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angelikaJ -> RE: what is happening? (5/8/2010 6:25:48 AM)
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Maggie,
I would like to give this a shot but you did not seem receptive to other responses to your posts.
quote:
ORIGINAL: maggieg
Ok were do I begin here.......never done this before! Ok I do believe I am a very strong, yet submissive woman. I have only had one "Master" I do hate titles! It was all very complex, and all came crashing down. This part of my problem I think, well that is why I am about to ask for advice.
I find myself yet again at the begining of a similar sistuation. I saw a profile and face I rather liked so I wrote, he wrote back. We chatted and text for a few days, I wanted to meet to see if I was right about the chemistry. He hesitated as he does not like to rush things, fair enough but we did anyway.
>>He agreed to meet with you when you put pressure on him... it seems as though you want someone to be your "Master" but you want to call the shots...?
He pulled up next to me.......I thought it was my first "Master" that on it's own blew my mind to bits. I composed myself, got out of my car. We went in the hotel for a drink, I was like bambi caught in the headlights. He knew where I was and what I was feeling, I could hardly breath.
>>I think you are probably projecting that he knew your thoughts and feelings.
That is a common occurance for some women, it isn't a bad thing per se but it does tend to lead you into fantasy land.
You see reading this back I think.......hello this does not happen in the real world....yet I know it does! Ok so we go to the car, he gets in. My heart is pounding, he kisses me.......................jesus! The mental became physical, it blew me away. He would not touch me, it was like torture! I am very sexual very very very by the way. I accepted this. He never needed to! We chatted, kissed I wont go into explicit detail, but subzone came at me in bounds. I was useless, and helpless......tears ran out of my eyes. Things happened that day I could not explain.
>>Maggie,
You were more than ready for something to happen but from the rest of the post this was just a first meeting to him. That does not mean he deceived you in any way, it just means that you read much more into it than was there.
We went our seperate ways, to be in touch. It all started going wrong, in my head anyway. Apart from the obvious thing of still being in a really heightend state, I left not really understanding where I stood.
>>Maggie,
You kind of know that the issue is that in your head you pushed the fast forward button and then pulled it all apart.
The man that you fancy understands the wisdom of not rushing things.
This all happened last week, short time ago I know. Here is what happened since....... The texts have been a lot fewer, ok he works no worries just let me know.
>>I think he likely did (because you have an awareness of it it).
Then when I say this he says.......there is no us! nothing has started! hello........didn't it? that is the first question to you all???? Had I begun a journey with this man? who tells me how lovely, smart everything I am!
>>Maggie, what happened is that you began chatting with him, felt something, met, had a drink and talked and kissed. I am pretty sure that as you read this you are saying "No, no, that wasn't it at all. It was so much more than that." And you are of course right. It was more than that... to you.
I log on to the net he is there, does not say hello! I mean contact between us was a lot, now 24 hours without any contact. I told him last night, after chatting with a friend who is Dom I could not carry this on.
I feel like he is playing games, his reply to me........ what have I done wrong? all we are doing is communicating!!!!!
>> Maggie-- A secret? For the most part men hate communicating about "the relationship" especially when there isn't one... yet.
He says he won't see me again for at least 6 weeks, and will be in touch when he gets back.
>>So wait and see, or don't... your choice.
I have no idea what is going on other than I don't need another friend, I want a "Master" I get lots of attention off men, vanilla and otherwise. Being very sensual and sexual it is hard to resist, but try to.
I had started a journey in my mind, then hit a brick wall!
>>That is exactly what happened. You started a journey in your mind. In the vanilla dating world, I suppose it's equivalent is going on a first date and shopping wedding dresses the following week.
Help am I always going to be this impatient, unsure????
He says I am insecure, maybe I am.
>>I think "insecure" is part of it. I think you really hunger for connection and belonging and until you have those holes filled it is going to be hard to have a fulfilling relationship unless you have a very patient master.
He says he is busy and not on msn its on in the background, yet he had logged on to cm.
>>It really is not your business if he logs onto msn, cm, or espn.
Oh maybe it's just me! Help????
>>You don't seem at all happy with the suggestion that it is you, do you? The other option is of course is that it is just him. If it is always "him", always them then how are you going to be able to grow by taking responsibility for your own mistakes and learning from them? Do you really want to be in the same confused position wondering what you did wrong year after year?
Best wishes.
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