RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First?

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laurell3 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:38:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron If you have to go through all that just to get dates maybe you might want to start picking up a couple checks cause that must be one scary ass mug to beat into submission if you HAVE to do all that just to get a date. QSM Like I said before, the reason you guys are complaining about women is because you need to work on YOU. If you come here and talk to women on this site in the way you have; it leaves little doubt the one at home is being talked to much the same way. Why don't you go to your significant other and ask her why she didn't pay for any of your dates when you were taking her out. She may give you a better answer than what you got here. Your real problem is that you think women are the problem. When the problem is really you. I don't agree. I think he's right. I think that general presumption about dating in life in general is silly and antiquated. I think it's ridiculous to demand equality then hide behind the lack thereof and take advantage. Saying I'm unequal in the work force but oh I have to pay for my nails so you have to pay for me is absolutely fucking ludicrious in my opinion. You want equality, stop playing feminine mind games. You cannot have it both ways and you're hurting the rest of us that truly desire it. If I bitched about all the sexist people I meet in the workforce I would do nothing other than that. I demand equality because I am GOOD, not because I am female. HOWEVER, I'm not sure that applies at all to D/s, nor am I referring to that obviously. In a femdom led relationship inequality is expected and if you don't want a Mistress that wants stuff or money, find another. In a maledom led relationship sexism is accepted and even encouraged in many instances. I accept as a privlege that which would make feminists I know ill. It's not equal in this realm. It's not reasonable to expect it to be. You can't make femdoms be generic women, they aren't, most wouldn't want them to be.

Elisabella -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:40:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan I see since you spend so much money trying to fool men into thinking you look some way that you really don't we should pay for your food. Now I understand. I make an effort for him, he makes an effort for me. quote: I take back everything I said about equality. You do realize you just set women back about 75 years? I didn't realize I had the power to affect every member of my gender with my personal choices. Nifty. Does that mean if I get a hysterectomy there will be no more babies in the world EVAR??? quote: Guess what, I don't care about that shit. my wife can get up and get ready to go and be out the house in 20 minutes. That is sexy. She doesn't wear make-up, no Stocking, no Professional nail jobs. That's cool. When my husband and I go out on a date he emails me from work to let me know he wants to do something and I spend a few hours getting pretty. He appreciates it. I enjoy doing it for him. That is sexy too. quote: If your profession is one that you would lose your job if you did not maintain this outlook how does your professional choice influence our dating life? Well if we both make the same amount, and you spend $5k a year on your professional image and I spend $15k a year on my professional image it's a nice gesture for you to use that surplus income on us. quote: If you have to go through all that just to get dates maybe you might want to start picking up a couple checks cause that must be one scary ass mug to beat into submission if you HAVE to do all that just to get a date. If I'm ever single again I will keep that in mind. quote: Or maybe just be nice and be yourself and do things you like doing and maybe take a guy out and pay for his meals. Maybe bring him chocolates, maybe bring him flowers..... Or save you money cause guys rarely judge women on these standards, just expect to pay and be APPRECIATIVE when you don't have to, rather than calling him a loser cause he doesn't wanna spring for your share of the Red Lobster bill. I do do things I like doing. I like going all out to get pretty for dates. I like getting flowers. I think my husband would look at me weird if I bought him flowers. I already said I wouldn't call a guy a loser if he didn't buy me dinner. I'd just say that he and I have different expectations, no harm done. And I am appreciative when he takes me out, or buys me flowers. I've dated guys who like taking girls out. It makes them feel all masculine or something. I don't see why I should be expected to change the behavior I enjoy doing, which attracts the type of guys that I'm attracted to, in order to please some other guy who I don't even share the same ideals with. It seems counterproductive. And I've had guys tell me I wear too much makeup, or my shoes are stupid, or what sort of crazy person spends that much on changing their hair color. I can cope with that. Chances are, if he's not compatible with me, I'm not compatible with him either. Really, it doesn't bother me that much, at least not enough to start posting about how guys should all pay for dinner because it's what I prefer and screw all the rest of the women who want something else.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:40:59 PM)
Thank you, Laurell!

AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:44:43 PM)
@laurell3 You know that is the hardest part of this discussion. In the Power Exchange world there are so manyt exceptions to the overall rule that it can get turned upside down. But if you scrutinize hard and long enough you can still see that more FemDom's have their malesubs pay and more MaleDom's pay for their femsubs. The Gendercentric Idealism and paradigm is still there it's just in the BDSM canopy you find more exceptions to this rule than you do in the overall pool. I think that is because here things like this get discussed and people form very distinct lines on how they feel about it. QSM

Elisabella -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:46:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 While that may be true to an extent, it doesn't follow that some poor dude that didn't in fact create the work force should pay for you because you're bitter. There's no logic in your connection at all. I'm going to tell you, I do not get my nails done, I do not dye my hair, I do not spend the amount of money you do apparently, because I want to be able to afford to live in other ways, that includes paying my way on dates. I get plenty of them without all those things, believe me. I never said that some poor dude should pay for me. I said that the guys I've been in relationships with have all paid for dates. Those are my standards. Mine alone. And the guys I've dated...haven't complained. Some of them even went out of their way to take me out, I'm really not all that high maintenance, if a guy wanted to take me out to a 4 star restaurant it's because he wanted to make a particular impression, not because I expected him to. And I'm not bitter. In fact I'm happily married, and not even working at the moment. The only thing I'm bitter about is the line of thought that says that women should change their expectations because guys don't like them. If a guy doesn't meet my expectations, we go our separate ways. If I don't meet his expectations, we go our separate ways. It's not that hard.

laurell3 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:52:18 PM)
QSM, I think that is true, however, maledom led relationships are rather misogynistic. Men DEMAND to pay in my experience. Even then, I have no expectation of that and I can tell you it starts arguments when I attempt to pay. We aren't responsible for your conditioning any more than you are responsible for the attitude you have taken offense to here. I'm not talking about lifestyle, it's impossible to quantify it. If you find someone that doesn't negotiate the financial parameters that you find acceptable, move on. I'm talking about life and I agree, the double standard is not only ridiculous, it hurts women. WE are keeping us in the dark ages, not them.

