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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 2:52:43 PM

fluffypet61

Posts: 28879
Joined: 12/25/2006
From: New Jersey
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Go naked.

(anybody else think i am stuck in a rut???)

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fluffy

"an exuberant example of libido continuing along regardless of age" - Kia

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Post #: 5161

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 4:15:51 PM

sappatoti

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From: the edge of darkness...
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I'm thinkin' that perhaps, dear fluffy, the cure for your single-tracked mind in all this is for you to go fully naked yourself... and post some pictorial proof.

Let's see... the parakeet was only stunned... the dog is currently sleeping... the coffee no longer exists... the slave came, did her "thing", and has returned to her place... and I'm feeling the need to get out of the recliner. How do I cope with all of this peacefulness?

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Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

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If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

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Post #: 5162

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 4:22:20 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
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Two words: "POLKA PARTY!"

I don't want to cook dinner tonight, but I have this chicken in the fridge that needs used. Any advice?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 4:28:19 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

edited to say I'm answering sappatoti:

You should first nail the 'keet to it's perch- using a nail gun so you don't have to leave the recliner. The noise will wake the dog, who will then insist on being walked- but, as your butt is frozen in the chair, will settle for going on the carpet. This will raise your temper- causing you to finally get up from the chair. All the peacefulness should end when you fall on your face because your legs are asleep and the paramedics have to break in the front door to treat you. Simple, really.

and now BKSir:

Throw the chicken out on the sidewalk. If your sidewalk is like mine (south florida) it will be done in no time!

How can I get my piano tuned without spending a fortune?

< Message edited by hejira92 -- 5/4/2009 4:30:47 PM >

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Post #: 5164

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 5:05:07 PM

pissthirstysub

Posts: 3901
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I'll do it (you just twist some things around, right)
I need to feed the animals but don't want to.

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Post #: 5165

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 6:10:17 PM

sappatoti

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From: the edge of darkness...
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Then, don't. If they've watched you prepare their meals often enough, they know where the food is stored. Animals are pretty resourceful; they'll get that cabinet or cupboard open after a while (though, you might have to replace the claw-scratched doors).

One of the tires on my car has a slow leak and I'm too cheap-assed to have it professionally repaired. How can I fix this myself?

_____________________________

Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

(in reply to pissthirstysub)

Post #: 5166

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 6:14:38 PM

pissthirstysub

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Use doughnuts, so sweet and yummy anyway
My pet spiders have found where I keep the food, they clawed the doors, I'm scared.

(in reply to sappatoti)

Post #: 5167

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 6:23:24 PM

sappatoti

Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline

Leave your home to the spiders for a while and come visit me. I'll ease your fears (or possibly, make you so much more scared that whatever it is your spiders did will seem downright cuddly).

My digital television converter doesn't work very well with the indoor "rabbit ears" antenna yet I'm too cheap-assed to spring for an outdoor antenna or cable/satellite services. Any ideas on how I can improve my reception?

_____________________________

Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

(in reply to pissthirstysub)

Post #: 5168

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 6:30:46 PM

CrazyCats

Posts: 116
Joined: 2/15/2009
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(EDIT: Hmm I was late... got distracted.)

For the antenna problem, try watching your TV outside, and have sub hold the ear's for you. You can even glue them to her head just like real rabbit ears!

Say, I have this nasty ass sunburn, anyone know a good way to get rid of it in time for a wedding in two weeks? (yes, totally true statement, went to the beach Saturday, and we are still as red as my subbie's come-do-me-shoes!)

< Message edited by CrazyCats -- 5/4/2009 6:34:35 PM >

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(in reply to pissthirstysub)

Post #: 5169

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 6:35:37 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
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Go lay in the sun some more, until all the red skin is burned off.

What should I do if my boss wants me to teach 9th graders again next year?

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Post #: 5170

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 6:37:36 PM

pissthirstysub

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Sappa- place your television on the roof, it will get better reception that way, get a ladder to watch it
CrazyCats- Paint yourself green.
I want to see more stars but can't afford a telescope.

(in reply to CrazyCats)

Post #: 5171

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 6:42:55 PM

sappatoti

Posts: 14844
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From: the edge of darkness...
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92
...
What should I do if my boss wants me to teach 9th graders again next year?

quote:

ORIGINAL: pissthirstysub
...
I want to see more stars but can't afford a telescope.

Ladies, I've got some advice you're both going to love. Hejira can tell her bosses that she's got the perfect teacher for the 9th grade students, which would be PTS... who would then have access to a nice telescope to view the night sky with. :-)

The damn TV slid off the roof and smashed into unrepairable pieces. Now how do I go about putting my brain cells (those few that are still working) into a zombified stupor?

_____________________________

Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

(in reply to pissthirstysub)

Post #: 5172

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 6:48:58 PM

intenze

Posts: 2176
Joined: 1/26/2009
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drink 22 tarantulas.

How do I get rid of this unsightly rash?

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Namaste, bitches!

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Post #: 5173

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 7:09:30 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Screw the rash. Give everyone blindfolds and they won't be able to see it.

I have a disciplinary session scheduled and would rather watch TV or surf. How do I shirk responsibility?

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 5174

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 7:20:20 PM

fluffypet61

Posts: 28879
Joined: 12/25/2006
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

(go naked?)

That breakdown i was planning on having later just caught up with me. What do i do now?

< Message edited by fluffypet61 -- 5/4/2009 7:21:42 PM >

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fluffy

"an exuberant example of libido continuing along regardless of age" - Kia

"Commandment Number One for any truly civilized society is this: Let people be different." -David Grayson

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 5175

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 7:52:29 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
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Take off all your clothes and dance outside by the light of the moon.

I hate long hair on men, yet Master is growing His out, how should I deal with this?

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Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
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MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to fluffypet61)

Post #: 5176

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 7:55:22 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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Put his hair up in pin curls. He'll look adorable, and you'll have the short 'do you prefer to see on him.

I'm trying to figure out of I want to go to sleep or read a book. What should I do?

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Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

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(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 5177

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 7:59:34 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

Oh, definitely find a really good book to read. That way, you'll stay up all night and won't have to worry about sleep at all!

Since I can't go to your party, how can I console myself?

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Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 5178

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 8:04:46 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Web cam... those of us here in the DC area can all watch... on a big screen... and pine for you from afar.

OK, I've been up all night, and my book is read. Now I'm tired, but more learned. What do I do next?

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 5179

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2009 8:20:41 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Now that you've finished your book, there's nothing stopping you from dropping everything and moving to Colorado to be mine.

I've got a bunch of bulbs I need to plant in my rock garden. What to do?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 5180

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