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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 8:46:37 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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SN, did you grow up in an enviroment that was fairly structured? Meaning there was a consistent schedule for activities, also did you have set responsibilities and chores to do on a schedule? I'm asking because some of this may be the result of learned behavior or rather behaviors that you never learned.

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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 8:49:39 PM   
SocratesNot


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quote:

SN, did you grow up in an enviroment that was fairly structured? Meaning there was a consistent schedule for activities, also did you have set responsibilities and chores to do on a schedule? I'm asking because some of this may be the result of learned behavior or rather behaviors that you never learned.


Not very structured (except in school, college etc), at home chaotic would be more appropriate word.  I spent a lot of time alone, because I live only with my mother and she has a full time job, so I mostly did my chores without any predetermined schedule and without supervision.


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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 9:05:22 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
Not very structured (except in school, college etc), at home chaotic would be more appropriate word.  I spent a lot of time alone, because I live only with my mother and she has a full time job, so I mostly did my chores without any predetermined schedule and without supervision.

Hence, where you would follow routines inside an established structured environment and at home in your own domain it was not so organized.

I suspect you might thrive in a well structured home environment, if there were set expectations and give some form of order. Hell, I suspect you might thrive even under the control of a good women who's in charge of the show. However, if that's not your cup of tea to be with somebody like that, the alternative is for you to become fixated upon bringing Order and Structure to your own life.

Ironic, if you were to become fixated upon establishing order and routine and management of priorities and time. This might help you a lot. You also might want to consider rethinking the way you think about or view things. It's the excuses and lies we convince ourselves of that get us into trouble and help us avoid confronting the real issues.

In part, if you can establish your own routines, and I mean structured routines instead of treating everything as a "free for all", and keep a journal of your endevors and Hell even keep track of the time you're spending doing things. Stuff you can go back later and reread.

Basically, in striving to bring order to your life, using time management and working towards routines and doing this daily, you are in a sense engaging in Behavior modification. In terms of how you think about things, you should question yourself and your views a little, you need to cognitively take things a little more seriously. You need to periodically think about your Priorities throughout the day. Think a little more about the things "you need to do" without question to achieve your short term goals, and think about how your short term goals effect long term and such. Basically, I don't think you're used to thinking about this shit, unless you are forced to do so in a structure environment when somebody tells you you should be.

Sorry for being rather blunt here.

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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 9:09:11 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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I suspect in part, your problem is learned behavior or shall I say not having learned some critical behaviors that are key.

Also, I suspect in part that you rationalize excuses to maintain your own sense of "freedom", the freedom that allows you to feed your own desired fixations. The ironic part is that this is what is causing you to become enslaved. It's a catch 22, and you need to change how you view things to break out of it.

I don't think I'm too far off base here in what I'm expressing. perhaps other people will chime in some more about this.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 6/2/2010 9:11:22 PM >


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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 9:18:29 PM   
SocratesNot


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quote:

the alternative is for you to become fixated upon bringing Order and Structure to your own life.


Actually it WAS my fixation many times. I would write down set of rules and regulations all together with extensive time management,
and I would adhere strictly to The Rules and Regulations, but I wouldn't persist in it. After some time I would stop adhering to it for some reason,
and then again, I would make new Rules, which I would respect for some time, and then fail to respect them for some reason, and this process
was repeated several times, until I came to conclusion that this is not sustainable for me to adhere to ANY set of strict rules in long term.


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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 9:21:12 PM   
SocratesNot


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quote:

Hell, I suspect you might thrive even under the control of a good women who's in charge of the show.


Actually, this might even be a good idea. I'm usually better at accomplishing things when someone forces me, then when I try to motivate myself on my own.

However I am naturally rebellious, and I am willing to obey authority only if I respect it A LOT and find it TOTALLY legitimate. So, such women would have to be exceptional to me, and not just anyone.

< Message edited by SocratesNot -- 6/2/2010 9:25:17 PM >


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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 9:39:25 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

quote:

the alternative is for you to become fixated upon bringing Order and Structure to your own life.


