RE: i goofed up

RE: i goofed up (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

VirginPotty -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 12:38:48 PM)
Sorry if I missed it but was your weight loss his idea or yours?

jbcurious -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 1:31:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet well maybe not the size of livestock...maybe the weight[;)] january........today is day 8. im using a book for help//////the easy way to quit smoking ---by allen carr its helped alot. made me realize the addiction issue compared to a habit. my best friend brought some cake over.....wasnt trying to slip me up,just remembered that i adore cake. i had a bite of it....wrapped it back up and walked it back to her house and told her my problem is bigger than just liking cake. lol Ive seen my Master 3 times in a month. ..we are daily online contact. He proved His support of me by attending the weight management doc's appointment....and he wrote out my grocery list. i do not have much self awareness. i have had a submissive nature and never knew there was a community of like minded people.im exploring my entrance into slavery as this is really the type of heart i have. i am reaching out to learn new things....and gain a little more awareness thru support and education. ty january for your interest[8D] So are you saying that all this guilt and "letting him down" is over one bite of cake????? If this is the case then I think M. is being unfair, unsupportive and cruel. I think you showed great will power in limiting yourself to one bite...you should be congratulating yourself and M. should be praising you for resisting the temptation of eating the whole damn thing!!

AquaticSub -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 1:33:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet \i do not have much self awareness. i have had a submissive nature and never knew there was a community of like minded people.im exploring my entrance into slavery as this is really the type of heart i have. i am reaching out to learn new things....and gain a little more awareness thru support and education. ty january for your interest[8D] Someday I'll upgrade from a normal heart to a slave one. [:D] Honestly, I think you biting way too much off at once and you'll end up choking. That isn't to say that these aren't things that need to be done. But that doesn't mean you need to do everything right now. The way you are spilling out kinky terms, I'm wondering if you are in frenzy. Relax and take a deep breath. It's great that you are getting support and that you've found a community that you identify with. But get a handle on one thing at a time so that you are building a strong structure in your life.

fadedshadow -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 1:38:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet what does a newbie do when she has screwed up and displeased her Master. ??? i am a sub with slave mentality and intent. i lost focus with soooo many new changes trying to be the slave i want to be. i guess i need moral support so im turning to you all. perhaps instead of being worried about what to do and asking people on a public forum, try apologizing to your master and do your best to please him. nobody's perfect, so there's no shame in making mistakes. if your master is a decent person, he should clearly understand this

kiwisub12 -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 2:08:25 PM)
Hmm - you don't even live with him and you are beating yourself up? Girl! you need to get real. You are trying to stop smoking, lose weight AND please a man online - thats a bunch of stuff. Give yourself a little credit. Instead of concentrating on the slip of the lip - congratulate yourself on sticking to your plan! There aren't too many women in the world who over-do the self support thing. And the better your self esteem the easier it will be for you to succeed in your endevours. You concentrate too much on the errors you are going to think What the hell! and eat the whole cake, and the packet of cookies and the chocolate as well! How about saying yes, i did slip up - but i didn't eat the whole thing, i got it out of the house so i wouldn't be tempted, and those are the actions of a tryer! Much healthier for you! [:D]

January -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 2:36:24 PM)
Fast reply Besthead, Now that I'm learning what happened I think you are awesome! Just one bite of cake... and walking to your friends house afterwards (doesn't that make up for that one bite?) ... and quitting smoking!!! You have admirable self-control. Well, if your Master doesn't pat you on the back for not smoking, and just having one bite of cake that your friend brought over--I will. Pat, pat, pat. That's where the self-awareness comes in. You have to sit and think and recognize what you are accomplishing sometimes. And then pat yourself! Maybe that sounds silly, but I believe it. I'm a big fan of exercise as reducing stress, but I hope you're starting that exercise goal slowly. That's about the only way those healthy habits will last. Good luck! January

