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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 12:06:22 PM   
laurell3


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterGoad88

I COULDN"T give two SHITS what MY partner THINKS she wants.  Thta's why I'M the MASTER and she's the SLUTWHORESLAVE.  What the fuck kind of MASTER would ever give a FUCK about his "partner"


Perhaps one whose partner is not inflatable?




Ok that made me laugh, twice. Thanks Steven.

OP: I think the reason you do it is because you trust them and care for them. The whole slave vs. sub thing really is just confusing labeling and in my opinion, not helpful to try to pin down, because it's different for everyone. Everyone's measure of what they will do or not is different. Everyone's ability to just follow blindly is different. However, I think it's difficult to examine those motivations outside of the context of the relationship and it has been my experience that that measure increases dramatically with someone that you care for and trust and things you thought would be really difficult become pleasurable because that person you care for really likes them. From your OP it seems that is already happening with the shoe thing and in my experience, as the relationship grows it happens alot more.

I personally give them a roadmap of where I will not go and then it's up to them to define the course. I will still ask them about things after the event, just to know them better, sometimes. However, I can remember being new to this and wanting to have more information prior, and there's nothing wrong with that, especially with a new partner.



< Message edited by laurell3 -- 5/9/2010 12:12:30 PM >

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 12:31:24 PM   
MasterGoad88


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Status: offline 		I don't care at ALL I dont' have PARTNERS I have PROPERTY

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 12:50:05 PM   
jbcurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterGoad88

I don't care at ALL I dont' have PARTNERS I have PROPERTY


How's that basement flat workin' out for ya?

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 1:58:32 PM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

Are you accepting if it takes some time to get to the "just do it" stage or is that something you look for in the nature of the sub?


Depends on what the situation is. There has to be a general, and significant ability and desire to "just do it" right off the bat. Now, if there are a small number of "sticking points", there is a willingness to work with her on them.

One that pops in my head is the ability to take pain. Things like appearance, behaviour, etc, however, need to be "turn key".

< Message edited by Level -- 5/9/2010 2:21:35 PM >

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 2:02:08 PM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterGoad88

I COULDN"T give two SHITS what MY partner THINKS she wants. Thta's why I'M the MASTER and she's the SLUTWHORESLAVE. What the fuck kind of MASTER would ever give a FUCK about his "partner"


THANK you for that STUNNING post. It was BADASS. Bet your inbox is FULL NOW, huh?

See how much more DOMINATE I AM, WITH MY CAPS STUCK ON???

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 2:05:48 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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quote:

Bet your inbox is FULL NOW, huh?


Bet it is, Level, only not with the kind of messages he wants. I don't know if you've noticed but us s-types can be kinda....well....vicious... when need be. *sharpens teeth*


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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 2:08:00 PM   
jbcurious


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Status: offline 		Thanks for your answer Level.

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 2:10:36 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterGoad88

I don't care at ALL I dont' have PARTNERS I have PROPERTY


Achewallly your profile says you are looking for property....and I quote: I am a PROUD WHITE AMERICAN looking for OBEDIENT WHITE WOMEN ONLY <snip>

Good luck with that....


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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 3:30:00 PM   
Andalusite


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quote:

ORIGINAL: delicatelydirty
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
He only asks me to do things because what he is asking for is important to him, not because he "can".
He never makes me jump through hoops just to emphasize his domliness.

That's a huge thing right there....  and I think the point I was trying to make, if the guy is an ass who wanted me to do that.... we would never get to Master/ slave scenario anyways.

My former Dominant of 3 years occasionally had me do something (or did something to me) because he thought it was amusing, and my Master does so once in a while, too. For example, my former Dominant once had me make different noises for having each nipple pinched and each breast slapped, then used that to have me make noises to the tune of various songs. Sure, it was jumping through hoops, and it didn't turn him on extremely, but he liked that he had the power to make me do it, and I didn't mind or find it degrading. *shrugs* It made me feel used in a good way, and we both had a good chuckle over it afterward.

jb, I really haven't run into problems with this in my former D/s relationships or current M/s relationship, but I did turn down a few possible dominants because they wanted me to feel humiliated or objectified by things that didn't inspire those reactions in me. It was even more of a problem for me with possible submissive men, since the whole forced feminisation thing felt extremely sexist in motivation to me. I wouldn't have minded dressing them up as women, but their feeling humiliated by it irked me.

