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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 2:58:59 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Take yourself off to the police station and demand to be tickled.

I've lost my keys. What should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 4:00:20 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		Ask Sci to break your car window. He is good at it.

I have a stuffy nose and it is really annoying. What do i do?


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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 9:37:43 AM   
PeterJay


Posts: 1220
Joined: 9/24/2006
Status: offline 		Tie a plastic bag over your head & breath norman. The hot air should break up the clog.

My stomach hurts after drinking a jar of salsa on a bet. How can I stop the pain?


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People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. J. Morrison

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 10:53:10 AM   
sappatoti


Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline 		Follow the salsa with lots of melted Velveeta processed cheese food. It will coat the inside of your stomach as well as lay down a thick, impenetrable layer over the salsa to keep it contained into a nice firm mass.

My brain hurts when I think. What can I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 10:56:27 AM   
ArmoredOne


Posts: 243
Joined: 10/24/2008
Status: offline 		Eat more bran... the thughts flow much easier that way...

The floor is fraking cold this morning and the cats stole my house slippers... any suggestions for replacement slippers?

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Profile   Post #: 4865
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 10:59:06 AM   
sappatoti


Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline 		The cats. How you fashion them into slippers I'll leave up to you.

>:-)

The lawn needs to be mowed, edged, and trimmed and I need to finish up some tech projects indoors today. How can I get both done?

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Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

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Profile   Post #: 4866
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 11:30:13 AM   
ArmoredOne


Posts: 243
Joined: 10/24/2008
Status: offline 		50 pounds of rock salt and a tiller can cure that whole pesky grass thing for years to come... granted, the mud can be problematic, but also fun, depending on who you force to strip and then toss in said mud... as for the tech... uhhh... I dunno... depends on what it is... I guess.. maybe...

I tried to turn the cats into fuzzy house slippers and now the wife is holding them both hostage in the bedroom and won't let me come in there cuz I was mean to 'her babies'... any chance of cozying up to her and still getting my feet warm?

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Profile   Post #: 4867
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 10:36:51 PM   
NeedsFocus


Posts: 42
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		Set the living room on fire. Then, there will be no need to turn the cats into slippers AND women usually think a man that can build a fire is sexy and romantic. She will curl up with you in no time.

I have a ton of plastic bottles, but I don't know of any place around here to take them to recycle. What should I do?

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Profile   Post #: 4868
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 10:45:24 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		Build an extension to your house with them, add a 'for sale' sign and take the first offer.
I don't like the 'ping' sound my microwave makes, what can I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 10:51:51 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Put a couple of jars of salsa and jars of peanut butter in there, tightly sealed, set it to 'high' and put the timer on for about 15 minutes, and run like hell.

I can never find my keys when I need them, and hate those big, heavy noisemaker things you can get to help find them.  What can I do?


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Profile   Post #: 4870
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 10:54:57 PM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		Sell your car, your house, your office, empty your safe deposit box, empty your storage space. No more need for keys!!!

I need to change the pitch of my nearly flat roof. I don't have the dough. Any suggestions?

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 10/26/2008 10:56:39 PM >

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/26/2008 11:19:37 PM   
RainydayNE


Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline 		get cinder blocks and tip up one side of your house so your roof won't look flat anymore
added bonus -- "walk out basement"!

my neighbor has a dog that won't stop barking -- how can i get this to stop?

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Profile   Post #: 4872
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/27/2008 8:34:56 AM   
sappatoti


Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline 		Sprinkle a bit of alum into the dog's water or food, not enough to kill it but enough to cause it to pucker up. That should give you a few hours of quiet.

iTunes wants to charge me extra to upgrade to higher quality downloads even though there is no price difference between standard and higher quality files when purchased up front. What's the best way to deal with this?

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Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

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Profile   Post #: 4873
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/12/2008 6:40:41 AM   
SlaveSuru


Posts: 89
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Find a Torrent program and download them illegally,  that'll show them...  Till you get thrown in jail for stealing.

I can't seem to get through this book I am reading,  too many interruptions what should I do?

< Message edited by SlaveSuru -- 11/12/2008 6:42:25 AM >

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/12/2008 7:19:14 AM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		Only read the first and last page.  The middle stuff is just a buch of stupid narrative anyway.


My toddler won't leave the phone alone, what should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/13/2008 11:45:36 AM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Put knives beneath each electrical outlet for them to play with instead.

I'm never sure what snacks to serve to company, can you give me some pointers?



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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/13/2008 11:52:01 AM   
PeterJay


Posts: 1220
Joined: 9/24/2006
Status: offline 		Ask your guest's what they like to snack on. If you like it, uninvite them & keep the snacks for yourself.

Someone in the neighborhood is feeding the cats. How can I keep them from coming into my yard?


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People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. J. Morrison

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Profile   Post #: 4877
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 4:53:25 AM   
SlaveSuru


Posts: 89
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Get a very large vicious dog, then maybe the neighbors will feed it.... Their hands when they reach in to pet it,  then with no hands no more feeding of cats!

I have so much to do today and not enough time do to it all.  What should I do?


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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 5:07:08 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Give him a quickie.

My drawer is empty of clocolate candy. What should I do.

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Profile   Post #: 4879
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 5:29:17 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		locate a PMSing female and steal hers...right after you include me in your will.

Dry skin has me scratching myself silly. What do i do?


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PICKED UPON
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MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
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Profile   Post #: 4880
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