GoddessImaginos -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 2:43:06 PM)
Folks, I know this girl; she IS awesome.. [:D]

loverly -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 2:53:00 PM)
bestheadyet.. i thought about you today at work.. and low and behold! here you are sounding much better than this morning.. Lots of hugging and some sterness going on but ALL pretty positive.. good! you needed that !!! hang in there girlie.. lots of days like this one down the road... He sounds supportive.. and you are so right.. when it is an addiction it is better to just go cold turkey and get it over with.. with the smoking.. you wont gain weight as long as the diet is a good one and you MOVE. maybe turn the music up loud and DANCE instead of smoking .. lol or walk.. but dancing can be alot more fun! i wonder if youd like a belly dancing dvd.. its a good time.. and youd be surprised at where you hurt after practice! and.. you can look at it as something you are doing that will also please Him ( doesnt have to be belly dancing .. could be striptease! lol ) but remember .. the Insanity is over and the trip to wellness is so positive and you will feel GOOD! hugs and have a good evening!!! lovely

bestheadyet -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 3:25:21 PM)
from faded...."perhaps instead of being worried about what to do and asking people on a public forum, try apologizing to your master and do your best to please him. nobody's perfect, so there's no shame in making mistakes. if your master is a decent person, he should clearly understand this " faded...the only reason i went public is what i said... i needed moral support from the gang....i am so grateful for.the input... from every one it wasn't the 'just one bite' that ramped up M.....its the idea that addiction is addiction is addiction.He is very helpful and caring...i am grateful for Him. loverly,AS,january and GI....i really appreciate the comments and support and Goddess i think youre neater than sliced bread!!!

bestheadyet -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 3:48:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VirginPotty Sorry if I missed it but was your weight loss his idea or yours? my idea.....His offer of assistance and support. He has been awesome....until i thought i lost Him last night ...for what i thought was trivial.....til i looked at the bigger picture. i speak a little off the cuff and use humor inappropriately sometimes trying to deflect looking at issues....and lying to myself will only harm one person....me. so i decided to get off my duff and do something instead of whining and wishing. i am so glad i found cm.....has led me to some great people.

itsmeinLV -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 6:14:51 PM)
This is regarding any situation where you've wronged; you genuinely apologize and learn from the mistake.

DesFIP -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 7:32:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet it wasn't the 'just one bite' that ramped up M.....its the idea that addiction is addiction is addiction. He's right. And what he's wrong is assuming an addict can quit cold turkey without any slips. That's why there's AA and NA and OA. That's why there's Weight Watchers. And Zyban, and the patch and e-cigarettes. He's totally going about this the wrong way. By not allowing you a learning curve, by assuming you can become a nonaddict just because he said so, he's setting you up to fail. All this for one bite of cake. What will he do if you have a really bad day and eat a king size candy bar and smoke two cigarettes? Stone you? He needs to give you support and find you better ways to do this instead of making you go about all this the hardest way possible with the most chances of not succeeding.

bluefireeyez -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 7:58:56 PM)
DesFIP, once again I agree with your post. OP: I know it is hard to make major life changes. For someone who spends her life driving, and used to use that time to text with everyone...learning to not text while driving was difficult. Being honest about slip ups is big. It allows the situation to be addressed and you can look at ways to help yourself do better. I know texting is not as addicting as food or cigs, but if you've had a sweet tooth your whole life, it is going to take awhile to even tame it. In fact any behavior that is repeated can not be extinguished unless replaced with another. Eventually, you can make it to your goal 100% of the time. Good luck...and keep being honest! If your M knows that you sometimes use humor or off colored remarks to deflect from a situation, I am sure he will find ways to keep you in line in the future.

bestheadyet -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 8:00:36 PM)
i really appreciate the commentary.....i am leaning this way as well. i have begun begging for understanding and patience with my journey. this is as much for my benefit and for my daughter that i do well.....if i become an exercise and diet freak ill make a million off my story!! ill admit im just trying to be like VP!!!!!! AND angel!!!

