SocratesNot
Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010 Status: offline
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Maybe you skipped it, but earlier in this thread I said about Aspergers this: quote:
I think it is more likely that I have Addictive Personality than Asperger's Syndrome. Once I suspected that I might have Asperger's but after some more thinking I concluded that it's probably not the case. For example, in a real life, I never talk only about the topic that I'm interested in, also I have no problems with social cues in real life interactions, I can be empathetic. emotional etc. All of these things are incompatible with Asperger's. All of these enslavements were perfectly rational and have more to do with my idealistic character (which finally lead to addictions). I was never obsessed with typical Aspie things such as collecting information about types of dinosaurs, remembering train schedules etc. I did once AQ test (Autistic Spectrum Test) and my results were in normal range (around 20), but this is still a bit higher than average. But addictive personality, I'm not sure, I will read more about it. Maybe I have it I had some real addictions in my life, luckily not to dangerous drugs, alcohol and gambling, but still they were addictions. For example: to coffee, to porn, to the Internet, ... but if I really wanted to stop, I could without problems. From 27th January till 6th April 2008, I didn't use computer at all, just to prove to myself that I can be without it. And this: quote:
When it comes to Asperger's, I really don't like this diagnosis. Maybe I have some symptoms, but I don't want to identify with this, nowadays, overdiagnosed disease. First, because so-called Aspies think that they actually don't have a disorder, but, they are "gifted" and they "don't want to be cured". When it comes to my IQ, it's above average, but it has nothing to do whatsoever with my poor social skills. Also, if there is a way that could make me more sociable I would very much love to be cured, instead of accepting my poor social skills as incurable and proclaiming them to be a disorder that I have no control over. When it comes to my childhood, actually I was more sociable in my childhood than in my adolescence. However, as introvert with high IQ, I was also very fond of intellectual things such as reading encyclopedias etc. Actually, I was smarter than most of my peers, which caused me to sometimes feel bored playing with them. (I apologize if I sound like an arrogant asshole) This, further, caused my social skills to be poor, because I didn't spend enough time playing with them. But I was very comfortable in company of adults and I would talk with them about many things. Also, my social skills suck probably because I lived most of my life as the only child only with my mother. No brothers, no sisters, no father. Unlike some of the children who are very happy to be only children and get all the attention, I always wanted to have brothers and sisters. I tried many times to persuade my mother to find another man and to have children with him, or even to adopt a child. All my fixations were rational, goal-oriented and planned in advance, unlike typical Aspie fixations that happen spontaneously, aren't goal oriented and not very useful. For example, I first decided that I should learn about music and develop my music tastes (in order to be able to enjoy it and talk about it intelligently), then I started actually pursuing this goal in a rational way - I listened to most critically acclaimed popular and classical music, while reading about it at the same time articles on Wikipedia and elsewhere - which cause me to really develop my tastes and understanding about music - and now I know more about it than most of my peers. Typical Aspie would fix usually only on a specific genre trying to know everything about it, while neglecting other genres, and without trying to get broader understanding. The same is true for films and books. I actually tried to understand it, to learn about notable films and books, unlike most Aspies that would fix on collecting large volumes of trivial information (such as dates when films were released, names of studios, etc) about usually obscure types of films, music and books. I always started from most notable and important, later progressing to not-so-important works. For example, my first encounter with classical music was listening to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, which is probably the most important classical music work of all time. And also, while for most Aspies, their fixations are pure escapism, my fixations were usually socially motivated, I actually tried to compensate my lack of social skills with ability to have intelligent conversations on some always-interesting topics such as films, music, and movies. Dieting and exercise also served the same purpose - to look better and be more accepted. Even if I got diagnosed with Asperger's now, what is the benefit of it? No one ever suspected that I have Asperger's or autisam in my whole life, until I myself started reading about such disorders. And yer they still claim there's no cure. ( Which I disagree with, and think that this is only politically correct "truth" promulgated in order to cause acceptance of Aspies and Aspie-ish behavior and to assure them that they don't need to be cured. They even invented foolish concepts of neurodiversity, etc.) Well, there is a cure. One of them is alcohol or some other anxyolitic, which sometimes makes wonders. Second cure, (more seriously) is oxytocin - a hormon which causes people to be more emphatetic and trusting, increases bonds between people etc. Nowadays they even sell oxytocin nasal spray, which is proved to be effective in increasing social skills. Third cure is actually taking a deep breath and actually going out and socializing and not whining around. Forth cure is ecstasy (unfortunately this is illegal, but it would help tremendously people with pure social skills if legal and controlled variants were available, in controlled and safe doses). I visited few times Aspie websites such as "wrong planet" and I don't like them at all. I don't like atmosphere on these sites, I don't like topics they discuss, I don't like their attitude that they are just different (they actually think they are even superior to all the other people - neurotypicals), they don't want to be cured, and they even take pride in their asocial behavior and weird obsessions. Well, I maybe also had obsessions but at least they weren't weird. I have strong feelings of ethics and on this bases I am very opposed to acceptance of isolation and asocial behavior. My ethics tells me that people have a duty to be in contact with other people, to help them when they need, to be useful members of community and to contribute to this community. I don't want to be isolated in Aspie-land and obsessed with fucking symptoms and whining around telling people that I have a disorder, but it isn't actually a disorder, just a different way of expressing neurodiversity - Bullshit! However, I agree that I am introverted. Actually - highly introverted. My poor social skills and tendency to get isolated has more to do with my lack of self-confidence and high level of social anxiety than with lack of real desire to socialize or lack of ability to understand people. Typical Aspie usually doesn't have problems with social anxiety, he would be very comfortable to talk to someone about something that this person absolutely doesn't give a shit about and bore them to death. While I sometimes love to talk about my favorite topics, I usually stop as soon as I see that they are not interested, and it doesn't take me a long to notice it. Actually, my social anxiety causes me to be very careful about everything and as soon as I notice that my input in conversation isn't appreciated I shut up.
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Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle
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