RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

Page: << < prev 23 24 [25] 26 27 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/28/2006 10:29:50 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

i have far too many weeds to get rid of and roses to cut back and need a quick way to get rid of the weeds while keeping the flowers (and cut back the roses to thorny canes)?

Throw a tarp over the weeds and forget about them, shellac the roses, they keep longer that way, cut the 'thorny canes' and sell them at munches as 'toys' to sadists...damn, that was too easy :-)

I am looking for a way to get through emotional emptiness, thoughts? No alcohol is no longer an option...

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to sylphgossamer)

Post #: 481

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/28/2006 10:34:00 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sylphgossamer

why, staples of course! fast and used by the professionals.

i have far too many weeds to get rid of and roses to cut back and need a quick way to get rid of the weeds while keeping the flowers (and cut back the roses to thorny canes)?

A precision flamethrower is what you need. No special skills required. So safe a baby could do it.

I'm carrying alot of debt and need to get those pesky creditors off my back. What should I do?

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

(in reply to sylphgossamer)

Post #: 482

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/28/2006 10:40:25 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I am looking for a way to get through emotional emptiness, thoughts? No alcohol is no longer an option...

Try watching a Barney the Purple Dinosaur video.

quote:

I'm carrying alot of debt and need to get those pesky creditors off my back. What should I do?

Tell them you have died. When they ask for verification send them your corpse. The creditors will back off in no time flat.

I need a new card table but I am not sure what kind to get.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 483

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/28/2006 10:41:22 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I'm carrying alot of debt and need to get those pesky creditors off my back. What should I do?

Return all correspondence marked "deceased"

I am looking for a way to get through emotional emptiness, thoughts? No alcohol is no longer an option...

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 484

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 12:05:02 AM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

You need a pet Monkey,
Will keep You so busy You'll be fine.

My Boss is Coming on to me, but She's a He.
What do I do?

Always, Ant

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 485

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 12:12:53 AM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

My Boss is Coming on to me, but She's a He.
What do I do?

Buy Him a wonder bra and introduce him/her to my pet monkey...
I cannot think of either a good question or a witty one in seeking advice, what should I do?

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 486

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 11:11:22 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

I cannot think of either a good question or a witty one in seeking advice, what should I do?

C

Explore your gay side with a series of one night stands.

I have to move but don't feel like house hunting. What should I do?

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 4/29/2006 11:13:39 AM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 487

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 11:16:39 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

I need a new card table but I am not sure what kind to get.

Send me all your money and I'll pick one out for you. I'm staying at the Venetian in Vegas. HURRY!

I need to move but I don't feel like house hunting, what should I do?

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 488

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 11:28:03 AM

SylentStryder

Posts: 85
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline

Bulldozer, works everytime....and all ya gotta do is don gloves then just pickup the canes off the ground (empasis on GROUND)

_____________________________

I am of Gor, she is in me, I am her.

(in reply to sylphgossamer)

Post #: 489

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 12:22:27 PM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

Live in a mobile home for the rest of your life.

My computer is full of crap music and I can’t find the tunes I do like. Please help me.

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to SylentStryder)

Post #: 490

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 2:00:39 PM

SylentStryder

Posts: 85
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

Live in a mobile home for the rest of your life.

My computer is full of crap music and I can’t find the tunes I do like. Please help me.

Damn, how'd you know I live inna mobile home???

Anyway...take and axe, chop away all the computer stuff, dig out the music you want, stuff it inside a new computer.

My fish is swimming on it's back, does that mean it's dead???

_____________________________

I am of Gor, she is in me, I am her.

(in reply to FullCircle)

Post #: 491

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 2:04:50 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

quote:

My fish is swimming on it's back, does that mean it's dead???

No, its not dead, its simply waiting for another to come along and rape it, my advice is go buy 3 other fish and watch the fun begin.

Beezelybub my ceramic pet dog keeps barking at the imaginary mailman, what do i do?

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 4/29/2006 2:07:16 PM >

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to SylentStryder)

Post #: 492

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 2:07:19 PM

SylentStryder

Posts: 85
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline

Put an imaginary, electronic bark stopper on it, everytime it barks, send 100,000 imaginary volts thru it, that should do the trick.

My slave is a slut, what should I do?

_____________________________

I am of Gor, she is in me, I am her.

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 493

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 2:13:55 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylentStryder

My slave is a slut, what should I do?

And the problem is? However, on a serious note, call your mom and ask her for advice, you may find yourself in church tomorrow on your knees for hours, problem solved either that or maybe you should have your slave call mom as she is probably more apt on her knees for hours at a time.

BTW, who the hell decided slaves should kneel anyway, has anyone heard of arthritis?

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to SylentStryder)

Post #: 494

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 2:17:14 PM

SylentStryder

Posts: 85
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline

I decided it, puts em in a perfect position to ......uh never mind....you get my point....hehehe

Who the HELL invented those damned Post-It Notes anyway????

_____________________________

I am of Gor, she is in me, I am her.

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 495

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 3:50:23 PM

Craftsman

Posts: 885
Joined: 6/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylentStryder

I decided it, puts em in a perfect position to ......uh never mind....you get my point....hehehe

Who the HELL invented those damned Post-It Notes anyway????

The inventor was Art Fry, while he was working for 3M, and they were first marketed in th 1970s. As far as I know, Art is not yet in hell, hence no one in hell invented Post-It Notes, damned or not.

How should I cure the tinea pedis under my sub's right big toenail? (tinea pedis is a fungal infection)

_____________________________

You do not have to be perfect to be perfect.

(in reply to SylentStryder)

Post #: 496

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 5:34:12 PM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

Acid bath

My pencil sharpener is blunt what o what do I do now?

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Craftsman)

Post #: 497

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 5:37:44 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Sharpen it to a point, jab it into your finger, fill a vial with blood, and write with that.

I accidentally lit a piece of paper on fire, and it's slowly but surely burning all the paper in my office, it's getting kinda smoky, and hot.

Any advice?

Yours,

benji

< Message edited by gooddogbenji -- 4/29/2006 5:38:20 PM >

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to FullCircle)

Post #: 498

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 5:48:09 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I accidentally lit a piece of paper on fire, and it's slowly but surely burning all the paper in my office, it's getting kinda smoky, and hot.

Any advice?

Yours,

benji

Break out the marshmallows and quit whining...

Today is lotus' birthday and feeling melancholy what should I do??

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 499

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 8:27:22 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Today is lotus' birthday and feeling melancholy what should I do??

Get her a new, wind up Dick Cheney doll. It walks, it talks but doesn't make sense, it shoots lawyers by mistake. It's perfect for a gift.

My jaw is begining to hurt. I think I grind my teeth at night. What should I do?

< Message edited by Gauge -- 4/29/2006 8:28:43 PM >

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 500

Page: << < prev 23 24 [25] 26 27 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

Page: << < prev 23 24 [25] 26 27 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.107