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ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian
A great question, LP. I will say based on my own observations of would-be slaves pining away for alpha females that so many of them tend to operate—perhaps subconsciously—upon some idea they are buying time and attention, even when the women do not self-identify as pros. A gift is given, supposedly without strings attached, but the acceptance of it puts the "Mistress" into an unspoken contract. Before long, the "slave" is expecting access or attention. In affect, he is purchasing her, or attempting to. His servility eviscerates slowly into infantile drama once he doesn't get what he wants or thinks he deserves due to a percieved exchange. Then the bitching ironically starts about "con artists" or "pros". I would say consider the source in many of these cases.

As for the clients of pros, I have found there tends to be either pity set upon them or quiet disgust, as if to convey the feeling that the pro herself is enabling depravity, when in the end it's obvious an industry cannot survive without simple demand, and we live in a very capitalist world. Much of the flack about pros comes from former clients themselves, probably burned bad, and I of course would never expect them to turn the focus of their criticisms upon themselves. Then there is a contemptuous "Madonna" for every "Whore" who can't help but join in the bashing. Women stabbing other women in the back over possession or influence of men isn't anything particularly new, but from what I've seen, most negativity over this subject usually seems fueled by angry and bitter males, and there tends to be a lot of them online.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Eloquent as always, Marc.

I do agree with you.  The thing about an internet site is you have such a cross section of varying angles on the matter (or no experience on the matter) and the lines become blurred.  It's just plain easier to blame the pro and skip the fact that the clients, or potential pool of clients, is what perpetuates the very problem that leads folks to frustration.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
So, why aren't the clients held up to the same kind of scrutiny?  Why aren't the same kind of slurs thrown about for those paying for the session as those who are receiving payment?
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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
So, why aren't the clients held up to the same kind of scrutiny?  Why aren't the same kind of slurs thrown about for those paying for the session as those who are receiving payment?
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geeezzzzzzzzz that's an easy one..... it's cause they are the customer and the customer is always right! ;)

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This thread is going to be opening a huge can of worms. 

The subject of pro domination comes up around here a lot. 

So, why aren't the clients held up to the same kind of scrutiny?  Why aren't the same kind of slurs thrown about for those paying for the session as those who are receiving payment?

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ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian
Well said.

I recall entertaining a subscription to DDI many years ago in my wayward youth. The internet was around, but it was a far more innocent time. People were just learning how to use AOL and 56k was a connection speed from Star Trek.

The deal was simple. You read the ads of Mistresses in your area, you picked up your phone and dialed a number. Sometimes you'd have to leave a message with a personal secretary or answering system. Sometimes you were lucky enough to have her even pick up the phone right then and there. The conversations were direct, polite and interesting. I didn't care for some of the personalities I spoke with, but others were very warm and likable. Eventually I concluded that paying to be dominated wasn't my thing, and I moved on without a fuss.

Perhaps the simplicity of this process came from the fact that one had to make an effort to even know of the existence of such published directories, and pay well for them. Seeking BDSM resources on your own required some degree of passion and intellectual curiosity. Your point about the cross section of internet traffic today is key; it's too easy to find yourself on a pro's online doorstep with a lazy google search and half-hearted interest. The pornutopia online today puts exaggerated and sensational ideas into the minds of visitors and it tends to stick apparently, despite the tomes of published reality and good advice for approaching and engaging "the lifestyle".

So yes. There is ample reason to turn the looking glass back on the whining masses or serial haters and cross examine.

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ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
geeezzzzzzzzz that's an easy one..... it's cause they are the customer and the customer is always right! ;)

[:D] *lol*

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So, why aren't the clients held up to the same kind of scrutiny?  Why aren't the same kind of slurs thrown about for those paying for the session as those who are receiving payment?

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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

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So, why aren't the clients held up to the same kind of scrutiny?  Why aren't the same kind of slurs thrown about for those paying for the session as those who are receiving payment?

~FR~

For the same reasons prostitutes were arrested and not their johns. When men *do bad things*, most cannot assume responsibility and need to blame a woman for being the temptress.

- LA

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

So, why aren't the clients held up to the same kind of scrutiny?  Why aren't the same kind of slurs thrown about for those paying for the session as those who are receiving payment?

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ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

So, why aren't the clients held up to the same kind of scrutiny?  Why aren't the same kind of slurs thrown about for those paying for the session as those who are receiving payment?

~FR~

For the same reasons prostitutes were arrested and not their johns. When men *do bad things*, most cannot assume responsibility and need to blame a woman for being the temptress.

- LA

i nibbled at the edges of the plate ...

LA ... just hit it out of the park.

... pure and simple.

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ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Maybe because the client would get a stiffy from the slurs..

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

So, why aren't the clients held up to the same kind of scrutiny?  Why aren't the same kind of slurs thrown about for those paying for the session as those who are receiving payment?

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady


Except for the fact that in many areas, especially the major cities in the USA, johns ARE arrested with their clients and ARE charged with a crime.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

AQSM, your last paragraph is exactly the point.  I think there's a hypocrisy on this subject.  Folks are more than willing to make derogatory remarks about pros, but it's very rare for them to have the same attitudes toward the clients.  In fact, there are a number of occasions where the very suggestion of 'go to a pro' is often made.  There are no comments about that person being a 'subbiejohn' or any other such thing.  They aren't called fakes for engaging in BDSM due to a financial transaction.  No shouts of scammersub.  No indignation from the masses.  Zilch.

So, how is it that there are two people involved in the business transaction, yet one of them is approved of and the other is not?  It seems to Me, too often, there is one standard for the woman and a completely different one for the man.