RE: No Male dominatrices? (Full Version)

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laurell3 -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 11:48:36 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

a) women, in general, have weaker sex drive (libido) than man, they simply don't desire sex and all the other sexual things as strongly as men


You say the cutest things sometimes. I have dated women who could wear out a HS football team. Kid you need to get out of the house more often because your world is WAY to small.

I had to add this kid, most of the women posting on this board would wear you out sexually, frankly, you and I as a tag team couldn't fuck any of these women into a coma. Sad but true.


True that.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 12:00:04 PM)

And that's a shame, really it is, because it's so freeing and liberating to be honest about your level of drives, and not worry about who cares.
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble



Something else that I haven't seen brought up yet is that there will be many women who simply won't admit, even anonymously, how high their libido really is due to the stigmata that has surrounded women and their sex drives for so long.




IronBear -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 12:01:02 PM)

Make that a threesome mate and it still would be true....Sad but true.... So much for the male invincibility ehhhhhhhh. 



BitaTruble -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 12:07:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

And that's a shame, really it is, because it's so freeing and liberating to be honest about your level of drives, and not worry about who cares.


I agree.. but there is a lot of history to overcome in that regard.. and not just for women, but for men as well. Here we are in the 21st Century and there are still plenty of folks who have a medieval outlook on sex.



SimplyMichael -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 12:07:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Make that a threesome mate and it still would be true....Sad but true.... So much for the male invincibility ehhhhhhhh. 


IB, you and I offering to do a tag team WOULD be something worth paying for!



laurell3 -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 12:09:34 PM)

Pfft....only if you were both kneeling.....[8D]



LadyPact -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 12:24:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Well, I could be convinced that paid for mentoring was not pro-domination if it was all done in 3rd person -- if a typically session looked like a college sociology/psychology class. In other words, if there were no commands flowing from the mentor to the mentee other than those directly related to instruction such as "Here's some homework, get it done by class next friday".

Maybe we are looking at it from two different angles.  I might even be reaching a bit, but I'm looking at it from a perspective of taking gender out of it. 

While the most common reason to book a pro is for that person to engage in a session in return for a fee, it isn't the only reason that someone might do that.  Some will also take appointments specifically for co-topping opportunities or to teach topping skills.  That's still a business transaction no matter how you slice it.  If person A is charging person B, it doesn't matter if person B is receiving the whip or learning how to throw it.

As to what Michael was referencing when he mentioned 'charging for mentoring', I can't say a whole lot because I don't know what 'mentoring' he was referring to.  There's a lot of ground that could cover, anything from teaching a particular skill to sharing knowledge on a variety of subjects.  It would still seem like the same concept to Me.



leadership527 -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 1:06:17 PM)

Two different angles I think LP

I would not call it "pro-domination" if I was actually being instructed in anything that someone trained in formal education theory would consider a valid classroom setting. In other words, if the point isn't to be dom'd, then I wouldn't consider it pro-domination. Then I'd consider it pro-something-else.

If the actual purpose was to be educated, then I would call it professional education. For instance, if I booked some pro-domme on this site to demonstrate something to me, I would not think that I had submitted or bottomed to her. There was no D/s or T/b interaction at all. There was instruction.

I think the slipperiness comes in because a lot of folks aren't clear on whether they are wanting to provide/receive education or D/s.



LadyPact -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 1:24:44 PM)

Jeff, there's a whole, BIG playing field about the topic.  Then again, you have to remember that I'm one of those folks who really don't agree with the term 'pro dominant' in the first place.  I happen to think that pro top is more accurate, but that's a whole other kettle of fish.

ETA after reading IB's post.

It occurs to Me that, should you ever be in the position to seek out private instruction regarding something related to BDSM that you were willing to pay for the education, you really wouldn't google the term 'professional educator on BDSM'.  Even if you didn't agree with the term, you'd probably be looking up a 'pro dominant'.




IronBear -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 1:25:46 PM)

Same Jeff as if I were running sex therapy classes for couples. Provided I was not fucking anyone of the couples I would not be performing prostitution even if I was using my own partner to demonstrate. Always good to know the demarcation point and line. IUf you were being instricted onmj something pertaining to BDSM it matters not if the instructor is a sub/slave, Dominant or Pro Dominant. All that hbappens is you have paid for instructions by an experienced operator no matter of his/her status as Amateur/Non Professional or Professional.



