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RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 1:04:51 PM

ElizabethAnne

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Holly,

My FC's son who is getting ready for basics started living with us three years ago.   He was 15. I had raised a daughter, I had no idea how different in every way boys and girls could be, my daughter? Straight A's, Valdectorian, a starter in varsity basketball, varsity softball, ran cross country, she was ALWAYS busy.   A teacher asked me once if she was as perfect at home as she was at school.   From the time she was little she knew there were consequences.   She and a girl when they were seven decided they would use the school phone and dial 911 to "see what would happen"; well they dialed it not once but about four times.   She told me about it when she got home - she knew she was in trouble.   I told her she had two choices - either we go see the school principal and she tell him person, OR she could call him on the phone. I will always remember how big her eyes got ..as they filled with tears. ~chuckles~ She called him, her little voice quivering, and SHE told him. That was the ONLY time she ever got in trouble at school.

My FC's son, well, that was different, not that he was in trouble exactly he just didn't want to do anything. As in NOTHING. And then he brought home a D. D's are unacceptable, so he was grounded, no tv, video games, computer or phone. All he was allowed to watch was CNN. heh....We figured that was informative. No he didn't have a tv in his room. What it forced him to do was get off his ass, make friends, (he moved here from two hours away and didn't know anyone), and get better grades.   I'm so proud of him, he graduated last month with a 3.25 GPA, and will leave for basic training in October.

Point is Holly, we cannot be with our children 24/7 as they get older, we must instill in them the ability to make the right choices, and give them the tools so they can.   I think Abby's parents are to be commended for giving her the right tools to try to follow her dreams, and for not being selfish to try to hold her back but let her soar..err...sail in this case.

Elizabeth

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Post #: 121

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 1:20:32 PM

VirginPotty

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I'm all for helping your child live their dream but at what point should common sense kick in? I have no issues w/her age or her mission. I only have one issue w/this story.........well, make that two.

1). The parents let her go alone. What happened to the "Buddy System"? If she had been knocked unconscious what then?

2) What about her schooling? I'm assuming she was still in school.

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RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 1:56:22 PM

barelynangel

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VP, it was a "solo" run. So having a buddy would have defeated the purpose of this particular adventure. As for schooling, there are plenty of kids who do an alternative type schooling (i.e, working kids, actors etc) and while i can see it being wondered about, i cannot believe that it wasn't addressed prior to her leaving. It sounds like she may have been doing it remotely.

I found this interesting site that gets her POV on some questions people had. http://www.abbysunderland.com/ask-abby.php

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Post #: 123

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 2:18:38 PM

angelikaJ

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VP,

I am pretty certain she was homeschooled and I know in her brother Zac's case when he did his solo circumnavigation, he brought his books and materials with him.

edit: punctuation

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 6/14/2010 2:19:21 PM >

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Post #: 124

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 2:25:25 PM

happylittlepet

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Fast reply

Interesting perspective:

http://www.sailinganarchy.com/index_page1.php

Scroll past the picture at the top.

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Post #: 125

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 2:49:01 PM

angelikaJ

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Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

Fast reply

Interesting perspective:

http://www.sailinganarchy.com/index_page1.php

Scroll past the picture at the top.

It was a good balanced piece.
The balance came from the bit by Evans Starzinger:
"The daughter was The Captain. The buck always stops with the captain. She stopped simply being the daughter when she went to sea, and that in of itself was potentially one of the greatest things she could have gotten from this venture.

One of the great and very valuable lessons one can learn from going to sea is personal responsibility and accountability. The mature captain take responsibility for everything that goes wrong and should credit the team for everything that goes right. That's the correct and ideal attitude. We don't all get that right all the time. I have been known to occasionally whine and try to pass the buck, and I have had a few more years and miles to mature than Abby has. But deep down every captain needs to know and truly believe that the buck stops with her/him. Even if someone else screws up on their task, its always ultimately the Captain's responsibility.

She tried hard. She made it quite far and around two great capes. She has made mistakes, just as we all do. Mistakes and failures are often more valuable learning and growing experiences than successes. She now has a decent story to tell. I just hope she has or is learning the right lessons - starting with accountability, responsibility and graciousness. If a 16 year old can have learned or developed those, then this whole venture will have been extremely valuable, if not it's just a low class media circus."