Actually it WAS my fixation many times. I would write down set of rules and regulations all together with extensive time management,
and I would adhere strictly to The Rules and Regulations, but I wouldn't persist in it. After some time I would stop adhering to it for some reason,
and then again, I would make new Rules, which I would respect for some time, and then fail to respect them for some reason, and this process
was repeated several times, until I came to conclusion that this is not sustainable for me to adhere to ANY set of strict rules in long term.



I'm thinking perhaps you have a cognitive glitch going on here for whatever reason. Because you seem pretty self-aware of many things. You may need help of some kind in "Behavior modification" and perhaps even along the line of "Cognitive Therapy".

You need to modifiy your behaviors and the way you think about things, it's pretty self evident.

You are rather hyper-focused or obsessed with things, to the point it circumvents logic and common sense and priorities.

Have you consider what actually makes you so hyper-focused? While I am no expert, it's apparent you are dancing around with some issue or combination of issues. ADD, OCD or even Asperger Syndrome. There are probally some issue with learned behavior and such as well.

Clearly you realize you have an issue, that it's been impacting your life in a negative way, and that you need to start taking some form of action to get it under control. That so far you own attempts at getting it under control have failed. This may be in part, because you either have not developed the appropriate skills or behaviors to do so, or there are other reasons behind it. In either case, you should consider seeking help and assistence in dealing with this.

Seriously, have you considered being tested for Asperger syndrome, or are you perhaps scared of what the results would be? At the very least, you'll know where you are at on the score. You can always explore things in more detail. You don't have to accept the first diagnosis for anything. At times, it is wise to seek out multiple professionals when it's your own life that being effected by it. Sure, some professional hand out dianosis quickly, but not everybody is like this. You should be involved in the process. However, not not seeking out help when you are in over your head, well.. just ain't very good either.

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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 10:03:34 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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This might sound cruel, painful and damn near impossible. But you should force yourself to only spend X number of hours a day on computer, X hours a day reading what you want to read. Force yourself to spend X hours toward things you Need to do, i.e. cleaning, laundry, chores or something.

It probally is going to be painful and hard to do, but no pain, no gain. You should consider getting a large clock and placing it next to your computer, and other places of your room and house. Also, buy yourself a watch and wear it and get in the habit of looking at. The Clock is your boss.

Play "Fly like an Eagle" by Steve Miller on repeat mode.. "Time keeps on slipping slipping into the future". Which in essense is what is happening to your life, your future is slipping away because you are over indulging in things. Stop thinking of yourself as an addict. The next time you think of yourself as an addict, remind yourself about the people addicted to Crack and other things, that literally physically have an addiction problem that they clean out their parents checking and savings account to support their habit. Labeling yourself as an addict just might be an excuse you are using to justify your own behaviors. That perhaps it's an excuse you are hiding behind. You enjoy reading, you enjoy listing to music. You enjoy doing things you want to do, however you need to do things that you Don't enjoy as well to function and get by in this world.

Surround yourself with reminders of WHAT time it is, and get used to looking at the Clock. Place it where you can't help but notice what time it is.

Everybody knows that what seems like 5 minutes on a computer is really 30 minutes. Hell what seems like minutes can turn into hours. The little time clock in the bottom right hand corner of your PC screen is easy to not look at. Personally, get a fucking ALARM clock with nice Big Digital Glowing Red letters of the time and put that on your desk next to your Monitor or a place you can't help but notice it!! Use the Alarm function. If you are going to spend 2 hours on the PC, set the alarm.

If you cell phone has an alarm clock on it, use that too. Many Cell phones allow you to schedule alarms according to schedules as well. There's a reason why this is a feature, because it's useful to people to help them manage time.

When your time is up, you need to let go of what you are doing and force yourself to move onto doing something else. This is and will be mentally painful, do and enjoy and savor that fucking mental pain. Allow yourself to get into whatever else it is you need to do. Hell, force yourself into doing it, however painful or as much as you sincerely hate it.

You need to be able to shut down on circus of events and move onto the next circus of events in your day to day living.

If you are unable to achieve this, you seriously need to seek out professional help.

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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 10:05:20 PM   
SocratesNot


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Maybe you skipped it, but earlier in this thread I said about Aspergers this:

quote:

I think it is more likely that I have Addictive Personality than Asperger's Syndrome.
Once I suspected that I might have Asperger's but after some more thinking I concluded that it's probably not the case.

