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RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/13/2010 6:31:51 PM

BKSir

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From: Salt Lake City, UT
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Hell, one of My boys was exceptionally good looking, one of the smartest people that I've ever met, and I was darn near embarrassed by the differences in our education levels. I wouldn't exactly say I was intimidated, but I sure wondered why in the world he chose to serve Me when he literally could have been the boy of any Domme in Atlanta. Oh yeah. That meant he traveled to Me on top of everything else. One time, in the middle of the night in the pouring rain for the three hour trip because he was literally that type of devoted.

I wasn't intimidated, but I wondered why. In the end, it didn't really matter. If he hadn't wanted to be with Me, he wouldn't have.

You might want to think about that last sentence.

Yep, I covered that back in post 34. :) The whole thing of, sometimes, we should look back on our bygone days and learn to sometimes accept "Because." as a perfectly wonderful and acceptable answer.

_____________________________

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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 61

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/13/2010 7:00:04 PM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Agreed. This is why I was in awe of my Father and his Father both as men and as (at separate time frames) as Mages and Grand Masters of my Lodge together with my Father's business abilities and his absolute ruthlessness in getting things done which others said was impossible and yet was intimidated by him by that ruthlessness and logic. It can make a young person feel he will never be able to stand as an equal with such persons and feel the need to keep proving himself using such a person as a role model . .

Actually... that last part there. I'm wondering if that might not be able to be brought into this whole thought. An s as a role model to a d. For all logical purposes, shouldn't that be all but impossible? Isn't it kind of in the 'job description' that the d is the role model for the s? How would that work, would you think, for the d to look up to his/her s in that manner, as a role model while at the same time being an effective d? To play devil's advocate here, wouldn't that be considered somewhat of an oxymoron, perhaps even paradoxical?

My thought mate is to forget over analysing this and labelling everyone.

When I was a child at boarding school I discovered C.S. Forester's "Hornblower" Series. I related to the young Midshipman sea sick and away from home for the first time in a new and exciting world. I related to this in part because I was shy as Hornblower was, terribly shy. Now the boarding school I went to (Geelong Grammar) was based on England's Eton and so was oh so British to the core. I thrived there but I still used the Hornblower character as my role model because I had no other to which I could relate to in so many personal ways. Than my Father and Grand Father were also role models in the real world in which I grew up was besides the point. Later as I was growing into the Gorean Lifestyle (as different to the Gorean Role Play), one of the role models I used was indeed a kajira, a very well trained and excellent girl who just happened to be the first real live, breathing kajira I had met (in real life). My mentor with whom I was staying in the US knew this and deliberately assigned her, his First Girl, to act as my personal girl and to help me learn and understand. Keeping in mine she was an excelent slave trainer for him too this choice was both logical and brilliant. I was smart enough to know nthat no matter what rank (above or below you) others can and will teach you if you are willing and not to proud to learn. (Three Mast Sgts in Nam trained me in my practical war crafty and survival even though I was their commander).

Not sure about you my old China, but I see no issues nor anything wrong in having a sub/slave acting as a role model for a Dominant. They both just need to have their heads screwed on properly, all ship shape and Bristol fashion.

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to BKSir)

Post #: 62

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/13/2010 7:01:19 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Hell, one of My boys was exceptionally good looking, one of the smartest people that I've ever met, and I was darn near embarrassed by the differences in our education levels. I wouldn't exactly say I was intimidated, but I sure wondered why in the world he chose to serve Me when he literally could have been the boy of any Domme in Atlanta. Oh yeah. That meant he traveled to Me on top of everything else. One time, in the middle of the night in the pouring rain for the three hour trip because he was literally that type of devoted.

I wasn't intimidated, but I wondered why. In the end, it didn't really matter. If he hadn't wanted to be with Me, he wouldn't have.

You might want to think about that last sentence.

That I think lass, is the nuts and bolts (very male isn't it?), of the whole situation. If someone wants to be with you, they will be! No ifs or buts but rather like the saying about releasing something you love and if it returns it is yours. Best you can do is to accept this with aplomb and grace and perhaps a prey of thanks to what ever Gods you believe in.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 63

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/13/2010 7:21:15 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
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I've got to say that this has been a very very fun and thought provoking thread.

Going to have to come up with something else soon. I know I had a blast here, and hopefully y'all did too. So many opinions and ideas and thoughts, so many broad and narrow paths that it could have all gone down. You people, anteaters, bears and cats are the best. :)

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 64

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/13/2010 7:36:03 PM

MissSepphora1

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I would give my next lifetime away for someone who felt this way about me. but then... i dont believe in reincarnation.

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Post #: 65

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/13/2010 7:40:16 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

The whole thing of, sometimes, we should look back on our bygone days and learn to sometimes accept "Because." as a perfectly wonderful and acceptable answer.

There is a word in Yiddish that basically means 'just because', and it's considered a perfectly good explanation for any action. I've often felt the concept is missing among English speakers...

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 6/13/2010 7:41:11 PM >

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Post #: 66

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/13/2010 7:42:00 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
...If someone wants to be with you, they will be!

Well, there is that angle on it too. Honestly, pretty much from the moment Carol and I met we were like north and south poles of a magnet. There were about 2000 really good reasons for us not to get together and her friends were none too happy about the whole thing. None of that made any difference. We were pretty clearly meant to be together and also pretty clearly, nothing was going to stand in the way of that.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 67

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/13/2010 7:42:16 PM

LadyAngelika

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

The whole thing of, sometimes, we should look back on our bygone days and learn to sometimes accept "Because." as a perfectly wonderful and acceptable answer.

