RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner because of an STD?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner because of an STD?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner because of an STD?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 6:58:44 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Fortunately for people who suffer from HEP C there are treatments such as Interferon that has proven success record of eliminating it.

According to what I am reading this is not true, only that it can make the disease go into remission or "hide" in internal organs where it's not detectable.

quote:

because I do not have an std and do not want to take a chance?

Again, according to the statistics it would be difficult for anyone to conclusively say "I don't have an STD". It would be more realistic to say "that I know of".

quote:

Thats why before I even get involved with someone I insist on seeing current and up to date bloodwork results and I show them mine in turn. And if they do not want to do even that much for me then I move on.

I agree that testing is definitely a good idea but again, according to the statistics, it is not an absolute.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Saint)

Post #: 41

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:01:27 AM

GraciousLady

Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

So, Gracious,
It is too much FOR YOU... Not necessarily for other people. Think what you will, but I completely disagree with you. *Don't worry, I've been flamed for it before.* Many people have casual sex despite having STD's. You may not like it, but it's reality. That is why I advocate so strongly for personal responsibility. If you are going to have sex, it is wise to presume that the person you are with can give you something and to act as your risk assessment FOR YOU deems appropriate.

We often have this type of discussion. And it always comes down to the people who think that you MUST tell someone and get angry and sanctimonious... and little lonely me saying... Yep, maybe you should... however, it's probably smart to not presume other people have your same scruples.

Best,
sunshine

*wee typo

I think you misunderstand or are reading something into my post that is not there. I have no idea why you disagree with my post? Not one thing in it is angry or sanctimonious. As a matter of fact I completely agree with presuming the people you are with have something and to practice safer sex. My example was why I think a person has the right to know not that people always tell you.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 42

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:09:10 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Hello Gracious,
I don't think you are being sanctimonious or angry. I was just reflecting on similar things having happened in the past. I got seriously slammed a time or two for my viewpoint. And I was a bit on the exaggeration side saying it was everyone else and "lonely me ". That was unfair. I apologize to all the folks who have agreed with me in the past on this issue (and who still do). Sorry bout the misunderstanding that caused.

While I may or may not agree that I think a person has the right to know (I vascillate on that if you want the truth) ... I just ... gosh it breaks my heart seeing so many people who have said "but I asked and s/he said s/he didn't have anything!!!" And then *poof* they find themselves at the clinic.

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to GraciousLady)

Post #: 43

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:10:51 AM

GraciousLady

Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Some of the responses have me wondering something else now...I know it's not the case in the example that I've laid out here but....

For the folks who are saying no way, never.....

Because the statistics seem to say that there are a large number of people who have such STD's and don't know it.....what if you were in a committed relationship, head over heels and blissfully happy with someone....and they learned they had an STD. You get tested and find out that you have not contracted it. Would you end that relationship?

I would absolutly stay in the relationship. I would not have regrets if I did get the disease either.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 44

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:10:51 AM

Saint

Posts: 279
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

Fortunately for people who suffer from HEP C there are treatments such as Interferon that has proven success record of eliminating it.

According to what I am reading this is not true, only that it can make the disease go into remission or "hide" in internal organs where it's not detectable.

quote:

because I do not have an std and do not want to take a chance?

Again, according to the statistics it would be difficult for anyone to conclusively say "I don't have an STD". It would be more realistic to say "that I know of".

quote:

Thats why before I even get involved with someone I insist on seeing current and up to date bloodwork results and I show them mine in turn. And if they do not want to do even that much for me then I move on.

I agree that testing is definitely a good idea but again, according to the statistics, it is not an absolute.

Your right mistoferin, nothing in this world is an absolute. But I certainly am not going to be complacent about my health either. So I choose to stay as informed and safe as possible. Again, no one is responsible for my health but me and so if I choose to do everything in my power to stay disease free or informed as to my health status then that is my right. If I choose to select or not select a partner based around them being diseased, then that also is my fundemental right. I am a huge stickler for personal responsiblity in life and if people do not want to take responsiblity for themselves then I am not going to be the one who is forced to bear the burden of their bad choices. Let someone else do it. I would no more expect that I should have to do so than I would expect someone to step into my life and bear the burden of the bad choices I have made.