naughtynick81 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:54:08 PM)
Lockit quote: Don't dare speak for me lil darlin Oh, don't dare to disagree with your opinions because you have a pussy? Get over yourself quote: Most men around here seem to want only sex, but the men I meet in person are respectful and fully enjoy my personality So somehow men on websites are different to men in general elsewhere? Does that mean women on websites are different to women in general elsewhere to? As you were expressing before, its a turn off for women when men express negative thoughts upon most or all women. Yet, talking about this website alone, you express that "men around here only want sex" Let's go back to one of your quotes quote: and if you want to keep that opinion of women... I wish you luck because no woman I know and respect would have you. So from your opinion upon men on this site, if you want to keep that opinion on men on here, no man on this site should be with you, right? quote: You assumed I feel that all men want is sex. You assumed that men who complain about women with this problem think all women are this way quote: I have little problems with men uhuh, only the group of men on websites who are no different to the other group of men elsewhere LadyCimarron My god you have a lot to learn. quote: NO ONE is putting a gun to a man's head making him buy a woman shit or give her shit. Men do it for their dicks. Yes, some men do it for their dicks. But this is not speaking for all men or men like me who are not suckers. Women play this game to dig at men's insecurities. Yes, it's partly the man's fault for falling for it, but also, blame should go towards the women who are being sexist. But of course, female sexism seems acceptable or invisible a lot of the time in these types of situations. quote: IT IS EQUAL ROFL the most bigoted opinion I have seen in this thread. quote: She also spends hers if, when and how she wants to. In these situations, "when" does she spend it again? ahahaha quote: If you do it then its equal because just like the woman you have an equal CHOICE. So don't try to turn this shit on women. So if someone willingly gives another person privilege, it's equality? Even that both parties didn’t provide equal share? LOL I wish I was as logical as you quote: I will let you in a on secret that will really piss you off. WOMEN DO PAY FOR DATES Is this a secret? I didn't know that. I have always thought that some women out there pay for dates as it's been offered to me. quote: Just not for CERTAIN men. If you happen to meet her criteria she will not only go dutch she will pay for your meal and hers. Oh so just certain men now? So if the woman does not meet his criteria, does he have the right to make her pay for his expenses to or just her own? Damn these double standards ay? quote: The reason it doesn't happen to you is because, frankly, your game ain't tight enough to bring like that. Work on yourself and what you have to offer a woman. Oh of course, because I am just the average man and not above, I have to start paying for dates. Even that most women are just simply average themselves. But just because they have a pussy, they are above me. I have to work on myself to be above the average man while women just have to simply be women with the possession of a pussy and it all works out fine. To be honest, I believe women who think like you need to work on yourself on stop being chauvinists bigots. quote: Ask yourself, why is it that there are men ON THIS SITE who have women fucking and sucking them daily and they don't spend a dime on her? Men ON THIS SITE have women who admittedly whore themselves out to bring money home to big daddy. I don't hear those men on hear bitching about women. Just you guys. WHY? Probably because these men are on top (way above the average) Secondly, you are saying that men don't have the right to complain about such unfairness and sexism towards our gender? YOU are a raven sexist bigot. Get therapy please. You really have a superiority complex over men from all what you are saying in this post. You truly think men are below women. That is really disturbing. It has nothing to do with weakass games. Women don’t have to do all this shit expected out of men themselves. So don’t give me this crap. Its just more and more double standards coming out of your ass from your morbid sense of entitlement of being a woman. Grow the hell up

diamonddiego -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:54:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi quote: ORIGINAL: diamonddiego Sheer greed and an over inflated sense of enttitlement come to mind when you start talking with women who claim to be a Mistress. It is easy to associate the demand for money with the self-given title they have. Combine that with greed and a sense of entitlement and you finally have someone with no scruples or morals who most likely is having financial difficulties if they have to leach off of you or someone else. But when it comes to women in general, I have come to expect no less from them. Translated: I can't get laid so I am really pissed off at all women right now. Good luck with that[8\|] I would think given your age, predisposition and reputation in the Detroit community that this would apply more towards you than me. Since when is pointing out that a high volume of supposed female dominants in this lifestyle tend to be leaches with a hyper inflated sense of entitlement a sign that the person pointing it out is being pissed off or inadequete in bed? But somehow I am not surprised that your first instinct was to attack a males sexuality. Typical angry lesbian knee jerk reaction when you insult a male. Now, I would be more apt to believe that given your age, the status (or lack therof) of your broken dentures and the fact that you have a double set of knees hanging down off your chest and held in place with cargo straps, that it would be you who would have a hard time getting laid. After all, I still remember that night at Wicked in Detroit and that particular incident is still talked and laughed about.

laurell3 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:55:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella quote: As I was expressing above, I never meant that there is a connection between the two. Sheesh, I can't believe how much out of context this has been taken. The whole point is the concept of equality, and in this case, the terms of money. In one area (a totally different area with no connection to dating) equal pay is demanded. Then another area (a totally different area with no connection to the workforce) it's okay to give one gender a privilege. If this does not make sense, there is seriously something wrong Okay, I really hate this line of thought. You know why? Let's say you and I work in the same field, some generalized office work type thing, and we both have to present a professional image as well as maintain our love life. We also get paid the same. Tell me this: How much do you spend per year on makeup that is of good enough quality to last 8 hours? How much do you spend on underwear? Bras? Tampons? How often do you have to replace the razor you use on your face? More often than I have to replace the razor I use on the entire lower half of my body? How long does a pair of socks last for you? Longer than my pantyhose? How much does it cost you to get an attractive, professional haircut? If you start to go grey will it affect your professional image? Do you clip your nails when they get long? Or do you clip, file, and polish them, touching up every other day when the polish chips? Do you have specific outfits, or just pants and shirts that go well together? You can get by with one pair of work shoes, right? How much did your handbag cost? It's unfair that men are expected to pay for dates? Maybe it's also unfair that women are expected to pay for the rest of this shit in order to get dates. C'est la vie. But you did Elisabella here and whether you recognize it or not, wanting to be special, isn't wanting to be equal. We cannot have it both ways. I wear pants to work. I wear my hair up. I don't wear lipstick. I do not emphasize being female in any way. You know why? I have learned wanting attention for being female means not being equal in a professional setting. I want them to hear me, not think of fucking me. I want them to know I am a worthy adversary, not want stare at my legs. We cannot have it both ways.

