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RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/5/2010 7:14:40 PM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: afkarr

I tend to value what's between the ears far more than what's beneath the neckline, from both sides of the equation. I also tend to attract people who think the same way.

A really cool toy wrapped in last weeks newspaper is far more interesting, fun, and useful than a box of air covered in sparkly paper and curly-q bows.

As a contrary, I tend to think of people like cars...I'm not gonna buy a piece of shit that hasn't been treated well when there's a perfectly well taken care of vehicle just around the corner. It'll last longer and be far more enjoyable to in and around.

While that is true, looks can be deceiving. I remember when my friend sold her car. It looked real nice and shiny. Inside was clean and no damage inside or out. It wasn't until you got inside and noticed that smell. Any one else would wonder WTF, but I was there the day she lost her pet snake, so I didn't wonder.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 41

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/5/2010 7:44:42 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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FR

I think it's great when people can help themselves be better people. I don't see this as a BDSM thing at all. It's not like I'm perfect and have all the answers to make my man more perfect.

I think that I can help my partner be better as much as he can help me be better. I tend to get more exercise when I'm in a relationship as when I'm single because I love going out and doing physical activities with others. I've usually gone for very active men as I know they'll be a good influence on me.

As far as how we get better, the techniques used, different people have things that work better for them. Journalling what we eat, while a good method of becoming more conscious of what we eat, doesn't work well for everyone.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 42

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 6:14:31 AM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

I was not going to reply to this post and then I felt I had to.

First, I treat eating disorders, and that includes anorexia, bulilmia, and obesity. I have had clients who were dangerously underweight and also dangerously overweight. So it is fair to say that what we eat and how much, or how little, is a huge issue.

I will not argue that there is an epidemic of obesity and diabetes II; I will also point out that girls younger and younger are encouraged to feel BAD about themselves and their bodies by six multi-billiondollar industries, so that we buy their hype: the fashion industry, the makeup industry, the self help book industry, the women's magazine industry, the diet industry, and the plastic surgery industry. In addition, we women are expected to NEVER grow old, have extra pounds, wrinkles, gray hair or become less active. It is terribly oppressive and in fact contributes to obesity and other eating disorders, not to mention what it does to our self esteem.

Having spoke my socio political views, on a personal level, I dont believe it is helpful to any one to be another's food police. I think a "T" can assist his/ her "b" by being supportive in a way that the "b" thinks will be helpful. Moreover, I have heard people talk about the "health risks"; let's be careful there. Not all health risks are equal. There is a population called "fat but fit", in other words, people who are clinically overweight, but exercise, eat well, have no chronic health conditions. Could they develop them? Sure, just as thinner people can. The facts are that we are all going to grow old, bag, sag, etc. This is life. Past a certain point, I do think it is unrealistic and shallow to judge or be judged on the basis of our body type.

I am trying to drop some pounds and I have asked my Sir to assist me by eating out less, and having our meals prepared simply (we both cook). If anyone wanted me to write down everything I eat (although I do that for Weight Watchers), I would be horrified. If someone "expected" me to look or be a certain way, I would tell him to order a Barbie from the Sub catalogue - perhaps his perfect Barbie will be there, but certainly not here. I might also point out that his bald head and paunch could use some work as well....as someone else noted.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 43

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 6:23:24 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

my Master has some fairly rigid guidelines he expects me to maintain regarding my weight and fitness level, however he does his bit as well. as Master it is his job to lead and guide in all things, including this. being highly knowledgeable about physical fitness, he developed an exercise routine for me that works for both my body type and skill level. and being sole breadwinner and me being a house slave, it is very easy for him to monitor what i eat. and yes he does check my weight on a regular basis. if i have gained a pound or in some other way failed to meet his standards, i am disciplined for it and am set quickly back on track.

the reality is i would have little motivation to care about my weight or appearance if i were not his slave. but because i am very proud to belong to him and want to not only please him but represent him well, i care very much and that is a huge motivator.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 44

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 7:18:46 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Curious

Posts: 37
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline I know I am probably gonna get crushed for asking these questions because so many people are so defensive about body issues, specifically involving weight. However, this is a set of questions I've had in my mind and I think it will make for an interesting topic as long as people don't get too upset or defensive. This post will only ask the questions and I will provide me own comment and opinion as a response. I am also specifically using the generic terms top and bottom rather than master, domme, sub or slave because each one of these distinctions may have a completely different viewpoint as to this type of service.

As part of a long-term M/s relationship, does anyone here require the bottom to transform their body so that it is more pleasing to their top?

Do tops view their bottom's physical appearance as a reflection of themselves when they take the bottom out in public (whether it be an actual BDSM activity or just to the grocery store)?

Does requiring the bottom to journal what they eat, or limit caloric/carb/fat intake, or exercise for a certain amount of time (or in a certain way) in order to make themselves more physically attractive increase the bond of service by having the bottom serve in little ways throughout the entire day?

Does the top's physical appearance play into the bottom's willingness or attitude towards this type of control (i.e., is the top being a hypocrite because they are severely overweight vs. the top being in good physical shape and wanting the same from their partner)?

