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RE: Things are getting interesting ... - 9/21/2004 8:27:19 PM

siamsa24

Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
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Yes, but you also called her cynical and then blocked her (if I am understanding things correctly). I would have had the same response.

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RE: Help needed regarding getting replies from subs - 9/21/2004 8:43:47 PM

Thanatosian

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
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quote:

Do you suppose to delete a message unread is ruder than merely not replying?

This is one thing that does 'get my goat' so to speak.

Case in point - I sent an email to a sub here at CM to invite her to the local munch - nothing more. NO offers of 'be my sub' 'lets meet' etc - just a nice simple - 'Hi noticed you are in the area and if you are interested there is a group that meets every month for a munch - heres the info, etc. '

Deleted Unread

I can only presume that upon receiving the email, she looked over my profile, decided there was nothing there to interest her, and hit delete

certainly her prerogative, of course, but still frustrating, especially since she had stated in her profile that she was new to the lifestyle and was looking for somewhere to find out more information about it

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RE: Help needed regarding getting replies from subs - 9/22/2004 12:10:47 AM

compes

Posts: 92
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Thanatosian
Deleted Unread

I can only presume that upon receiving the email, she looked over my profile, decided there was nothing there to interest her, and hit delete

certainly her prerogative, of course, but still frustrating, especially since she had stated in her profile that she was new to the lifestyle and was looking for somewhere to find out more information about it

On a related note - I was wondering if it is possible that an email was deleted accidentally?

I think this may be possible - the person in question could have checked a block of email from several unwanted suitors that she has already dealt with in the past - and when she hits "Delete Checked" she accidentally gets rid of an email from someone new.

Should the suitor send a simple note asking if the email was deleted accidentally?

Personally, I would think it over carefully before sending a second email - most likely I wouldn't bother. My assumption would be the same as yours, Thanatosian - that she took one look at my profile and thought "no way".

I'm not looking for a submissive at this time, but I have sent email to those who have said things that I've found touching or interesting. I haven't experienced 'delete unread' yet - all of those who responded did so graciously. If someone did delete my email unread, I would not be that concerned.

Compes

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RE: Help needed regarding getting replies from subs - 9/22/2004 5:13:07 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

certainly her prerogative, of course, but still frustrating, especially since she had stated in her profile that she was new to the lifestyle and was looking for somewhere to find out more information about it

Thanatosian,

I can understand your frustration. Completely.

It was truly her loss. And I say not only because she missed a chance to meet some local people, but also the chance to meet someone like you who obviously has a head on his shoulders and a good grasp on this lifestyle and reality in general.

- LA

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RE: Help needed regarding getting replies from subs - 9/22/2004 6:36:16 AM

Chaos

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Joined: 4/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: compes
On a related note - I was wondering if it is possible that an email was deleted accidentally?

I think this may be possible - the person in question could have checked a block of email from several unwanted suitors that she has already dealt with in the past - and when she hits "Delete Checked" she accidentally gets rid of an email from someone new.

Should the suitor send a simple note asking if the email was deleted accidentally?

Personally, I would think it over carefully before sending a second email - most likely I wouldn't bother. My assumption would be the same as yours, Thanatosian - that she took one look at my profile and thought "no way".

I'm not looking for a submissive at this time, but I have sent email to those who have said things that I've found touching or interesting. I haven't experienced 'delete unread' yet - all of those who responded did so graciously. If someone did delete my email unread, I would not be that concerned.

Compes

This is pretty much my situation as well. I am not looking and that is CLEARLY stated in my profile. I do send messages to various ladies for one reason or another, and I still don't think that a polite reply is asking too much. If the person in question is not interested in corresponding, then SAY so, don't just ignore/delete.

I honestly don't think it is asking too much for a little politeness, especially considering all the journal entries on how rude and demanding all the "Doms" on here are.

C

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RE: Things are getting interesting ... - 9/22/2004 11:13:20 AM

newflowers

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Today I am pms-ing and have other issues that have made me cranky and bitchy. I usually avoid posting replies to confrontational issues during such times, but, today, the bitch mode is in the forefront and so here goes...

MrStrapwell, I cannot fathom the reasons for your rude and childish behavior. When my children act this way, I send them to their rooms for a time out - perhaps it is you in need of the strap instead of the other way around. I am a submissive who received one of your "polite" notes of solicitation. A few lines telling me that you are looking for a woman willing to be spanked by you is not my idea of "polite" note of introduction. Your note indicates to me that not only did you NOT pay attention to my profile, but that you are using the BDSM personals as a means to see "The submissive girls on this site" as "your own private little spankable chicks catalogue" as someone else has suggested.

