RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner because of an STD?

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RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:20:49 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88
I think it comes down to being more informed and aware of how to take care of yourself and less about being a judgemental closed minded person. You could miss out on the absolute love of your life that way.

See now, I know it's easy for me to sit here and say so because I am not the one in her shoes....but that is my line of thinking on it too.

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(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 21

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:22:01 AM

subangi

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Hepatitis C is only from blood...its true...very few people have gotten it from sex. It is mainly contracted through minute actions......using their razor or toothbrush, kissing them right after they brush their teeth, eating, drinking from their dishes if they have chapped lips or have been coughing. That is why simple universal precautions must be adhered to.
Only 15-20% of people with Hep C have liver problems.
There is a chemotherapy that has cured some with Hepatitis C. I wish I had more info about it.
I had worked in a plasma donation center as a medical supervisor, working with the health dept, and was astounded at the amount of people just in my city that have Hep C.
Most do not know who they got it from.

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 22

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:22:16 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I would never presume to be so high and mighty as to think I am better than those with an STD. The people who say they would never be with one who has one is woefully ignorant ,being that most people already have HPVand its not testable in men and most people have some form of herpes in their system.

I don't think it's a question of being high and mighty. And I think that people should be absolutely entitled to make the decision never to be with someone who has an STD without being called ignorant. Sheesh.

For me it would depend on the STD, how it was contracted, and the person with it.

But I do have to admit, that it wouldn't be a big "plus" for me...

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 23

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:28:25 AM

allthatjaz

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I have a dear friend that has a double whammy. He has HIV and Hep C. Apart from a lot of medication (he takes a lot of vitamins and herbal too) he leads a relatively normal life but he's well aware that the Hep C will eventually get him.... hopefully not for a long time yet.

When Steve and me went to get tested, I did wonder how I would feel if he turned out to have Hep C or HIV. I made the decision that we would become responsible lovers. We were both clear and we both know for sure that we don't have HIV but what about Hep C? A clear test could mean we are in remission. It could mean that the Hep C virus is laying dormant in certain organs like the liver but not showing up in the bloodstream. 20 years from now we could get the first symptoms.

An interesting question to ask would be, if your long time lover, husband, wife was suddenly diagnosed with HIV or Hep C but you were tested as not carrying either virus, would you stay or would you leave?

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Post #: 24

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:28:54 AM

sunshinemiss

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Hi ML -
I just want to clarify... I use the word "ignorant" as in someone who chooses to not be informed.

And frankly, because so many people (especially men) are asymptomatic and clueless that they are also infected with something, I think the important part is (again)... it's not *who*, it's *HOW*.

*smooch, (yes that was me smooching you! Woo hoo!)
sunshine

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Post #: 25

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:30:33 AM

mistoferin

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Some of the responses have me wondering something else now...I know it's not the case in the example that I've laid out here but....

For the folks who are saying no way, never.....

Because the statistics seem to say that there are a large number of people who have such STD's and don't know it.....what if you were in a committed relationship, head over heels and blissfully happy with someone....and they learned they had an STD. You get tested and find out that you have not contracted it. Would you end that relationship?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 26

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:32:07 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

An interesting question to ask would be, if your long time lover, husband, wife was suddenly diagnosed with HIV or Hep C but you were tested as not carrying either virus, would you stay or would you leave?

Hi Maria,
This actually happened to one of my girlfriends. She and her husband were on a hiaturs... they were separated... he contracted Herpes. They did get back together (and of course she eventually got it from him). In the end they didn't work out, but credit to her for being clear about what was important to her and talking responsibly before they got back together.

Best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 27

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:35:02 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
A clear test could mean we are in remission. It could mean that the Hep C virus is laying dormant in certain organs like the liver but not showing up in the bloodstream. 20 years from now we could get the first symptoms.

An interesting question to ask would be, if your long time lover, husband, wife was suddenly diagnosed with HIV or Hep C but you were tested as not carrying either virus, would you stay or would you leave?

