RE: Do slaves have tempers? (Full Version)

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leadership527 -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 1:31:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WiccanSlave
i was just wondering if other subs and slaves out there have tempers and how do they deal with them?
How do you deal with it when you feel you are in the right and are trying to defend an order you were given but the norm is to do something else in everybody else's eyes?...
i was on a chat and the norm was to go somewhere when not serving and the person i was playing with left with a specific order to stay in that spot. well i guess it wasn't in the norm and i got booted from the chat after a bit for not going back to my cage willfully and again when i came back with an attitude

OK, I'll avoid getting all snippy about online-isms. The problem here is the lack of a clear authority structure. If you'd had a specific owner, then clearly his/her commands trump all else. Rather, you were generically serving "the community" which happened to be one person who then left. I've seen such "generic servitude" only in the online gorean community and the rules I've heard there is "Whatever free is in front of you is your master". So if that was true in your chat room, then the instant the first person left, you were now serving whoever else happened to be there. In the end though, the problem here is simply a lack of understanding about what the "rules" are.

As a piece of advice, collarme as a site is generally intended for those who are exploring WIITWD in real life (let's define that as the place where you can smell other people). You're not going to get much useful guidance here on online etiquette. With any luck, the chat room that you are in has published rules or a discussion board or something where you can find more pertinent advice.



MstrPBK -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 1:31:33 PM)

OH yes they have tempers. My first slave nearly 19 years ago had his own temper-tantrum when I TOLD him to leave (after he asked me to kill him [serious]).

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA



UniqueRaven -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 1:36:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

Wait, we get cake with coconut frosting if we serve in the chat rooms??

Why am i always the last one to learn about these things..............[8|]

laughing head off))) - [:D] - the comic timing of this was priceless ........., we found out on another thread that laurel hates coconut - but yes theres cake and jb has to make it - im not sure why [8|]


Mmmmm, i bet jb makes yummy coconut frosted cake.....Laurel, i'll be happy to bail you out, hee hee!

Or wait, i bet we can see how many virtual Doms line up to watch us both lick the frosting?   [;)] 



AbsoluteOverlord -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 1:38:32 PM)

slaves are human

humans have tempers

therefore slaves have tempers.



Its how the creatures handle their tempers that makes them a good girls, or not. Handle it correctly and they are winners, handle it incorrectly and they get the snot slapped out of them or worse CAST OUT!



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 1:38:46 PM)

mmmmmm coconut frosting *droooooools*

I think it depends on what/who the frosting is being licked off of [;)]



kiwisub12 -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 1:41:00 PM)

I have seen my daughter in a temper from online situations (not bdsm related). She leaves the computer and comes out of her room to tell me about it - wheither i understand what the hell she is talking about or not.

Perhaps the OP should take a page from her book.
or find someone to do as i do and tell her not to take it so seriously.


and for the record , i have a hell of a temper that i got under control in my teens - so i wouldn't hurt the ones i love.



DarkSteven -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 1:44:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WiccanSlave

maybe i should rephrase the later part of my question.  i was on a chat and the norm was to go somewhere when not serving and the person i was playing with left with a specific order to stay in that spot.  well i guess it wasn't in the norm and i got booted from the chat after a bit for not going back to my cage willfully and again when i came back with an attitude



As a slave, you are obligated to serve your One and anyone that He or She commands you to.  You are in no way obligated to serve anyone else, including a chat room.  Note that the person you were playing with gave you an order contrary to the room rules, and you had no idea which took precedent. The answer is - neither.



lally2 -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 1:54:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

Wait, we get cake with coconut frosting if we serve in the chat rooms??

Why am i always the last one to learn about these things..............[8|]

laughing head off))) - [:D] - the comic timing of this was priceless ........., we found out on another thread that laurel hates coconut - but yes theres cake and jb has to make it - im not sure why [8|]


Mmmmm, i bet jb makes yummy coconut frosted cake.....Laurel, i'll be happy to bail you out, hee hee!

Or wait, i bet we can see how many virtual Doms line up to watch us both lick the frosting?   [;)] 


......... if we smeared the coconut frosting onto carrots perhaps [sm=insane.gif]........... or is that being a bit too slutty - it would certainly kill the boredom here - im full of cold and im all fidgity for doing something, anything, but it has to be depraved!!!



loverly -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 1:54:17 PM)

i am with UniqueRaven on BOTH counts.. tyvm!



loverly -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 1:55:40 PM)

oh!!! and WHY argue a point anyway.. ESPECIALLY in a D/s M/s relationship? i mean.. if it goes bad ( other than personal injury that is close to death or something like that!!!) it is on Master if it turns out right or wrong.. not me.. hahah i LIKE that part..



lally2 -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 2:00:18 PM)

wiccanslave, ive just re-read youre OP and im thinking that actually what you did was break whatever rule they have on the chat site.  its an odd one really when you think about it.  youre playing with a guy (youre private business) who asks you to stay put and you get outted by the rule-makers - so unfair - but its the rules and theres not a whole lot you can do about that.

in the end it was probably the fault of the guy who left you there, but maybe he wasnt aware enough of the fact that you couldnt sit around on youre own and had to return to youre cage after a time.  actually you were put in a difficult position and it was unfair.  maybe an email to the mods on that site, just to explain youre irritation will help settle things for you.



sweetgirlserves -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 2:06:38 PM)

i'm a winner [:)]



LittleBroken -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 2:30:29 PM)

I have a fairly volatile temper (no..really!) esp. when I'm over tired.  It takes a Master who likes a fairly passionate woman and also likes dealing out predicament punishment. (sadistic bastard).