Does it make a difference if a sub is overweight to the point of possible long-term health concerns such as diabetes, high cholesterol, joint issues (ankle, knee and hip problems), etc... by changing the equation from being an issue of "pleasing the top" to one of "taking care of the bottom"?

Would going the opposite way, the top having a fet fetish and wanting the bottom to increase rather than decrease their size, change your answers to the previous questions?

Aspx,

Well your right, it is a sensitive subject but one that tends to weaken relationships when one partner or the other stops caring about the image they project.

Thuis for me, it is simply a parameter that can not be broken.

CP

(in reply to AspX)

Post #: 45

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 7:42:40 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Simply put I am married to a BBW and have no issues in general regarding such things unless someone is grossly overweight and is hardly able to move. Idealistically, I do like a lass with a reasonably flat tummy, toned and athletic body but who also has delectable curves too. However this is not terribly important. Nor do I demand huge breasts. There appears to be a belief in some areas, especially here in Australia that guys and especially big guys prefer a woman to have huge boobs. I like a woman to be in proportion besides, being a boob man, I have found that often very large boobs do not have the sensitivity as those smaller ones (something about the sensory points are closer together I believe). Sensitive boobs are a huge delight to me, as are largish nipples. More importantly, it is the person which I am interested primarily and the rest is just a bonus so if she is desirable to me I will enjoy the physical attributes she has.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to AspX)

Post #: 46

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 7:54:26 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I have not required anyone to lose weight, but my former submissive and a couple of the Tops that I dated asked for my help. Each of them lost a considerable amount of weight (over 30 pounds) while we were dating. I didn't use punishment to enforce it, or micro-manage their meals. I did go shopping with them the first few times to help them get healthy food. I gave them links to various websites with recipes that focused on healthy food, and we went over labels briefly. We found physical activities we both enjoyed, and did them together. It's not all kinky like what you described, but it worked! I wouldn't have started dating them if they had been so overweight that I wasn't attracted to them, and I didn't bring the subject up.

I wanted to lose about 10 pounds, and asked my Master's permission first before starting. Once I brought it up, he said he would prefer me to do so, but that he was very much still attracted to me as I was. Again, I did most of the work, but did report in to him regularly.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 5/6/2010 7:56:24 AM >

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 47

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 11:21:38 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Health tip I hear fish oil is good for lowering blood sugar. I dont have first hand knowledge tho.

BadOne

_____________________________

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According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 48

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 11:25:40 AM

afkarr

Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: afkarr

I tend to value what's between the ears far more than what's beneath the neckline, from both sides of the equation. I also tend to attract people who think the same way.

A really cool toy wrapped in last weeks newspaper is far more interesting, fun, and useful than a box of air covered in sparkly paper and curly-q bows.

As a contrary, I tend to think of people like cars...I'm not gonna buy a piece of shit that hasn't been treated well when there's a perfectly well taken care of vehicle just around the corner. It'll last longer and be far more enjoyable to in and around.

I'll take a trusty, rusty old Chevy with a 450 big block over a shiny new aveo with a 4 cylinder sewing machine under the hood any day. Bottom line is, looks can be deceiving, never judge a book by it's cover, and beauty is only skin deep, while ugly goes clear to the bone. For me, it still comes down to the person, not the package.

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 49

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 12:23:52 PM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

Ha! I'm driving a V8 right now too. And research has shown me that the rubber seals in a V8 tends to fall apart fast and V8 engines often require more maintenance over the years than smaller engines. I understand the need for a more powerful vehicle in Michigan as opposed to Fl and I'll buy American any day over foreign because a truck isn't supposed to weigh less than a sports car....no matter who makes the sports car. My point is, if I see the outside of the car hasn't been well maintained, I'm definitely going to have to make sure to pay for the intense inspection instead of the once over when buying it. If the car looks good, then I'm gonna pay for the once over unless something pops up during the test drive.

The test drive is dating. And lets be real, people are not all high and mighty about looking more than skin deep...not in their actions. If someone doesn't get your dick hard when they walk by, we're not likely to ask them how they feel about going out sometime. There is base sexual attraction that has to occur first or we don't get involved. If you only every put used sludge under your hood, don't expect the vehicle to last that long...the same goes for people. I'm the type that wants my vehicle to out live me...so I expect it to be well maintained.

boi

Who also bitches about people driving ragged, run down shitters on the free way that can't go more than 15 miles an hour before falling apart.

PS...snakes...really? ewwwww lol

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to afkarr)

Post #: 50

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 1:15:05 PM

MadeiraDarling

Posts: 30
Joined: 3/16/2010
Status: offline

Frankly, I think between even vanilla couples there should be a certain level of taking care of one's appearance for one's partner, my girlfriend and domme I know wouldn't accept my gaining a lot of weight, or suddenly changing my appearance in some way she disliked, and as frankly, she's the one who has to look at me, I respect her wishes. Similarly, I know she makes sure she looks attractive as well, although I do not "require" it, as I am the submissive, she knows I wouldn't stand for her not to maintain her looks (she's far too lovely to let them go to waste)

< Message edited by MadeiraDarling -- 5/6/2010 1:16:19 PM >

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 51

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 1:33:39 PM

afkarr

Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Health tip I hear fish oil is good for lowering blood sugar. I dont have first hand knowledge tho.