sunshinemiss -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 8:07:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet it wasn't the 'just one bite' that ramped up M.....its the idea that addiction is addiction is addiction. He's right. And what he's wrong is assuming an addict can quit cold turkey without any slips. That's why there's AA and NA and OA. That's why there's Weight Watchers. And Zyban, and the patch and e-cigarettes. He's totally going about this the wrong way. By not allowing you a learning curve, by assuming you can become a nonaddict just because he said so, he's setting you up to fail. All this for one bite of cake. What will he do if you have a really bad day and eat a king size candy bar and smoke two cigarettes? Stone you? He needs to give you support and find you better ways to do this instead of making you go about all this the hardest way possible with the most chances of not succeeding. DING DING DING..... And we have a winner! What is it with these dudes that think they are the end all and be all? Jeesh. Addictions, food issues, bad habits are all things that need wayyyyyyyyyyy more than one person "helping" especially if it's a person without same / similar issues. Look best, You are already talking about changing your addiction - from food to exercise. You seriously need to get your ass to an OA meeting. All you are doing is moving your crazy from one place to another. He's not helping. Seriously. Good luck. sunshine

bestheadyet -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 8:20:30 PM)
sunshine.....i will be doing lots of self reflection on what most of you ladies said. i looked up OA last night..... im an hour away at least from them. but i think i need support and understanding. just want to have relationship success...its been too long ....ya know all or nothing....black and white works good for me .....i am a libra..... just need lots of hugs while getting there[sm=friends.gif]

bluefireeyez -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 11:08:33 PM)
Best, There are support groups online that you could join if you are unable to drive to one near you.

laurell3 -> RE: i goofed up (5/19/2010 11:18:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet it wasn't the 'just one bite' that ramped up M.....its the idea that addiction is addiction is addiction.He is very helpful and caring...i am grateful for Him. Yes Des is right, what he is missing is a big part of addiction therapy IS RELAPSE and learning the triggers that caused it and how to deal with them in the future and I gotta tell you, when people go to prison and have to give up everything all at once, they have MASSIVE problems because that's not only physically very hard on your body, it's hard emotionally. Many of these things are comfort crutches. You can't just stop them all without understanding why you do it. I'm going to take your word for it that this guy is wonderful. I think there's a vast difference between supporting someone who wants to change their lives positively for themselves and finding someone and saying that they aren't good enough and trying to make them what you want. It's really unclear which camp he's in. Good luck to you though, it seems you really have an good attitude about this. Make sure you are in it for YOU though or the changes will never be longlasting.

AquaticSub -> RE: i goofed up (5/20/2010 2:43:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet i looked up OA last night..... im an hour away at least from them. but i think i need support and understanding. *just want to have relationship success...its been too long ....ya know* all or nothing....black and white works good for me .....i am a libra..... just need lots of hugs while getting there[sm=friends.gif] Look, I'm not saying this to be mean... But I get the feeling you are only doing this because he won't have you if you don't. It's a recipe for diaster if you two can't at least sit down and find a way that works for you - he have his views on addiction and that's great but he isn't the one trying to quit. So it's not about his rules, it's about what you can realistically do so that you accomplish this and make life changes that will last. Even, heaven forbid, he isn't in your life anymore.

bestheadyet -> RE: i goofed up (5/20/2010 4:11:41 AM)
quote: I'm going to take your word for it that this guy is wonderful. I think there's a vast difference between supporting someone who wants to change their lives positively for themselves and finding someone and saying that they aren't good enough and trying to make them what you want. It's really unclear which camp he's in. laurell and AS....i was wanting the changes....when M initially approached me He offered his assistance. i was assured of His sincerity to help me when He accompanied me to the doc to start my food plan and check up. doc had said with the med,exercise and diet combined i have a great shot at success ....and M knows its importance to me from a health perspective alone,not to mention my self esteem....and the better i feel of course is a benefit to Master.....YES i would be devastated if He were not with me...but this was a desired goal be4 He came along.

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125