_____________________________

"Anonymity is synonymous with longevity."
Faethor Ferenczy

"I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel tonight"
Nightwish - Wish I had an Angel Tonight

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 45

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:13:26 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I could not see myself ending the relationship only because they have an STD. There are so many other factors about a person that are more important to me. It may change what we do in that relationship because I don't have just myself that will be effected; I have him and Alandra. For me what is important is who the person is and that is what I base my decision on.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 46

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:15:22 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

.

< Message edited by sirsholly -- 5/24/2010 7:18:51 AM >

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 47

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:17:00 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

It's not who you fuck, it's how you fuck.

How is it possible that in this day and age people don't know that?

Two of my dearest friends are married. She had herpes when they met. He contracted it eventually. As he pointed out... he loves her, they have each other, there is no risk for having children, and who cares? He takes a pill on occasion. pffffffffffft.

I would pause if it was HIV. I'd be exceedingly careful, but would I say no to someone? Of course not. I'm *EDUCATED* about STDs and how to prevent them. And frankly, I'd rather be with someone who knows they have one and takes care of their health... that is someone who also is educated and aware.. as opposed to all those people walking around with this and that and not knowing it and pretending there is no danger.

As for what you can say to your friend, erin, well... she has a good point. Ignorant people will think she's tainted. Ignorant people will decide she's not worth it. Does she really want an ignorant person?

As for what you can tell her, tell her to get mad! That's the thing that will give her energy and power and a strong backbone to those yahoos that give her a hard time.

Best,
sunshine

What the Sunny one said.

I had full blood workup done just under a year ago for my physical. I know I am clean as a whistle because I haven't done anything to change those results since. However, I would much prefer an honest SO that was diligent in managing their health, therefor mine also, than a dishonest person that 'tweaked' the facts.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 48

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:24:47 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

In response to no one in particular....

I wonder what STDs are routinely tested for and what STD tests you must specifically ask to have done. I mean there are literally hundreds of sexually transmittable diseases and I am certain that people are not routinely tested for all of them.

I know that many women assume that they are tested when they have their Pap smear done. While some things may be tested for or detectable at that time, unless you are specifically asking to be tested there are many things that you are not tested for.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 49

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:26:02 AM

LittleBroken

Posts: 207
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
So in reality it's not that she *can't* still have casual sex or sex without informing her partner, but that there is ... what kind of risk? ... to the other person if she does.

What the CDC website says is that in monagamous partners who take no sexual precautions where one partner is infected and the other is not, there is only about a 3% chance that their partner will ever become infected. It does not clarify though what percentage of that 3% contracts it sexually from the other or if another means of transmission (open wounds, shared clippers or toothbrushes, etc.) accounts for those transmissions.

It does say that the risk increases in persons who are not in monogamous relationships (although I don't clearly understand why).

I will come out and admit I am HSV 2 Pos.

While taking an anti-viral (Valtrex) every day with safe sex practices eg. not having sex during an outbreak, the chances of an uninfected partner contracting the virus is 1.9%.

I am currently holding out hope for and saving to go to the UK to take part in this trial....

http://www.biovex.com/03_04_10_Immunovex_trial.html

I am compelled to be honest about my condition with potential partners.
No one should ever be robbed of their inherent right to make informed choices about their health.
Not providing pertinent known information so that that party can make a decision factoring in that information is in my mind not only morally and ethically wrong but is also criminally negligent.

I was denied the ability to choose when HSV 2 was inflicted upon me.
Hell would freeze over before I would willingly and knowingly expose an uninformed and unwilling partner to this sort of hell.

