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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 12:34:47 PM

pissthirstysub

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buy snow and have someone throw it at you
how do I clean my keyboard?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 12:35:08 PM

shivermetimbers

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Does that mean it is raining and you were expecting snow? If so collect the rain in a container, turn it into ice cubes, put the ice in a blender to make it "snow", spill it out on the kitchen floor, blindfold yourself, then try and walk through without slipping and breaking your neck, hence giving you snow dodging practice when it rains.

Okay, I know, I sometimes just don't get the question, is there a way I can come to complete understanding?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 12:38:06 PM

pissthirstysub

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go out and buy "The Complete Guide To Understanding Everything" by pissthirstysub
how do i clean my keyboard?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 12:38:35 PM

sirsholly

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assuming "Complete Understanding" is music...crank it up and stroke till you squirt.

My mouth stays dry dispite all the water i am drinking. Any advice?

< Message edited by sirsholly -- 11/14/2008 12:50:14 PM >

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 12:47:14 PM

shivermetimbers

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Mix a half cup of salt into every glass of water, the salt will help to retain the moisture.

I want to tell a coworker her ass crack is always showing, but how do I tell her in a non embarrassing fashion?

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I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 12:49:55 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shivermetimbers

Mix a half cup of salt into every glass of water, the salt will help to retain the moisture.

I want to tell a coworker her ass crack is always showing, but how do I tell her in a non embarrassing fashion?

wear a pair of low cut jeans, bend over, point to the plumbers smile and bellow "Hey lookie...we're twins."

How do i stop yawning?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 1:03:08 PM

stella41b

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Brush your teeth with superglue.

It's Friday evening and I want to go out but I'm really tired.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 1:21:07 PM

Aylee

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Check yourself into a loony bin by claiming to be suicidal. That way you are AWAY from home AND can get some sleep.

My sister just sent me a stupid-ass email jewlry party invite. What should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 1:27:13 PM

shivermetimbers

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Steal her checkbook, and buy one of everything.

I don't know how to replace the bag in my vacuum and I can't afford to buy a new one. How do I get my carpet clean?

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I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 1:52:13 PM

Aylee

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Buy a dog.

I am bored. What should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 1:58:37 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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Go to Mass, and while the priest is preaching, walk up and lift their robes to see if they preach commando.

I'm sad, what should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/14/2008 3:24:04 PM

shivermetimbers

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Go to the nearest casino and gamble!

I owe the IRS back taxes and I don't have the money, how am I going to pay the bill?

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I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/15/2008 12:43:12 AM

MadAxeman

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Send them counterfeit money.
My sink is full of dirty dishes.
Are CDs safe to use as plates?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/15/2008 4:38:37 AM

sirsholly

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of course...as long as you do not get your tongue caught in the CD player.

I have an overwhelming desire to beat the shit out of Tickle Me Elmo. Should I?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/15/2008 4:48:02 AM

SilverMark

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YES....elmo ejoys a good beating....

Should I use an Ice Pick to remove the sleep from eyes?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/15/2008 4:53:15 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverMark

YES....elmo ejoys a good beating....

Should I use an Ice Pick to remove the sleep from eyes?

of course...and a chain saw to trim that pesky pubic hair.

My weekend plans are a trip to Walmart for groceries. i am having a hard time containing the JOY....any advice?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/15/2008 4:57:39 AM

SilverMark

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Detour to K-Mart and await the Blue Light Special....

Can I use the chinsaw to shave my face as well?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/15/2008 6:56:22 AM

shivermetimbers

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Yes, but use a weedwacker to trim the eyebrows.

I have a sore tooth, but can't afford the dentist. What should I do?

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I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/15/2008 11:47:31 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Get some clove oil, smear it on--really works.

I am in love and shouldn't be, what should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/15/2008 11:58:50 AM

mummyman321

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Lady H's suggestion is good.
You can also try Sensodyne toothpaste. THe is also Orajel product for toothaches which helps numb the area.

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