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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 8:22:12 AM   
osf


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Joined: 10/19/2009
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From the other side I don't and really can never know what the primal motivation for submission is but I do think it lays lower in the brain than consious thought.

What I am good at with a certain type of woman is making perdictions on her behaviiour to stimuluos that I apply either with words or action and being the bastard I am using that for my pleasure, the trick is doing that in such a way that her needs are met too.

What most seem not to think about is that there is an underlying reality to the relationship. Fantasies are great to get together and start a relationship but if it's all about the fantasy and none of the reality the relationship is doomed to fail.

Most relationships evolve, owner/property relationships should be managed and it's how well they are managed is how well they will work.

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Ishtarr)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 8:24:11 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

She asked me to help her in a very nasty moment for me, because at the same time I had to do a lot of stuff for myself.
But still, I wasn't glad to help her (even if I did), because I felt it was not fair to ask me such thing in such moment without even wondering if I have some of my own stuff to do. That's why I thought it was exploitation. But still, I knew her for too long, and she insisted very much that I help her, so finally she persuaded me,
at the beginning I said, no, but after some pressure I accepted to help her with this.


Someone with a slave mentality would not have to be "persuaded" "pressured" or felt "not glad to help". The slave mentality would have found ways to be helpful, would have desired and found incredible pleasure from being asked.


Not always. I'm kind of like that. I want to fix everything for everyone, but sometimes at my own expense. And yes, I can feel resentful sometimes, but honestly it's my own fault for trying to be wonder woman.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 8:25:44 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

A slave mentality is very simply and very vague in meaning --- it means that a person has the mentality capable of being mastered completely to the point wherein their autonomy is capable of being manipulated and taken.

Sorry a slave mentality aren't people running around skipping with glee to help everything and everyone.  There are many different PERSONALITIES found with a slave mentality and those personalities are what identifies what they find pleasure doing or in.  To me, a submissive person would be motivated by pleasure of serving and pleasing others and being helpful than a slave mentality.  Yes some people with a slave mentality enjoy pleasing and helping others for the sake of serving so to speak, and many don't. 

angel


Very well put.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 8:32:06 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

From the other side I don't and really can never know what the primal motivation for submission is but I do think it lays lower in the brain than consious thought.

What I am good at with a certain type of woman is making perdictions on her behaviiour to stimuluos that I apply either with words or action and being the bastard I am using that for my pleasure, the trick is doing that in such a way that her needs are met too.

What most seem not to think about is that there is an underlying reality to the relationship. Fantasies are great to get together and start a relationship but if it's all about the fantasy and none of the reality the relationship is doomed to fail.

Most relationships evolve, owner/property relationships should be managed and it's how well they are managed is how well they will work.


Wait, it's not
quote:


osf

How to be a slave in three easy lessons

#1 show up

#2 shut the fuck up

#3 do as your told


anymore?  osf, are you maturing on us?? 

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 8:33:42 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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Amazing how good he looks in contrast huh?

Good to see you osf

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 8:35:54 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Amazing how good he looks in contrast huh?

Good to see you osf


Ditto this.  i'm glad to see you posting again as well, osf.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 8:57:33 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

From the other side I don't and really can never know what the primal motivation for submission is but I do think it lays lower in the brain than consious thought.

What I am good at with a certain type of woman is making perdictions on her behaviiour to stimuluos that I apply either with words or action and being the bastard I am using that for my pleasure, the trick is doing that in such a way that her needs are met too.

What most seem not to think about is that there is an underlying reality to the relationship. Fantasies are great to get together and start a relationship but if it's all about the fantasy and none of the reality the relationship is doomed to fail.

Most relationships evolve, owner/property relationships should be managed and it's how well they are managed is how well they will work.


Wait, it's not
quote:


osf

How to be a slave in three easy lessons

#1 show up

#2 shut the fuck up

#3 do as your told


anymore?  osf, are you maturing on us?? 



I don't feel well this morning and I may say some strange things so stop picking on me

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 8:57:51 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


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After reading Ishtarr posts, I went back and reread the opening post, and hit up the link she provided earlier on Aspergers (from there I read some other links on the Wiki as well). I also managed to read through crazyml's lengthy response.