Elisabella -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 10:05:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 But you did Elisabella here and whether you recognize it or not, wanting to be special, isn't wanting to be equal. We cannot have it both ways. We can be special, and equal...just not special and identical. quote: I wear pants to work. I wear my hair up. I don't wear lipstick. I do not emphasize being female in any way. You know why? I have learned wanting attention for being female means not being equal in a professional setting. I want them to hear me, not think of fucking me. I want them to know I am a worthy adversary, not want stare at my legs. We cannot have it both ways. To me, this view reflects the idea that women can only be seen as equally talented as men if they blend in with men. That "professional" equals androgynous...but it doesn't even get to androgyny. You don't wear lipstick...how many men think twice about growing a beard because they might stand out for being "too masculine" at work? 100 years ago, men wore pants, women wore skirts. Period. Now...pants are neutral, "androgynous" and for everyone, while skirts are "too feminine" and drawing attention to being female? Pants aren't drawing attention to being male, then? Or is male just the "default" standard for professionalism? IMO it's possible to be both feminine and professional, to identify with your gender without oversexualizing it. And in my ideal world, if I wore a skirt or pants it would just be me, without a distinction between "feminine" and "professional" - I wouldn't have to try to blend in as "one of the guys" or try to downplay my gender to be taken seriously.

naughtynick81 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 10:12:00 PM)
Elisabella I didn't bother answering to you before because I simply thought your post held very little intelligence. I will be brief as it will most definitely be futile. Do you honestly think men don't spend money to make their appearances look good also? Does a man get away with looking bad for women? Hmm very easy to refute

Elisabella -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 10:14:22 PM)
quote: YOU are a raven sexist bigot. Dear Lockit, I'm not sure if these allegations are true but if they are I am going to report you for breaking TOS - this site expressly forbids beastiality and I am sure there are much more appropriate sites that will help you spread your wings. Sincerely, A concerned citizen.

Elisabella -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 10:24:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: naughtynick81 Elisabella I didn't bother answering to you before because I simply thought your post held very little intelligence. I will be brief as it will most definitely be futile. Do you honestly think men don't spend money to make their appearances look good also? Does a man get away with looking bad for women? Hmm very easy to refute I think that the average woman spends more on her appearance than the average man.

AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 10:33:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella quote: ORIGINAL: naughtynick81 Elisabella I didn't bother answering to you before because I simply thought your post held very little intelligence. I will be brief as it will most definitely be futile. Do you honestly think men don't spend money to make their appearances look good also? Does a man get away with looking bad for women? Hmm very easy to refute I think that the average woman spends more on her appearance than the average man. Another issue with Men and Women is that women think this is something they are supposed to do. It's Posturing. Like a Peacock. Only in the Homo Sapien field it is the Female that preens. So that you know I agree with you that the average woman spends more, In my home I spend twice as much on my hair and up to 3 times as offten on my hair than my partner does. The difference is I want to look good for me. The Make-up and other Posturing women do is usualy for people other than their partner because most partners don't care about those things once bonding has been concreted. The continued Preening is another sign in my opinion of what is wrong in our society, after a mating couple has been created the female often tends to continue to attempt to attract males, or in a strange twist of the animal kingdom Compete with other women. This is a completely different issue in my opinion but I can see how some women connect them, however what I hear from you is using your preening as a way to validate the fact that you think men should pay for you. QSM