Wow, that I did not know! I have not seen that come up in any of the research I've done. My friend is currently being tested to see if her infection is "active" as the test she had shows that she has antibodies for it....I'm guessing that is what you are referring to?

As far as long time lovers being diagnosed....you posted while I was typing away!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 28

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:35:42 AM

DomImus

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My initial thoughts on the subject were "It would depend on the person and the STD but no, I would not arbitrarily exclude someone simply because they had any STD". Then I read sunshinemiss' post and I said "Yano what - fuck it. Treat 'em like pariahs." If people cannot make their own decisions about their health for whatever reason they choose without being labled as ignorant.....

Fuck it. I'd slam the fucking door so hard it would rip from it's hinges.

_____________________________

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(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 29

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:36:20 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subangi

Hepatitis C is only from blood...its true...very few people have gotten it from sex. It is mainly contracted through minute actions......using their razor or toothbrush, kissing them right after they brush their teeth, eating, drinking from their dishes if they have chapped lips or have been coughing. That is why simple universal precautions must be adhered to.
Only 15-20% of people with Hep C have liver problems.
There is a chemotherapy that has cured some with Hepatitis C. I wish I had more info about it.
I had worked in a plasma donation center as a medical supervisor, working with the health dept, and was astounded at the amount of people just in my city that have Hep C.
Most do not know who they got it from.

Hi angi,
Thank you for that information. So in reality it's not that she *can't* still have casual sex or sex without informing her partner, but that there is ... what kind of risk? ... to the other person if she does.

I always figure everybody's got something! and then assess risk based on the person and myself.

I really appreciate you taking the time to give that side of things.

Best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to subangi)

Post #: 30

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:38:29 AM

sunshinemiss

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Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

My initial thoughts on the subject were "It would depend on the person and the STD but no, I would not arbitrarily exclude someone simply because they had any STD". Then I read sunshinemiss' post and I said "Yano what - fuck it. Treat 'em like pariahs." If people cannot make their own decisions about their health for whatever reason they choose without being labled as ignorant.....

Fuck it. I'd slam the fucking door so hard it would rip from it's hinges.

Hello Imus,
Thank you for giving an excellent example of my point.

Best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 31

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:42:37 AM

mistoferin

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Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
So in reality it's not that she *can't* still have casual sex or sex without informing her partner, but that there is ... what kind of risk? ... to the other person if she does.

What the CDC website says is that in monagamous partners who take no sexual precautions where one partner is infected and the other is not, there is only about a 3% chance that their partner will ever become infected. It does not clarify though what percentage of that 3% contracts it sexually from the other or if another means of transmission (open wounds, shared clippers or toothbrushes, etc.) accounts for those transmissions.

It does say that the risk increases in persons who are not in monogamous relationships (although I don't clearly understand why).

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 32

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:42:41 AM

allthatjaz

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Joined: 8/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subangi

There is a chemotherapy that has cured some with Hepatitis C. I wish I had more info about it.
I had worked in a plasma donation center as a medical supervisor, working with the health dept, and was astounded at the amount of people just in my city that have Hep C.
Most do not know who they got it from.

Hep C was the new disease of the 80s and rigorously tested in the mid 90s. It is far too early to say that Hep C is curable.

http://nationalhepatitis-c.org/kevdialogue-hm.htm

http://www.hepatitis-central.com/mt/archives/2009/11/hepatitis_c_cur.html

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Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to subangi)

Post #: 33

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:43:38 AM

GraciousLady

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Joined: 7/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

Obviously, she can not have sex with anyone unless she tells them she has it and casual sex is over for her.

Why is casual sex over for her? Why can't she have sex without telling them? (obviously she *can* choose to... I'm wondering why she might not want to.) I don't really know the first thing about Hep C.