It's probally a wise idea to get checked out for Aspergers. There are things I read regarding Aspergers that would explain a lot. It does appear that you become fixated, obsessed or otherwise stuck in a hyper-focused mode with things that interest you over things that you actually need to do.

Perhaps you really are a lazy fucker that needs some self discipline, but the manner in which you described things in your OP, it's rather hard to dismiss it as being that. Perhaps that's what other people have said to you, that you are lazy without fully realizing the extent of your issues.

Again, it's probally a wise idea to get checked for Aspergers.








_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 9:14:09 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

After reading Ishtarr posts, I went back and reread the opening post, and hit up the link she provided earlier on Aspergers (from there I read some other links on the Wiki as well). I also managed to read through crazyml's lengthy response.

It's probally a wise idea to get checked out for Aspergers. There are things I read regarding Aspergers that would explain a lot. It does appear that you become fixated, obsessed or otherwise stuck in a hyper-focused mode with things that interest you over things that you actually need to do.

Perhaps you really are a lazy fucker that needs some self discipline, but the manner in which you described things in your OP, it's rather hard to dismiss it as being that. Perhaps that's what other people have said to you, that you are lazy without fully realizing the extent of your issues.

Again, it's probally a wise idea to get checked for Aspergers.









I get hypervigilant as well, but I believe it's more to do with ADD (in my case) than any aspbergers. (got a 17 on the test.)
Plus, I'm not getting that from him...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 9:22:11 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline
Whiplashsmile4,

Your response makes no real sense to mebecause you are speaking of specifics. If you read my post i am very clear on the some do and some don't concept with regard to slave mentality. and i guess i should have put the tongue in cheek icon with regard to the skipping around comment. Believe me, i have spent YEARS on this board trying to explain that slaves don't necessarily do everything with a smile on their face and joy joy joy singing in their lil slave hearts lol and bringing the realistic concept into it. But my comment was very tongue in cheek due to a few comments i read about how someone with a slave mentality would react.

To me, if someone GIVES their autonomy, they are not of a slave mentality but of a submissive mentality. They are determining for themselves what they will do with their autonomy -- they are the ACTION not the reaction to an outside catalyst, being the action rather than the reaction to me negates the concept of mastery which IS to me needed to enable the slave mentality to become slave. That is why i have always seen being a submissive and being a slave as different concepts.

You are way to focused on the word "serve" instead of the whole concept. Serving is simply a part of what a slave may do for he who holds her autonomy, its not the whole of how she exists in his life and its not the whole of simply being slave. However, it has to start with a slave mentality, which means to go further to actually becoming a slave there has to be an external determination not internal determination to move from a slave mentality to being an actual slave.

So, while you may think a slave mentality is one that makes determinations and puts those determinations into actions HOPING someone will REACT to such a determination such as hey i have my autonomy here i want to GIVE it to you. Rather than an external force removing the determination from the slave mentality person and taking same through their ability to master -- thereby making the determination and control start with, remain and continue with the external force ACTING rather than reacting.

To me the Master acts, he doesn't react. Therefore, he determines to take rather than the slave mentality person determining to give. People may say its the same thing -- but its not and that very slight difference and perception in my opinion and is what to me distinguishes a slave mentality turning into an actual slave.

angel

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 6/2/2010 9:30:32 AM >


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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to Ishtarr)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 9:27:29 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

anymore?  osf, are you maturing on us?? 


I don't feel well this morning and I may say some strange things so stop picking on me


Aw osf, you know i'm just teasing you.    Hugs you!

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 10:37:31 AM   
Ishtarr


Posts: 1130
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I get hypervigilant as well, but I believe it's more to do with ADD (in my case) than any aspbergers. (got a 17 on the test.)
Plus, I'm not getting that from him...


It's his anti-social tendencies and the fact that he has well-demonstrated a lack of ability when it comes to understanding the perspective of other people that made me think asperger instead of other hyper-focus disorders.

