bottom to journal what they eat, or limit caloric/carb/fat intake, or exercise for a certain amount of time (or in a certain way) in order to make themselves more physically attractive increase the bond of service by having the bottom serve in little ways throughout the entire day?

We don't think so. We hold the opinion that losing weight or quitting anything for the top is bad for the bottom in the long run. Should the relationship fail or the top be taken away by an untimely death, the bottom no longer has a reason to maintain their schedule and will probably fall back on old habits quickly - rapid weight gain is bad for the body. When I lost weight (45 pounds +) it was my job to keep track of my weight loss, not his.

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ORIGINAL: thishereboi

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If my partner, top or bottom, is being unhealthy, then yes I would try to get them to address the issue. But that would go for any aspect of their lives, not just their weight. I also know many people who would be considered overweight, who are very healthy.

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ORIGINAL: AspX


As part of a long-term M/s relationship, does anyone here require the bottom to transform their body so that it is more pleasing to their top?

I would do so if necessary, although I would have to agree that the transformation is healthy. So I'd lose weight to help my general health, but breast implants would be a big no-no.

Do tops view their bottom's physical appearance as a reflection of themselves when they take the bottom out in public (whether it be an actual BDSM activity or just to the grocery store)?

Actually I think it works both ways...

Does requiring the bottom to journal what they eat, or limit caloric/carb/fat intake, or exercise for a certain amount of time (or in a certain way) in order to make themselves more physically attractive increase the bond of service by having the bottom serve in little ways throughout the entire day?

I could see how that might work for me to some small extent, although I'm not really into 'service' as such... I would do it because I want to look good for him.

Does the top's physical appearance play into the bottom's willingness or attitude towards this type of control (i.e., is the top being a hypocrite because they are severely overweight vs. the top being in good physical shape and wanting the same from their partner)?

Hell yes! Hypocrisy is something I hate. If he wants to go cycling and wants me to go too, then I'll happily practise until I can keep up with him and enjoy the experience. If he wants me to lose a stone to fit into a skin-tight latex dress while he is slobbing about in outsize sweat pants and vest, then he would meet resistance

Does it make a difference if a sub is overweight to the point of possible long-term health concerns such as diabetes, high cholesterol, joint issues (ankle, knee and hip problems), etc... by changing the equation from being an issue of "pleasing the top" to one of "taking care of the bottom"?

I would be more likely to treat any change in a positive way if this were the case. Losing weight or making other changes to fit an aesthetic ideal is not flattering - it shrieks (to me) "you are not good enough for me!". But those changes made to help me feel better - it whispers "I care about you and want you to be happy and healthy and around for a long long time"

Would going the opposite way, the top having a fet fetish and wanting the bottom to increase rather than decrease their size, change your answers to the previous questions?

I would not endanger my health in such a way just because my partner has a BBW fetish. There are so many unowned, beautiful BBWs out there I'm sure he'd be better off with one of those!

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ORIGINAL: AspX
Are you saying that physcial appearance is all that matters? What about if someone started as friends and fell in love at that deeper level or if after being in a relationship for ten years the bottom has gained forty pounds because their metabolism has slowed down with age or inactivity? Would that make a difference?

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ORIGINAL: myotherself

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ORIGINAL: AspX

As part of a long-term M/s relationship, does anyone here require the bottom to transform their body so that it is more pleasing to their top?

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I would do so if necessary, although I would have to agree that the transformation is healthy. So I'd lose weight to help my general health, but breast implants would be a big no-no.

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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Cynical I suppose but I'm both incredibly romantic and incredibly cyncial when it comes to relationships.

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ORIGINAL: AspX


Thanks for the answers myotherself...

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ORIGINAL: myotherself

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ORIGINAL: AspX

As part of a long-term M/s relationship, does anyone here require the bottom to transform their body so that it is more pleasing to their top?

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I would do so if necessary, although I would have to agree that the transformation is healthy. So I'd lose weight to help my general health, but breast implants would be a big no-no.

To follow up though, would your "no" answer include other body transformations such as tattoos or piercings or is it limited to things that would require a surgical procedure (breast implants... nose job... etc...). I know it is off the topic a little, but I am just curious.

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ORIGINAL: AspX

I know I am probably gonna get crushed for asking these questions because so many people are so defensive about body issues, specifically involving weight. However, this is a set of questions I've had in my mind and I think it will make for an interesting topic as long as people don't get too upset or defensive. This post will only ask the questions and I will provide me own comment and opinion as a response. I am also specifically using the generic terms top and bottom rather than master, domme, sub or slave because each one of these distinctions may have a completely different viewpoint as to this type of service.

