RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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stella41b -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 2:58:59 AM)
Take yourself off to the police station and demand to be tickled. I've lost my keys. What should I do?

sirsholly -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 4:00:20 AM)
Ask Sci to break your car window. He is good at it. I have a stuffy nose and it is really annoying. What do i do?

PeterJay -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 9:37:43 AM)
Tie a plastic bag over your head & breath norman. The hot air should break up the clog. My stomach hurts after drinking a jar of salsa on a bet. How can I stop the pain?

sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 10:53:10 AM)
Follow the salsa with lots of melted Velveeta processed cheese food. It will coat the inside of your stomach as well as lay down a thick, impenetrable layer over the salsa to keep it contained into a nice firm mass. My brain hurts when I think. What can I do?

ArmoredOne -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 10:56:27 AM)
Eat more bran... the thughts flow much easier that way... The floor is fraking cold this morning and the cats stole my house slippers... any suggestions for replacement slippers?

sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 10:59:06 AM)
The cats. How you fashion them into slippers I'll leave up to you. >:-) The lawn needs to be mowed, edged, and trimmed and I need to finish up some tech projects indoors today. How can I get both done?

ArmoredOne -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 11:30:13 AM)
50 pounds of rock salt and a tiller can cure that whole pesky grass thing for years to come... granted, the mud can be problematic, but also fun, depending on who you force to strip and then toss in said mud... as for the tech... uhhh... I dunno... depends on what it is... I guess.. maybe... I tried to turn the cats into fuzzy house slippers and now the wife is holding them both hostage in the bedroom and won't let me come in there cuz I was mean to 'her babies'... any chance of cozying up to her and still getting my feet warm?

NeedsFocus -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 10:36:51 PM)
Set the living room on fire. Then, there will be no need to turn the cats into slippers AND women usually think a man that can build a fire is sexy and romantic. She will curl up with you in no time. I have a ton of plastic bottles, but I don't know of any place around here to take them to recycle. What should I do?

MadAxeman -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 10:45:24 PM)
*Build an extension to your house with them, add a 'for sale' sign and take the first offer.* *I don't like the 'ping' sound my microwave makes, what can I do?*

BKSir -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 10:51:51 PM)
Put a couple of jars of salsa and jars of peanut butter in there, tightly sealed, set it to 'high' and put the timer on for about 15 minutes, and run like hell. I can never find my keys when I need them, and hate those big, heavy noisemaker things you can get to help find them. What can I do?

hlen5 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 10:54:57 PM)
Sell your car, your house, your office, empty your safe deposit box, empty your storage space. No more need for keys!!! I need to change the pitch of my nearly flat roof. I don't have the dough. Any suggestions?

RainydayNE -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/26/2008 11:19:37 PM)
get cinder blocks and tip up one side of your house so your roof won't look flat anymore added bonus -- "walk out basement"! my neighbor has a dog that won't stop barking -- how can i get this to stop?

sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/27/2008 8:34:56 AM)
Sprinkle a bit of alum into the dog's water or food, not enough to kill it but enough to cause it to pucker up. That should give you a few hours of quiet. iTunes wants to charge me extra to upgrade to higher quality downloads even though there is no price difference between standard and higher quality files when purchased up front. What's the best way to deal with this?

SlaveSuru -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/12/2008 6:40:41 AM)
Find a Torrent program and download them illegally, that'll show them... Till you get thrown in jail for stealing. I can't seem to get through this book I am reading, too many interruptions what should I do?

Aylee -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/12/2008 7:19:14 AM)
Only read the first and last page. The middle stuff is just a buch of stupid narrative anyway. My toddler won't leave the phone alone, what should I do?

shivermetimbers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/13/2008 11:45:36 AM)
Put knives beneath each electrical outlet for them to play with instead. I'm never sure what snacks to serve to company, can you give me some pointers?

PeterJay -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/13/2008 11:52:01 AM)
Ask your guest's what they like to snack on. If you like it, uninvite them & keep the snacks for yourself. Someone in the neighborhood is feeding the cats. How can I keep them from coming into my yard?

SlaveSuru -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2008 4:53:25 AM)
Get a very large vicious dog, then maybe the neighbors will feed it.... Their hands when they reach in to pet it, then with no hands no more feeding of cats! I have so much to do today and not enough time do to it all. What should I do?

Dnomyar -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2008 5:07:08 AM)
Give him a quickie. My drawer is empty of clocolate candy. What should I do.

sirsholly -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2008 5:29:17 AM)
locate a PMSing female and steal hers...right after you include me in your will. Dry skin has me scratching myself silly. What do i do?

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