Stay out of the chat rooms esp. the video chats, Lovely. 
They tend to be filled with liars, braggarts and posturing wanna-be's.



Phoenixpower -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 2:38:40 PM)

I have rarely a temper...IF it does build up then usually if someone repeatedly does let me down (then at some point enough is enough and it can break up completely, doesn't matter if friendship or relationship...as to stick to said words is important in my life) or if I am under uni stress and my ex takes his time to send me back my essay with corrected grammar...then out of stress in such moments I can get wind up...(but not in general stress!).

However, overall I am better with controlling my temper these days even more now since I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia and know that ending up in anger is self-harm for me...because if I get angry or upset (on a level more than mild) then my muscles start aching...and quite frankly, for most people that pain is not worth me to get into and I just learned to ... let it go ... (eg once when I was arguing intensively with a train ticket controller due to a simple missunderstanding and as I could not stand his attitude, my whole body became one big mass of pain, on another occassion when one colleague did wind me up the right side of my face ended up in a lot of pain...so quite frankly...by now a person has to be rather special that I allow him or her to end up in pain).



porcelaine -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 5:13:36 PM)

WiccanSlave,

quote:

i was just wondering if other subs and slaves out there have tempers and how do they deal with them? How do you deal with it when you feel you are in the right and are trying to defend an order you were given but the norm is to do something else in everybody else's eyes?


I switch when I get pissed and that in itself is a problem. I have to find alternatives for self expression that don't put me in that head space. I'm not an argumentative person and rarely have disagreements with my friends. We can go years without that ever happening. Now my partners usually incite a different response. But I'm vehemently opposed to doing battle with them. I just don't want that kind of relationship and I firmly believe we all know how to take five. I haven't always done so but my respect for him can never be secondary to the deference I show to other persons of authority, friends, or loved ones. Once upon a time it was.

I have played the defending game and lost. Oftentimes when people are expressing themselves from that viewpoint it isn't surrendered and usually comes off as challenging, disrespectful, accusatory, and so on. If you know you're going to respond that way it behooves you to address it when you're not so agitated. I prefer to talk when I'm calm, rational, and not emotionally driven. I must be able to express my thoughts without the influence of emotions overshadowing the conversation. It changes the tone and undercurrent often in the wrong way.

There's another thing. I'm not perfect and nor is he. But I have no problem keeping it together when I need to. You see, reactions are a choice. One day I realized he was at the back of the pack and that's a no no. I had a nice heart to heart with myself and did a little housekeeping. If I can abstain when a stranger, boss, officer, or anyone else steps on my toes. Why on earth do I have a problem when I perceive he's done the same?

I stopped making excuses. Quit being reactive. And reclaimed my proactive slave mindset. It made a world of difference. I remembered my ability to ignore, stay cool, and be graceful in the face of adversity. Even when the one that causes me angst is the man I serve. Every time I have used this approach with a person I've been involved with the results have been favorable. I got much more in return for doing so. Best of luck. :)

~porcelaine



xxblushesxx -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 6:01:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AbsoluteOverlord

handle it incorrectly and they get the snot slapped out of them...



That sounds like abuse and not bdsm.



xxblushesxx -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 6:04:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleBroken

I have a fairly volatile temper (no..really!) esp. when I'm over tired. 



I never would have guessed. Especially after the breeding/seeding thread. *lol*



DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 6:07:36 PM)

I have a temper.
I am snarky.
And I am a smart ass.

Although currently unowned, my former owners and current play partner love these characteristics in me.

I used to go to chatrooms on other venues, I stopped because frankly the politics got on my nerves. If you find yourself unhappy in one chatroom try others or create your own. There are so many out there. Why limit yourself or bang your head against the wall?



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 6:07:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx


quote:

ORIGINAL: AbsoluteOverlord

handle it incorrectly and they get the snot slapped out of them...



That sounds like abuse and not bdsm.


Nah, sounds like Macho Dom Syndrome to me *smooches Chrissie and ticks her box*



DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: Do slaves have tempers? (5/30/2010 6:10:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: loverly

oh!!! and WHY argue a point anyway.. ESPECIALLY in a D/s M/s relationship? i mean.. if it goes bad ( other than personal injury that is close to death or something like that!!!) it is on Master if it turns out right or wrong.. not me.. hahah i LIKE that part..



I have to disagree. Regardless of the labels worn in a relationship if it goes bad it is the responsibility of all those involved. Not just one person because they happen to wear the lable dom/master. When I take a collar I don't stop taking personal responsibility and I am responsible for the realtionships I choose to be in.



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