~LB

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 50

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:27:05 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

-- THUD --

;-)

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 51

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:29:09 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

I wonder what STDs are routinely tested for and what STD tests you must specifically ask to have done.

i know in the hospital network here an HIV test has to be put in writing.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 52

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:42:39 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Just did a quick search on the question of what STDs are routinely tested for at your annual exam and every site that came up basically said the same thing....do not assume that you are being routinely tested for STDs at your annual Pap smear, most doctors do not routinely test.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 53

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:43:53 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Correct. I had to specifically ask for it.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 54

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:48:00 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Correct. I had to specifically ask for it.

Yes but specifically what? Not trying to pick on you LaT, you just opened the door to ask a good question is all. If you were to be tested for every possible STD it would run thousands upon thousands of dollars...so when you request to be tested, does anyone know what they test for? Do they test for the Top 5, the Top 10...?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 55

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 7:56:49 AM

LittleBroken

Posts: 207
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Correct. I had to specifically ask for it.

Yes but specifically what? Not trying to pick on you LaT, you just opened the door to ask a good question is all. If you were to be tested for every possible STD it would run thousands upon thousands of dollars...so when you request to be tested, does anyone know what they test for? Do they test for the Top 5, the Top 10...?

Here in Australia when my doctor was told what had happened I had the full blood work up and high vaginal swaps and smears and a pregnancy test done by a pathology lab.
I saw the doctor straight away, got the pathology lab order straight away and had my testing straight away and had my results back in two working days.

All the doctors visits, referrals, pathology etc. cost me NOTHING.

Sweet gods.
Sometimes I just love living in this country.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 56

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 8:02:29 AM

MsAlisedeSade

Posts: 92
Joined: 4/21/2010
Status: offline

You can get a comprehensive 11 panel std check it runs about $500 to $600 dollars. You have to go to a lab to have it done. Some doctors if they feel you do not need the test will not give it to you. These types of labs have a doctor on staff that will assist you As well as counselors to help you through the process. The Comprehensive STD Panel covers Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, HIV types 1/2, Herpes 1/2 IGM, Hepatitis B & C, and Syphilis, with a CBC and Urinalysis test included. It's expensive but the peace of mind was worth it. I don't have insurance but it might cover it I am not sure though.

< Message edited by MsAlisedeSade -- 5/24/2010 8:13:15 AM >

_____________________________

My Clips

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 57

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 8:05:10 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subangi

The information I received about chemo curing Hep C for some came from a nurse practioner that works for the CDC in Michigan.

I'm sure she felt her info was bona fida subangi. Even researches who were working round the clock for a cure believed at certain points that they had cracked it. They are now extremely cautious about the word 'cure' and are much more likely to say 'remission'

I believe they will find a cure for Hep C but I don't believe its happened yet.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to subangi)

Post #: 58

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 8:11:17 AM

MsAlisedeSade

Posts: 92
Joined: 4/21/2010
Status: offline

Also the best thing you can do is what you are doing be a good friend. She is lucky to have someone who is willing to go through this with her.

_____________________________

My Clips

(in reply to MsAlisedeSade)

Post #: 59

RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner bec... - 5/24/2010 8:20:16 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

It's a good thread. I'm glad the subject was brought up. I am a bit surprised that no one has come across with this answer yet.

Yes, I would close the door on a new relationship to someone infected with an STD. Part of the reason is that I'm not just putting My health on the line. I am sexually active with two other people, and in My opinion, it honestly isn't fair of Me to risk them. Not for somebody that is brand new to Me.

The follow up was asked about if it was someone that I was already involved with. Honestly, I do view that a little differently, since it would obviously be someone that I already care about. That would change My answer, because I'm already attached to the people in My life. (I'm talking about the already established partners, not someone I've potentially seen for a few times.) I wouldn't end the relationship if one of them somehow contacted something. I would, however, absolutely understand if the uninfected person wanted to end or no longer wanted to engage in any activity that would put them at risk. Even up to and including ending the relationship if that was the way they felt about it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MsAlisedeSade)

Post #: 60

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Would you close the door on a potential partner because of an STD?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094