RE: i goofed up

RE: i goofed up (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

sirsholly -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 4:41:21 AM)
quote: I'm beginning my second week of no smoking...newbie at exercise classes x 1 month.........and now the diet...... i am biting off a lot right now.....plus Master and i are new. ty for your input....... sheeeeesh......"biting off a lot" is an understatement!!!

DarkSteven -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 4:43:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet Whereas I'm beginning my second week of no smoking...newbie at exercise classes x 1 month.........and now the diet...... i am biting off a lot right now.....plus Master and i are new. ty for your input....... Well, gee, that's it right there. You're trying to change THREE things in your life right now. Helpful hint - there WILL be occasional lapses. Just treat 'em like speed bumps and try to focus on the smokeless/toned goal rather than the glitch itself.

DesFIP -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 4:55:06 AM)
OP, changing someone's eating habits is extremely tough. If he didn't know this, the blame is on him. If he did but still can't be bothered giving you a learning curve, shame still on him. You can't change someone's taste buds overnight. You change one small thing at a time and give them time to adapt. Going from meat and potatoes to raw food in one fell swoop is a set up for failure. Beyond that, most workable diets do allow people to have small amounts of favorite unhealthy foods on occasion. Eating a banana split is excessive. Having one scoop of ice cream on Saturday night is something that is perfectly acceptable. If this plan doesn't work for you, then you need to tell him. Otherwise this will happen again and again. He has to take into account your tastes. And since he didn't, it's pretty apparent he isn't a nutritionist who can do this.

January -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 6:24:48 AM)
Fast reply... I think he's demanding way too much out of you. Quitting smoking is horrible: you gain weight automatically, you need to snack constantly (usually horrible junk food) to satisfy that oral fixation, you're irritable, and it hurts. At least that's the way it was for me. I quit cold turkey about 20 years ago, after trying to quit at least five times before... Quitting was very painful. I still smoke in my dreams sometimes! Anyway, all of these goals you and your man have are good. You just can't reach them at the same time. You need empathy from him, not us. Ordering you to "get healthy" without considering how difficult it might be, strikes me as impatient. His inexperience as a Dom is irrelevant here, I think. He should be using his knowledge about people. Smoking is likely the biggest threat to your health, and the hardest to stop... tackle that one without worrying about the other two and give it many months. Worry about the rest of your health issues later. January

loverly -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 6:43:57 AM)
BABY STEPS! baby steps! .... it has taken you THIS long to get to this point.. so it figures that it will take a while to achieve the goals you wish.... Remain positive .. i am sure your Master is a reasonable person and understanding or You wouldnt belong to Him (?) ....Communicate honestly with Him and often...perhaps you need Him to be more focused or involved than was first imagined... none of it is easy... Remember that it is expected to feel badly when we let down the most important person in our life! But moving forward is important and not dwelling on slipping! Maybe HE needs to rethink His thoughts on the amount of change you should be making at one time....for someone who doesnt have these " addictions" it may seem easy and make sense to go cold turkey.. i hope when he sees you are sincere and wanting to make the positive life changes for yourself AND Him He will understand. i am much in the same boat of needing life changes and not being focused enough on me to do this for myself...i am not sure why but i know from experience that i need help. Be THANKFUL that you have Him there encouraging you and helping you to be the best you can be.. some of us are not so lucky !! Focus on that and the JOY of being with Him and Him with you and the rest will happen...There is NO NEGITIVE here.. just positive! and the process of doing this together will only serve to bring you closer ( or should) as long as everyone remains firmly in reality and positive! Afterall.... it is what is suppose to be happening.. Him guiding you to a better longer life and you following His directions... The JOY of doing it Together is the glue that binds.. the ropes are only for entertainment! lol

loverly -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 6:45:43 AM)
YES! what January said!!! Once one thing is conqured ( smoking) the rest will come more easily!!! and naturally i think.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 7:21:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet ty sweetsub! You're very welcome. [;)]

bestheadyet -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 8:43:09 AM)
my life is a compilation of little lies. where has that gotten me........Master has asked me to be accountable. honesty is so important in a relationship. hadn't had one in so long..... hope its like riding a bike!

leadership527 -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 9:48:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Helpful hint - there WILL be occasional lapses. Just treat 'em like speed bumps and try to focus on the smokeless/toned goal rather than the glitch itself. You know, at first I really liked this answer. But then I got to thinking about it and changed my mind. Carol has struggles with these same things and we are doing it right now. But she doesn't disobey. She relays her struggles to me (as I specifically and repeatedly command her to) and I sometimes loosen the leash a bit to accommodate. Not that I fully understand what happened here, but it sounds to me like the word "lapse" is being used as a euphemism for "direct disobedience" and it would not be acceptable for us.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 10:32:02 AM)
I think he's asking too much of you, to have you changing so much all at once. Its a setup for failure. You deserve a dom who knows what the fuck he's doing, IMHO. If you stay with this guy, expect more of the same. He's showing you how he operates. To be clear: I think he's got shit for brains, if he thinks you should be able to lose weight when you just quit smoking. Everybody else but him, knows that the high likelihood (statistically) is that you'll gain a few pounds when you quit smoking. Seems like a pretty clueless guy. You deserve better, IMHO. You at least deserve someone who knows his ass from a hole in the ground. Don't settle.