BadOne

It's cinnamon for regulating blood sugar, fish oil for cholesterol and triglyceride regulation and rumored to be helpful in delaying effects of alzheimers and enhancing fetal brain developement

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/569279
http://care.diabetesjournals.org/content/30/9/2236.full
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fish_oil

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 52

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 1:55:03 PM

Wheldrake

Posts: 477
Status: offline

I once belonged to a woman who imposed some moderate diet and exercise requirements on me. I found the exercises boring, and it was a little frustrating at times to not be allowed to eat what I wanted and to have to think more than usual about what I was eating. It was also sometimes socially awkward to not be allowed to indulge. However, I actually found it kind of hot that she was effectively reshaping my body to suit her expectations, and I never worried very much about whether it was primarily for my health and fitness or her aesthetic pleasure. It made me feel owned, subservient, and delightfully objectified.

(in reply to AspX)

Post #: 53

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 4:16:18 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I dont believe it is helpful to any one to be another's food police. I think a "T" can assist his/ her "b" by being supportive in a way that the "b" thinks will be helpful.

Just like a "b" can assist his/her "T" by being supportive in a way that the "T" thinks it's helpful.

I get so annoyed when people assume (and I'm not suggesting you do Firebird) that Tops are like gurus that help the poor lost bottoms. Actually, correction, it's more than annoyed. It squicks me on a very deep level.

If people need help with any disorder or malfunction in their personality or behaviour, they need to seek professional help, not a kink partner to get through it.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 54

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 4:20:52 PM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

Lady A,

I think I love you...shhh...don't tell Domi

boi

< Message edited by BoiJen -- 5/6/2010 4:21:07 PM >

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 55

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 4:24:36 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Lady A,

I think I love you...shhh...don't tell Domi

boi

It will be our little secret, cutie pie ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 56

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 4:39:38 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Taking another tack on the OP's OP, I strongly believe that I have an ethical and moral duty as well as simply a duty of care to do what ever I am able including encouragement and seeking professional help when applicable to ensure the well being of slaves in my care and in both my and the House Collars. After I was taught that is part of being a Master.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 57

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 5:01:19 PM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

I am not saying we should not help one another with our personal goals, including weight loss. I am not saying we should not care about our appearance, and I always have irrespective of who was or was not in my life. What I am saying is that it is very oppressive to REQUIRE someone be molded to another's specifications. We ARE all different, are we not? I will never have a body like Cher.

I am also saying that people age and our bodies change. That is a reality of life. A woman - or a man - in his or her 50's does not have the same body as when we were in our 20's, and as a woman, it is very oppressive to me if someone evaluates me by those unrealistic standards. Moreover, as others have pointed out, we are more than bodies, are we not?

In reply to the posts in general.

I also hear that a few extra pounds are an issue for a lot of people. And that often gets thinly disguised as "health concerns". Health concerns, my ass. Or should I say "Health concerns, my AMPLE ass".

< Message edited by Firebirdseeking -- 5/6/2010 5:02:36 PM >

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 58

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 10:50:42 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I also hear that a few extra pounds are an issue for a lot of people. And that often gets thinly disguised as "health concerns". Health concerns, my ass. Or should I say "Health concerns, my AMPLE ass".

But, perhaps such issues for those people really are "Health Concerns" - - - Their Heath Concerns albeit their Mental Health Concerns.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 59

RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 5/6/2010 11:32:17 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

Yes, there are Dominant type partners, that require this from the one(s) they are with. I know for me, if I c hose to dress very sloppily to the point of looking like a hobo or something, he probably would say it does reflect on him when we're out and about. There are, appearance restrictions he places on me if we're going to his place of work, for one example, I can't wear the night gown that looks a dress. He don't care that tons of people compliment me about how beautiful or nice my "dress is" and it can indeed pass as a dress. For him, he knows it's a night gown, and he don't think I look my best in it. So, if I want to go to eat at his work place when he's off duty and takes me, I have to wear something other than the night gown I pass off as a dress.

Of course you were probably asking about body stuff an not clothing stuff, but since Daddy doesn't control my weight, nor believe my weights a reflection of him, I chose the clothing option.

And hell yes, his appearance, and how he kept himself would play into how willing I was to let him control certain aspects revolving around food and exercise and dress. If he was a fat slob, and dressed like one, I wouldn't let him dictate to me how to dress and eat. I believe in the leader doing what he wants the follower to do if he desires them to follow.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AspX

As part of a long-term M/s relationship, does anyone here require the bottom to transform their body so that it is more pleasing to their top?

Do tops view their bottom's physical appearance as a reflection of themselves when they take the bottom out in public (whether it be an actual BDSM activity or just to the grocery store)?

Does the top's physical appearance play into the bottom's willingness or attitude towards this type of control (i.e., is the top being a hypocrite because they are severely overweight vs. the top being in good physical shape and wanting the same from their partner)?

(in reply to AspX)

Post #: 60

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