For example, in a real life, I never talk only about the topic that I'm interested in, also I have no problems with social cues in real life interactions,
I can be empathetic. emotional  etc. All of these things are incompatible with Asperger's.
All of these enslavements were perfectly rational and have more to do with my idealistic character (which finally lead to addictions).
I was never obsessed with typical Aspie things such as collecting information about types of dinosaurs, remembering train schedules etc.
I did once AQ test (Autistic Spectrum Test) and my results were in normal range (around 20), but this is still a bit higher than average.

But addictive personality, I'm not sure, I will read more about it. Maybe I have it
I had some real addictions in my life, luckily not to dangerous drugs, alcohol and gambling, but still they were addictions. For example: to coffee, to porn, to the Internet, ... but if I really wanted to stop, I could without problems.
From 27th January till 6th April 2008, I didn't use computer at all, just to prove to myself that I can be without it.


And this:

quote:

When it comes to Asperger's, I really don't like this diagnosis. Maybe I have some symptoms, but I don't want to identify with this, nowadays, overdiagnosed disease.
First, because so-called Aspies think that they actually don't have a disorder, but, they are "gifted" and they "don't want to be cured".
When it comes to my IQ, it's above average, but it has nothing to do whatsoever with my poor social skills.
Also, if there is a way that could make me more sociable I would very much love to be cured, instead of accepting my poor social skills as incurable and proclaiming them to be a disorder that I have no control over.
When it comes to my childhood, actually I was more sociable in my childhood than in my adolescence.
However, as introvert with high IQ, I was also very fond of intellectual things such as reading encyclopedias etc.
Actually, I was smarter than most of my peers, which caused me to sometimes feel bored playing with them. (I apologize if I sound like an arrogant asshole)
This, further, caused my social skills to be poor, because I didn't spend enough time playing with them.
But I was very comfortable in company of adults and I would talk with them about many things.
Also, my social skills suck probably because I lived most of my life as the only child only with my mother. No brothers, no sisters, no father.
Unlike some of the children who are very happy to be only children and get all the attention, I always wanted to have brothers and sisters.
I tried many times to persuade my mother to find another man and to have children with him, or even to adopt a child.
All my fixations were rational, goal-oriented and planned in advance, unlike typical Aspie fixations that happen spontaneously, aren't goal oriented and not very useful.
For example, I first decided that I should learn about music and develop my music tastes (in order to be able to enjoy it and talk about it intelligently), then I started
actually pursuing this goal in a rational way - I listened to most critically acclaimed popular and classical music, while reading about it at the same time articles on Wikipedia
and elsewhere - which cause me to really develop my tastes and understanding about music - and now I know more about it than most of my peers.
Typical Aspie would fix usually only on a specific genre trying to know everything about it, while neglecting other genres, and without trying to get broader understanding.
The same is true for films and books. I actually tried to understand it, to learn about notable films and books, unlike most Aspies that would fix on collecting large volumes of trivial information (such as dates when films were released, names of studios, etc) about usually obscure types of films, music and books. I always started from most notable and important, later progressing to not-so-important works. For example, my first encounter with classical music was listening to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, which is probably the most important classical music work of all time.
And also, while for most Aspies, their fixations are pure escapism, my fixations were usually socially motivated, I actually tried to compensate my lack of social skills
with ability to have intelligent conversations on some always-interesting topics such as films, music, and movies.
Dieting and exercise also served the same purpose - to look better and be more accepted.

Even if I got diagnosed with Asperger's now, what is the benefit of it? No one ever suspected that I have Asperger's or autisam in my whole life, until I myself started reading about such disorders. And yer they still claim there's no cure. ( Which I disagree with, and think that this is only politically correct "truth" promulgated in order to
cause acceptance of Aspies and Aspie-ish behavior and to assure them that they don't need to be cured. They even invented foolish concepts of neurodiversity, etc.)
Well, there is a cure. One of them is alcohol or some other anxyolitic, which sometimes makes wonders.
Second cure, (more seriously) is oxytocin - a hormon which causes people to be more emphatetic and trusting, increases bonds between people etc.
Nowadays they even sell oxytocin nasal spray, which is proved to be effective in increasing social skills.
Third cure is actually taking a deep breath and actually going out and socializing and not whining around.
Forth cure is ecstasy (unfortunately this is illegal, but it would help tremendously people with pure social skills if legal and controlled variants were available, in controlled
and safe doses).