Not having read your profile before the change, I don't know what it said. I do know that the the man you reveal yourself to be is not at all what the new profile, kindly written for you by another, states. Your rudeness, immaturity, and childish behavior here show you in an extremely bad light, such that had the note you sent to me been the type to which I would positively respond, your behavior here would completely negate that.

There is more to being a dominate male than giving oneself a self-proclaimed tilte. How you can possibly imagine that any woman of self-worth would be interested in your tender mercies is beyond comprehensible thought. Control during a scene, you cannot even control yourself in an email.

I recently read that one of the differences between a mature dominant male and one in an adult body is the realization that the world does not revolve around you as it is children who do not see that others and their needs are of equal importance as and such, even in disagreement, are deserving of courtsey and consideration. Looking at your responses here, it is not hard to see you as a child in a man's body demanding your own way and sucking your thumb while having temper tantrums.

Grow up and get over yourself. People here have welcomed you, offered you assistance and consideration, and this is how you respond. It is insulting, inconsiderare, immature, rude, thoughtless, unkind, and completely lacking in any adult social skills.

newflowers - the cranky bitch

P.S. moderators, please feel free to delete if the need is there

< Message edited by newflowers -- 9/22/2004 11:14:38 AM >

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RE: Things are getting interesting ... - 9/22/2004 11:27:15 AM

GoddessJules

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Newflowers,

I find your post TOTALLY appropriate. You are one who has *actually* gotten one of these so-called "friendly, non intrusive, polite" introductory emails and can actually judge if strapwell is really who he tries to portray himself on the board. I'm sure no one finds fault in that. **PLUS** you say you are PMSing. . .and we all know women get great latitude for that period of time *wink*

For those that are still crying two tears in a bucket over not getting responses:

I understand that some people may feel hurt/disappointed/add appropriate emotion here for not getting a response to a "well meaning" email. If you are an adult who is realistic about things. . .you won't come to a board and cry about it. You'd just move the hell on.

*turns on Justin Timberlake's Cry Me a River*

~Jules~

PS- I'm not PMSing. . .I'm naturally like this!!!!

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[Deleted] - 9/22/2004 12:08:55 PM

Deleted User

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RE: Things are getting interesting ... - 9/22/2004 12:10:41 PM

GoddessJules

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Good Idea Mod6

I second that!!!

~Jules~

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RE: Things are getting interesting ... - 9/22/2004 4:21:14 PM

EStrict

Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
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quote:

I'll include the text of my email to "Estrict" here, so that you can see it's not so bad:

I guess it depends on your definition of *not so bad*. You call me cynical (which I am not btw), then block me. I wonder how good you are at understanding irony? In a string where you are basically whining that you are not getting what YOU consider your just dues, you chose someone to write who actually WOULD have responded and then blocked them.

You may find me cynical for not being *grateful* I recieved an email, but when one has to deal with people like you that send unsolicited mail (again what you did), call me cynical (something that is not true, there is a difference between speaking my mind and being cynical), then blocking their response, is it a wonder some would prefer to to just delete unread? ) Or not respond because they found nothing appealing in the letter or profile and their mamma's taught them if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?

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RE: Things are getting interesting ... - 9/22/2004 4:49:10 PM

EStrict

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Sorry Mod6, I wrote the above reply before I read through the whole string.

Thanks Siamsa, you understood my POV totally.

Thantosian,

Just a few thoughts Sir... as some mentioned there are many reasons to delete emails. Lots of them are not *personal*. One not mentioned is maybe she is in a relationship (and it may not be in her profile yet) that doesn't allow her to read emails from other dominants at this time. That's something (though I personally don't understand it) that seems common for those entering new relationships.

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RE: Things are getting interesting ... - 9/22/2004 5:07:06 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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Mod6 -

Yes, it's long past time this thread was allowed to die.

In marketing they say that any publicity is good publicity. This forum has more replies and views then any other. I wonder if Strapwell benefited from all this activity?

I bet if those things are tracked that his profile was viewed and accessed more then any other Dom male on the site.

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RE: Things are getting interesting ... - 9/22/2004 5:32:05 PM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
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From: Scranton, PA
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LOL!! I'm cracking up at Merc's observations. Yeah, promotion -- Awareness, Interest, Decision, and Action. (and I remember that better from seeing it in Glengarry, Glen Ross than I do from a class).

Anyway, Strapwell certainly has done a lot to increase Awareness of his product. Whether he has generated the kind of Interest that would lead to a Decision to take the Action of replying to one of his love letters remains to be seen. Somehow, I doubt the new, improved pic and profile are going to help.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 9/22/2004 5:33:44 PM >

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RE: Help needed regarding getting replies from subs - 9/22/2004 6:11:53 PM

xasey

Posts: 12
Joined: 8/5/2004
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I state clearly in my profile some criteria for a mate. I use the bulk mail preferences to set boundaries around this.

