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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 8:38:20 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Stay up and watch yourself.  You'll quickly see if you grind your teeth while you're asleep if you stay awake and watch yourself sleeping.  It might be a long night, so make sure to not fall asleep.

And I have to say, whenever I do these things, I always find it helpful to take some sleeping pills, otherwise I can't fall asleep.

I wish my new fishies wouldn't do the bellyup so quickly.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 501
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 8:51:05 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I wish my new fishies wouldn't do the bellyup so quickly.


When you get them home, staple them to the plastic plants in the tank.

I need ice cream and I don't have any. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 502
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 8:53:54 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Take cream, freeze it, and there you go!  Directly from Mia Mamma, this recipe.

How do I spare myself the agony of doing dishes?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 503
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 8:55:18 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

How do I spare myself the agony of washing dishes?


Throw them in the trash and buy new ones every day.

The cost of shipping on the DVD's I order from Columbia House has gone through the roof. What should I do?

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 4/29/2006 8:56:35 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 504
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 8:57:37 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Order them domestically, not from Columbia.

Coke's not good for you anyway.

How do I get my alarm clock to be less annoying in the morning?

Your imperial jester to Queen Bita III


benji

< Message edited by gooddogbenji -- 4/29/2006 9:13:44 PM >

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 505
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 9:47:13 PM   
orokana


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:


How do I get my alarm clock to be less annoying in the morning?


Adobt a four year old.

How can I keep my glasses from getting smudgy?

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 506
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 10:05:14 PM   
Takethiswaltz


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		cover them with saran wrap.
 
I don't have a problem to solve right now.  what should I do?

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

(in reply to orokana)
Profile   Post #: 507
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 10:09:46 PM   
orokana


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline 		Locate the nearest person and slap them in the face.

I'm all out of Gatorade... what should I do?

(in reply to Takethiswaltz)
Profile   Post #: 508
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 10:47:15 PM   
SylentStryder


Posts: 85
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline 		Suck your thumb at night, one good grind on that should do the trick.

My mobile phone won't ring, wonder wy?

_____________________________

I am of Gor, she is in me, I am her.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 509
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 11:14:55 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I'm all out of Gatorade... what should I do?


Hand pick and squeeze more fresh gators.


quote:

 My mobile phone won't ring, wonder wy? 


I am guessing here, but you are calling yourself, aren't you?


I really should go to bed and read, but I am not tired. Any suggestions?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to orokana)
Profile   Post #: 510
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 11:18:26 PM   
orokana


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline 		Try blasting some of your favorite music while enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee.

My neck hurts, what should I do?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 511
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/29/2006 11:26:58 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My neck hurts, what should I do?


Stick knitting needles through your nipples and twist them and pretend you are an army cargo helicopter... that should take your mind off of your neck.


My leg won't stop shaking... it is getting on my nerves.



_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to orokana)
Profile   Post #: 512
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/30/2006 12:49:27 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:


My leg won't stop shaking... it is getting on my nerves.




Go ahead and indulge in that amputation fetish you've been dreaming of and your legs will immediately stop shaking.

I need a good book and the library is closed tomorrow. What should I do if I want to read?

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 513
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/30/2006 1:56:03 AM   
MsLayla


Posts: 47
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Sweden/Belgium
Status: offline 		Go to the pantry, bound to be some nice reading on the back of the spagetti box?
Vacation time is coming up, where should I go?

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 514
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/30/2006 3:11:13 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Go to that great holiday destination Iraq. The weather is nice there this time of year you’ll find. Some of the locals are also kind enough to put you up in their own houses for free.

Does anyone know a quick and effective cure for the common cold?

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to MsLayla)
Profile   Post #: 515
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/30/2006 4:29:58 AM   
rivenmoon


Posts: 330
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		Marry royalty then the cold wont be so common anymore.

How do you avoid radar traps and speeding fines?

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 516
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/30/2006 10:53:47 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Go off-roading your new Mercedes.  Staying off the highway always does the trick.

I'm trying to write a birthday card for my husband and I can't think of anything write.



_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to rivenmoon)
Profile   Post #: 517
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/30/2006 12:22:31 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain

Go off-roading your new Mercedes.  Staying off the highway always does the trick.

I'm trying to write a birthday card for my husband and I can't think of anything write.




Copy a verse and twist the words a little bit from your favorite Bush press conference.

I have an employee who I think is misappropriating my ''petty cash'' fund in my business. What should I do?


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 518
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/30/2006 12:43:38 PM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

I have an employee who I think is misappropriating my ''petty cash'' fund in my business. What should I do?

Put them in charge of larger accounts, they won't even mess with petty cash anymore.
 
It stays light too long for me to go to the hot tub nude with daylight saving time, how can I make it get dark earlier.

< Message edited by ScooterTrash -- 4/30/2006 12:44:26 PM >

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 519
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/30/2006 12:57:23 PM   
xsolitairex


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		Invite the employee for a ride in your new Benz.

I'm out of cool whip for my pie, what should I do?

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 520
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