As part of a long-term M/s relationship, does anyone here require the bottom to transform their body so that it is more pleasing to their top?

I've actually packed on about 15 lbs since I meet MsKitty. My lifestyle has changed drastically from walking every where in Philadelphia to driving everywhere in Michigan and Florida.*And* the reality is I have fuckin love handles now. It's not healthy. Fuck body image and how people feel about themselves or me... Heart disease and diabetes run on both side of my family. It's my job to stay healthy and if Ma'am says to me "listen, chunky, get rid of the 15 packer pounds" I should do it not just because I need to but because She said to.

Do tops view their bottom's physical appearance as a reflection of themselves when they take the bottom out in public (whether it be an actual BDSM activity or just to the grocery store)?

Nope. However, I wish some people did. I'm not a fan of the excessively large and disproportionate number of disgustingly overweight people that think that public SM parties are where they should feel good about being fat. And I'm not just talking twenty pounds here...I'm talking hundreds of pounds overweight. The ones where their stomach sacks hang down around their knees. It's nasty...cover it up. 

Does requiring the bottom to journal what they eat, or limit caloric/carb/fat intake, or exercise for a certain amount of time (or in a certain way) in order to make themselves more physically attractive increase the bond of service by having the bottom serve in little ways throughout the entire day?

What you're asking is..."Does She put you on a diet?" Yes. we're sharing a diet. She has to loose weight too because of Her own health....She's down 30 lbs and needs to loose another 20 according to Her doctor because She had a spinal fusion and the weight has already caused a compression deformity. So yeah, we're dieting together.

Does the top's physical appearance play into the bottom's willingness or attitude towards this type of control (i.e., is the top being a hypocrite because they are severely overweight vs. the top being in good physical shape and wanting the same from their partner)?

Yup, cuz I have a two out of three requirement basis of feeling attracted enough to someone to what to play...appearance, intellect/fun, and money. She's got the two out of three and it's my job to get the money. If she wasn't attractive I likely wouldn't be good for playing with Her. We discuss this frequently actually.

Does it make a difference if a sub is overweight to the point of possible long-term health concerns such as diabetes, high cholesterol, joint issues (ankle, knee and hip problems), etc... by changing the equation from being an issue of "pleasing the top" to one of "taking care of the bottom"?

See above.

Would going the opposite way, the top having a fet fetish and wanting the bottom to increase rather than decrease their size, change your answers to the previous questions?

Funny enough, I actually know some gay men who are into chunky guys. And at the same time they don't want to be with unhealthy individuals so they pad themselves and their clothing to get a certain look of being hefty. when they play is done, the padding comes off. For me, this is the only healthy alternative.

There comes a point where weight is a health issue. To only focus on wanting someone to "feel better" about themselves ignores the fact that to be of a certain weight and size is physically unhealthy and destroying their bodies. And for those who find what I put out there offensive, I'll be alive and healthy while these individuals literally rot slowly from the inside because that's what being FAT does to the human body by cutting off circulation and inhibiting natural body flow and movements. Suffering fro heart disease and other weight related issues is like smoking. You don't die quickly...it's not just one massive heart attack... you die very very slowly and very very painfully. I've seen it... repeatedly. I'm not fuckin doin it.

End personal rant.

PS. I already got the piercings because She wanted me to and have held on getting more ink because She wants me to wait.

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ORIGINAL: myotherself

hmmm...that got me thinking!

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ORIGINAL: myotherself

tatts are forever!

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ORIGINAL: AspX



As part of a long-term M/s relationship, does anyone here require the bottom to transform their body so that it is more pleasing to their top?

Do tops view their bottom's physical appearance as a reflection of themselves when they take the bottom out in public (whether it be an actual BDSM activity or just to the grocery store)?

Does requiring the bottom to journal what they eat, or limit caloric/carb/fat intake, or exercise for a certain amount of time (or in a certain way) in order to make themselves more physically attractive increase the bond of service by having the bottom serve in little ways throughout the entire day?

Does the top's physical appearance play into the bottom's willingness or attitude towards this type of control (i.e., is the top being a hypocrite because they are severely overweight vs. the top being in good physical shape and wanting the same from their partner)?

Does it make a difference if a sub is overweight to the point of possible long-term health concerns such as diabetes, high cholesterol, joint issues (ankle, knee and hip problems), etc... by changing the equation from being an issue of "pleasing the top" to one of "taking care of the bottom"?

Would going the opposite way, the top having a fet fetish and wanting the bottom to increase rather than decrease their size, change your answers to the previous questions?