RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (Full Version)

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Lockit -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 8:37:39 PM)

Don't dare speak for me lil darlin. Most men around here seem to want only sex, but the men I meet in person are respectful and fully enjoy my personality. In business or pleasure, I do not have the problems in person that I find around here.

You see, even when you think you have a point, you are in a box. You assumed I feel that all men want is sex. You assume that I carry on a war between men and women based on wounds, attitudes and wrong focus. In person and not on this site which most men do see as a sex site, I have little problems with men. Just one of my expressions will clear up any wayward male who thinks he might have a fast track to a lil pussy. If that doesn't do it and that is rare... I have no problem putting them in their place. But not all men think with a cock and consider me only a pussy. Men around here... different story.

Keep your opinions... I wouldn't wish to take them. I just think they suck and with that, I bet that's about all the sucking you're going to get.



LadyPact -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 8:41:42 PM)

AQSM, I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I didn't really know.  I tried to get you an accurate answer by asking the other half.  He doesn't know either.  LMAO.

We actually met through a community organization.  (Not a BDSM community type thing.)  It was very much the habit of everyone to go out together and everyone picked up their own tab.  We were usually the last to leave, sitting over our non coffee (he doesn't drink it either) until one of us had to go home.  If we actually did go out on a date, it would depend.  We'd take turns and we'd do small gestures for each other.  (The man doesn't cook, but when courting, he made Me the best candlelit dinner at home.  I was actually impressed considering how little and I do mean little he cooked for himself when he was single.  If we're technical, he paid for that one.  <wink>)  Of course, now we're talking about relationship, rather than just first meet.

And, to be fair, you have to realize that I'm very specific about money.  We still have separate checking accounts and have always split bills.  I pay less on bills than he does, but I'm the entertainment expense person.  I do the saving for the trips, kink events, and so on.  I'm just the one of us who is better at it.  My father was (is) anal retentive about money and some of that rubbed off on Me growing up.  (Ask MP, it's not always a plus.)

One last thing you have to consider about why I intend to pay.  If it's a first meet at lunch or something, there are two of us and only one person that we're meeting. Now, it wouldn't really be fair of Me to expect the other person to pick up the tab, would it?  [:D]

Before I forget, I'd like to thank you for the compliment here, as well as the other thread.  I appreciated that.



LadyCimarron -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 8:41:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

You seem to be refusing to see my logic based on the premise of some women only wanting equality when it suits them. Such as only wanting equality in this or that area (that has no connection to other areas) while thinking they have a right for privilege in other areas.

But how dare a man mention that?



YES how dare a man mention this because it has nothing to do with equality. NO ONE is putting a gun to a man's head making him buy a woman shit or give her shit. Men do it for their dicks. You are hoping a woman will wet your noodle and you think the best way to do that is to spend money. If it works for you then spend the money and shut the fuck up about equality. IT IS EQUAL. Its equal because you spend your money if, when and how, you WANT TO. She also spends hers if, when and how she wants to.  There is no law regulating this and there is no one on the planet who makes you do it. If you do it then its equal because just like the woman you have an equal CHOICE. So don't try to turn this shit on women.

I will let you in a on secret that will really piss you off.  WOMEN DO PAY FOR DATES. We do it all the time. Just not for CERTAIN men. If you happen to meet her criteria she will not only go dutch she will pay for your meal and hers. (and incidentally fuck the shit out you when you get her home.) The reason it doesn't happen to you is because, frankly, your game ain't tight enough to bring like that. Work on yourself and what you have to offer a woman.

Ask yourself, why is it that there are men ON THIS SITE who have women fucking and sucking them daily and they don't spend a dime on her? Men ON THIS SITE have women who admittedly whore themselves out to bring money home to big daddy. I don't hear those men on hear bitching about women. Just you guys. WHY?

Its because you have a weak ass game. The reason women don't pay or go dutch with you is because all they see in you is the money. If you work on yourself and show women the right qualities then you can meet somebody other than the gold diggers you are on here bitching about. Because frankly every woman I know will pay for the date with a man that has what she wants. If you have NEVER met these kinds of women then you obviously don't have shit she wants except money. So go work on yourself. Until then, keep your wallet handy. You will need it.



Elisabella -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 8:42:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Yes, you do indeed have the right to your opinions. As do we.