I visited few times Aspie websites such as "wrong planet" and I don't like them at all. I don't like atmosphere on these sites, I don't like topics they discuss,
I don't like their attitude that they are just different (they actually think they are even superior to all the other people - neurotypicals), they don't want to be cured,
and they even take pride in their asocial behavior and weird obsessions. Well, I maybe also had obsessions but at least they weren't weird.

I have strong feelings of ethics and on this bases I am very opposed to acceptance of isolation and asocial behavior. My ethics tells me that people have a duty to be in contact with other people, to help them when they need, to be useful members of community and to contribute to this community. I don't want to be isolated in Aspie-land
and obsessed with fucking symptoms and whining around telling people that I have a disorder, but it isn't actually a disorder, just a different way of expressing neurodiversity - Bullshit!

However, I agree that I am introverted. Actually - highly introverted. My poor social skills and tendency to get isolated has more to do with my lack of self-confidence and
high level of social anxiety than with lack of real desire to socialize or lack of ability to understand people. Typical Aspie usually doesn't have problems with social anxiety,
he would be very comfortable to talk to someone about something that this person absolutely doesn't give a shit about and bore them to death. While I sometimes love to talk about my favorite topics, I usually stop as soon as I see that they are not interested, and it doesn't take me a long to notice it. Actually, my social anxiety causes me to be very careful about everything and as soon as I notice that my input in conversation isn't appreciated I shut up.



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Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 10:26:08 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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I sincerely have to express this, people with ADD have to learn new coping skills and skills that are critical to managing things. People with other similar issues have to learn and work very hard at skills that help them manage their disorder or issues. Sure, some people are treated in part with medications. However along with medications, there is also the development of new skills to help them manage things as best as can be done.

The development of this new skills does not happen over night and it takes some work, and it's not always easy.

Okay, I get it and understand that you not think you have Aspergers. However, you should consider what if you are "wrong". The Hyper-focusing issue is a given without question. you still need to develop and work at new coping and management skills, regardless of whatever dianosis there is for what's going on with you and whatever treatment is available.

In regards to cures for shit, there are a lot of things that people have that there are no real cures available for. At best a combination of things are used to help the person manage to live a somewhat productive life. This includes medications if so required, Behavioral Modifications, cognitive therapy, Coping Skills and etc...

Let me put it to you this way, What if for example you were suffering a lot from the physical symptons of cancer. Yet, you did not go seek out professional help? Would you lay around the house and let yourself die because you were afraid they'd tell you had an incurable form of cancer? What if it turned out it was not really cancer but some internal infection.

Seriously, if you are bound and determined that you can fix yourself on your own, then you either need to do it, or resolve to the fact you can't do it on your own and seek out help. You need to consider that perhaps you may or may not have Aspergers, ADD, OCD or whatever else.

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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 10:46:07 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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I'm all for the holistic approach to things before recommending treatment using a lot of the drugs that are used. However, I myself even know and realize that certain medications have actually helped people manage things dispite the side effects and such. The treatment and learning about the causes of various things, well we are still making many advances in these areas. However, you can't expect to wait around for difinitive sure fire cures. You have to live in the here and now.

If you can find a means to holistically get a grip on whatever is going on with you, you may be faced with the reality of having to resort to taking medication that helps you manage things, and if it improves the quality of your life in light of the side effects, it's a good thing. Different medications have different side effects. If these drugs did not help at all in the management of shit, they would not be used at all. Sincerely, think about for a moment.

I'm attempting to write things from a general perspective here, not knowing what the true root of your issue or problem is. I'm trying to give you something to think about for a moment.

I do tend to agree or believe that some things are over diagnosed and that pills are all too quickly handed out. You can attempt to work with professionals from the holistic perspective. However, once you've exhausted professional holistic help, you may have to consider alternatives. In regards to what it is you have, you can actually talk about this at length with the professionals as well. Not all professionals are a like either. Some are better compared to others. You need to find somebody that is right for you, and that you actually feel is helping you. Seriously..