This kind of sailing is much less about person vs the sea and person vs the elements.
It is more about 'man' vs themselves.

2 capes and more than 13,300 miles.
As with any adventure it is going to take time to process it all but I hope the lessons go beyond just that.

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Post #: 126

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 5:36:56 PM

Silentrunner26

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I wonder what would have happened if pirates got her instead of a fishing boat ? Now that she is coming home will anyone file charges on her parents fot stupidity or child endangerment ?

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Post #: 127

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 5:46:00 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Silentrunner26

I wonder what would have happened if pirates got her instead of a fishing boat ? Now that she is coming home will anyone file charges on her parents fot stupidity or child endangerment ?

Last year her brother's westerly, warmer water route put him on a path where he might have encountered pirates. Abby's route was entirely different, carefully designed to minimise that danger.

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Post #: 128

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 7:32:35 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Silentrunner26

I wonder what would have happened if pirates got her instead of a fishing boat ? Now that she is coming home will anyone file charges on her parents fot stupidity or child endangerment ?

No they are not. They didn't endanger their child. They gave her everything they could to insure her success.

More than the majority of these cunts will ever hope to do....Bitching about the possible ramifications of her undertaking such an adventure.

Too bad you are so slow.

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Post #: 129

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 7:38:48 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Adults with lots of experience fuck up sailing trips all the time. Would I have bankrolled my kid to do this kind of adventure? Hell no! But she obviously had the chops to do a damn good job with a tough sail.

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Post #: 130

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 8:03:17 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
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From: Northern New Jersey
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FR

Dad inks deal for Reality show

So dad has no intention of making money off his kid...really?

All the children were home schooled. (since someone asked earlier).

julia,

your snippy "happy?" remark while you back peddal on your comment doesn't really matter. Yes, people should also have a healthy respect for the forest. Again, the "buddy system" comes into play. Does that mean you were stupid to go hiking in there by yourself? Probably, but assuming you did so as an adult, you made the decision for yourself.

You readily admit that you wouldn't let your child sail around the world alone. I doubt you would encourage your child to go hiking in the forest alone either, regardless of how well you taught them to respect their environment. Same goes for the sea.

As the "hippie" it would seem logical that you also advocate a respect for nature's forces, not just nature's resources and beauty.

How lucky for you that you live in an area where public transportation is readily available. I don't know exactly where Holly lives, but based on her comments about her area in the past, public transportation is probably not so accessible. In my area, you would need to walk about 5 miles to catch a bus or train, and they don't run all that regularly either. Not only that, with the snow that comes to my area, a four wheel drive vehicle provides safety taking your kid to the dentist in the winter.

So, please, continue to have your hippie-dippie attitude about saving the planet. But don't preach to people who not only don't share your views, but don't have the same options for getting around as you do that you apparently know nothing about.

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Post #: 131

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 8:05:25 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Thanks for the transportation comments, Lafayette Lady----there is no public transporation around me, and the climate means that walking is essentially a no-go six months out of the year. I recycle, though, and drive like I learned how in the fuel-embargo 70's!

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Post #: 132

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 8:23:22 PM

angelikaJ

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Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

FR

Dad inks deal for Reality show

So dad has no intention of making money off his kid...really?

re: Reality show

Family cuts ties with reality show producer

"...Laurence Sunderland told reporters outside the family's Thousand Oaks home that he had been approached about a reality TV show months ago with Magnetic Entertainment, a Los Angeles-based production company.

However, he said he cut ties with Magnetic a few weeks after Abby set off on her solo voyage due to a falling-out with producers. ..."

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Post #: 133

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 9:07:22 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

How lucky for you that you live in an area where public transportation is readily available. I don't know exactly where Holly lives, but based on her comments about her area in the past, public transportation is probably not so accessible. In my area, you would need to walk about 5 miles to catch a bus or train, and they don't run all that regularly either. Not only that, with the snow that comes to my area, a four wheel drive vehicle provides safety taking your kid to the dentist in the winter.