bestheadyet -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 10:48:04 AM)
via leadership...." it sounds to me like the word "lapse" is being used as a euphemism for "direct disobedience" and it would not be acceptable for us." this straight from M....."you claim to be an addict. It was just a tiny bit of (you name it, heroin, crack, meth), not even a piece. Either you are sober or you are not (there is no try). This becomes even more important with food addicts, since, as you quite well know, you need food to live. Therefore, sticking to a plan is essential. Look no further than Ruby to see the results of a taste here and there." from me....addicts have sneaky behavior....almost child like. hoping on one hand to not get caught and so guilty over the action pray to get busted......doesnt matter the substance....when i accepted i had a nicotine addiction and not a habit it was fairly easy[sm=nervous.gif] lol to stop the smoking after 28 yrs. i want to be in a lifetime of voluntary slavery....my heart is true to that goal....but it also means i have to step up my ability to be honest with myself first and Master next. I have ambition to live a very long time and would like to do so partnered. My chances for these goals and ambitions coming to fruition increase greatly when im not the size of livestock. I had the desire for these changes. Master was a catalyst....the destination to me is worth the trip.

littleone35 -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 10:49:08 AM)
Ok so you goofed it happens to all of us at one time or another. You just need to get right back on that horse that threw you . From what i am getting from you posts you did not do it on purpose it just kinda happened. Don't beat yourself up about it, that will not do any good. Weight loss is hard i know i have been trying for 2 months only lost 8 lbs so far, Just take it slow and don't exprect instant results. if you do only setting youself up for disspointment. Above all TALK to M and let him know why you fell off the wagon and wahat steps you will take so you don't fall off again, or maybe modify the diet. Wish you all the luck in the world. Matt's littleone

bestheadyet -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 11:02:44 AM)
no one has taken the time with me to support me in any endeavor.....well its been 2 decades. so i have no intention of screwing up on purpose. M is a great encourager however i think i needed the kick in the toosh to get serious. i hope we will be fine[8D]

leadership527 -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 11:14:30 AM)
Honestly bestheadyet I see nothing bad in anything you wrote. I simply said that for Carol and I such behavior wouldn't work and "sneakiness" is not a part of the bargain. Carol is struggling with her own addiction withdrawal as we speak. But she doesn't get "sneaky". She communicates with me. By the way, I'm on day 4 of nicotine withdrawal. I get it fully. But if I'm going to go have a smoke, I'm not doing it behind Carol's back. in the end, I totally agree, it is the journey that matters and any path which gets you from here to there is, by definition, a good path.

bestheadyet -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 11:28:21 AM)
leadership i emphasized what you said about disobedience because essentially you are right. i have to quit lying to myself about what i am ....be it a substance abuser of any sort(cigs,food,alcohol)...sex addict....attention whore....loving slave....you see where im going? untill i can put on my big girl panties....no pun here right....and admit what area needs work....how can i expect to progress relationally? i have a thing for M in a bad way....if i care for Him i'd only want Him to be with someone who is putting forth a good effort to honor and serve Him.....disrespecting Him playing high school like games won't get me collared or permanently partnered either. todays posts have really made me think about this subject....honesty....and also about obedience.

January -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 11:47:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet My chances for these goals and ambitions coming to fruition increase greatly when im not the size of livestock. Are you the size of livestock? How long has it been since you had your last cigarette? What did that mean, you fell off the wagon? You had a cupcake? You didn't eat organic food? Does your Master see you frequently or is this some online interaction? Wat's he doing to support you? Giving orders or fixing you good food? You're asking people for empathy, but not revealing a whole lot about the situation--hence my questions. I'm reading a lot of BDSM-speak in your posts, but I'm not sensing much self-awareness. January

leadership527 -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 11:56:46 AM)
quote: disrespecting Him playing high school like games won't get me collared or permanently partnered either. laughs it wouldn't get you a healthy relationship of any sort :) Sounds to me you're on the right path here. There... don't you feel better knowing you have Jeff's seal of approval laughs ?

bestheadyet -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 12:04:28 PM)
january.......ill be back jeff.....heaps better ....lol

VirginPotty -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 12:27:45 PM)
Cmail bestheadyet

bestheadyet -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 12:29:36 PM)
well maybe not the size of livestock...maybe the weight[;)] january........today is day 8. im using a book for help//////the easy way to quit smoking ---by allen carr its helped alot. made me realize the addiction issue compared to a habit. my best friend brought some cake over.....wasnt trying to slip me up,just remembered that i adore cake. i had a bite of it....wrapped it back up and walked it back to her house and told her my problem is bigger than just liking cake. lol Ive seen my Master 3 times in a month. ..we are daily online contact. He proved His support of me by attending the weight management doc's appointment....and he wrote out my grocery list. i do not have much self awareness. i have had a submissive nature and never knew there was a community of like minded people.im exploring my entrance into slavery as this is really the type of heart i have. i am reaching out to learn new things....and gain a little more awareness thru support and education. ty january for your interest[8D]

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875