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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 10:49:18 PM   
SocratesNot


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quote:

You need to consider that perhaps you may or may not have Aspergers, ADD, OCD or whatever else.


I actually think that in some time in my life I experienced some symptoms of all of these diseases.
However, I don't want to identify with them, especially not with Aspergers, because people with Aspergers usually take pride
in being "different" and don't even try to solve their issues.

I don't want to be a part of subculture of weirdos who don't even want to try to cure themselves and who take pride in being asocial and weird.

If I one day realized that I really have Asperger's I would try EVERYTHING to cure it.
Even some non-standard treatments such as hypnosis, drugs, really anything, because having Asperger's is totally inconsistent with each and every aspiration that I have in my life.

Even if I wasn't very inclined to be always actively involved in social life and socializing, social life is THE most important thing to me,
everything about social life, connections, sociology, psychology, society, literature, music, cinema, humanities, art etc, all the social sciences are very
interesting and important to me.

I don't care about dinosaur bones and train schedules or about memorizing some useless information and learning mechanically about pointless weird things without understanding.

What I learn I want to learn WITH understanding, and I want to actively participate in social life and to actively contribute to society.

I really HOPE that all of my issues were caused by living in unusual kind of family, in an unstructured environment, combined with being introverted and having IQ a little above average (which caused me to be absorbed in intellectual stuff instead of being immersed in social life).

I HOPE that I'm just a lazy nerd.

I actually think that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy might be very useful to me, no matter what the diagnosis is.

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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 11:10:14 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
I actually think that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy might be very useful to me, no matter what the diagnosis is.


It can't hurt, and you might want to explore something called Rational Living Therapy which falls under CBT. Because it's not focused upon the DMV labels and such. Do you remember my post about "I am what I am" verses "I will be what I will be"? One being a static helpless state, and the other being a dynamic empowering state. Mind you, this is coming from my religious or spiritual belief system. None the less, it's ironic how it applies to some forms of CBT.

There are different types of CBT, like anything else.. it might take a specific type of therapy that you respond to best.

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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 11:42:05 PM   
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I jumped through, sorry but I had to because I wanted to let your post sink in, and have some time to think about it. To let it fuse in my mind which might yield a coherent thought.

"I think that, to a certain extent, I have a slave mentality. "

Well I think that, to a certain extent, you are very much not alone. Thuinking in broader terms, much of what we see and hear in our lives from day one tends to condition us, to comply, to obey or at least to conform, go with the flow or compromise one's self in exactly some of the ways you decribed.

I think the matter of just how much of this trait is voluntary is precisely the point. It is human nature to seek out companionship and therefore it is logical to be acceptable to one's companions. We do this volutarily. We do it on so many levels of which we are unaware for the most part, just naturally. But then just to bring up the sordid subject for the hell of it, smoking. Some people do not allow smoking in their home. You can A.Not smoke or 2. Get out. Your choice. But don't dwell on that because I just put it forth as an example of one of the finer points that people nit pick today, totally unaware of the core of their being.

And really, you didn't allude to there being all that much in the way of coersion, save for social and/or peer pressure. What that boils down to is in the final analysis, you made the decision to do what you did. There is also the possibility that these "wrong" decisions have taken you into territory into which you would not have taken yourself, in which case, time may prove it to be enlightening. If you are happy with yourself though, don't worry - be happy. If you are unhappy because of this, then it is time not to just examine the current situation, but what caused you to be this way. It all hinges upon whether or not you see it as a problem.

Indeed if you are happy and healthy, maybe you should just keep doing what you're doing.

T

[I'll read the rest of this and be baaaack]

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RE: Slave mentality - 6/2/2010 11:56:31 PM   
SocratesNot


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quote:

"I will be what I will be"?


I like this sentence very much and I totally agree with this dynamic empowerment approach.
This is also very similar to existentialist philosophy which states that existence comes before essence. Which means that as soon as we exist as conscious beings,
we can shape our essence, we can influence what will we be in the future.
I completely agree with this approach.
Also, I will try to read about Rational Living Therapy, this seems interesting to me.