There is a word in Yiddish that basically means 'just because', and it's consindered a perfectly good explanation for any action. I've often felt the concept is missing among English speakers...

So are you going to tell us the word? I like using Yiddish expressions like Chutzpah !

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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Post #: 68

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/13/2010 11:53:38 PM

cassandria

Posts: 86
Joined: 6/6/2010
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someone I knew once told me...

"the kind of man I want.....would require me to be more than I am"

Food for thought.

~~

"It is, what it is" is what I would say to the OP. That, and what someone else responded with...that confidence is really, really sexy.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 69

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/14/2010 12:01:29 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

Balance is the key. I like me, I like me a lot actually...:).

Yay for this

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Post #: 70

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/14/2010 12:06:14 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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~FR~

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

In the end, don't we all want someone a little bit, "better" than we are?

I want someone 'better' than me, who will inspire me to be better...

*sigh*

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Post #: 71

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/14/2010 1:06:40 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

So are you going to tell us the word? I like using Yiddish expressions like Chutzpah !

The word is 'stam' (pronounced like it looks). although thinking about it I suspect it's actually Hebrew rather than Yiddish...

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Post #: 72

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/14/2010 4:04:54 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

So are you going to tell us the word? I like using Yiddish expressions like Chutzpah !

The word is 'stam' (pronounced like it looks). although thinking about it I suspect it's actually Hebrew rather than Yiddish...

Thanks :-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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Post #: 73

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/14/2010 4:07:05 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cassandria

someone I knew once told me...

"the kind of man I want.....would require me to be more than I am"

Food for thought.

Scary thought if you ask me.

I'm glad that I've found myself attracted to people who adore me for exactly who I am. That said, I've certainly met people who make me want to be a better person for them, but not because they require it of me, but because they inspire it in me.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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Post #: 74

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/14/2010 8:43:17 AM

cassandria

Posts: 86
Joined: 6/6/2010
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isn't that a wonderful quality to be able to instill in someone...to be able to inspire them to be better, to grow, to achieve?

Scary thought perhaps if you interpret it in the way of "I'll never have the kind of person I want because I'm not good enough"...

But what if you thought about it in the sense that he would see unlimited potential in you...and inspire you to shed what may have been holding you back, encourage you to set/pursue goals that before you didn't feel capable of achieving, all the while loving you for the woman you are...but also seeing what you will become, and loving her as well?

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 75

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/14/2010 8:45:49 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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this

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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
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Post #: 76

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/14/2010 9:09:37 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Thanks for starting this thread, BKSir!! Such a pleasure to have something REAL to discuss.

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Post #: 77

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/14/2010 9:46:26 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cassandria
isn't that a wonderful quality to be able to instill in someone...to be able to inspire them to be better, to grow, to achieve? Scary thought perhaps if you interpret it in the way of "I'll never have the kind of person I want because I'm not good enough"...

Carol requires me to be more than I am. I do so for her. I'm devoutly happy we are both that way.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to cassandria)

Post #: 78

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/14/2010 9:50:11 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Carol's got a whole raft of faults and I've had 15 years to learn them all... oft-times being on the receiving end of them. And you know what? She STILL intimidates me. She is more than I deserve and more than I can ever hope to deserve. I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that.

How I deal with it? I thank her every day for loving me. I do my best to be worthy of her and I trust in her love to make up the difference between what I can deliver and what she deserves.

Not to pick on Jeff... but there are things said here that pushed a few thoughts.

My girls have faults they are not perfect or near perfection.. but non the less..... there are times I look at what I have and it's oh my god.... I wouldn't use the word Intimidated... But I am clearly humbled at enjoying what I have. If I ever stop being humbled by it... I think it would reflect less of me in character than I would care to consider.

There is no question That I percieve my girls worthy of the best and often far more than I preceive that I could ever give. But this is only half of the equation. For my girls without doubt beleive themselves to have the very best and wish they could only do more for me. I deal with by remembering that I only have half of the equation. They choose me... they choose me for a reason! If they are so incredible... maybe I should just accept they have a good reason for being in my life as I have for being in theirs!

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 79

RE: Intimidated by your s-type? - 6/14/2010 10:42:06 AM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cassandria
isn't that a wonderful quality to be able to instill in someone...to be able to inspire them to be better, to grow, to achieve?

Scary thought perhaps if you interpret it in the way of "I'll never have the kind of person I want because I'm not good enough"...

But what if you thought about it in the sense that he would see unlimited potential in you...and inspire you to shed what may have been holding you back, encourage you to set/pursue goals that before you didn't feel capable of achieving, all the while loving you for the woman you are...but also seeing what you will become, and loving her as well?

In my way of thinking, perhaps it was how I brought up, I would be not only failing myself, but the human race as a whole if I were to allow myself to do otherwise with any person. I believe every person has the potential to be a shining example of humanity, we just have to want to be. It doesn't make any difference what your bank account looks like, or what degrees you have on your wall or your 'position in society', everyone has the potential to be so much more than they ever are if they just wish to be. And a very major part of that is, in my opinion, the desire to not only better ones self, but to inspire others to become better as well.

I wonder though, if that might not be where some of the possible 'intimidation' from such people comes from. The inner fear of failure. A person like I described can't help but be an inspiration to others, just because of who they are I think. And it can be a bit intimidating to want to strive to be better, to be more like their example, but be a bit... I don't want to say 'scared', but, for lack of a better word 'scared' of falling short, and not so much disappointing the other person, but disappointing ones self. Maybe?

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to cassandria)

Post #: 80

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