While I haven't recieved a mail from you specifically, I would imagine particularly females do this alot. I get probably a 10:1 ratio of replies that are blocked by the bulk settings to ones that get thru. I don't reply to those at all. I don't believe it is rude of me to do so, either. Why would I be interested in a Dominant who has shown from the very beginning that they will disregard my wishes?

I do reply to everyone that makes it thru the filter, tho.

~xasey

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RE: Thank You - 9/22/2004 10:16:11 PM

toy2share

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sir much was penned about your responses..............sigh.............

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RE: Things are getting interesting ... - 9/23/2004 1:56:58 PM

Thanatosian

Posts: 765
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I didnt tkae it personally that she had deleted the email unread - yeah I was a bit peeved that I had had some of my time wasted (so to speak) in trying to help her out, but what the heck, I wasnt doing anything particularly important at that time anyway

I know I am never going to win a best looking/best body contest, so if I send out an email and get no response or if it gets deleted, I just chalk it up to me being me and move on with my life (most of the time - do I sometimes get bitter or angry or depressed about it, yeah, I AM human after all - but mostly its water off a ducks back)

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RE: Help needed regarding getting replies from subs - 9/29/2005 2:52:34 PM

saltie

Posts: 101
Joined: 6/30/2004
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I dont know if you do this or not but know happens to me. and seen to others. Are you younger then the age wanted or something else? I have not under the age of 40 but ones younger write. Also want local and single but some is not either. One from Missouri and only 30 wrote me. I have it in my profile if not single, under 40 and local I will not answer but does not stop some from writting me. Otherwise I answer all mail even when not interested. Most have written back thanking me for my reply.Rght now my profile is turned off so if was to get mail of course who writting would not know but I am talking about when it is on.

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RE: Thank You - 9/29/2005 5:15:13 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
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From: Tidewater, VA
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quote:

To all of the subs who carelessly delete dozens of emails from good men, one of whom might be her dream come true, I will say:
"Shame On You". These women are deserving of nothing.

M. Strapwell-

I am beginning to suspect that a large part of the probelm may in fact be your compositional persona. I am not sure if it is delibrate, but your writing is starting to read a bit mysogonistic, a least to my ears.

One is, of course, entitled to be bitter- but advertising it may infact be counter productive.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: Thank You - 9/29/2005 5:55:04 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
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wow, i can't believe i've read the entire thread..lol..

and agree with most everything..the good and the not so good...

The past couple of days i've had a few emails to which i replied "thank you for the note, but i think we're looking for different things. Good luck with your search." To my way of thinking, that is as polite as it gets. i do appreciate the emails, but i truly wish that my no thanks reply was the end of it. However, it seems that there are a few on ALL sites that feel the "need" to call me all sorts of names -- wannabe, old crone, has been -- too name but a few. It seems to me that being called rude for not responding would be the better of all of those options. i haven't figured out a way not to feel guilty for not writing a reply (i may be old, but i can still hear my mother's words about thank you notes), but i think i should work on it.

cheers
jimini

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RE: Help needed regarding getting replies from subs - 9/30/2005 7:46:48 AM

night101owl

Posts: 83
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I receive a lot of email from all sorts of men, which is strange considering that I make it farily clear in my profile that I'm a dyke.

Well, to be honest, I do say that there's a possibilty that I would play with a man if he were Johnny Depp. Not if he *looks* like Johnny Depp, but if he IS Johnny Depp. As far as I can tell, Mr. Depp has not joined collarme yet, but just in case, I'll leave that exception up.

Due to all the spam, including many form letters (which I've actually seen snarked in the LJ bdsm snark community), I don't reply to everyone who contacts me.

If you want replies, then make it clear that you've read the person's profile. If she says she likes hot rod cars, then say something about hot rod cars. Introduce yourself, but don't presume that she's interested in hearing any details about what sort of sex or BDSM play you like. Be a gentleman, at least at this stage. Say "I notice in your profile that you're looking for someone with X,Y, and Z qualities. I think I might be a good match for you, but I was wondering what else you're looking for in a partner." At this point, you're just trying to find out if there is any mutual interest.

Edited to add-- oops! I skimmed through most of this thread, but had not seen the "let it die" posts. Sorry! I won't delete this, since I find it rude to delete posts, but I don't expect any replies to it in this thread.

< Message edited by night101owl -- 9/30/2005 7:50:45 AM >

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