Another reason I think asperger is because, while Socrates at first hand often seems to display narcissistic tendencies, he at the same time does not seem to fit the narcissistic personality disorder criteria. Thus, his narcissistic behavior reminds me of how aspies often can get really obsessed with their own behavior because they realize that it is different from that of other people, and they want to figure out why and how.
This is because they always analyze the world from a purely rational point of view, and thus, they can embark on a study into the behavior of others, without really caring about the behavior of others (paradoxically as that may seem) and instead, always reflect everything back on themselves.
This is often mistaken for narcissism, but in reality it is more of a "science project" and a way to classify the world for an aspie, instead of a method of self-glorification, like it would be for a narcissist.
It's also exactly what I've seen Socrates do on the board that has annoyed everybody so much over the past month: he reflects everything back to himself, without really caring about the concepts of others.

In the end, it's still just a label... so many disorders have so many overlapping symptoms that saying what's what is sometimes not only nearly impossible, but also not really necessary.


< Message edited by Ishtarr -- 6/2/2010 10:40:46 AM >


_____________________________


Du blutest für mein Seelenheil
Ein kleiner Schnitt und du wirst geil
Egal, erlaubt ist, was gefällt

Ich tu' dir weh.
Tut mir nicht Leid!
Das tut dir gut.
Hör wie es schreit!

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 10:48:36 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel
Whiplashsmile4,

Your response makes no real sense to me because you are speaking of specifics. If you read my post i am very clear on the some do and some don't concept with regard to slave mentality.

I actually felt a little bad, because I realized I had missed what you stressed in the last sentence of your post. Let's put this way, imagine how it sort of reads if the last sentence were to be removed. So yeah, I sort of went Dugh to myself after I reread it.

quote:


and i guess i should have put the tongue in cheek icon with regard to the skipping around comment. Believe me, i have spent YEARS on this board trying to explain that slaves don't necessarily do everything with a smile on their face and joy joy joy singing in their lil slave hearts lol and bringing the realistic concept into it. But my comment was very tongue in cheek due to a few comments i read about how someone with a slave mentality would react.


I actually thought perhaps you were thinking, I viewed it as such, and that perhaps you were trying to give me the tounge in cheek. (ironic I actually perfer literal tounge in cheek over the figurative... bitch slapping my filthy mind out of the gutter now).

quote:


To me, if someone GIVES their autonomy, they are not of a slave mentality but of a submissive mentality. They are determining for themselves what they will do with their autonomy -- they are the ACTION not the reaction to an outside catalyst, being the action rather than the reaction to me negates the concept of mastery which IS to me needed to enable the slave mentality to become slave. That is why i have always seen being a submissive and being a slave as different concepts.

You are way to focused on the word "serve" instead of the whole concept. Serving is simply a part of what a slave may do for he who holds her autonomy, its not the whole of how she exists in his life and its not the whole of simply being slave. However, it has to start with a slave mentality, which means to go further to actually becoming a slave there has to be an external determination not internal determination to move from a slave mentality to being an actual slave.

So, while you may think a slave mentality is one that makes determinations and puts those determinations into actions HOPING someone will REACT to such a determination such as hey i have my autonomy here i want to GIVE it to you. Rather than an external force removing the determination from the slave mentality person and taking same through their ability to master -- thereby making the determination and control start with, remain and continue with the external force ACTING rather than reacting.

To me the Master acts, he doesn't react. Therefore, he determines to take rather than the slave mentality person determining to give. People may say its the same thing -- but its not and that very slight difference and perception in my opinion and is what to me distinguishes a slave mentality turning into an actual slave.

angel

angel


In regards to M/s verse D/s, I sincerely was trying to refrain from injecting my own personal views on the differences and was attempting to post some basics for the OP to read and reflect upon. Your post sincerely expanded other aspects that I was uncertain about expressing, so as to not add too much confusion to a basic concept. I was thinking about the prisoner slave aspect which is another topic almost in itself. It's a little hard to pitch out everything at once to somebody like the OP, who I not feel has a good grasp on a number of aspects. Stuff that many people have been trying to repeat over and over again on a multitude of threads.

