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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

I always find it interesting when people revert to calling other people catty and immature like it was some kind of reprimand when they ask the tough questions. That doesn't reflect well on you.

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I've always found your posts to be quite interesting and always open minded enough to have a good debate about concepts without taking things so personally. I'm actually quite surprised with your reaction throughout this thread. Earlier on I mentioned we might be at an impasse and your retort to me was less than collegial. It seems you need to be reminded that there are points of views other than your own in the world.

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That said, the cattyness was your perception. I was trying to support LuckyAlbatross's point that second and third times are just as valid and that this first time is some great big myth used to keep women virgins. I have a tendency of asking questions in the devil's advocate kind of way in order to make some people realise the implications of some of their broad sweeping generalisations. It is a technique commonly used in a friendly debate. It's unfortunate you're predisposed to read it as malice and chose to let your feathers be ruffled.

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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


Now this relates to the OP is that some of the arguments are that her first experience would somehow be diminished. I don't think those same arguments would have been used if the OP was a male sub. I'm not "accusing" anyone of chauvinism (lest I be accused of being catty again) but I am pointing out some of the ways we as a society have been wired to think.

- LA[/font]

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika



I've always found your posts to be quite interesting and always open minded enough to have a good debate about concepts without taking things so personally. I'm actually quite surprised with your reaction throughout this thread. Earlier on I mentioned we might be at an impasse and your retort to me was less than collegial. It seems you need to be reminded that there are points of views other than your own in the world.

my what a high horse you are on... yes I understand you are the superior being.

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Frankly, you almost sound like me in your postings and I am using myself as a pejoritive...food for thought Sir.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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Frankly, you almost sound like me in your postings and I am using myself as a pejoritive...food for thought Sir.

I will take that as a compliment ;)

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Using fast reply....

I think only Lovingpet will know what wearing that collar temporarily meant to her, and what if any effect it will have on her and their relationship.

The quirky little goth girl I saw a few times earlier this year wore collars as part of her daily adornment. Another person will place, almost spiritual, value on one. For some it's a dog collar put on them as a humiliation for temporary play, for others a custom jeweled adornment signifying a lifetime commitment.

To argue what it means now and in the future, for another, is futile. To make a snarky judgment of what it means to another person, is asinine.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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In answer to your question, yes I do want this.  Risk and all. 

then quit making excuses and practicing. You are only cheating yourself of the actual experience. Embrace the experience of being his slave. Whatever those experiences happen to be.

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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Frankly, you almost sound like me in your postings and I am using myself as a pejoritive...food for thought Sir.

I will take that as a compliment ;)

It wasn't but you know that.

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet
This is like the big "r"/little "r" relationship thing.  This was a collar.  That, in the future, will be a Collar.  One is far more significant than the other.  The analogy is all wrong, but it is like the ring (engagement) and the Ring (wedding band)...far, far, far more significant regardless of the emotion attached to receiving either of them.  The collar in and of itself is not the significant thing here. It is the collar-ing that matters.  It is that last payment on the car or house that makes it MINE.  It's that handing of the diploma or degree to me showing that this credential is now MINE.  It is a moment in time that says basically, "It's official".  I may have valued these things and treated them as mine long before those moments, but they weren't mine.  Things are now different, but the same. 

lovingpet

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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In answer to your question, yes I do want this.  Risk and all. 

then quit making excuses and practicing. You are only cheating yourself of the actual experience. Embrace the experience of being his slave. Whatever those experiences happen to be.

This is perhaps the best piece of advice I've seen posted on this thread.

Blah Blah Blah, people turn to the message board at times looking for "gems" of advice to help their relationship, not rip it to fuck to shreads. It's actually a little comical to read some of the drama fuel judgemental bullshit that's 180 degree off course from the topic or without regard to what the OP presented.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I agree with you that the above is good advice.  I don't agree that those of us who would have chosen to do something different are particularly being judgmental.  I will say that I probably would have been a little firmer in My application of a collar.  Her Master chose to make an exception for this occasion.  I would not.

If anybody wants to type up a thread and only hear the yes, yes, yes everybody would make exactly the same decisions and do things exactly the same way, they are probably going to be rather disappointed.

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
Basically, she comes looking for advice regarding her own issues dealing with this matter. Ends up hearing what a push over softy Dom/Master he was for giving into her request.

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet
It's going to be a process.

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
LadyPact, :-) please know my comment was not directed at you. Rather at those those that best fit the whole concatenated string of decriptives I used. The judgemental part was only one of many qualifers. :-) Judgement is always a slipperly slope, it's always easier for us to judge how we would or would not deal with a situation.

Generally speaking, when somebody is looking for advice on the message board, it's best to not make the issue about ourselves. Does it really matter how Firm or not her Dom/Master was in the application of the collar for this occasion, when he's made it pretty clear regarding "the Overall, Big Picture Application of it"? Regardless if he had or had not granted her request for the collar for this occasion, it really does not change the big picture of things.

Basically, she comes looking for advice regarding her own issues dealing with this matter. Ends up hearing what a push over softy Dom/Master he was for giving into her request. Almost like he allowed her to top his ass from the bottom. When the fact remains, he's not giving in or budging on the Big Picture level.

What? should she become resentful that he's not being DOM enough? Should be be resentful towards him? Should she be hating herself for having requested this and he filled it for this special occasion. It's not like she went head to toe with him and demanded she wear his collar or else. lol This just cracks me the fuck up.

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Basically, she comes looking for advice regarding her own issues dealing with this matter. Ends up hearing what a push over softy Dom/Master he was for giving into her request. Almost like he allowed her to top his ass from the bottom. When the fact remains, he's not giving in or budging on the Big Picture level.

What? should she become resentful that he's not being DOM enough? Should be be resentful towards him? Should she be hating herself for having requested this and he filled it for this special occasion. It's not like she went head to toe with him and demanded she wear his collar or else. lol This just cracks me the fuck up.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Applying the situation to ourselves and try to give what we think or how we would feel about the situation has a lot more value than patting someone on the head.  In the original, she asked very specifically how these things work.  I don't think she was looking only for those for whom felt the difficulties of what the situation entailed.  Not just those who would have chosen the same solution.

Even in My first response on this thread, I told her that it would have made Me sad to see how important this was to her when I still told her no.  Not just because of her disappointment, but because there's bigger stuff at play here.  I think that it's possible that he wants her to share his definition of slavery.  The obstacles preventing that, well, some of them are her own doing.  Only she's going to be able to change that.  It's not going to have anything to do with whether or not I would have done the same thing as her owner.