RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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JoyfulMistress -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/23/2008 2:14:20 PM)
step outside naked....stroll down the street ... you will be picked up before you know it and have a date in the near future with some nice people most of which holding government jobs ... hey that can't be too bad!! I forgot how to make hot cocoa...help

persephonee -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/23/2008 6:48:24 PM)
pick me up at 1030...im easy... my mailman thinks im going to have sex with him...again. How do i get him off my case?

stormgirl -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/23/2008 9:39:24 PM)
Get some catalogs for Nazi and animal porn mailed to you - without the plain brown wrappers. My mailman likes Nazi animal porn - how can I seduce him?

shivermetimbers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/24/2008 5:19:23 PM)
Show up at the door wearing nothing but a german shepard costume. My toothpaste isn't making my teeth any whiter like it claims it will, what should I use instead?

persephonee -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/24/2008 5:25:19 PM)
bleach pen....you can keep it in your pocket and use it thruout the day... i locked myself in the bathroom and am posting this from my phone...how can i get out of here?

shivermetimbers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/24/2008 6:38:25 PM)
Call 911 and tell them you are about to drown yourself in the toilet. I'm feeling really lazy and don't want to cook right now, I don't have money to order out, what should I do?

GoodFeathers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/24/2008 7:32:06 PM)
Grab a bag and "forage" in your neighbor's houses for food. If they ask questions, tell them that you are getting back to your hunter/gatherer roots. If this fails, you will be placed in a small room where you will be guaranteed at least two meals a day, free of charge. My neighbors aren't buying my "hunter/gatherer" routine, what should I do to convince them?

shivermetimbers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/24/2008 7:41:19 PM)
Wave a pistol in front of their face, they'll believe you're a hunter than. I need a new lamp, but I'm afraid my dead grandmother would haunt me if I got rid of her old one, what can I do to have a nice lamp and no dead grandmother haunting me?

GoodFeathers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/25/2008 10:18:38 AM)
Who says you have to get rid of it? Take it apart and reallocate the pieces to new things. The central shaft could be a nice towel rack. The shade might make a lovely fruit bowl that grandma would approve of! If you do want to get rid of it, do it piece by piece over the course of twenty years, she'll never notice. I see dead people. What should I do?

Araven -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/25/2008 11:04:55 AM)
Make sure absolutely not to help them with their problems. If the ghosts are asking for advise, to help their loved ones.. or whatever it is. You must make sure not to help them, otherwise they might pass on and be free of haunting people! We wouldnt want that at all. We don't want a creepy ghost guy like Patrick Swayzee(however you spell it) trying to move objects around us. So.. I don't really want to get around to doing my chores today, how should i get out of doing them.

sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/25/2008 11:21:14 AM)
Become a ghost. It's raining in the backyard but the front is in full sun. Should I move?

GoodFeathers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/25/2008 4:46:28 PM)
No, just turn around. If you want it to be sunny, face that way and believe it's sunny everywhere. Eventually, the rain will listen to your innermost thoughts and stop making things all wet. I will be moving tomorrow, but I have no boxes.

wulfgarw -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/26/2008 11:54:01 AM)
Just gather enough friends to form a 'conveyor line' to hand every item from one person to the next... I'm having transmission problems on my car.

sirsholly -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/26/2008 1:20:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wulfgarw Just gather enough friends to form a 'conveyor line' to hand every item from one person to the next... I'm having transmission problems on my car. preform the "radio repair". The worse the noise...the louder the tunes. I am cooking most of the dinner tomorrow. Any helpful advice?

sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/26/2008 1:40:02 PM)
Just one word... Nomex. I have five rechargeable batteries of the 18-volt variety but only three chargers. I need all five to be charged at the same time. How can I do this?

sirsholly -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/26/2008 1:41:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sappatoti Just one word... Nomex. smart ass[:D]

mystickoolaid -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/26/2008 1:47:25 PM)
Put three of them in the chargers, one in your car for the alternator to charge, and go borrow the neighbor's car for the last one. They'll understand and appreciate your ingenuity. How do I open my soup with no can opener?

shivermetimbers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/26/2008 3:32:21 PM)
Just put a sterno lighter under it, eventually it will open. I'm thinking of making a pot roast, what ingredients should I add?

GoodFeathers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/26/2008 8:30:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shivermetimbers Just put a sterno lighter under it, eventually it will open. I'm thinking of making a pot roast, what ingredients should I add? Pot of course! Everyone will be happier and the after dinner discussion will most likely be a blast. Plus, no leftovers to clean up! My back hurts, but I'm out of aleve, what should I do?

Sundowner -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/27/2008 1:10:53 AM)
Pop a pair of nipple clamps on - making sure they grip just the tips of your nipples; your mind will move away from thoughts of your back remarkably quickly. Better still ask your neighbour to help and put the clamps on for you. I have too many acceptances for my "come and stay" invites.

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