In regards to the difference between acts and reacting, to take verse to recieve. I still remember the day, when the girl was with 24/7 for 7 half years, spoke up and said "please don't take this the wrong way, but I sincerely think what you need is a slave." All of this said very loving and in a good way without any malice or insult. She was a submissive that did not have the "slave mentality".

Again, I seemed to have missed the last sentence of your post, which makes a bit of a difference.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 11:20:19 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
I'm going to ask you a very serious question.  I don't do this very often, but now twice, I am doing it with you. 

Do you really want to know what I think?

You may or may not like what I have to say.  I will promise you that it will be My honest assessment.  I will not say anything specifically with the intention of offending you, but I will not coddle you either.  With that in mind, you can choose to read My response or not.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

I think that, to a certain extent, I have a slave mentality.

I don't believe that you do.  I think you have the potential of having one, should you find the right situation.  That is going to be at minimum, some time down the road.  It would definitely have to be with the right Dominant female that would make a good match for you, but the possibility exists.

quote:

I am not usually submissive to people if I don't have to be, and I don't have a desire to be submissive to them,
so I don't have neither submissive personality, nor submissive mentality. But I have a slave mentality.

I think you are confused on the fact that submissive folks are not necessarily submissive to everyone.  It's fair to say that some of them are, but it is not universal.  Many submissives are people pleasers by nature.  Others may only feel that way towards certain people or situations.  Neither is more valid than the other.


quote:

By "having a slave mentality" I mean that almost at every single moment of time I am enslaved
to something, and this enslavement prevents me from either doing what is really most beneficial
to me or from just having genuine fun.

There is a big difference between being obsessed with something and having a slave mentality.  Let's also not forget that, in pursuing these things that you made obsessions, the convenient by-product of the situation was that you were not putting yourself in social situations.  Something that an introvert might tend to prefer.  This type of escape allowed you the option of not facing that little fact, which may have actually helped to fuel the obsessions.

quote:

I will list some of the things that I was enslaved to so far:

I'm not going to go over these point by point.  Many times, folks will try to achieve more knowledge on things such as books or music simply because they do not wish to feel inferior to others on such subjects.  I have a feeling that is very much what was driving you, as I do get the impression in the way that you come across that you are attempting to feel superior, even in those areas where you have no justification for it.  This is a pitfall that many folks who are above average intelligence can fall into.  They can have real issues if they think people see them as inferior, and it brings up a lot of self doubt.

I am going to address this one in particular.


quote:

7. Engaging in endless debates on forums, usually arguing for the position that is on some
theoretical, ethical or idealistic level true, but which is hard to implement in practice,
or people are unwilling to implement it in practice, usually because it's more convenient
to choose easier way. Or my position, quite simply, despite being true - doesn't work.
Although I am aware of this fact, I still feel the urge to defend my position because,
I genuinely think my position is true.

In case you haven't noticed, you are extremely obsessed with this.  I would hate to be one of your professors at university.  If you honestly believed that 2+2=5, I would have to spend the entire semester to get you to believe that 2+2=4.  Even if I and every other student told you that 2+2=4, you would not be convinced and the progress of education would be at a standstill.

Very much in the same way you have been here your short two weeks and time after time on these forums, folks have told you the simplest concepts about BDSM or power dynamics that are as simple to us (because we live them) as 2+2=4.  Yet, you can not be convinced that they do not equal 5.

quote:

Maybe the underlying reason of all that I explained is my introversion, namely social interactions
after some time cause a lot of stress to me and later I feel exhausted - so maybe I chose easier,
indirect way to learn some things (which is never as good as direct way - learning through experience).

While your goals were not bad goals, many of them were not necessarily for you.  Some of them were specifically with how other people perceive you in mind. 

quote:

However, if someone really put enough pressure on me, I would do their bidding to my own detriment.
I wouldn't be willing to do it, I would be very hesitant and I would regret later,
but still I would do it, only if enough pressure is applied to me.
I wouldn't even consent to it (in my mind I would repeat over and over "why do you allow such idiots to use you")
but still I would do what they asked.