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RE: Slave mentality - 6/3/2010 1:04:56 AM   
Termyn8or


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I wonder at this point how many people know what the word "slavic" really means.

This RLT, I dunno. I'm thinking that at best it would read like something I would write. But IMO you shoulodn't read the complete opinions and conclusions of another for application to your life. That differs from person to person. It is much better to get the idea on your own. The ultimate teacher doesn't teach a subject, he teaches the student how to learn. Of course some of that involves reading, but there is more to it. The best can calculate a discussion, forming it and directing it a way with interaction to really get the point across. I have found very few such people.

If your study of life would be launched, most likely by a couple of books, you would not like it. The study of humans, Man's inhumanity to Man, once you get your gullet full of that, it might leave you wondering if it was worth it to give up the bliss. You will find yourself unafraid to leave humanity, but if you are emotionally strong enough, you see it as an asset, like a form of freedom. You could hold a gun to my head and I wouldn't give you the time of day. That's where I am at now, but I have to warn that there were times that were quite depressing, just watching the news, and thinking as I do about the ramifications of what I've just seen. If not for the emotional strength embodied in me by my background, I would surely be insane by now.

In layman's terms you can't flip thorugh the cable channels on any day and not see some MFs fucking people over just because they CAN. That is not and never has been right, even the nine charges of Odinism were against it. Deal not hardly with the humble and lowly. Now turn on the TV. The proof is right there, and that's even if you only believe half of what you see.

But you didn't really say if you consider this a problem. Even a half a point on the GPA doesn't mean all that much, at least it's not the end of the world. Many people probably do much worse going to too many toga parties. Even losing a couple of people because of your ways, were they really friends if they caught the next ride out because of your ways ? And these supposed mistakes, did they cost you really alot of money ?

It all needs to be put into perspective, and the only person who can do that is you.

T

< Message edited by Termyn8or -- 6/3/2010 1:10:50 AM >

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Slave mentality - 6/3/2010 4:03:37 AM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
SocratesNot, being labeled shouldn't cause some drastic change in WHO you are.  If you were labeled with Aspergers, it would be your choice on how you choose to process this.  I know many people who are Aspies, and none are how you describe.  One site does not a majority make...maybe birds of a feather flock together  and I'm talking like minded people, and ones easily led by others.  The rest are scattered about the countryside leading "normal" boring lives.  My Aspie ex-hubby is a 50 something year old security guard now, and has no illusions of grandeur. 

At least a half dozen of my friends have had children affected by autism...and so is my son.  Each one is an individual, and is too wrapped up in their own obsessive interests to give a flying flock about joining MENSA or joining in an Aspie pride flag waving parade.

quote:

However, I don't want to identify with them, especially not with Aspergers, because people with Aspergers usually take pride
in being "different" and don't even try to solve their issues.

I don't want to be a part of subculture of weirdos who don't even want to try to cure themselves and who take pride in being asocial and weird.

If I one day realized that I really have Asperger's I would try EVERYTHING to cure it.
Even some non-standard treatments such as hypnosis, drugs, really anything,


Why shouldn't people take pride in their accomplishments?  My son has no internal manager that tells him when to do things, and this can be a royal pain in my butt, however...he has a phenomenal memory, is a decent and kind person, and is loveable.  He's a wiz at making things with his hands.  He's always been a geek, but now that he's 6 ft. something and built like a football player, the other guys respect his size and have dropped tormenting him and otherwise trying to convince him that he doesn't deserve to live because he's not like them, and doesn't fit in. 

If you don't like this online group, then don't join.  Be true to yourself, and if you need help, then find it.  A lot of people seem to need labels added to them when they're young (I'm an old thing of 46, so I can talk junk about you young whippersnappers, lol), but really it's because they're messing up their brain's chemicals by not taking care of themselves.  Be sure to get on a regular sleep schedule, and between 8-9 hours per night.  Seriously restrict your caffiene from coffee, soda pop, energy drinks, or diet pills, because some people have been misdiagnosed with manic depression from overusing coffee.  Eat a balanced diet, and on days you goof, swallow a multivitamin.  Create balance in your life, live by a schedule that won't burn you out through overzealous micromanagement.