Elisabella -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 11:12:50 PM)
quote: This is a completely different issue in my opinion but I can see how some women connect them, however what I hear from you is using your preening as a way to validate the fact that you think men should pay for you. I'm not saying men should pay for women, like, as a hard and fast rule, I'm just explaining why it works for me. People have different ideas of what a relationship should be like, I know people who won't be in a relationship with someone who won't give them oral sex, that doesn't mean oral sex should be part of any relationship, but at the same time you can't say that someone who does have that expectation should change their mind just because you don't want to do it.

naughtynick81 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 11:17:01 PM)
For "all the men's fault" for women's actions on here should fairly be equivilent to "all the women's fault" when they complain about men only wanting sex. Some women agree to this in the hopes of more opportunities, such as relationships or just constant sex. Some men agree to paying for scamming women in the hopes of sex or for a potential relationship. Why should it be all the man's or woman's fault in either? I seem to see very little replies in it being the woman's fault when it comes to "men only wanting sex" when this complaint comes to issue. It seems that a problem women have is mostly the man's fault while a problem men have is mostly the man's fault. Does it mean I should always remain alone just for raising this disparity?

Elisabella -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 11:20:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: naughtynick81 For "all the men's fault" for women's actions on here should fairly be equivilent to "all the women's fault" when they complain about men only wanting sex. I can't speak for anyone else but I know that whenever I see some woman posting and complaining about how guys are just looking for sex I usually look at their profile and there's usually something in their profile that would attract that type of response - cleavage shots, calling themselves a slut, etc and I have no hesitation pointing out to them hey genius the only common factor in the men you attract is you.

AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 11:27:58 PM)
well here is one where I might shock people. Men are lustful creatures. Not all of them but there are more that are then that are that are not. I personally enjoy sex and see it as an activity that should be enjoyed for no other reason than to just enjoy doing it. Men want sex, it is not all they way, it is not the top priority for all men but it's up there for most. That being said... I feel bad sometimes because there are so many men who are so sex positive that they present a world where what the woman wants isn't important as long as she is spreading her legs. I KNOW this exists, it isn't an all men kind of thing but I see it happen so offten Vanilla/BDSM/Alternative Lifestyle that I can admit that I am the exception to the general rule. I do wish to point out that putting pictures of your vagina up on your Profile will just about guarantee that the majority of people making a responce were influenced by your ease in putting up such a picture and the assumption right or wrong is that you are more open to expose those with other people than women who don't post such pictures. I know Men can often be Sex Positive and to a degree beligerent about it.... It is just the nature of things. QSM

Lockit -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 11:33:33 PM)
Hey Naughtynick... when you address a post to someone, don't mix it with what others have said. It seems I am getting credit for more than I have said. As for what you and I have said... I guess it will stay with... we will just disagree. I'm sure neither of us will be broken up about it. It sure isn't worth arguing about.

laurell3 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 11:35:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella quote: ORIGINAL: naughtynick81 For "all the men's fault" for women's actions on here should fairly be equivilent to "all the women's fault" when they complain about men only wanting sex. I can't speak for anyone else but I know that whenever I see some woman posting and complaining about how guys are just looking for sex I usually look at their profile and there's usually something in their profile that would attract that type of response - cleavage shots, calling themselves a slut, etc and I have no hesitation pointing out to them hey genius the only common factor in the men you attract is you. Yeah that USED to be a defense to rape too....back in the stone ages. Men want sex because they are men (no offense guys), women that don't recognize the importance of that in men and expect them to act like women are just living in fantasy land in my opinion. I can't imagine why the men on this site looking through profiles would want sex.........come on...consider what you just said.

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