Thanks,
sunshine

Casual sex for people with diseases that have the potential to cripple or kill is just not a good idea. To understand this put yourself in this position. You have just had sex with someone and they say, "BTW, I have hep c. It's sometimes transmitted through sex and if you get it you could be sick for years, get cancer and even die. You might not be able to work and be in poverty because the medication costs over $1,000.00 a month and insurance sometimes dosen't pay." Sure the chances are slim but any chance is just to much for casual sex.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 34

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:46:41 AM

GraciousLady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: subangi

There is a chemotherapy that has cured some with Hepatitis C. I wish I had more info about it.
I had worked in a plasma donation center as a medical supervisor, working with the health dept, and was astounded at the amount of people just in my city that have Hep C.
Most do not know who they got it from.

Hep C was the new disease of the 80s and rigorously tested in the mid 90s. It is far too early to say that Hep C is curable.

http://nationalhepatitis-c.org/kevdialogue-hm.htm

http://www.hepatitis-central.com/mt/archives/2009/11/hepatitis_c_cur.html

Chemotherapy has also made hep c worse because it lowers the bodies immune system making the body less able to resist the virus. I think using chemo to shrink liver tumors caused by hep c is getting mixed up with curing the virus here.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 35

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:49:24 AM

sunshinemiss

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So, Gracious,
It is too much FOR YOU... Not necessarily for other people. Think what you will, but I completely disagree with you. *Don't worry, I've been flamed for it before.* Many people have casual sex despite having STD's. You may not like it, but it's reality. That is why I advocate so strongly for personal responsibility. If you are going to have sex, it is wise to presume that the person you are with can give you something and to act as your risk assessment FOR YOU deems appropriate.

We often have this type of discussion. And it always comes down to the people who think that you MUST tell someone and get angry and sanctimonious... and little lonely me saying... Yep, maybe you should... however, it's probably smart to not presume other people have your same scruples.

Best,
sunshine

*wee typo

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 5/24/2010 6:51:23 AM >

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to GraciousLady)

Post #: 36

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:52:30 AM

mistoferin

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Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
http://nationalhepatitis-c.org/kevdialogue-hm.htm

http://www.hepatitis-central.com/mt/archives/2009/11/hepatitis_c_cur.html

Thank you for those links. According to the little that I just read on the first one, it is entirely possible to test negative and still have the virus.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 37

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:53:00 AM

Saint

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Sorry, but my sister died of AIDS in 1993 that was given to her by her cheating boyfriend and I in turn work with the homeless and at risk population who also have a high percentage of std's among themselves including a high percentage who have Hep C. So I see what people go through first hand who have std's. That being said, I would definitely not want to be involved with someone who has an STD unless it was something that could be treated and eliminated. Fortunately for people who suffer from HEP C there are treatments such as Interferon that has proven success record of treating it.

Does that make me high and mighty or better than anyone else because I do not have an std and do not want to take a chance? No, it merely makes me selective about a potential partner. Thats why before I even get involved with someone I insist on seeing current and up to date bloodwork results and I show them mine in turn. And if they do not want to do even that much for me then I move on. After all, no one takes responsiblity for my health but me and quite frankly you cannot trust most people with daily things let alone your own well-being and health.

< Message edited by Saint -- 5/24/2010 6:55:50 AM >

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(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 38

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:56:13 AM

subangi

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The information I received about chemo curing Hep C for some came from a nurse practioner that works for the CDC in Michigan.

(in reply to GraciousLady)

Post #: 39

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:58:13 AM

sunshinemiss

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Hello Saint,
I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, have witnessed intimately the loss of loved ones from AIDS.

It does beg the question though... how do you *know* you don't have an STD? I mean seriously? Rarely does a doctor test for all of them - it's fairly pricey.

What if someone you really care for turns out to have HPV and they didn't know it before? Or they have something and they take exceedingly good care of themselves and are incredibly careful?

This goes back, for me, to the point made earlier that a huge percentage of people are infected without knowing it. I'd rather be with someone who *knows* and who is responsible for their health and their body. I would rather be with someone who has already gone through the Scarlet Letter Syndrome (as I call it), the feeling dirty and unclean which is so common for people. I want to be with someone who is responsible... in many areas. This is just one of them.

I hope you take my post to you in the kind and gentle spirit it was meant.

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Saint)

Post #: 40

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