You also have the right to sleep alone!! [;)]


Hahaha exactly.

If a man expected me to split the bill for dates when we were going out, I wouldn't say he's not a gentleman, or say it's his job as a man to pay for the dates, or anything else.

I'd just say one thing to him - "I hope you find the woman of your dreams, but I'm not her."

And I don't have to be his dream girl any more than he has to be my dream guy. Dating isn't a rigid procedure with the same rules for everyone to follow.

To be honest, a guy is lucky when he gets to pay for my dinner. When I split the bill it translates to "I'm not into you and I don't want there to be any mixed signals" so really, if I'm ready to let him pay and he brings up some feminist equality bs, I'll be more than happy to split the bill...learning on a first date that a guy I was attracted to holds such a different view for the cost of a meal is a bargain IMO.



Elisabella -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 8:44:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

LadyHibiscus

Women like you don't give us the right to have our opinions because you threat us with rejection.

Such as..

quote:

You also have the right to sleep alone!!


It seems that you believe women can act whatever unfair way they want and if men complain about it, they deserve to be alone.

Time to stop being a bigot



Nah, I know a lot of women who do really unattractive things in relationships and they get broken up with too. Saying "If you do this I will lose interest in you" is a statement of fact, not a threat.



Elisabella -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 8:57:58 PM)

quote:

As I was expressing above, I never meant that there is a connection between the two. Sheesh, I can't believe how much out of context this has been taken. The whole point is the concept of equality, and in this case, the terms of money. In one area (a totally different area with no connection to dating) equal pay is demanded. Then another area (a totally different area with no connection to the workforce) it's okay to give one gender a privilege.

If this does not make sense, there is seriously something wrong


Okay, I really hate this line of thought.

You know why? Let's say you and I work in the same field, some generalized office work type thing, and we both have to present a professional image as well as maintain our love life. We also get paid the same.

Tell me this:

How much do you spend per year on makeup that is of good enough quality to last 8 hours?

How much do you spend on underwear? Bras? Tampons?

How often do you have to replace the razor you use on your face? More often than I have to replace the razor I use on the entire lower half of my body?

How long does a pair of socks last for you? Longer than my pantyhose?

How much does it cost you to get an attractive, professional haircut? If you start to go grey will it affect your professional image?

Do you clip your nails when they get long? Or do you clip, file, and polish them, touching up every other day when the polish chips?

Do you have specific outfits, or just pants and shirts that go well together? You can get by with one pair of work shoes, right? How much did your handbag cost?

It's unfair that men are expected to pay for dates? Maybe it's also unfair that women are expected to pay for the rest of this shit in order to get dates.

C'est la vie.



domiguy -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:01:26 PM)

Maybe if they had a little more confidence or natural beauty they wouldn't have to go through "your"routine.

I have dated some gals that looked tremendous just pulling back their hair a sporting a ball cap.

(imho) YMMV JMTC YCKTCYC



laurell3 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:05:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan



Women know they get the financial easy street when it comes to dating. I woul dlike anyone to show me how financially women don't? Cause that guy who does demand that everything be EQUAL, how much of a shot does he actually have in a relationship when it is considered No big deal and something that a Gentleman is SUPPOSED to do.


QSM[/font]


Well, I will because I NEVER do this. If I don't have the money to pay half, it ain't happening. I don't care how long we have been dating, fucking, living together, I will pay my way or do without. I don't consider it something ANYONE should or has to do and I don't care if we aren't even on the same equal financial standing. I pay my way. I expect nothing financial due to gender. I'm sure I'm probably not alone.



Elisabella -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:06:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Maybe if they had a little more confidence or natural beauty they wouldn't have to go through "your"routine.

I have dated some gals that looked tremendous just pulling back their hair a sporting a ball cap.

(imho) YMMV JMTC YCKTCYC


While I'm sure there are some well paying fields that have minimal dress code standards, the point I was trying to make is that women have to put in unequal investment to get equal pay in most professional fields.



AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:12:52 PM)

quote:

Tell me this:

How much do you spend per year on makeup that is of good enough quality to last 8 hours?

How much do you spend on underwear? Bras? Tampons?

How often do you have to replace the razor you use on your face? More often than I have to replace the razor I use on the entire lower half of my body?