Some things cannot be cured.  We deal with it the best way we can, and sometimes discover unexpected blessings among the wreckage of our plans/dreams.  Having a label is not a way of letting you off the hook...it merely means that you have to try harder and maybe take longer. 

Think of it this way.  Two people study a foreign language...one man learns it in 2 years, the other man took 10...but in the end, both had acquired the same knowledge.  You might take longer to learn to set priorities, to manage time wisely...it will be frustrating, but with some help you will eventually find a way to learn or get into a good habit/ritual. 

Some things are both a blessing and a curse.  Accentuate the positive, eliminate or downsize the negative.

If you do get diagnosed with a label you dislike...don't emulate people you disrespect.  Set the bar higher...become the one that others can look up to. 

Btw, I had a boss years ago who had ADHD, and he was amazing.  He could work all of us into the ground without breaking a sweat...I wish I had energy like his.  (He was also an a**h*** but nobody's perfect.)  He'd had a terrible time in school, and was forced to take Ritalin.  Later on when he grew up, his "disability" became an asset.

Find out how you can help yourself and start taking baby steps in that direction.  Small steps can become habits, but massive changes all at once can be just setting yourself up for a fall.

If you need to comment about anything I've said, and wish me to answer, it will need to be through my mailbox because I'll probably forget to check back in to this thread.  Someone in the message boards some months back took me seriously and sent a link back to the thread, bless him.  

Though I don't often leave posts, I've read many of the threads you've started all over the message boards and have found the discussions interesting.  At first I wondered if you were using us as lab rats, but now I accept that you are one of us and just want to learn as much as you can as fast as you can.  I'll look forward to reading more of your posts.

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Slave mentality - 6/3/2010 1:28:43 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

If you are happy with yourself though, don't worry - be happy. If you are unhappy because of this, then it is time not to just examine the current situation, but what caused you to be this way. It all hinges upon whether or not you see it as a problem.

Indeed if you are happy and healthy, maybe you should just keep doing what you're doing.


Indeed, I am mostly happy with everything I did, and the purpose of this thread was not to declare myself sick nor to ask for help, but just to state how it is possible to be enslaved to some things and to describe some sort of "slave mentality" that I recognized in myself.

All of these things that I did helped me to broaden my horizons and to get some valuable knowledge, so I don't regret doing them.
Also, most of what I did was socially motivated.

I am only bothered by the fact that all of these things I pursued a bit too seriously, to the point that I felt bad if I started neglecting them.
In some moments doing these things was a burden that prevented me to freely enjoy life and have fun.
This is the type of "enslavement" that I was trying to describe.

When it comes to my time management, it's far from perfect, but still, when I really had to do something, I usually did it.
When doing something wasn't absolute priority, I'd rather do something else.
That's why I usually study for the exams in last moments.


_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Slave mentality - 6/3/2010 9:13:48 PM   
Silence8


Posts: 833
Joined: 11/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
quote:


External Control that interupted your pattern of behavior. Sounds like to me if you were left to your own idle devices, that you would continue this pattern of behavior, until another fixation or obsession takes hold to over-ride it?


Not always, sometimes I would simply firmly decide to stop doing it.
For example from January 27th to April 6th 2008, I haven't used computer at all. Just to prove to myself that I can. And this had very beneficial effects on me.


As I said, another obsession to take hold and over-ride it. You were fixated upon knowing if you could do this or not, so therefore it really did happen. :-) Don't you think or believe how you reacted was rather extreme? You were fixated upon doing so, so it actually happened. You replaced one fixation with another in this case. Not using a computer "At All" from Jan 27 until April 6th was/is rather extreme.

What I'm seeing here is the Fixation becoming a bit of a mask, to the fixation itself. Where you were fixated upon controlling your own fixated internet use.


What do you think bdsm fetish tends to be?

A fixation fixation.



(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Slave mentality - 6/3/2010 9:17:10 PM   
Silence8


Posts: 833
Joined: 11/2/2009
Status: offline
Oh, SN, I've seen no indication you have any social or intellectual issues, based on this limited forum.


You're just significantly more reflective (there are other adjectives I'm considering, but out of a sense of modesty...) than, well, a lot of people, which can seem fairly threatening.


It is!

(in reply to Silence8)
Profile   Post #: 100
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