I sometimes enjoy doing things to my playpartner because I like watching her reactions, or I think it's fun/amusing/interesting to play with particular mindsets or words. For example, at the next playparty where there are enough people, I'm going to "forcibly feminise" her by having her show up wearing a baseball cap, men's underwear/socks, and a men's button-up shirt and jeans, then wrestling her out of them into a cocktail gown, heels, a garter belt with stockings, and a thong. I got fed up with all the male submissives who wanted me to forcibly feminise them, so I find the idea of taking it so literally hilarious - and she thinks it sounds like fun, too!

Level, your comment about the submissive wanting a particular mindset, not just an activity, really spoke to me because of that. I even had a couple of men demand that I orgasm solely from watching them parade around in panties - it was *not* realistic at all!

Kyra, I agree, I want to understand more about his motivations so I can understand and please him better, not because he has to justify his reasoning in order for me to obey! I do like discussing it with him, but I try to do so when we're in the car or have some time free to chitchat, not when he has just told me to do something. That would just feel like inappropriate timing.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 5/9/2010 3:36:12 PM >

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 4:13:26 PM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I have to admit you've given me a good giggle with some of your scenarios...

And what you and Kyra are saying is what I'm talking about. I'm still at the "getting to know him" stage and we won't meet for another 3 weeks. Knowing his motivation, understanding what certain acts mean to him put them in a light that negates the fear and allows me to embrace the idea. Getting to know and understand him now will hopefully mean I don't feel the need to question him in the future.


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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 4:21:30 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		All this comes down to simple talking, no matter the relationship.


Whether it's a play partner or a lifetime relationship folks have to talk. Other wise I don't see how it can be rewarding in any fashion.

If you don't understand your partners motivation, how are you going to connect at all. Even if it is a shallow beat and fuck. I think you still need to know where each other are coming from.


EVEN IF YOU ONLY WANT PROPERTY!!!!!. YOU NEED TO BE AWARE YOU WHY SHE/HE WANTS TO BE PROPERTY!!!!!!!!!!!



( last line cap'd to demonstrate how DOMINATE!!! I really am)




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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 4:28:10 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

last line cap'd to demonstrate how DOMINATE!!! I really am)


Didn't work....try again, but bolded


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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 4:30:55 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		SON OF A BITCH!


YOU SHALL NOT BECOME PROPERTY!!!!!!!

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 4:55:07 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

SON OF A BITCH!


YOU SHALL NOT BECOME PROPERTY!!!!!!!


Too late!!!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha my already is property *sticks out tongue*


_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 4:59:00 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well, you are obviously a fixer upper!

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 5:01:11 PM   
domiguy


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Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterGoad88

I don't care at ALL I dont' have PARTNERS I have PROPERTY


You gotta love New Jersey.....lol.


I am a PROUD WHITE AMERICAN looking for OBEDIENT WHITE WOMEN ONLY who appreciate the kind of CONTROL and PAIN an experienced DOM like ME can provide.


Is this Shore's other profile....What is in their drinking water?

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 5:07:59 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Well, you are obviously a fixer upper!


lol, I prefer "work in progress"


_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
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Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 5:09:23 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I just hope the taxes aren't too bad.


You are probably in a poor school district huh?


:)

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RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 5:12:28 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		Not really, no. Why, does it make a difference? *looks worried*

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Is understanding your partners motivation important? - 5/9/2010 5:14:54 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oooooo... I am hoping that the Inspector Tim hired was bonded.


Nothing is more important when getting PROPERTY!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
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