How long does a pair of socks last for you? Longer than my pantyhose?

How much does it cost you to get an attractive, professional haircut? If you start to go grey will it affect your professional image?

Do you clip your nails when they get long? Or do you clip, file, and polish them, touching up every other day when the polish chips?

Do you have specific outfits, or just pants and shirts that go well together? You can get by with one pair of work shoes, right? How much did your handbag cost?

It's unfair that men are expected to pay for dates? Maybe it's also unfair that women are expected to pay for the rest of this shit in order to get dates.

C'est la vie.



I see since you spend so much money trying to fool men into thinking you look some way that you really don't we should pay for your food.

Now I understand.

I take back everything I said about equality.

You do realize you just set women back about 75 years?

Guess what, I don't care about that shit. my wife can get up and get ready to go and be out the house in 20 minutes. That is sexy. She doesn't wear make-up, no Stocking, no Professional nail jobs.

If your profession is one that you would lose your job if you did not maintain this outlook how does your professional choice influence our dating life?

If you have to go through all that just to get dates maybe you might want to start picking up a couple checks cause that must be one scary ass mug to beat into submission if you HAVE to do all that just to get a date.

Or maybe just be nice and be yourself and do things you like doing and maybe take a guy out and pay for his meals. Maybe bring him chocolates, maybe bring him flowers..... Or save you money cause guys rarely judge women on these standards, just expect to pay and be APPRECIATIVE when you don't have to, rather than calling him a loser cause he doesn't wanna spring for your share of the Red Lobster bill.

QSM




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:17:57 PM)

QSM, you can hide behind your smiley face, but you are the same old guy.

You have NO IDEA of the world a professional woman lives in, or what the real issue of this thread is, that men who are cheapskates about small things are cheapskates about big things.

I have never EXPECTED anyone to pay my way, and have paid for my date's way many many times. It is not about the MONEY it is about the intent. Look back at LadyPact's post about meeting folks---THAT is what it's about.



AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:19:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3


quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan



Women know they get the financial easy street when it comes to dating. I woul dlike anyone to show me how financially women don't? Cause that guy who does demand that everything be EQUAL, how much of a shot does he actually have in a relationship when it is considered No big deal and something that a Gentleman is SUPPOSED to do.


QSM


Well, I will because I NEVER do this. If I don't have the money to pay half, it ain't happening. I don't care how long we have been dating, fucking, living together, I will pay my way or do without. I don't consider it something ANYONE should or has to do and I don't care if we aren't even on the same equal financial standing. I pay my way. I expect nothing financial due to gender. I'm sure I'm probably not alone.



Again the EXCEPTION that proves the rule.

In my dating history, in the dating history of all the men who belong to my mens gruop less than 5% of the women we dated even carried wnough to cover their own meal while out on a date.

One of these men tells a great story of going out on a third date with a woman (On the second date she suggested they do it again the following week... In my world this was her asking him) when the check came he asked the Waitress to split the bill. Hiw Date was Terrofied... She explained that she only has $20.00 on her and nothing in her bank account. The $20.00 was for a Cab if he got Handsy.

She Ordered a Surf and Turf Platter the total of which after her coctails was 47.50. All the men in the group could relate to this story.

There are more women who AREN'T LIKE YOU, then there are LIKE YOU.

Do you HONESTLY think that most women see things like you do? Or do you think that most women assume they are being paid for and go out on that assumption?

QSM



laurell3 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:21:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Maybe if they had a little more confidence or natural beauty they wouldn't have to go through "your"routine.

I have dated some gals that looked tremendous just pulling back their hair a sporting a ball cap.

(imho) YMMV JMTC YCKTCYC


While I'm sure there are some well paying fields that have minimal dress code standards, the point I was trying to make is that women have to put in unequal investment to get equal pay in most professional fields.



While that may be true to an extent, it doesn't follow that some poor dude that didn't in fact create the work force should pay for you because you're bitter. There's no logic in your connection at all. I'm going to tell you, I do not get my nails done, I do not dye my hair, I do not spend the amount of money you do apparently, because I want to be able to afford to live in other ways, that includes paying my way on dates. I get plenty of them without all those things, believe me.



laurell3 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:23:29 PM)

One thing I have NEVER EVER professed to be in my entire life is to be "like most women." I am however certain I am not alone and it is common amongst my friends irl. It probably is NOT common on a bdsm board especially in the femdom section [;)]



LadyCimarron -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/17/2010 9:24:46 PM) 

 
 If you have to go through all that just to get dates maybe you might want to start picking up a couple checks cause that must be one scary ass mug to beat into submission if you HAVE to do all that just to get a date.  
  
