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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/3/2008 10:38:19 AM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		The one that has an STD, chances are,  she'll be the only woman you are sleeping with for quite some time.

I keep missing my eye with my eye drops, how can I start hitting the target?

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 5081
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/3/2008 10:47:27 AM   
sappatoti


Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline
Get a barrel full of the solution and dunk your head in, blinking several times just to make sure you get it in your eyes.

The Christmas decorations need to go out in the yard but I'm not motivated to do so. How do I get the decorations to set themselves up?


_____________________________

Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

(in reply to shivermetimbers)
Profile   Post #: 5082
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/3/2008 11:07:02 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		easy. Just set the decorations out in the yard. Someone will steal them overnight and you wont have to worry about putting them up.

My tiny dog wants to have sex with the neighbors great dane. without holding him up how can I help him.

(in reply to sappatoti)
Profile   Post #: 5083
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/3/2008 11:12:55 AM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		Another great use for duct tape! Duct tape yard sticks to his feet to act as stilts!

How do I get a blonde, a redhead and a brunette to all want to have sex with ME, when I am 40 fat and balding? (there is a whole group of women who find that very atractive in men, you know. Why not so many men who find that attractive in women?)

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 5084
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/3/2008 11:25:27 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Get them very drunk and then lie about your age.

how do you expect to be on here when your fat and bald and 40?

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 5085
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/3/2008 3:51:57 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		Where else would you be when you are a fat, bald 40 year old chick?
next time you are wanking off, cybering with some hot 20 year old nyophyte who sent you a nude dirty pic of herself - cause she just doesn't happen to own any pics of herself clothed at a family picnic... think about it.

If my batteries are dead, what are some good things to use for wanking off?

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 5086
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/5/2008 6:00:44 AM   
GoodFeathers


Posts: 202
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Hook it up to your car battery and let 'er rip.  Or, attach the uhm...implement in question to the end of a sawsall and turn it on.  Hope you like friction...

Fat, bald, and 40 and He's out of duct tape, what do we do?


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"The more I learn, the more I realize I haven't learned enough."

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 5087
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/7/2008 12:03:55 AM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Super glue, hair from the barber shop floor, and a Richard Simmons video.

I have a sweet tooth, but sugar gives me indigestion. How can I eat sweets without suffering?

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to GoodFeathers)
Profile   Post #: 5088
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/7/2008 12:36:01 PM   
GoodFeathers


Posts: 202
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Intravenous injection.  Have your sugar, but eat a carrot while your doing so...health is important you know.

Sir got a new mini bullet vibe, but the batteries died!  What do we do now?


_____________________________

"The more I learn, the more I realize I haven't learned enough."

(in reply to shivermetimbers)
Profile   Post #: 5089
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/7/2008 5:27:44 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		Do you have a smith and wesson? It's called a bullet vibe for a reason.

What if I don't want to let the pretty little subbie girl go home when her visit is over? We don't actually own a basement....

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to GoodFeathers)
Profile   Post #: 5090
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2008 12:27:41 AM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		The crawl space will work just fine. 

How do I know I've hooked up the jumper cables correctly? 

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 5091
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2008 12:32:26 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		By the agony you're in from having them attached to your nipples.

What's the best way to peel a potato?

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CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to shivermetimbers)
Profile   Post #: 5092
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2008 12:57:38 AM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline 		Plastic explosives.

I have snow covering my driveway and I'm really not in the mood to shovel. How can I remove it?


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E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 5093
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2008 1:40:25 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		Soak the driveway in Alcohol, then set it on fire.  Dont use gasoline, it causes pollution.

My extremely sensible sister (co-owner of the house and property) refuses to allow me to get a full sized WORKING replica of a civil war field artillery piece, how can I convince her to change her mind? 


_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to E2Sweet)
Profile   Post #: 5094
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2008 3:18:29 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		have her stand in front of it and show her that it does work.

Enough of this cold weather already!!!


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PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to jlf1961)
Profile   Post #: 5095
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2008 3:50:50 AM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		what cold weather? come down under and enjoy temps soon to be boiling

how do i get the scheduling done without getting more headaches?

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20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub


(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 5096
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2008 11:47:20 AM   
sappatoti


Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline 		Throw the calendars into a blazing fireplace and enjoy a relaxing adult beverage by the glow of their flames.

I need to be in two places at one time. How can I clone myself on the cheap?

_____________________________

Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

(in reply to KMsAngel)
Profile   Post #: 5097
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2008 11:54:38 AM   
scifi1133


Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline 		Just split yourself down the middle with an average kitchen knife. That should work.

I need to get back to florida for the wedding but have no vacation time or money.

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09


(in reply to sappatoti)
Profile   Post #: 5098
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2008 11:59:21 AM   
sappatoti


Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline 		Tell your boss you need to go under cover to track down some perps in FL (which, depending upon how things go may not be too far from the truth... :-P) and will be needing an expense account.

A CD has decided to become lodged in my slot-load drive and the manual eject button doesn't appear to release it. Now what?

_____________________________

Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

(in reply to scifi1133)
Profile   Post #: 5099
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2008 12:07:27 PM   
esotericbabe


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline 		Dig it out with a pair of pliers.

How do I get over a cold faster?

(in reply to sappatoti)
Profile   Post #: 5100
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