I honestly think that you have more submissive drive than you would like to admit (that's something different than slave mentality) but you have a lot of fear associated with it.  Big fears about being exploited are a constant theme with you.  I also tend to think that you are afraid that your own self esteem issues would be worse if a Dominant happened to discover them, making the insecurities that you have worse than they are now. 

quote:

Also, when I am in a group of peers, I usually follow them, without much
influence in making decisions. These decisions aren't that important
(for example in which cafe we will go, in which nightclub we will go, etc, quite trivial)
but still, I usually follow their decision (of the group), even if I really don't feel like it.

It would seem more to Me that your reasons for following the pack have very little to do with submissive feelings that you have.  Rather you don't want to make waves with your acceptance level with your friends.  Not the same thing at all.

quote:

Despite everything that I just said, there are also some dominant traits in my personality,
and some people were very satisfied when they allowed me to lead them in some things,
but this is whole another thread.

I think it might be interesting for you to look at what inspires these supposed Dominant traits.  There is a difference between wanting to be a leader, rather than wanting to lead because you are uncertain of your destiny from being led.  Having a desire to control someone doesn't usually stem from a fear of what might happen to you if you were controlled by someone else.

quote:

Has anyone else on this forum experienced anything similar to what I just described?

Not first hand, but I've spoken with a number of male submissives that have had some of the very same concerns that I think you have.  It can be more difficult for a male to feel social acceptance and be submissive at the same time.  I can not speak for where you live, but generally, males are socially conditioned for the stereotypical 'macho man' mentality.  They are led to believe that, if there is going to be a leader in a relationship, it should be the male.  This doesn't even have anything to do with BDSM.  Rather, it has to do with the expectations that some folks feel are placed on them before they even know who they are.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 6/2/2010 11:24:16 AM >


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 11:22:38 AM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline
When it comes to Asperger's, I really don't like this diagnosis. Maybe I have some symptoms, but I don't want to identify with this, nowadays, overdiagnosed disease.
First, because so-called Aspies think that they actually don't have a disorder, but, they are "gifted" and they "don't want to be cured".
When it comes to my IQ, it's above average, but it has nothing to do whatsoever with my poor social skills.
Also, if there is a way that could make me more sociable I would very much love to be cured, instead of accepting my poor social skills as incurable and proclaiming them to be a disorder that I have no control over.
When it comes to my childhood, actually I was more sociable in my childhood than in my adolescence.
However, as introvert with high IQ, I was also very fond of intellectual things such as reading encyclopedias etc.
Actually, I was smarter than most of my peers, which caused me to sometimes feel bored playing with them. (I apologize if I sound like an arrogant asshole)
This, further, caused my social skills to be poor, because I didn't spend enough time playing with them.
But I was very comfortable in company of adults and I would talk with them about many things.
Also, my social skills suck probably because I lived most of my life as the only child only with my mother. No brothers, no sisters, no father.
Unlike some of the children who are very happy to be only children and get all the attention, I always wanted to have brothers and sisters.
I tried many times to persuade my mother to find another man and to have children with him, or even to adopt a child.
All my fixations were rational, goal-oriented and planned in advance, unlike typical Aspie fixations that happen spontaneously, aren't goal oriented and not very useful.
For example, I first decided that I should learn about music and develop my music tastes (in order to be able to enjoy it and talk about it intelligently), then I started
actually pursuing this goal in a rational way - I listened to most critically acclaimed popular and classical music, while reading about it at the same time articles on Wikipedia
and elsewhere - which cause me to really develop my tastes and understanding about music - and now I know more about it than most of my peers.
Typical Aspie would fix usually only on a specific genre trying to know everything about it, while neglecting other genres, and without trying to get broader understanding.
The same is true for films and books. I actually tried to understand it, to learn about notable films and books, unlike most Aspies that would fix on collecting large volumes of trivial information (such as dates when films were released, names of studios, etc) about usually obscure types of films, music and books. I always started from most notable and important, later progressing to not-so-important works. For example, my first encounter with classical music was listening to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, which is probably the most important classical music work of all time.
And also, while for most Aspies, their fixations are pure escapism, my fixations were usually socially motivated, I actually tried to compensate my lack of social skills
with ability to have intelligent conversations on some always-interesting topics such as films, music, and movies.
Dieting and exercise also served the same purpose - to look better and be more accepted.