 QSM 
  
  
 
 
  
 Like I said before, the reason you guys are complaining about women is because you need to work on YOU. If you come here and talk to women on this site in the way you have; it leaves little doubt the one at home is being talked to much the same way. Why don't you go to your significant other and ask her why she didn't pay for any of your dates when you were taking her out.  She may give you a better answer than what you got here. Your real problem is that you think women are the problem. When the problem is really you.  
				  
	          		
	        

	        
 
	          

			  	  		
	        

		  

				
	  

	
	  
			
  













  
 
    
	

	  
 
	    
		 

		    

			  
				  domiguy ->  RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First?  (6/17/2010 9:25:41 PM)
			  
			

	        

			  

		          
				   
quote:

ORIGINAL:  AQuietSimpleMan 
  
  
 Again the EXCEPTION that proves the rule.  
  
 In my dating history, in the dating history of all the men who belong to my mens gruop less than 5% of the women we dated even carried wnough to cover their own meal while out on a date.  
  
 One of these men tells a great story of going out on a third date with a woman (On the second date she suggested they do it again the following week... In my world this was her asking him) when the check came he asked the Waitress to split the bill. Hiw Date was Terrofied... She explained that she only has $20.00 on her and nothing in her bank account. The $20.00 was for a Cab if he got Handsy.  
  
 She Ordered a Surf and Turf Platter the total of which after her coctails was 47.50. All the men in the group could relate to this story.  
  
 There are more women who AREN'T LIKE YOU, then there are LIKE YOU.  
  
 Do you HONESTLY think that most women see things like you do? Or do you think that most women assume they are being paid for and go out on that assumption?  
  
 QSM[/font] 
 
 
  
 Did anyone in your group ever consider dating a women that was your equal? Or are you all unemployed or under employed nitwits? 
  
 What about dating a gal that actually has a career?  Ever cross your mind? 
				  
	          		
	        

	        
 
	          

			  	  		
	        

		  

				
	  

	
	  
			
  













  
 
    
	

	  
 
	    
		 

		    

			  
				  AQuietSimpleMan ->  RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First?  (6/17/2010 9:26:43 PM)
			  
			

	        

			  

		          
				    
 
quote:

ORIGINAL:  LadyHibiscus 
  
 QSM, you can hide behind your smiley face, but you are the same old guy. 
  
 You have NO IDEA of the world a professional woman lives in, or what the real issue of this thread is, that men who are cheapskates about small things are cheapskates about big things.   
  
 I have never EXPECTED anyone to pay my way, and have paid for my date's way many many times.  It is not about the MONEY it is about the intent.  Look back at LadyPact's post about meeting folks---THAT is what it's about. 
 
 
  
 And you have decided who I am by my distaste for women who assume men should pay. And for calling it Sexist to the highest degree.  
  
 I am sure you have paid for things but if you take the HISTORY of your life and adress how often that has happened and how many times you have gone out and when the check came knew you were going to be paid for. Well the real story emerges.  
  
 Being a Cheapskate would be me taking you to McDonalds and fussing over your Supersizing your meal, or Splitting the check and calculating your protion of the Tip.  
  
 In the end, I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about a societal expectation that is contrary to the idea of equality.  
  
 Truth be told the majority of women out there, at very least in America and Europe assume that on a date the man will pay, and if he doesn't then he somehow isn't being a gentleman I still don't understand that one.  
  
 So far it is Women who have kept coming back to the idea that Money and Sex and Sexuality are all connected. I am only trying to discuss the expectations of Men by Women who are taken out on a date.  
  
