RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 7:30:17 PM)
Have your sub pee in it[:D] The police are banging on my door... How do I get rid of them?

HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 7:37:52 PM)
Just tell them you have a massive cache of weapons in you house and you're not affraid to use them. That should keep them away for a while. I have a leak in my ceiling and don't feel like repairing the roof. What flavor of bubble gum will be most effective at stopping the water?

quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 7:39:49 PM)
Watermelon of course.... duh!!!!! The cops have beaten me black and blue.. how do I get them to come back next week and do it again??

HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 7:45:44 PM)
See previous thread involving weapons cache...also taking their donuts is very effective. I sword fell off the wall and skewered the cat...how do I get the blood out of the carpet?

quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 7:50:40 PM)
I heard that red wine is really effective........ or if it is colored carpet try bleach..... maybe acid.... Hell -- pour some of every cleaner you have onit and see what happens. The police have blocked me from calling anymore... they say I am harassing them. What do I do now?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 7:58:27 PM)
quote: The police have blocked me from calling anymore... they say I am harassing them. What do I do now? Recreate the scene from The Terminator where Arnold crashes through the front of the station and starts shooting the place up. This will not only get you beaten, it might just expose you to some nasty gun play. My skin is dry and I do not want to smell like a French whore from some lotion with so much perfume that it would gag a maggot. How can I treat my dry skin and not smell like a tart?

HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 7:59:41 PM)
Geez, do I have to think of EVERYTHING. Just use a neighbor's phone. If they ask what you're doing tell them you're ordering a pizza...if they keep asking you may have to "silence" them. During a ritual gone wrong demons invaded my basement. How do I get rid of them?

PsyVamp -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:03:27 PM)
Call my bible thumping sister.... If only one door is locked, is it still imprisonment?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:05:27 PM)
Not if you have the key. My skin is dry and I do not want to smell like a French whore from some lotion with so much perfume that it would gag a maggot. How can I treat my dry skin and not smell like a tart?

quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:06:52 PM)
Gauge - cover yourself head to toe in Vaseline then wrap up in cling wrap .. keep it on for a week at least. Hydromaster - You will have to set your house on fire. I am getting sick and tired of the lame ass advice I keep getting...... what do I do??

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:10:31 PM)
quote: I am getting sick and tired of the lame ass advice I keep getting...... what do I do?? Well... if I were you I would run out onto the nearest crowded highway and flag down a car and ask the driver what to do. Oh... this is best done at night wearing all black with black face paint. I hate the petroleum jelly answer because I hate the way it smells too. Any other suggestions?

quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:13:00 PM)
You could try steaming hot oatmeal..... I am laying here on the highway bleeding and half conscious, how do I get back at the last guy who gave me advice??

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:17:56 PM)
quote: I am laying here on the highway bleeding and half conscious, how do I get back at the last guy who gave me advice?? Act like his ex-wife. I ate the oatmeal. Now what?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:21:37 PM)
Wait for it to pass through you... I want to colour my hair, but my housemate can't breath from the fumes. How negate the smell?

quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:21:38 PM)
No... the oatmeal was for an enema... now go make more I just shot this reallllly annoying person.. how do I get rid of the body?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:22:57 PM)
Have a bonfire and human-roast. Don't forget the special sauce... I still have the hair colour smell problem... any advice?

quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:25:08 PM)
Eat only cabbage and beans for three days before you color your hair... they won't notice the smell of the dye... trust me I have severe indigestion from "something" I ate.. what do I do?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:26:39 PM)
quote: I still have the hair colour smell problem... any advice? Pour quick drying cement in your roommate's nostrils and that should teach them what it is like to REALLY not be able to breathe. The battery in my electric shaver keeps dying. What should I do?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:29:29 PM)
quietkitten - come to my apartment and 'share' your indigestion with my housemate so I can colour my hair. Gauge - give your batteries mouth-to-terminal rescussitation (really bad spelling, I know). I'm out of tea and I don't have a service slave to make me more. What should I do?

quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (3/1/2007 8:31:56 PM)
Send me a plane ticket... I'll make your tea <wink wink, nudge nudge> My car broke down and I can't afford to get it fixed.. what do I do?

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