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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/1/2006 11:28:14 PM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
My kids are coming this weekend and I don't have anything planned... any thoughts?


Pay them to entertain themselves while you kick back and relax.

My fair haired daughter and i are going to hang out at the pool all weekend...all my sunscreen is packed in storage and i am too cheap to go buy more...any suggestions?

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 541
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/1/2006 11:36:20 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My fair haired daughter and i are going to hang out at the pool all weekend...all my sunscreen is packed in storage and i am too cheap to go buy more...any suggestions?


Dog feces is a wonderful, cheap sunscreen. You may have to squish it between your fingers before you can spread it on yourself, but I am sure you will get the hang of it. Oh... also, if you are going to a public pool, the dog feces will ensure that you get a decent place to sit. Oh yes, bring a lot of it because it will wash off in water.


I need to clean my apartment windows and screens, I am just not motivated enough to do them. Is there an easy way?

< Message edited by Gauge -- 5/1/2006 11:37:13 PM >

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to champagnewishes)
Profile   Post #: 542
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/1/2006 11:42:57 PM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I need to clean my apartment windows and screens, I am just not motivated enough to do them. Is there an easy way?


Hire ille...oops wrong thread...squirt them with liquid dish soap such as Joy or Dawn and wait for the next rain.

My dog doesn't like other dogs sniffing her butt...what should i do?

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 543
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/1/2006 11:49:31 PM   
colosubseeking


Posts: 52
Joined: 3/2/2006
Status: offline 		Strap some raw meat to her butt, then the other dogs won't sniff her butt, they'll bite it.

In reference to my earlier post, after i gave the cops the body, they arrested me. They're threatening the death penalty. What should i do now?

_____________________________

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

-Mark Twain

"I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."

-Woody Allen

(in reply to champagnewishes)
Profile   Post #: 544
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 12:43:09 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

In reference to my earlier post, after i gave the cops the body, they arrested me. They're threatening the death penalty. What should i do now?


Get more life insurance and cancel your dental plan. You won't need it.

I've been told I'm paranoid, but people really are out to get me. Should I hire a body guard?



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to colosubseeking)
Profile   Post #: 545
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 1:28:37 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Nah, go down to the local Army/Navy Surplus Store, stock up on military gear and
walk around with a pistol in a holster on one hip and a pepper spray in a pouch on
the other.  If you think you are being followed, start screaming and attacking
the people behind you. 
 
The frat house down the street keep throwing loud parties with the "boomba-
boomba" music blaring.  What should I do?

-Vendaval-

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 546
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 1:33:11 AM   
TolerableCruelty


Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline 		convince BitaTruble that the frat boys are the ones that are "after her" and send her down there with the military gear....

I'm tired of all the online chatroom drama.. how can I end it ?


(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 547
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 1:40:10 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Have an affair with your boss or their spouse and start going to swing clubs with you
co-workers.
 
My nipples are sore from rubbing up against My boy's hair chest, what do I do?
 
-Vendaval-

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to TolerableCruelty)
Profile   Post #: 548
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 2:10:11 AM   
MsLayla


Posts: 47
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Sweden/Belgium
Status: offline 		Rub against his hair back instead, if needed you could try with some KY so its more slippery and less friction.

My plants are dying, what can I do?

_____________________________

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 549
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 7:59:38 AM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline 		Stick a sign on them..."awaiting their second coming".

I need to do laundry but i am out of laundry soap...is there something i can use instead?



_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to MsLayla)
Profile   Post #: 550
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 8:51:22 AM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		Many years ago, they used to use old horses to make soap. Try putting a horse in your washing machine.
 
The Starbucks on my way to school is so packed, sometimes I have to go without my morning coffee. What should I do?

(in reply to champagnewishes)
Profile   Post #: 551
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 11:13:10 AM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

The Starbucks on my way to school is so packed, sometimes I have to go without my morning coffee. What should I do?


Make yourself a fake law enforcement badge and flash it while yelling "Emergency...out of the way, coming through!" 
 
My voicemail is not letting Me know when I have messages  ...any ideas? 
 
 


_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 552
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 11:13:20 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The Starbucks on my way to school is so packed, sometimes I have to go without my morning coffee. What should I do?


Dress in full combat armor and camouflage, get an M-16 and several grenades and walk right up to the counter and casually order your double moca-chino latte with steamed non-fat milk.

I am running out of peanuts to feed my chipmunk, is there any thing else I can feed him?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 553
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 11:15:49 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My voicemail is not letting Me know when I have messages  ...any ideas?


Scold it. Give it a verbal warning and then a written warning if it happens again. Issue a second written warning if it occurs again and it if continues after that, fire it and get a new voicemail.

I am running out of peanuts to feed my chipmunk, is there any thing else I can feed him?


_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 554
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 12:49:46 PM   
Guest
 Yes, you can feed him to the dog.


Is there a way that I can attract a partner that will be really bad for me?

(in reply to Gauge)
  Post #: 555
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 2:15:36 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Is there a way that I can attract a partner that will be really bad for me?


Certainly there is. But after the chipmunk comment I am disinclined to answer you... but I will try. What you do is go to a nightclub with a large piece of rotting meat hanging around your neck. The person that trys to pick you up should be the one you seek.

I don't know what to do for dinner. Any thoughts?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Guest)
Profile   Post #: 556
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 3:41:58 PM   
orokana


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline 		This brings us back to the chipmunk... but I shall resist. Grab something out of your medicine cabinet and deep fry it.

My computer seems to be infected with spyware. What should I do?

_____________________________

"I wouldn't mind if you want to kill me, but I might struggle a bit" - Trowa Barton

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 557
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 4:00:02 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Sure, go down to the local yuppie-high-priced-pet-store and purchase gourmet, organic, no-additive rodent feed.  Pay $25.00 for about 2 pounds of it.
Train your little buddy to ONLY eat said gourmet feed and to turn up
his/her nose at any sub-standard food offerings from the lowly human.
 
The walls of My apartment are thin and the guy on the other side 
snores like a bloody chain saw.  What do I do?
 
-Vendaval-


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I am running out of peanuts to feed my chipmunk, is there any thing else I can feed him?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 558
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 4:12:58 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Sure, post numerous profiles Online and in your local newspaper with the following
personal advertisement -
 
"I am a young millionaire looking for a woman to spoil with love, attention and presents. Tall, dark and handsome, standing 6 foot 2 and weighing 200 pounds.
Since I am also a virgin, you will be my first and only love. I work out daily, have
5% body fat, can bench press 500 pounds, have a 10 inch dick, 6 inches in diameter, and want to learn all techniques possible for cunningulus."
 
The incessant rains this spring have caused the swimming pool in My apartment
complex to overflow.  What do I do?

-Vendaval-
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorTwelve
Is there a way that I can attract a partner that will be really bad for me?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Guest)
Profile   Post #: 559
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/2/2006 4:18:54 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Phone it in, both the sex and the food.  Call for a stripper and for food delivery at
the same time.  If the food arrives first, share it will the life entertainment,
provide she is willing to be the serving platter.
 
If the live entertainment arrives first, invite the delivery guy inside and have
him watch.  Tip him a $20 if he is willing to be the serving platter.
 
The coast fog is rolling in tonight and soon visibility will be nil.
What do I do?

-Vendaval-


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I don't know what to do for dinner. Any thoughts?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 560
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