RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/6/2007 8:09:48 AM)

quote:

I get aroused when getting tattooed where should i get my next one and how big?


Get one on your eyeballs. Have it be as big as possible.

I tried the home cough remedy and now I have the runs. What should I do now?



CrimsonMoan -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/6/2007 8:11:57 AM)

walk around without pants or underwear and let nature RUN its course.

Tattoo guy said he won't do my eyeball? Any other locations i should think of?



ready4srvce4all -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/7/2007 12:02:54 AM)

The intestines.  It can be real simple, just arrows pointing in the direction of flow.

I want to run for president.  How do I explain my CM ad if the press finds out about it?



szobras -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/7/2007 12:34:34 AM)

Just have them direct all questions to the forum and entitle each with FAKES! , and TRUE in the subject. We'll take care of the rest.

I've got a bad cramp in my middle finger that won't let it bend. everybody thinks I'm flipping them off. Whatt can I do about it?



earthycouple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/7/2007 5:16:52 PM)

break it off..problem solved.


I want to take a trip around the world to meet certain people.  I'm broke how to I fund my trip?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/7/2007 5:58:00 PM)

quote:

I want to take a trip around the world to meet certain people.  I'm broke how to I fund my trip?


Sell your internal organs.

I burned my arm on a hot cooking pan. It hurts. What can I do to treat the burn?



earthycouple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/7/2007 6:38:11 PM)

*S* let this nurse take care of you

how can I get gauge here to do my evil bidding?



forcemarch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 3:45:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple
how can I get gauge here to do my evil bidding?


Take his cat and throw it in a kennel full of Pitbulls. Cats make a great chew toy.


I am getting a yearly check-up next week. I know the Doctor is going to have to check my prostrate this time. I am having a little anxiety about his finger up my ass. What can I do to not get so worked up about this?



tatangel -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 4:31:05 PM)

Valium and laxitives. It won't bother you a bit. I want to get a new car, but they are too expensive. What can I do to earn money?



forcemarch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 4:53:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tatangel

I want to get a new car, but they are too expensive. What can I do to earn money?


Sell crack to young inner city children. It's quite lucrative.

I'm taking off some time away from work. I have no plans. What can I do for fun? 





nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 4:56:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: forcemarch


I'm taking off some time away from work. I have no plans. What can I do for fun? 




Come down to Pensacola, and count the individual grains of sand on the beach. It is important that each one be tabulated for insurance purposes, before the next hurricane. After all, we just paid to have the beach replaced. *sighs*


I have not even finished repairing my house after the last hurricane, and it is already hurricane season again. What should I do?

(edited for pisspoor typing skills)



beargonewild -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 5:04:35 PM)

Don't bother wasting the money to rush and fix the repairs. Abandon your house nd buy another house in Nebraska where they don't have hurricanes.

I'm in a foul mood where I want to cause lots of trouble. How can I do this without being jailed?



tatangel -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 5:10:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

Don't bother wasting the money to rush and fix the repairs. Abandon your house nd buy another house in Nebraska where they don't have hurricanes.

I'm in a foul mood where I want to cause lots of trouble. How can I do this without being jailed?
On CM of course! Duh! What is the best way to help bear get into trouble?



forcemarch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 5:27:59 PM)

Get in your car immediately and drive to the nearest city. Find the part of town that has a lot of minorities. Get out of your car and start yelling out racist slurs and such. I assure you will not be arrested. Plus it's alot of fun.  

I am having recurring fantasies and thoughts about queening [being queened]. How can I stop thinking about it?   



petdave -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 5:55:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: forcemarch
I am having recurring fantasies and thoughts about queening [being queened]. How can I stop thinking about it?   


Pay for a year of T-1 service at my house. i'll email you a bonanza of facesitting porn. After several hours of frantic masturbation, you'll be less interested in queening than a nap and a couple ibuprofin for your elbow.

My cat is laying on my mousepad looking pathetic. How can i cheer her up?



nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 6:02:55 PM)

Give her some laxative to help her pass the mouse. I hope it was a wireless mouse, or that cord is REALLY going to tickle going through.........

I am having trouble sleeping at night, and counting sheep just does nothing for me. What should I do?



forcemarch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 6:54:59 PM)

Here's what works for me. As you lay to sleep, think about a big hairy spider crawling up the sheet. Know that when you eventually fall asleep that spider will crawl all over you. Your lips, hair, inside your ear, it will crawl under your sheets and crawl over your entire body. Then more spiders appear. Running all over you...crawling...You open your mouth and a very large wolf spider crawls inside....You suddenly wake up and jump out of bed trying despartely trying to shake off the spiders covering and crawling on your skin. You step out of bed only to hear the sound of thousands of spiders crushed with their guts oozing out under your feet.  The little creatures crawl up your legs...between your legs....biting your flesh.

...Then you think about counting fluffy puffy sheep again and fall fast asleep.  :)


Sometimes I get lonely. What's the best cure for that?


<Edited because I made a typo and I heard you could be arrested for that.>



KyttynTheMynx -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 7:00:25 PM)

make up a host of imaginary friends, go walking in town, and insist that every passer by address all of the imaginary friends by name. 

im realllly bored at work right now...what can i do to liven things up?



forcemarch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 7:11:10 PM)

Order a LARGE sausage pizza from a local pizza place. When the delivery boy comes answer the door completely naked, look very seductive, and ask the boy "Do you have my large sausage"? See what happens.

I think I've gone insane. How can I tell?




Boucanier -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/8/2007 7:12:20 PM)

Hold an impromptu paintball tournament, Black Trenchcoats vs. Old Army Fatigues.

Hey, there's a nasty rotten-eggs smell coming from my gas stove.  What could be causing that?



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