 QSM 
				  
	          		
	        

	        
 
	          

			  	  		
	        

		  

				
	  

	
	  
			
  













  
 
    
	

	  
 
	    
		 

		    

			  
				  AQuietSimpleMan ->  RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First?  (6/17/2010 9:31:39 PM)
			  
			

	        

			  

		          
				    
 
quote:

ORIGINAL:  LadyCimarron 
 Like I said before, the reason you guys are complaining about women is because you need to work on YOU. If you come here and talk to women on this site in the way you have; it leaves little doubt the one at home is being talked to much the same way. Why don't you go to your significant other and ask her why she didn't pay for any of your dates when you were taking her out.  She may give you a better answer than what you got here. Your real problem is that you think women are the problem. When the problem is really you.  
 
 
  
 Yeah she said, Cause men are supposed to pay for dates.  
  
 When asked where she got that from.  
  
 "I don't know it's just the way it is. It't the way I was taught things should be" 
  
 Oh we have had this discussion MANY times.  
  
 And My son will be raised pretty much the same way. To not take on the responsibility of a relationship unless he can afford to do so. 
  
 I know this makes me sound like a Hypocrit, but in addition to teaching him this I will also teach him how not to be taken advantage of and how to present things in a fair way so that expectations should not be had by either side.  
  
 Like I said I perfer to pay and I will try to instill that in my child, but I do want him to know it should never be expected of him.  
  
 QSM 
				  
	          		
	        

	        
 
	          

			  	  		
	        

		  

				
	  

	
	  
			
  













  
 
    
	

	  
 
	    
		 

		    

			  
				  LadyCimarron ->  RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First?  (6/17/2010 9:33:05 PM)
			  
			

	        

			  

		          
				   
quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan 
  
  
  
 In the end, I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about a societal expectation that is contrary to the idea of equality.  
  
 So far it is Women who have kept coming back to the idea that Money and Sex and Sexuality are all connected. I am only trying to discuss the expectations of Men by Women who are taken out on a date.  
  
 QSM 
 
  
  
 YOU were talking about DATING. Dating and sexuality are very much related. and like I said earlier, its equal because you have a choice of who and what to spend your money on just like she does. There is no law forcing either of you to put out money. If men don't want to do it, the should not do it. case closed. But this issue has nothing to do with equality. YOU and she are equal because you can both spend your money however you choose. 
				  
	          		
	        

	        
 
	          

			  	  		
	        

		  

				
	  

	
	  
			
  













  
 
    
	

	  
 
	    
		 

		    

			  
				  AQuietSimpleMan ->  RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First?  (6/17/2010 9:36:03 PM)
			  
			

	        

			  

		          
				    
 
quote:

ORIGINAL:  domiguy 
  
 
quote:

ORIGINAL:  AQuietSimpleMan 
  
  
 Again the EXCEPTION that proves the rule.  
  
 In my dating history, in the dating history of all the men who belong to my mens gruop less than 5% of the women we dated even carried wnough to cover their own meal while out on a date.  
  
 One of these men tells a great story of going out on a third date with a woman (On the second date she suggested they do it again the following week... In my world this was her asking him) when the check came he asked the Waitress to split the bill. Hiw Date was Terrofied... She explained that she only has $20.00 on her and nothing in her bank account. The $20.00 was for a Cab if he got Handsy.  
  
 She Ordered a Surf and Turf Platter the total of which after her coctails was 47.50. All the men in the group could relate to this story.  
  
 There are more women who AREN'T LIKE YOU, then there are LIKE YOU.  
  
 Do you HONESTLY think that most women see things like you do? Or do you think that most women assume they are being paid for and go out on that assumption?  
  
 QSM 
 
 
  
 Did anyone in your group ever consider dating a women that was your equal? Or are you all unemployed or under employed nitwits? 
  
 What about dating a gal that actually has a career?  Ever cross your mind? 
 
 
  
 Some are some aren't, we don't have requirements on employment so who knows.  
  
 What is funny is that the worst offenders I have ever met in my personal experience are the ones with the career. Those that made more than I did or were in a higher managerial level than I, in two seperate occasions with two different women when the check came they looked at the waitress and then pointed at me.  
  
 I Laughed at first but then it occured to me that it was simply expected that I would be paying the bill.  
  
 It isn't about Money Domi, it's about a social stigma that says Men are the ones who are SUPPOSED to pay.  
  
 QSM 
				  
	          		
	        

	        
 
	          

			  	  		
	        

		  

				
	  

	
	  
			
  












  
 
    
	

	  
 
	      
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