So, please, continue to have your hippie-dippie attitude about saving the planet. But don't preach to people who not only don't share your views, but don't have the same options for getting around as you do that you apparently know nothing about.

Fuck off. Anyone that drives a hummer is a douchebag.

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Post #: 134

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 9:52:01 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

julia,

your snippy "happy?" remark while you back peddal on your comment doesn't really matter. Yes, people should also have a healthy respect for the forest. Again, the "buddy system" comes into play. Does that mean you were stupid to go hiking in there by yourself? Probably, but assuming you did so as an adult, you made the decision for yourself.

Actually I went off by myself as a child, behind my parent's back a few times, and got grounded for it ( I grew up bordering the Sierra National Forest)

I also went as a teen by myself, and didn't discuss it with my mother, my father had passed, so he wasn't around to tell me what to do... although he was the one that taught me about wilderness in the first place...

quote:

You readily admit that you wouldn't let your child sail around the world alone. I doubt you would encourage your child to go hiking in the forest alone either, regardless of how well you taught them to respect their environment. Same goes for the sea.

Apples and oranges, you do not need to have a boat to hike in the forest. If had chosen to do this as a teen I would probably not have known it just like my mother didn't know it....

quote:

As the "hippie" it would seem logical that you also advocate a respect for nature's forces, not just nature's resources and beauty.

Have I said anything to the contrary?

quote:

How lucky for you that you live in an area where public transportation is readily available.

Yeah, it is called "lifestyle choices". I made mine.... she makes hers.

quote:

I don't know exactly where Holly lives, but based on her comments about her area in the past, public transportation is probably not so accessible. In my area, you would need to walk about 5 miles to catch a bus or train, and they don't run all that regularly either. Not only that, with the snow that comes to my area, a four wheel drive vehicle provides safety taking your kid to the dentist in the winter.

So, please, continue to have your hippie-dippie attitude about saving the planet. But don't preach to people who not only don't share your views, but don't have the same options for getting around as you do that you apparently know nothing about.

Oh Puhleeaaaaseeeee.... I just said I grew up next to Yosemite in a town the size of a fucking village, and you are going to lecture me about this? Wow, you are not very bright not to understand they had no fucking trains or buses at all where I grew up....Give me a break, lady.

If you are going to post in defense of driving a Hummer as though there is no other alternatives that would be fuel saving than a gas guzzling piece of shit car like that, well you really lack any sort of cred whatsoever in my book.

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Post #: 135

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/14/2010 10:05:47 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
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From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

So, please, continue to have your hippie-dippie attitude about saving the planet. But don't preach to people who not only don't share your views, but don't have the same options for getting around as you do that you apparently know nothing about.

Oh Puhleeaaaaseeeee.... I just said I grew up next to Yosemite in a town the size of a fucking village, and you are going to lecture me about this? Wow, you are not very bright not to understand they had no fucking trains or buses at all where I grew up....Give me a break, lady.

If you are going to post in defense of driving a Hummer as though there is no other alternatives that would be fuel saving than a gas guzzling piece of shit car like that, well you really lack any sort of cred whatsoever in my book.

Well, I have never had any "cred" in your book, so that doesn't really matter. I was talking about your transportation options NOW, so let's not get into anyone's intelligence. I wasn't talking about where you grew up. Deal with it.

I'm not "defending" anyone driving a Hummer, or an electric car. What I AM saying is that you have a great deal of balls to think that you should have the right to dictate to anyone what they should or shouldn't drive. So while around here, you can present yourself as the know it all about all things, sorry you don't like being contradicted.

People are going to drive what THEY think is best for their personal needs. Whether that be the status symbol of a Caddy or the monstrosity of a MAC truck, it is THEIR decision, NOT yours.

But feel free to continue to believe that your spouting off about what a piece of shit it is will serve to change people's minds. Those of us who are BRIGHT and have REAL credibility in the REAL world, where it counts, will just continue to ignore you.

