RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/24/2007 3:56:12 PM)
quote: How do I get unsightly bloodstains out of the wallpaper? You don't, so bleed on the rest of the wallpaper so it matches. My thumb hurts every time I hit the space bar. What should I do?

tatangel -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/24/2007 6:26:28 PM)
Amputate something else. Presto! Thumb aches gone! How do I go about steaming off old stained wallpaper?

LaMspeach -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/24/2007 6:37:54 PM)
breath very heavy until steam builds up and wallpaper comes off easily. How do i get all this packing done before i have to move ?

Aileen68 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/24/2007 7:06:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaMspeach How do i get all this packing done before i have to move ? Order LaM to do it. I can't sleep. What should I do to make myself tired?

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/24/2007 7:59:34 PM)
I've seen Wile E. Coyote do this....beat yourself in the head repeatedly with a ball peen hammer. I'm worried a burglar will come and steal the change from my spare change jar. Where should I be hiding the change so not to worry?

CK1 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/24/2007 9:36:34 PM)
They say the best place to hide things is out in the open. So, keep it on your porch. Place alot of hundred dollar bills around it as an added distraction. I have to be up in 3 and a half hours, how can I be sure to wake up in time?

djinnblu -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/24/2007 11:17:18 PM)
Take 4 sleeping pills and relax, i'm sure your boss will wake you up in the morn.... i'm too 'nice' what can i do to be more aggressive????

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/24/2007 11:54:43 PM)
Mud wrestle with crocodiles... that'll teach you how to be aggressive. How does one go about nabbing and ravishing the King of Leprechauns whilst his Mistress watches?

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/25/2007 9:36:56 AM)
Email Her when She has me all tied up. And you will get your three wishes back. Lucky leprechaun. As King of the leprechauns......how many wishes should I grant? Three doesn't seem to factor inflation.

tatangel -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/25/2007 3:14:47 PM)
three and 1/2. Then they will be REALLY careful what they wish for. I have noticed I have a lot of pent up anger the last 2 days. How shall I get rid of it?

FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/25/2007 4:04:04 PM)
Unpent it or expent it or balance it with some pentdown anger. Maybe have a near death experience and realise that not much is really worth getting angry about. Or watch the Friends episode where Ross gets run over with a car ‘friends the directors cut’. I keep getting woken up by killer mosquitoes, they buzz around my ears. How do I stop this without having to get up to do it? Before you answer I did think about getting one of those blue lights like in bakers but it would keep me awake I feel.

GoddessKai -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/25/2007 5:43:26 PM)
Stick some earplugs in and wrap your entire head in saran wrap. What should I make for dinner tonight?

goodlittlegirl28 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/25/2007 8:24:11 PM)
what did you make for dinner last night? stick with the same thing and you'll never have to worry over that decision again. my pervy dad is thinking of moving closer to me. i already know too much about what goes on in his world, i don't want to see it, too, let alone have him see mine. how do i discourage this?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/25/2007 9:30:37 PM)
Go visit him with one of your know-it-all-seen-it-all-and-I-know-better-than-you-ever-will Aunties who is forever trying to set people up. Then casually explain (while said Auntie is out of earshot), how you have a lovely little community home picked out for him and Auntie. Or just wait 'till he's asleep and leave a poo on his chest. Tell him the voices made you do it. They like him. A lot. Especially when he's uncomfortable. Maybe screaming. Does he scream prettily? insert evil insane cackle at this point I'm curious as to how such a senario will pan out. How do I become a fly on the wall to eavesdrop?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/26/2007 10:00:37 AM)
quote: I'm curious as to how such a senario will pan out. How do I become a fly on the wall to eavesdrop? Disassemble your molecules and fuse them with a fly... duh. I just said "duh" to someone. I fear they might hire Ninjas to assassinate me. What should I do?

GoddessKai -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/26/2007 10:03:57 AM)
Hide under the sofa, armed with a field hockey stick and a purple metal collander on your head as protective measure. Make sure to take photographs and send them to mean-spirited strangers over the internet so they can make fun of the lapse in sanity you had. I'm hiring ninjas out to Mikal from My private stash of ninjosity. How much should I charge?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/26/2007 11:32:24 AM)
Monetarily - not much... the true worth of the ninjas comes from the amusement they bring. I'll invite you to watch while the ninjas have a go at Gauge, and I'll provide the cookies, brownies, and tiny sandwiches as well as the beverage of your choice (so long as it isn't Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee). I think I may have gotten a deal on ninjas to torment Gauge and amuse Goddess Kia and myself.... but how do I get those ninjas from Michigan to Pennsylvania? I don't have a car (yet).

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/26/2007 4:21:43 PM)
quote: I think I may have gotten a deal on ninjas to torment Gauge and amuse Goddess Kia and myself.... but how do I get those ninjas from Michigan to Pennsylvania? I don't have a car (yet). On Ninja Airlines of course. Or I could come pick them up. I think I am confused. How can I tell if I am?

FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/26/2007 4:26:28 PM)
Ask yourself if having nothing is the same as having everything because to have everything that would also include having the item known as nothing. So do you now have everything including nothing or just nothing? I used to be able to make good spaghetti on toast but I’ve lost my touch how can I regain my spaghetti on toast making skills?

GoddessKai -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/26/2007 5:21:31 PM)
Use a teflon pan and season it all with rat poison. Feed the leftovers to your next door neighbor. Hopefully, she croaks before you so you can bury her body in your garden and plant tulips and daffodils. I'm thinking of having a few of My ladyfriends over for tea and a light lunch next weekend. What kind of fingerfoods should I serve?

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