LadyPact -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 1:51:38 PM)

IB, the parallel that I draw from your example is more of how I would view a demo.  Most, if not all of the activity is being done to your demo bottom, not on the people who paid to attend the class.  I think that might be the very distinction between an educational seminar to teach better sexual technique and actual prostitution.  (I know the laws are different between our locations on the matter, so I'm guessing on that one.)



leadership527 -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 2:03:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
IB, the parallel that I draw from your example is more of how I would view a demo.  Most, if not all of the activity is being done to your demo bottom, not on the people who paid to attend the class.  I think that might be the very distinction between an educational seminar to teach better sexual technique and actual prostitution.  (I know the laws are different between our locations on the matter, so I'm guessing on that one.)
Interestingly (and not that the laws would necessarily agree with me), but I could be a bit more flexible than this. For instance, if I wanted to understand sadism and masochism better I could easily see myself paying some "pro-whatever" to flog me, whip me, and engage in a wide variety of other sensation play. I tend to research things thoroughly when I am intrigued by them. I'd want to research it from as many angles as I could. If I could find someone, I might also agree to pay a "pro-sub" to let me whip/flog/whatever her and then interview her afterwards. I wouldn't see either of these two interactions as any sort of D/s or T/b. It would simply be hands on training because that's the head space I'd be in at the moment.

Legalities aside, I think it's all about head space. So back to the point about Micheal's paid mentors. In order to know if I'd think of them as pro-doms or not, I'd need to understand what head space both participants were in. IF there was a detached, classroom feel to it, then I'd call it mentor/mentee. If there was a D/s or T/b feel to it, then I'd call it Pro-dom.



LadyPact -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 2:44:04 PM)

I may be a bit more rigid on the term.  Even if you were topping for a learning purpose (the headspace), it seems to Me that you are still topping (the action).  The motivation doesn't necessarily preclude the action.  Whether you're swinging that flogger to learn technique, to turn you on, or because you like hurting the other person, you're still swinging it.  (Hey, I'll even admit that I would get a kick out of the whole thing if you found out you actually liked it.  LOL.)

From My own personal standpoint, I'm actually somewhat disappointed that someone would come up with a paid mentor scenario.  I'm going to use My personal experience to the closest I can come to the idea.  I just can't imagine all those times that I walked up to someone because I admired what they were doing and wanted to learn from them, had they turned around and said, "sure, I'll charge you X for teaching you".  Thankfully, the folks who have taught Me one skill or another have been more pay it forward types.  Somebody passed on knowledge to them, so they were willing to pass it on to Me.  It would have really sucked if they hadn't been willing to do that.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 2:59:47 PM)

I cannot imagine charging someone to teach a topping skill. Sure, if I have to travel to do a demo it's nice if they give me a coffee, but sheesh!! Where would I be if not for all those folks who cheerfully said, "Here, it's easy, let me show you how!"



slavekal -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/15/2010 7:29:16 PM)

Women don't have to pay for sex, and they have no desire to do so.  That's why.   And yes, BDSM is sex.  I don't care what anyone says.



IronBear -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/16/2010 12:27:56 AM)

  WhereI live though, Female and Male Professional (I.E. Paid) Dominants are by law defined as sex workers along with those involved in sex for sale. Now if you are doing what ever sex or BDSM for free (i.e. time out just relaxing with friends or lovers. If however you were for example being paid to teach someone how top give head, and even if you were not actually performing, you would not be seen to be preforming as a Prostitute, but working in the sex industry.



wandersalone -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/16/2010 1:02:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

No, women in my age group really have lower sex drives than men, but this is not the reason why I don't get women.
The reason is that I am not very good seducer and I have my own insecurities and shyness and I don't make enough effort.



quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
I am not sexually inadequate, I am just shy and insecure like A LOT of young men.
It has to do with my lack of dating skills and lack of self confidence, but it has nothing to do with my sexual inadequacies.



If you put even a quarter of the effort you put into writing posts on here into getting out in the real world and becoming friends with women and dating women I am sure your self confidence would improve incredibly fast. Until then unfortunately your posts are going to come across as the naive generalistic (is that a word?) opinionated and misguided ramblings of a kid who is too afraid to step away from his computer.

and yes in Australia I know of at least a handful of male pro-tops in the various states.



Andalusite -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/16/2010 8:22:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal
And yes, BDSM is sex.  I don't care what anyone says.

Umm, it's fine that BDSM is always sexual for you, but you don't get to dictate whether or not it is sexual for me. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't, it depends on the person and the circumstances.



joey46 -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (6/28/2010 7:28:06 PM)

"I always laugh when men say that women have low sex drives. Why? Because the truth is when a woman is sexually happy with someone, she has a raging sex drive.

So I tell men who think this that they either have not made a woman swoon sexually or they ran into the few frigid women out there" -- sexyred1


Hey! Wait a darned minute?  Are you implying that women were not created to do whatever men want them to do? . . .and to like it simply because?

Gee Beav!  This whole thing's turning out to be  lot more complicated than we thought.





txurinal -> RE: No Male dominatrices? (7/5/2010 1:00:34 PM)

Ok - from personal experience. Professional male dominants are rare but they are out there. this slave has visited a few and nearly all were heterosexual. The 1st one i ever visited worked with a female dominant whom he was living with at the time. The ad wasfor a professional MISTRESS and stated that a MASTER was available and male submissives were welcome. To be fair though, most professional male dominants that i have seen advertise are strictly fo r the ladies and do not accept male clients



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