Even if I got diagnosed with Asperger's now, what is the benefit of it? No one ever suspected that I have Asperger's or autisam in my whole life, until I myself started reading about such disorders. And yer they still claim there's no cure. ( Which I disagree with, and think that this is only politically correct "truth" promulgated in order to
cause acceptance of Aspies and Aspie-ish behavior and to assure them that they don't need to be cured. They even invented foolish concepts of neurodiversity, etc.)
Well, there is a cure. One of them is alcohol or some other anxyolitic, which sometimes makes wonders.
Second cure, (more seriously) is oxytocin - a hormon which causes people to be more emphatetic and trusting, increases bonds between people etc.
Nowadays they even sell oxytocin nasal spray, which is proved to be effective in increasing social skills.
Third cure is actually taking a deep breath and actually going out and socializing and not whining around.
Forth cure is ecstasy (unfortunately this is illegal, but it would help tremendously people with pure social skills if legal and controlled variants were available, in controlled
and safe doses).

I visited few times Aspie websites such as "wrong planet" and I don't like them at all. I don't like atmosphere on these sites, I don't like topics they discuss,
I don't like their attitude that they are just different (they actually think they are even superior to all the other people - neurotypicals), they don't want to be cured,
and they even take pride in their asocial behavior and weird obsessions. Well, I maybe also had obsessions but at least they weren't weird.

I have strong feelings of ethics and on this bases I am very opposed to acceptance of isolation and asocial behavior. My ethics tells me that people have a duty to be in contact with other people, to help them when they need, to be useful members of community and to contribute to this community. I don't want to be isolated in Aspie-land
and obsessed with fucking symptoms and whining around telling people that I have a disorder, but it isn't actually a disorder, just a different way of expressing neurodiversity - Bullshit!

However, I agree that I am introverted. Actually - highly introverted. My poor social skills and tendency to get isolated has more to do with my lack of self-confidence and
high level of social anxiety than with lack of real desire to socialize or lack of ability to understand people. Typical Aspie usually doesn't have problems with social anxiety,
he would be very comfortable to talk to someone about something that this person absolutely doesn't give a shit about and bore them to death. While I sometimes love to talk about my favorite topics, I usually stop as soon as I see that they are not interested, and it doesn't take me a long to notice it. Actually, my social anxiety causes me to be very careful about everything and as soon as I notice that my input in conversation isn't appreciated I shut up.


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Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 11:31:35 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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Miss CIllie Goos really has poor social skills, she tries to chase every one off.

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all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

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(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 11:49:15 AM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
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Lady Pact, I read now your response, and I am not offended at all, quite the opposite, I think most of what you said is very true for me.
Also, I admit I had a good laughs when I read about me insisting that "2+2=5", while not so drastic, I believe it's sort of true in my case.
Anyway, thanks for your honest assessment.


_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 11:55:15 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
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Oh fuck me it's nice to see you posting OSF.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 12:10:02 PM   
Arpig


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Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

I had some real addictions in my life, luckily not to dangerous drugs, alcohol and gambling, but still they were addictions. For example: to coffee, to porn, to the Internet, ... but if I really wanted to stop, I could without problems.
If you can stop "without problems" then its not an addiction.

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(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 12:17:17 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:


S.N.
Go do something active. Go bowling. Take a cooking class. Learn to dance the rhumba. Play the drums. Do something besides rattle brain sabers.


Sunhinemiss, you actually very correctly guessed some of my interests.
I love playing drums, I love food, and also I am quite good at preparing it (maybe that's why I was a little fat), I had dancing classes (latino american and standard dances); only bowling I haven't tried yet.
But I love table tennis, for example. But, it's always good to learn new activities. Skiing will probably be my next challenge.

_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 60
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