< Message edited by LafayetteLady -- 6/14/2010 10:06:34 PM >

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Post #: 136

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/15/2010 4:14:40 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

How lucky for you that you live in an area where public transportation is readily available. I don't know exactly where Holly lives, but based on her comments about her area in the past, public transportation is probably not so accessible. In my area, you would need to walk about 5 miles to catch a bus or train, and they don't run all that regularly either. Not only that, with the snow that comes to my area, a four wheel drive vehicle provides safety taking your kid to the dentist in the winter.

So, please, continue to have your hippie-dippie attitude about saving the planet. But don't preach to people who not only don't share your views, but don't have the same options for getting around as you do that you apparently know nothing about.

Fuck off. Anyone that drives a hummer is a douchebag.

LOL...No Hummer. I drive a new Mercury Mariner. Paid cash for it.

You?

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RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/15/2010 5:02:44 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
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From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

How lucky for you that you live in an area where public transportation is readily available. I don't know exactly where Holly lives, but based on her comments about her area in the past, public transportation is probably not so accessible. In my area, you would need to walk about 5 miles to catch a bus or train, and they don't run all that regularly either. Not only that, with the snow that comes to my area, a four wheel drive vehicle provides safety taking your kid to the dentist in the winter.

So, please, continue to have your hippie-dippie attitude about saving the planet. But don't preach to people who not only don't share your views, but don't have the same options for getting around as you do that you apparently know nothing about.

Julia...LafayetteLady is right that i live in the boonies, about 15 miles from any type of public transportation. A 4wheel drive vehicle is needed here. We choose to live way out here and raise our family on a farm. I apologize for nothing.

I could drive a 4 wheel that is smaller and easier on gas. Well hell....suuure i could. But while you are sitting your oversized attitude on a bus or train, feeling smug that you had nothing to do with the BP oil spill (still chuckling over that one, btw)..i am loading my huge vehicle up with soccer balls, shin guards and water bottles. See...my kid does not play soccer yet, but i have been coaching for years. I coach because no one else would. There is no glory in coaching 5 yr olds. I coach the kids whose parents "don't have time" to do their part. I coach the kids whose parents like to sit in the stands and bitch out the coach because their 5 yr old is not the next Pele. I coach the kids of parents who make a habit of casting blame onto others who do not fit their "ideals". I coach kids whose parents remind me an awful lot of you.

The next time you find yourself at a kids sporting event please take a minute to look at the coach as they pack up that heavy equipment by themselves. Look at their vehicles. Big. Gas hogs. Yep. They cost a lot to purchase, run and maintain. The coaches pay that price to lug around the equipment for your kids to use. The coaches here are volunteers, btw.

Personally...i did not want the Mercury SUV i have. I wanted a Mustang. I got the SUV because soccer balls and goal nets do not fit into a standard trunk and spilled water bottles make a mess. And in case you are wondering...I supply the water bottles because some idiot parents "forget" to send the kid with their own, even though it is a 90 degree day.

So...go ahead and blame me for the condition of the environment

quote:

Actually, no, I just think "asshole" every time I see one of those cars.... it is the glorification of the rape of our planet...

But allow me to assure you that while you are bitching about me and my vehicle, i am laughing at you and your sanctimonious attitude. Myself and a few other "assholes" are doing our damnedest to teach your kids fair play, good sportsmanship and in some cases, manners.

And btw...we do have some awesome parents backing us. I did not want to give the impression that all the parents are the Juliaoceania's of this world.

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RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/15/2010 5:54:50 AM

RacerJim

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Her family can't pay the $300,000+ cost to rescue her. Before she tries again the world should tell her no one will rescue her.

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Post #: 139

RE: That 16 year old who went sailing... - 6/15/2010 6:11:47 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
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From: Virginville
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Oh give me a break, RacerJim. (Unless of course that was a joke then it's

)

On that subject I don't believe that "victims" who are rescued should pay the full rescue fee. That's what the rescuer's do....rescue people. For the "victims" who are given a warning about certain events (mountain climbing in inclement weather, sailing in inclement weather etc) but do so anyway, I do believe they should pay a hefty fine & if they continue to do so jail time seems appropriate or an ankle bracelet, community service etc.

< Message edited by VirginPotty -- 6/15/2010 6:14:16 AM >

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